I feel it deep down inside......I'm alone. True, I have friends, I have a loving supporting family, I hang out with people, I'm not alone.....but I am. I have yet to find that special someone, that special girl/woman who I long to be with, to around, to be a part of. Not just for sex, I want for a full relationship. Funny coming from a guy who's 19, eh? But its true, I'm tired and I have way too much free time, I want to use that free time to devote to my significant other of which, there is none right now. I see all these jocks getting girls day after day and each feeble attempt I make at sparking something ends in humiliation or rejection or both. Its seemingly not fair to guys who just want to have a good life and settle down with someone who is also with good standing morals and integrity and intellgence and charisma. What's more, I think being rejected so many times, its gotten me very curious indeed about sexual relations with a man. (yet emotional relationship, no, I've not gotten that curious.) And I'm still curious to this day about it. But above that, I still want a person I can love and who can love me for who I am and as it stands right now, I may never get it. So, I feel extremely alone and very depressed.....
Lonely
- Thread starter Zidane
- Start date
1sexylady
Queen Braticia..........
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Zidane..................
You will get it ......Stop looking for it ......sometimes a person can look so hard and if they just step back and relax they will find it when it is unexpected...... Finding a s/o doesn't mean you will never be alone....
I will be hoping for ya.....
1sexylady.......
You will get it ......Stop looking for it ......sometimes a person can look so hard and if they just step back and relax they will find it when it is unexpected...... Finding a s/o doesn't mean you will never be alone....
I will be hoping for ya..... 1sexylady.......
on_the_verge
agent pro·vo·ca·teur
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I undertand to an extent…
I write to share and allow other's to see within…
<<snip>>
I write to share and allow other's to see within…
<<snip>>
Last edited:
darkscribe
Really Really Experienced
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Re: Zidane..................
Isn't that the truth though. Zidane 1sexylady has hit the nail right on the head. You are looking way too hard. I know exactly where you are coming from because I have felt the same way myself. I'm 31 and I have yet to meet that special someone. For awhile I was going nuts because all of my friends that I had were getting married and I didn't even have a girlfriend. The problem that I had was that I was thinking way too much! you can't think about it you just have to let it happen. Then when you least expect it, there they are right in front of you. Try not to let it bother you, it'll happen
1sexylady said:You will get it ......Stop looking for it ......sometimes a person can look so hard and if they just step back and relax they will find it when it is unexpected...... Finding a s/o doesn't mean you will never be alone....
1sexylady.......
Isn't that the truth though. Zidane 1sexylady has hit the nail right on the head. You are looking way too hard. I know exactly where you are coming from because I have felt the same way myself. I'm 31 and I have yet to meet that special someone. For awhile I was going nuts because all of my friends that I had were getting married and I didn't even have a girlfriend. The problem that I had was that I was thinking way too much! you can't think about it you just have to let it happen. Then when you least expect it, there they are right in front of you. Try not to let it bother you, it'll happen
llee69
First Furball of Lit
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Hey Zi! I am sorry to hear you are down right now. I was very much feeling that way yesterday, for a couple other reasons.
Not being with someone can stink at times. I have never been good at just dating for the hell dating. so I have spent those nights alone, wondering. Crying inside.
I am mid 30's now. Divorced with no kids. I never would have thought I would be here 20 years ago.
I would still very much like to have kids. But I just dont know who/how.
sorry I am not much help. I am jsut saying you are not alone at all.
Not being with someone can stink at times. I have never been good at just dating for the hell dating. so I have spent those nights alone, wondering. Crying inside.
I am mid 30's now. Divorced with no kids. I never would have thought I would be here 20 years ago.
I would still very much like to have kids. But I just dont know who/how.
sorry I am not much help. I am jsut saying you are not alone at all.
zantac666
The lunatic is on line
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Hi zidane
Don't worry it will happen i'm 44 and not married. It seems that every girl i date ends up getting married to someone else three weeks ago i spent the night with a girl and that morning i said see you to night and she said no i'm getting married today that knocked me over i have had 4 women do that. but don't worry it will happen.
