long distance relationships?

[littlebus]

I've entered into a long distance relationship. I'm near Seattle, he's near Manchester.

He's part of an extended group of friends, so I've met him before. But it has mostly been in the past few weeks we've been chatting/emailing that we've discovered we like each other "in that way."

I'm planning a trip to England for an event and a visit around Easter, lasting about 10 days. And I'm planning on doing my Masters in Exeter starting next fall, so it won't be *as* far.

So far we've been exchanging naughty stories. I plan on a few pictures as soon as the digicam is working properly again.

I'm looking for suggestions of other things we can do.


(I'm a virgin, he's had a few partners.)

 

[TirelessTongue]

Goddamn that is a long distance relationship.

 

[Cathleen]

Welcome to Lit littlebus........

Do the two of you use one of the messenger services like yahoo? If you both have a headset you can talk without the long distance charges with a phone. Being able to speak with each other is far nicer then typing.

Perhaps you could also make personalized music CDs if possible - send each other favorite songs or songs that seem to speak to you and your relationship.

What about handwritten letters too - I find it far more personal.

You may find little 'treasures' to send as a simple gift.

You sure have a very long distant relationship - there will be times of great frustration but keep communicating and being patient helps tons.

All the best to you and your beau.

 

[catalina_francisco]

Our relationship began long distance between the east coast of Australia and The Netherlands. It wasn't easy but the pros far outweighed the cons, especially the final living together in the same place. Best advice I can give is lots of communication about anything and everything, and perhaps beginning the day with an ecard just to let the other know you are thinking of them. http://www.smilies4you.de/content/liebe/b11.gif

Catalina

 

[Ravin the Poet]

I would agree, the hand written letters are very enjoyable. I was in sort of a long distance relationship and we wrote each other very often to keep in touch. And the mic and webcam are good things to have as well, so you can actually see the person daily.


Good luck with it.


Ravin

 

[jacuzzigal]

A coworker was in a long distance relationship for a few years (she now is happily married) and she told me that often they'd have phone or Internet dates where they'd watch the same movie at the same time or he'd send her dinner if he couldn't be there. She said it helped them feel like they were dating a little more.

I agree with Cate's suggestion for IM - it helps bridge distances. Little e-cards now and then are fun (and mostly free) ways to say you're thinking of him. And you can also play games together online.

And sending cards, handwritten notes and little gifts through the postal service are great non-Internet ways to let him know you're thinking about him.

All the best to you.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Another thing to try is both writing to a journal.
Writing those random thoughts when you feel like it is a great way to get to know each other even better.
A way to talk to each other when your schedules are different.

 

[littlebus]

Those are some good suggestions.

Thanks.

 

[Cathleen]

I have another idea for you littlebus, I have been involved with a LDR for about 4 months now - we started with a type of twenty questions thing to get to know each other better. The twist was you had to answer your own question too..... it has been lots of fun as well as enlightening. We found we had so much in common but we also found those little differences that make it sweet too.

No topic was out of bounds but there were a few questions that brought back some memories or events that were difficult - those were actually very beneficial to me, it gave me a different look at some events, many times lots of feelings came back and I was glad to be able to let some things go - even though I didn't even know I was holding on to them. Those times brought us even closer - it has been an amazing connection.

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Another thing to look into is a program called SKYPE.
It's a free Voice over internet to those who both have it..
Much better sound than Yahoo, like a phone call..
Just requires headphones.
NO long distance bill!!!

 

[babydoll2u]

Another thing to look into is a program called SKYPE.
It's a free Voice over internet to those who both have it..
Much better sound than Yahoo, like a phone call..
Just requires headphones.
NO long distance bill!!!

these are all such excellent suggestions....
MT... where do you get SKYPE? I did a search for it and came
up with zilch.

Cate... the 20-questions thing... can you give an example of how you and he did that? Either here or a pm?

thanks y'all

 

[MT_Pitcher]

these are all such excellent suggestions....
MT... where do you get SKYPE? I did a search for it and came
up with zilch.

Cate... the 20-questions thing... can you give an example of how you and he did that? Either here or a pm?

thanks y'all

http://www.skype.com/
The free version doesn't work calling a phone, only computer to computer..
For phone I'm going with Vonage, and have all my phone service over the internet...
$24.95 a month and free long distance anywhere in US or Canada. Needs Cable or DSL....
And the 20 question thing works better Email or Journal, someplace you can save them...

 

[babydoll2u]

http://www.skype.com/
The free version doesn't work calling a phone, only computer to computer..
For phone I'm going with Vonage, and have all my phone service over the internet...
$24.95 a month and free long distance anywhere in US or Canada. Needs Cable or DSL....
And the 20 question thing works better Email or Journal, someplace you can save them...

thanks sweetie!

 

[RavenousRae]

I'm in a long distance relationship as well but still in the US. I'm in Virginia and he's in Colorado. We fly to see each other every 3-5 months but otherwise one of the things that I always look forward to are our "netmeeting" times. We both have cams so we set up "dates" where we meet online and talk via yahoo or IM messanger and watch each other via the yahoo cam or Microsoft Netmeeting (most computer systems have this already installed). It can be sad saying goodbye but it can get very hot when we're watching each other. We basically play the "I'll show you mine, if you show me yours" game. We masterbate for each other or just watch each others faces while we talk - it's definitely something I look forward to. It makes you feel wanted and let's them see how turned you get when you see them. Like you I was a virgin when I met him and he'd had a few partners - it's worked all right for us so far. Good luck!

 

[littlebus]

Thanks, Cathleen.

A "no-holds-barred" round of questions is how we first said "wait a sec, this could work.... Wow! You're into that too?" One of those late-night "I'm lonely" discussions.

Just finished downloading some pictures (yay! working camera!) that he'll receive when he checks his email in a few hours.

 

[babydoll2u]

LDR are soooooooooo hard!

 

[Cathleen]

LDR are soooooooooo hard!

{{{ Peggy }}} They are and it requires so much patience.

 

[Nightbird]

Yes LDRs are hard.. But they are worth it.

 

[Kissophile]

No relationship that is worth anything is easy - but a good one is worth every sacrifice.

 

[babydoll2u]

very true..................

bracing myself for the longhaul

 

[Bobmi357]

My wife and I started out with a long distance relationship, she in Idaho, me in NYC. And that worked out very well.

We talked for hours on the phone (this was long before the internet and voip). The phone bills were astronomical!

Funny thing, after we met face to face for the first time, phone sex became soooo unsatisfying. Once you've tasted the real thing, how can a pale imitation compare?

 

[babydoll2u]

My wife and I started out with a long distance relationship, she in Idaho, me in NYC. And that worked out very well.

We talked for hours on the phone (this was long before the internet and voip). The phone bills were astronomical!

Funny thing, after we met face to face for the first time, phone sex became soooo unsatisfying. Once you've tasted the real thing, how can a pale imitation compare?

very very true!

 

[Cathleen]

No relationship that is worth anything is easy - but a good one is worth every sacrifice.

Now this is something I need to remember, thanks Kisso - for more then just these words too.

 

[someplace]

I've been involved in a couple of long distance relationships. One thing I've noticed. Once you've met and planned another meeting, be careful not to get too impatient with electronic communication. It's easy to become extremely frustrated with your routine when apart -- you start saying the same things and really almost become angry at the distance between you.

Patience and lots of communication are needed. Good luck!

 

[Cathleen]

I will remember those words Someplace, and if I come knocking on your PM box cussin' and fussin' tell me to knock it off.