Long Distance Woes

[MissTaken]

Okay, I just arrived home after spending the weekend with scooter. Generally, our days off do not coincide so we make every effort to be together even if one or the other are working. Then, in addition to our schedules, trying to find alone time that is centered around my children's father's schedule makes for few weekends wherein we are free to just enjoy each other. No matter....we enjoy the children, his and mine, and make sure to find a bit of time each time we are together to focus completely on one another, when we have the children with us.

Now, it seems that saying good bye at the end of a visit is getting harder and harder. We are fortunate in that we can see each other every week, but our lives are so intertwined and our dreams are so big that when I am not with him, I am restless and at times, just sad.

How do long distance relationships make it? What are some things you have done to make it easier?

I didn't post this in the Talk forum as it isn't the BDSM that is an issue, it is the way we laugh together, have fun grocery shopping, talk about the serious challenges we face independently and together, watch a movie, fix a meal or just grab a quick kiss and say "I love you."

Those are the things that enrich who we are and tell me we are two parts to a much larger, beautiful picture.

I have no doubt we will eventually be together, 24/7. However, how does one learn patience when each taste of "US" makes us long for more, sooner and now?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Okay, I just arrived home after spending the weekend with scooter...

...How do long distance relationships make it? What are some things you have done to make it easier?...

...I have no doubt we will eventually be together, 24/7. However, how does one learn patience when each taste of "US" makes us long for more, sooner and now?

I don't think it ever gets easier nor do I think you can ever learn enough patience, especially since all you do is get emotionally closer and closer to one another.

Considering that you see each other once a week, you are among the lucky ones. Being a continent or more away from someone is a whole different thing. You don't need patience in that case. Some things (most things) are just not going to be a possiblity in that kind of relationship, for most people. And most people are realistic enough to understand and accept that.

But when you see and feel and experience each other as often as you two are able to do, patience is almost unattainable.

You lucky woman! What bittersweet bliss it is for you. ;-)

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, ADR, for putting up with my ramblings.

I know we are so lucky to be this close and to be able to realistically plan our future together.

I do apologize for being so maudlin. It is bittersweet bliss, though. You put it so well!

 

[SierraMoon]

((HUGS)) MissT

i know exactly how you feel. i'm only able to see Sir every other month or so, and it's been a couple months since i've seen Him now... We keep in touch on the phone, and online.. that's what keeps us going.

i'm sorry to hear that you are having a hard time. As ADR said, i don't think it gets any easier, you just learn to deal with it.

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, Sierra.

And best wishes to you and your Sir.

I am feeling a bit better after chatting with him for a bit. We do get to talk on the phone and on line a lot, so that helps.

Once we get settled, we will have to plan a lit together that he and I cater. We discovered this weekend, that no only is he a good cook, but we are great in the kitchen together!

Oh, he is a great cook!

 

[dragonlace]

I have been in the LDR i am in now for over a year and a half, and its excruciating at times. Just knowing He loves me and thinks of me helps, but sometimes its just not enough. Its the hardest thing i have ever even tried to do and i see Him far less than you do so it can be more difficult but less so at times.

I try to look ahead to a time when we will always be together and that helps me alot sometimes. I also talk to Him everyday and sometimes when i am feeling bad just hearing His voice helps me to feel closer to Him. There is nothing that really makes it easier but for love we go through a great deal.

I also find it so hard to leave Him when we have spent any time together, its the only place i feel like i truely belong and it feels like home so to leave is very hard on both of us.

Just my little bit, hope it helps, love is a many spendid thing, glad you found someone who brings joy and happiness to you *hugs*.

 

[MissTaken]

Thank you, dragon lace,

It is wonderful to feel this way. Actually, I had always hoped for and imagined a true love, but never imagined it would be like this.

We clique on every level and only miss a beat on rare occasions.

I also started this thread as we spend a lot of time talking about BDSM exclusive of the rest of the relationship. It seems to me that even in a 24/7, there has to be all those other things, other feelings that include enjoying time with one another etc.

Some recent posts made me think that some people think BDSM is like a recipe that has four components and they don't realize how solid the underlying relationship has to be in order for BDSM to work.

 

[Desdemona]

Miss T, I know what it's like. Snooze and I see each other almost every week. As time passes, it gets harder and harder to say goodbye at the end of our time together. He is so much a part of my life and I feel whole when we are together. The laughter, the time spent doing even mundane things together is such an important part of our relationship. The only thing I know that helps is to keep talking and to grab every minute you can get together while holding on to dreams of a future together on a 24/7 basis.

 

[Jessalynvix]

Yes LDR's are a pain in the bottom though it was through an LDR that I found true love and the most wonderful person in the world. I'm just glad that we are no longer in a ldr and are face to face.

though the time we spent getting to know one another before met helped us to grow and mesh together. I came for a visit and didn't leave because I couldn't leave it was to hard to do that. I tried to go home made it as far as Dallas I think then missed the bus to take me on so got a ticket back to Austin and I've been here since then and that will be two years in Sept.

Just hang in there Miss T and it will all work out.

 

[MissTaken]

Hello Des,

Thank you for posting.

I almost feel like being so close that you can see one another, but not share your entire life almost makes for a different set of challenges than when you are a continent apart.

We do many of those mundane things together and we are managing two household together, in some respects. We share the grocery shopping and when there is a crisis, we sort it out together.

It is all good, but teases us with what we can and will have.

 

[MissTaken]

Yes LDR's are a pain in the bottom though it was through an LDR that I found true love and the most wonderful person in the world. I'm just glad that we are no longer in a ldr and are face to face.

though the time we spent getting to know one another before met helped us to grow and mesh together. I came for a visit and didn't leave because I couldn't leave it was to hard to do that. I tried to go home made it as far as Dallas I think then missed the bus to take me on so got a ticket back to Austin and I've been here since then and that will be two years in Sept.