Don't worry it will happen i'm 44 and not married. It seems that every girl i date ends up getting married to someone else three weeks ago i spent the night with a girl and that morning i said see you to night and she said no i'm getting married today that knocked me over i have had 4 women do that. but don't worry it will happen.
llee69
First Furball of Lit
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Thinking about it now.
when I was 19 I wasnt seeeing anyone in particular. since I wasnt I was able to pack up a suitcase and go to europe to bounce around for a bit. I saw and learned a whole hellof a lot more over there compared to if I was here and dating someone. I met many very cool people over there.
Being picked up while hitchiking(in England) then spending a few days with a family on vacation from Germany. Their English wasnt great, but we got by well enough. We camped out at night, saw sights during the day, broke bread together and drank wine together. When it was time for them to go home I just kept on going.
For me it has always been more important to not worry so much about being with someone else. (not to say I dont want to at times) Maybe that is what gives me my alofness?
so go enjoy. go somewhere (if in school then wait til the end of the year) but do it and live life!
when I was 19 I wasnt seeeing anyone in particular. since I wasnt I was able to pack up a suitcase and go to europe to bounce around for a bit. I saw and learned a whole hellof a lot more over there compared to if I was here and dating someone. I met many very cool people over there.
Being picked up while hitchiking(in England) then spending a few days with a family on vacation from Germany. Their English wasnt great, but we got by well enough. We camped out at night, saw sights during the day, broke bread together and drank wine together. When it was time for them to go home I just kept on going.
For me it has always been more important to not worry so much about being with someone else. (not to say I dont want to at times) Maybe that is what gives me my alofness?
so go enjoy. go somewhere (if in school then wait til the end of the year) but do it and live life!
zantac666
The lunatic is on line
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Agree
100% agree i didn't have my first date until i was 20 i got in my car and drove around a few states see the country met a girl see stayed the night. That morning she had to go to church her father was the minister and she new what she was doing. Just relax zidane it will happenllee69 said:
on_the_verge
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Re: Re: Zidane..................
I agree with darkscribe & 1sexylady as well. We as humans have a electrical charge about us that is hidden to the eyes, but it can be felt. *We* seek confidence and strength in people—to admire or collect from. When there is a sense of our energy low, people may be able to feel that and it is not the positive energy we desire to expel. Be yourself and take care of other things in your life for the meantime and let your replenish your electrical aurora and you might find the polarity reversed and another attracted to you like a magnet…
I am in my moment now as I am moving and as of late my motivation to run out and soak in all of this city is leaving me spent. I am in transition, but things will soon change as I foster a new home in SF.
darkscribe said:
Isn't that the truth though. Zidane 1sexylady has hit the nail right on the head. You are looking way too hard. I know exactly where you are coming from because I have felt the same way myself. I'm 31 and I have yet to meet that special someone. For awhile I was going nuts because all of my friends that I had were getting married and I didn't even have a girlfriend. The problem that I had was that I was thinking way too much! you can't think about it you just have to let it happen. Then when you least expect it, there they are right in front of you. Try not to let it bother you, it'll happen
I agree with darkscribe & 1sexylady as well. We as humans have a electrical charge about us that is hidden to the eyes, but it can be felt. *We* seek confidence and strength in people—to admire or collect from. When there is a sense of our energy low, people may be able to feel that and it is not the positive energy we desire to expel. Be yourself and take care of other things in your life for the meantime and let your replenish your electrical aurora and you might find the polarity reversed and another attracted to you like a magnet…
I am in my moment now as I am moving and as of late my motivation to run out and soak in all of this city is leaving me spent. I am in transition, but things will soon change as I foster a new home in SF.
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
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An "oldies" advice
Sorry to hear you're feeling so badly, Zidane. I have had those feelings throughout most of my life, but as others have pointed out, being 19 opens up the whole world for you! You are still young enough NOT to be hindered by a commitment that might wind up stifleing you in the long run.
When I turned 40, I gave up "looking"! Less than a year later, a wonderful man came into my life, and although he wasn't my mate to be, he is still a great friend.
When I first came to LIT I still wasn't "looking", yet the love of my life was waiting for me!
You're not alone with your feelings, but don't compare yourself with others and enjoy as much freedom as you can while you can! Things will look better for you soon.
