Long Monologues

[Ldy_Sea]

SOmertimes I have a character who is speaking for a long time. Too long to be comfortably read on a computer screen with out a paragraph break. When you have this happen in your writing how do you break it up int smaller paragraphs? I try to throw in a small action or something but it seems contrived and out of place.

 

[redzinger]

If they're talking to someone, I add an interjection from the other person. Or an action.

 

[sr71plt]

Best to interject a response by another character or description, but if you must have a long chuck of monologue, you can still break it up into separate paragraphs. Begin the first paragraph with quotes, but don't end the paragraph with a quote mark. Start the next paragraph with quotes, and so on, to the end, where you end it all with close quotes.

 

[HeyAll]

2 quick things:

Have someone say a quick word in between.

".............."

"My god."

He continued, "......."


Or just have an action:

"........"

The room remained silent throughout the speech. Everyone was captivated.

He continued, "......."

 

[Hypoxia]

All of the above unless there's a reason for a long stream-of-consciousness string. Context matters. If Cain is ranting at Abel, then yes, show Abel's reactions. If Cain is lecturing or briefing a group, then use interrupted paragraphs, maybe with a few gestures thrown in:

"..."

He paused for a sip of water.

"..."​

As always, learn at the feet of the masters -- i.e. copy what works. Study how published pieces are structured.

 

[PennLady]

I agree with all of the above. I have that from time to time, and although you don't want to constantly interrupt with things. But interjecting someone's reaction every paragraph or two, as well as noting what the speaker might be doing, feeling, or thinking, are all good ideas.

 

[Handley_Page]

I agree with all of the above. I have that from time to time, and although you don't want to constantly interrupt with things. But interjecting someone's reaction every paragraph or two, as well as noting what the speaker might be doing, feeling, or thinking, are all good ideas.

Such a thing also reinforces what the words actually Say, I think.

 

[LKWilliams]

There's nothing to do inherently differently for longer monologues so long as you follow punctuation conventions and the reader isn't getting lost in a featureless plane of disembodied speech (unless, of course, that's the effect you're aiming for).

Natural speech doesn't come with paragraph breaks, but natural speech is also halting and fragmentary and full of hesitation and run-on sentences and backtracking and stumbling and lists with far too many examples in them; all those things are normally conveniently elided, and leaving them in is a marked stylistic choice.

If there aren't narrative-voice descriptions and the speaker doesn't act upon or react to their surroundings, it's disorienting and confusing—the reader may not know the setting, what things look like, what else is going on, or perhaps even who's speaking to who. Again, that can be deliberate; if you're trying to convey, say, a drill sergeant at boot camp shouting in the viewpoint character's face, confused and scared is an excellent effect to evoke in the reader.

(On punctuation conventions: if a paragraph break happens within a speech, don't include a closing quotation mark on the first paragraph but do include an opening mark on the second.)

Here's a silly little example, pulling all that together—for a bit over 300 words (roughly, one printed page), there's no use of the narrative voice but spoken commands and reactions give context to the monologue; the overall effect is disorienting to the reader, matching the narrator's experience of being screamed at.

"Are you a private or a maggot? What's that—you say you're a private? Say it again: "I am a private, SIR". Privates show their instructors respect! Privates stand straight and salute their superiors! Sloppy—salute again! You are not standing straight enough to be a private—you're a maggot! A disgusting, slimy maggot. I should stamp on you right now, but you'd soil my boots.

"Look at my boots, maggot. Are they shiny? Can you see your disgusting, maggoty reflection in them? Privates don't stammer—privates say 'yes, sir' to sergeants straight away! Privates are soldiers, and soldiers make sure their boots are clean enough to eat three meals a day off! Do you think your boots are clean enough? You're a disgrace, maggot. Your boots aren't even fit for a maggot to eat off—I can see the mud on them.

"I'm ashamed to be your instructor, do you know that, maggot? And when I get disgraced, I get angrier and angrier, and I take it out on veryone else in the platoon. What do you think all the rest of the privates and the maggots in this here room are going to do to you once I'm done with you?

"Maggot, you are going to drop and give me twenty right now, and then you are going to clean and polish your boots properly, because tonight your neighbour here, Private Johnson, is going to eat his dinner off them. Are you going to call him a disgusting maggot by giving him a disgusting, muddy plate? Huh, maggot—that's "no, SIR"! Say it, maggot! And if it's not clean, someone else in this platoon is going to eat a meal off your nasty, dirty boots, until you get this right.

"Are you winded after just twenty push-ups? Maggot, you should be ashamed of yourself. Clean up your act, maggot, or I'll be back tomorrow, and I won't be so nice.

"Dismissed!"

The drill sergeant stalked off but I couldn't stand at ease or stop sweating for another five minutes.

 

[Hypoxia]

I agree with all of the above. I have that from time to time, and although you don't want to constantly interrupt with things. But interjecting someone's reaction every paragraph or two, as well as noting what the speaker might be doing, feeling, or thinking, are all good ideas.

These help to paint a move vivid picture. A voice emanating from the void for page after page is NOT as evocative as a person moving, acting, and reacting within a sensory environment, a world of sight, sound, scent, touch, taste (she licks him between paragraphs), and thought. (Some knowledge systems count thought as the sixth sense). An extended monologue become dialog when the speaker reacts to their surroundings, including listener responses. With the picture painted, it's a story; without, it's a report.