Just hang in there Miss T and it will all work out.

Wow! Now that is quite a tale to save for the family reunions!

Perhaps it was simply karma?

 

[A Desert Rose]

Thank you, ADR, for putting up with my ramblings.

I know we are so lucky to be this close and to be able to realistically plan our future together.

I do apologize for being so maudlin. It is bittersweet bliss, though. You put it so well!

I'm envious of you. ;-) And were I in your shoes, I would feel just like you do. Don't apologize for being in love... (hugs to you.)

 

[Jessalynvix]

Wow! Now that is quite a tale to save for the family reunions!

Perhaps it was simply karma?

possible though it also might be that I don't get along with my family and they didn't seem to care that I didn't come home I still need to make it back there to get the rest of my stuff but I'm not in a big hurry cause I refuse to go back without Dusty.

 

[Desdemona]

Hello Des,

Thank you for posting.

I almost feel like being so close that you can see one another, but not share your entire life almost makes for a different set of challenges than when you are a continent apart.

We do many of those mundane things together and we are managing two household together, in some respects. We share the grocery shopping and when there is a crisis, we sort it out together.

It is all good, but teases us with what we can and will have.

I think it does make for a different set of challenges. It seems like it would be easier, but somehow, it isn't. I wouldn't trade this set of problems and being teased with what is in our future for being farther apart, though. We've only been apart for 3 hours and already, I miss him terribly. I guess I'm a wuss. LOL

 

[A Desert Rose]

I think it does make for a different set of challenges. It seems like it would be easier, but somehow, it isn't. I wouldn't trade this set of problems and being teased with what is in our future for being farther apart, though. We've only been apart for 3 hours and already, I miss him terribly. I guess I'm a wuss. LOL

All I wanted was some fucking Belgian waffles!

 

[Desdemona]

All I wanted was some fucking Belgian waffles!

Damn... now I do too!

 

[MissTaken]

I'm envious of you. ;-) And were I in your shoes, I would feel just like you do. Don't apologize for being in love... (hugs to you.)

Thanks, darlin!

 

[MissTaken]

possible though it also might be that I don't get along with my family and they didn't seem to care that I didn't come home I still need to make it back there to get the rest of my stuff but I'm not in a big hurry cause I refuse to go back without Dusty.

Well, it is wonderful that you found your someone.

And also wonderful that that someone is someone we know and who I am very happy for! Dusty is fortunate to have someone as devoted as you to share her life.

 

[MissTaken]

I think it does make for a different set of challenges. It seems like it would be easier, but somehow, it isn't. I wouldn't trade this set of problems and being teased with what is in our future for being farther apart, though. We've only been apart for 3 hours and already, I miss him terribly. I guess I'm a wuss. LOL

Guess I am a wuss too!

 

[Jessalynvix]

Well, it is wonderful that you found your someone.

And also wonderful that that someone is someone we know and who I am very happy for! Dusty is fortunate to have someone as devoted as you to share her life.

thank you very much *blush*

 

[MissTaken]

All I wanted was some fucking Belgian waffles!

With whipped cream!

I can do amazing things with whipped cream!

 

[Jessalynvix]

Guess I am a wuss too!

Neither of you are wusses I miss Dusty when we are apart even if she's only left five minutes before hand let alone going away to her brother's or something for the weekend *shudder*

 

[SweetDommes]

Now, it seems that saying good bye at the end of a visit is getting harder and harder. We are fortunate in that we can see each other every week, but our lives are so intertwined and our dreams are so big that when I am not with him, I am restless and at times, just sad.

How do long distance relationships make it? What are some things you have done to make it easier?

Miss T - Holly and I went through this too - fortunately for only a year of actually being a couple. We were a minimum of 2.5 hours apart from each other that first year of our relationship. What got us through it were long "marathon e-mails", as our friends labled them, and letters/books that we mailed to each other.

I haven't read all of the posts, but I'm sure that in general, everyone said that patience (as difficult as it is), and communication are the keys. Holly and I talked every day for hours, either on the phone, or online. And all I have to say is that I'm glad that it's over - I could do it again if I had to, and we thought we were going to ... but it isn't any fun, and I have total sympathy with both of you. *hugs of support*

Karen

 

[SierraMoon]

Thank you, Sierra.

And best wishes to you and your Sir.

I am feeling a bit better after chatting with him for a bit. We do get to talk on the phone and on line a lot, so that helps.

Once we get settled, we will have to plan a lit together that he and I cater. We discovered this weekend, that no only is he a good cook, but we are great in the kitchen together!

Oh, he is a great cook!

Thank you sweet lady!! You know we both think the world of you, and i'm so glad you have found such blissful happiness!!

Hmmm, he can cook too?? Sounds like a keeper to me!!

 

[MissTaken]

Re: Re: Long Distance Woes

Miss T - Holly and I went through this too - fortunately for only a year of actually being a couple. We were a minimum of 2.5 hours apart from each other that first year of our relationship. What got us through it were long "marathon e-mails", as our friends labled them, and letters/books that we mailed to each other.

I haven't read all of the posts, but I'm sure that in general, everyone said that patience (as difficult as it is), and communication are the keys. Holly and I talked every day for hours, either on the phone, or online. And all I have to say is that I'm glad that it's over - I could do it again if I had to, and we thought we were going to ... but it isn't any fun, and I have total sympathy with both of you. *hugs of support*

Karen

Thanks, karen!

I am glad it worked out, eventually for you and Holly. Hmmm I can't imagine one without the other

We are okay. He is much better at thinking positive than I am. I guess it is one of the many reasons I just love him to pieces.