(Sitting back down in my rocking chair now!)
Sorry to hear you're feeling so badly, Zidane. I have had those feelings throughout most of my life, but as others have pointed out, being 19 opens up the whole world for you! You are still young enough NOT to be hindered by a commitment that might wind up stifleing you in the long run.
When I turned 40, I gave up "looking"! Less than a year later, a wonderful man came into my life, and although he wasn't my mate to be, he is still a great friend.
When I first came to LIT I still wasn't "looking", yet the love of my life was waiting for me!
You're not alone with your feelings, but don't compare yourself with others and enjoy as much freedom as you can while you can! Things will look better for you soon.
(Sitting back down in my rocking chair now!)
JennyOmanHill
trying hard to be mindful
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Zidane said:
It is sometimes impossible to SEE how things could be different. Just close your eyes, relax and try to get your mind on something else for a few days. Like 1sexylady mentioned, you might be too close to see clearly at this stage.
All the best, and hang in there!
G
Guest
Guest
Sorry you feel the way you do...I'm 21 divorced with a son.......I'm sitting in the same boat....I just want to give up........to many people are into superfical crap such as looks......I do feel however that there has to be some kind of attraction .......anyways.....I gave up looking...........not worth it ....i've got a wonderful son who i know will always be one man that loves me unconditionally.......just give it time ......you'll find someone......
Melissa
Melissa
G
Guest
Guest
Get over it!
Y'know, Zidane...
While I feel for your pain, I can only go so far. It's YOU who needs to pick it up! Stop feeling this pity for yourself. You say you're looking for this "ideal" in a relationship, but you sure as heck aren't exactly making yourself all that attractive by wallowing in self pity.
People are here offering their support and you tell them "But I just can't possibly see how."??? At least thank them for the support! You say you have loving friends and family- a wonderful attribute; but why not focus on those things as opposed to the fear of rejection and humiliation??? You have all this "way too much free time" on your hands... well why not devote it to yourself?? Quit looking for it in other people. Take care of Numero Uno first and then that significant other will appreciate it that much more. You claim that you might have homosexual leanings?? Well, who's to say a gay man wants someone with low self esteem??
Even your signature belies of your lack of self esteem- "btw, I am a male, not a female. Don't want to be mistaken for one from now on!". While some people might have assumed you were a female, it doesn't help in the fact that you now acknowledge someone else's mistakes about you. Why let someone else's social faux pas haunt you?? Overcome it, willya?? Truly intelligent people won't assume your sexual identity unless you want them to see something.
Why advertise your inadequacies? We all have our warts and things none of us are proud of, but we strive to project our good things in order to attract other people. And if those people REALLY care for us, they overlook those warts as the relationship develops. Quit thrusting your warts out! Would you date someone who wallowed in their own self pity??
Again I applaud all the good people in here for lending support to you, but it is YOU that needs to make these changes. You have dominion over your life. Seek the counselling that you need to overcome your horrid view of yourself. I don't mean to be harsh, but I feel as though someone needs to hold up an honest mirror to you so you can see that you're wallowing in self doubt & pity. Each one of these folks who've offered you support have told you of their accomplishments and hope for you. Don't squander their well wishes and good intentions.
Y'know, Zidane...
While I feel for your pain, I can only go so far. It's YOU who needs to pick it up! Stop feeling this pity for yourself. You say you're looking for this "ideal" in a relationship, but you sure as heck aren't exactly making yourself all that attractive by wallowing in self pity.
People are here offering their support and you tell them "But I just can't possibly see how."??? At least thank them for the support! You say you have loving friends and family- a wonderful attribute; but why not focus on those things as opposed to the fear of rejection and humiliation??? You have all this "way too much free time" on your hands... well why not devote it to yourself?? Quit looking for it in other people. Take care of Numero Uno first and then that significant other will appreciate it that much more. You claim that you might have homosexual leanings?? Well, who's to say a gay man wants someone with low self esteem??
Even your signature belies of your lack of self esteem- "btw, I am a male, not a female. Don't want to be mistaken for one from now on!". While some people might have assumed you were a female, it doesn't help in the fact that you now acknowledge someone else's mistakes about you. Why let someone else's social faux pas haunt you?? Overcome it, willya?? Truly intelligent people won't assume your sexual identity unless you want them to see something.