 

[sr71plt]

It's not just spoken monologues that are involved. There can be letters placed inside a story, and these, more often than not, are harder to break up (all though it can be done) than spoken monologues are.

 

[Hypoxia]

It's not just spoken monologues that are involved. There can be letters placed inside a story, and these, more often than not, are harder to break up (all though it can be done) than spoken monologues are.

Harder, but not THAT hard. Let the letter-reader or -writer interject an action or reaction.

I read, "Dear John:

"I don't know how to tell you this, but I've taken another lover. Mr Ed is so strong and gentle, and I love his voice."

(My eyes watered with disbelief!)

"Be sure to buy extra bags of oats when you're in town. Charge them to my account. I'll never forget you.

"Your best friend,"

(Not any more, she's not!)

"Jeanne." ​

A similar tack would show the writer's inner thoughts as they wrote the letter.

I wrote, "Dear John:

"I don't know how to tell you this, but I've taken another lover. Mr Ed is so strong and gentle, and I love his voice."

(I almost wrote 'schlong' instead of 'voice' but that would hurt John too much.)

"Be sure to buy extra bags of oats when you're in town. Charge them to my account. I'll never forget you.

"Your best friend,"

(Well, ex-friend now, I'm sure.)

"Jeanne." ​

See? Easy-peasy.

 

[sr71plt]

But some of us would find doing it to that extent very (Very) tedious and stopping the flow of the story dead in its tracks.

 

[Handley_Page]

Harder, but not THAT hard. Let the letter-reader or -writer interject an action or reaction.

I read, "Dear John:
"I don't know how to tell you this, but I've taken another lover. Mr Ed is so strong and gentle, and I love his voice."
(My eyes watered with disbelief!)
"Be sure to buy extra bags of oats when you're in town. Charge them to my account. I'll never forget you.
"Your best friend,"
(Not any more, she's not!)
"Jeanne." ​

A similar tack would show the writer's inner thoughts as they wrote the letter.

I wrote, "Dear John:
"I don't know how to tell you this, but I've taken another lover. Mr Ed is so strong and gentle, and I love his voice."
(I almost wrote 'schlong' instead of 'voice' but that would hurt John too much.)
"Be sure to buy extra bags of oats when you're in town. Charge them to my account. I'll never forget you.
"Your best friend,"

(Well, ex-friend now, I'm sure.)

"Jeanne." ​

See? Easy-peasy.

What you say makes sense, but it is not generally so easy to achieve in practice, I feel. I reckon that putting thoughts down actually changes them and the resulting words may not accurately reflect the original inspired feeling.

The reason is that our short-hand thoughts will have a different set of expressions.

I'll never forget you.

"Your best friend,"

( Oh really ?)

"Jeanne."


Or something like it.

 

[PayDay]

SOmertimes I have a character who is speaking for a long time. Too long to be comfortably read on a computer screen with out a paragraph break. When you have this happen in your writing how do you break it up int smaller paragraphs? I try to throw in a small action or something but it seems contrived and out of place.

“I’ve missed doing monologues and especially with him because he loves it so much,” Jackson continued. “We’ve had to stop and yell ‘cut,’ because he’s laughing over my motherfu*king lines. He’ll be making some noise, and I’ll be like, [voice goes high] ‘What’s up, motherfu*ker?’ He has a Shakespearean literary prowess tapered for the cinema. He writes what we want to say and what people in the audience want to hear. It’s a real blessing to have said a lot of the things that he’s written.

http://deadline.com/2014/11/quentin...teful-eight-international-release-1201280583/

I've always figured that the reader will break the monologue up as needed, all I have to do is write it.

If they are reading it, they'll make it work as long as you did everything you could. For instance, if you see why the monologue is needed, so will the reader.

 

[Over_Red]

I try to avoid monologues specifically because people don't monologue very often. As a result, I feel that they can very easily become too artificial and pull a reader out of a story.

Conversation always has two parts. The next time you're in a restaurant or amongst friends, pay attention to the rhythm and cadence of the words. You'll find that people interrupt each other constantly. Even more often, people talk over one another; one person may be finalizing their thoughts as another injects their reaction or the start of their own thought.

I've found that the less people know each other, the more structured and stiff their speech becomes. Good friends run all over each other; strangers meeting for the first time are careful not to trip over each other's words. It seems like a given, but it's a different sort of realization when you're actively looking for it.

All that being said, there's a difference between dialogue and natural speech. Dialogue is a constructed imitation. It is inherently more theatrical than natural speech. Therefore, monologues can exist and even thrive in the context of written stories, but you should be careful for the very reason that monologues are extremely unnatural. Writing a good monologue is a balancing act that risks the reader's investment in the moment. The tradeoff is that a good monologue can become the defining moment of an entire story. See Hamlet's 3rd soliloquy.

So, they're powerful, but risky. With that in mind, I only use monologues if I have a very specific reason. I try to make that true for every word I write, but monologues are particularly sensitive.

I also very much agree with many of the things stated above by various posters; break up floaty chunks of dialogue with character movements, or a description of the surroundings, to remind the reader of the scene and position of the characters in space. A few words from another character or their reaction to what is being said is definitely useful, too.