Long section of conversation

[chatbug]

Do you have any suggestions for how to best identify the speakers of a long (> 1 typewritten page) section of conversation? Especially if there are three or four speakers?

It doesn't seem to me that the text of the conversation flows if I constantly put in references like:

Bert sighed, "I must be with you this night."

Sally cooed, "And I with you."

Thanks in advance.

 

[KillerMuffin]

Bert sighed, "I must be with you this night!"

Sally cooed, "And I with you."

Fred slammed his fist on the table. "NO! You're MY wife!"

Bert bristled, facing Fred fully. "I won her in the poker game. Are you welshing?"

"Wait a minute, calm down here." George, ever the peacemaker, put a calming hand on Fred's shoulder. "She can go home with me."

"How about a 4some?" Sally giggled.

"Sally!" Fred sounded utterly shocked.

Any ideas sweetie?

 

[Weird Harold]

There is a conversation such as you describe in my story _two bags for the bride_

My editor complained that my solution was a bit confusing, but that was my intent.

My scene is a case where everyone is talking at once -- a situation that in real life leaves people wondering who said what. I think I succeeded in conveying the feeling of that freewheeling kind of conversation.

If your situation is a calmer sort of exchange, you can use "internal tags" by each speaker identifying who just spoke when they reply, or address the next speaker. That reduces the external tagging to when somebody interrupts.

"John, I don't care what Fred says. I Love you."

"Hush darling, I love you too. But I must hear what Fred has to say."

"John, Your darling lover, Marsha, has been cheating on both of us."

"That's a lie!" Marsha shouted.

It's not a lie, John. She swore that she would only go back to you when I was too tired to fuck her anymore. Then I caught her in a foursome with Tom Dick and Harry."

Etc, ad nauseum.

 

[Whispersecret]

WH, has an excellent suggestion there.

Another trick is to insert a sentence in which the speaker is doing something. If you keep the sentence with the quotation, it identifies the speaker without using a tag.

Amy scratched her head. "What IS that?"

Shrugging, Paul continued to spread butter on his muffin. "Looks like a picture of your father's cock, Ame."

"Let me see that!" Janet laughed and craned her neck.

"All righty. Have a look." Yvonne held up the photograph. "Wouldn't mind wrapping my lips around that big guy."

Amy gasped and put her hands over her ears. "I'm not LISTENING!"

 

[chatbug]

I appreciate all of your suggestions, and I'm going to try to use them in writing conversation. I'm trying to be more descriptive in my writing.

I guess I'm used to reading screenplays as well as stories, but it still seems a little contrived to me, especially in a long conversation, to keep having the characters refer to each other. I agree with you Weird Harold in that I should have the characters refer to each other some.

There's not always action to go with the conversation, although after seeing KillerMuffin's and Whispersecret's examples, I could better describe what action there is.

In a conversation, three or four people can sit around, and just talk. The talk can go on and on without any action and few changes in emotion, and without anyone speaking directly to anyone else in particular. Is there any clear way to write this type of conversation without using screenplay type name tags?

 

[KillerMuffin]

Sure.

The muscle in John's jaw tensed. "No Marsha, I didn't know that."

Fred exchanged glances with Marsha. "I thought you knew John, Fred and I have been, well, dating."

Bernice gasped, drawing everyone's attention. "Fred!"

Fred's eyes slipped to the right, avoiding Bernice. "I'm sorry honey, but I love Marsha."

"Fred?" Marsha's confused tone cut over Bernice's muted sobs.

"I didn't know how to tell you this Marsha, but-"

"Fred and Bernice are married." John cut in, his voice as sharp as a razor. "Bet you didn't know old Fred was such a player."

Marsha leveled an accusatory look at Fred. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"It's not a real marriage, Bernice and I haven't had sex in 13 years."

"Fred!" Bernice surged to her feet, then collapsed back into her chair.

 

[Whispersecret]

Do you have a specific conversation written already? Maybe you just need one of us to put it through the meat grinder. You could post it here and see what we come up with.

Any scene where there are more than two people is challenging to write. You have to work very hard to keep everyone straight for the reader. You have to limit use of pronouns because if you have two men in the room, "he" often becomes ambiguous. You have to keep track of their physical positions, and any props, like cigarettes, pens, etc. that they may be handling.

Speaking of props, that's something else I sometimes use to help make the scene flow. Frankly, it might be boring to just read about four people sitting around talking. It might help the scene be a little more dynamic to have them eating lunch, playing cards, or something. Then, they have utensils, napkins, glasses, poker chips to handle. They can chew, swallow, toss in a chip, lay down their cards, etc.

If you're used to writing/reading screenplays, those rely on the actors to supply the actions, and on the prop-guys (I'm sure that's the professional term. LOL) to supply the props. In a book, you, the author, have to supply it all. Don't cheat your readers by failing to include details that make the scene more real and more interesting.

In summary, the trick is to intersperse the tags, the actions, the verbal identification within the dialogue itself, smoothly, so it doesn't detract from the flow of the scene. That's the magic of good writing. There's no hard and fast rule that you can apply to it all; it takes style, which is something you can develop.

Keep writing and good luck.

 

[Weird Harold]

In a conversation, three or four people can sit around, and just talk. The talk can go on and on without any action and few changes in emotion, and without anyone speaking directly to anyone else in particular. Is there any clear way to write this type of conversation without using screenplay type name tags?

Killer Muffin's example is good as one method of identifying speakers. WhisperSecret's example and idea of including props is another good method. Of course I think my example is also a good method.

The point is that there are many different ways to accomplish your goal. A mixture of all three examples with props included could be considered an "ideal" method.

A lot will depend on how you want the reader to percieve the conversation. You don't want to depict a civil conversation over tea the same as you do a shouting match where everyone talks at once.

If you watch the dynamics of a conversation between more than three people, you'll notice that a polite conversation will generaly be between two people at a time, with ony an occasional interjection by the others. A less civil conversation will be three talking at one, or two pairs talking at each other.

You wouldn't write any of these situations the same way you would the others. Every conversation, whether real or fictional, is different.

I'm sure that just because you're thinking about how to make it work, you dialogue is going to be better than average. A good editor that understands what you're trying to convey can make it even better.

 

[chatbug]

Thank you all

Thanks for your help. I hope it didn't seem like I was arguing with you. You have provided some good information for me. I'm saving this thread so that I can refer to it in the future.

 

[Whispersecret]

Not at all, Chatbug. Asking for clarification isn't arguing. I admire you for caring enough about your writing to ask for help here.