Why advertise your inadequacies? We all have our warts and things none of us are proud of, but we strive to project our good things in order to attract other people. And if those people REALLY care for us, they overlook those warts as the relationship develops. Quit thrusting your warts out! Would you date someone who wallowed in their own self pity??
Again I applaud all the good people in here for lending support to you, but it is YOU that needs to make these changes. You have dominion over your life. Seek the counselling that you need to overcome your horrid view of yourself. I don't mean to be harsh, but I feel as though someone needs to hold up an honest mirror to you so you can see that you're wallowing in self doubt & pity. Each one of these folks who've offered you support have told you of their accomplishments and hope for you. Don't squander their well wishes and good intentions.
on_the_verge
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Re: I also agree with honestjohn.............
But I do make *love* to myself…almost everyday!
1sexylady said:You will never find love if you can't start with yourself.....
1sexylady.......
But I do make *love* to myself…almost everyday!
G
Guest
Guest
Thanks for agreeing with me 1sexylady.
Your name reinforces exactly what I'm talking about. Your choice of a name automatically says that you consider yourself one sexy lady. Regardless of what anyone else thinks of your beauty (physical or otherwise), you already know you're sexy. So listen up Zidane! Take note of how everyone else is already perceiving her as opposed to you ("Oh poor me!).
Your name reinforces exactly what I'm talking about. Your choice of a name automatically says that you consider yourself one sexy lady. Regardless of what anyone else thinks of your beauty (physical or otherwise), you already know you're sexy. So listen up Zidane! Take note of how everyone else is already perceiving her as opposed to you ("Oh poor me!).
1sexylady
Queen Braticia..........
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Originally posted by honestjohn
Thanks for agreeing with me 1sexylady.
Your name reinforces exactly what I'm talking about. Your choice of a name automatically says that you consider yourself one sexy lady. Regardless of what anyone else thinks of your beauty (physical or otherwise), you already know you're sexy. So listen up Zidane! Take note of how everyone else is already perceiving her as opposed to you ("Oh poor me!).
Thank you
1sexylady......
Thanks for agreeing with me 1sexylady.
Your name reinforces exactly what I'm talking about. Your choice of a name automatically says that you consider yourself one sexy lady. Regardless of what anyone else thinks of your beauty (physical or otherwise), you already know you're sexy. So listen up Zidane! Take note of how everyone else is already perceiving her as opposed to you ("Oh poor me!).
Thank you
1sexylady......
llee69
First Furball of Lit
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I agreee too! go do somthing taht makes you smile. then do it again to smile more!
Also it is that time of the year too. The sun isnt up as much, the temps colder so its harder to go outside.
I get the seasonal blues. some years I go on an anti depresant to help, sother years it isnt as bad. so if you continue to feel this way I would suggest you talk to your doctor. A lot of depressions are caused by chemical changes in our bodies. That is when Prozak and the like help out.
Also go download Monty Python's The Bright SIde Of Life. Great song!
Also it is that time of the year too. The sun isnt up as much, the temps colder so its harder to go outside.
I get the seasonal blues. some years I go on an anti depresant to help, sother years it isnt as bad. so if you continue to feel this way I would suggest you talk to your doctor. A lot of depressions are caused by chemical changes in our bodies. That is when Prozak and the like help out.
Also go download Monty Python's The Bright SIde Of Life. Great song!
redblooded
Really Experienced
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Zidane
If you can afford it take a holiday - get away. Doesn't ahve to be oveersea's - but that might be better. Go experience life somewhere where you (and othere's) don't have expectations.
Take an adventure - like Llee69, it will take your mind off it.
Good Luck]
Red
If you can afford it take a holiday - get away. Doesn't ahve to be oveersea's - but that might be better. Go experience life somewhere where you (and othere's) don't have expectations.
Take an adventure - like Llee69, it will take your mind off it.
Good Luck]
Red
G
Guest
Guest
Nice idea redblooded, but change of geography is no change of attitude. I agree with honestjohn & 1sexylady. It has to start from within.
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