LMAO!! Classified ad, and the whole Venus and Mars thing.

[Wildcard Ky]

A friend sent me a copy of a classified ad for a motorcycle today. Here's the text:

For Sale

2006 Suzuki GSXR1000

This bike is perfect. It has 1.000 original miles, and has had the 500 mile service done to it. It's always been adult ridden, and both wheels have always been kept on the ground. I've used it as a cruiser/commuter.

Reason for selling is that I purchased it without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently, "Do whatever the f*** you want" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

 

[TheDivineMsM]

A friend sent me a copy of a classified ad for a motorcycle today. Here's the text:

For Sale

2006 Suzuki GSXR1000

This bike is perfect. It has 1.000 original miles, and has had the 500 mile service done to it. It's always been adult ridden, and both wheels have always been kept on the ground. I've used it as a cruiser/commuter.

Reason for selling is that I purchased it without proper consent of a loving wife. Apparently, "Do whatever the f*** you want" doesn't mean what I thought it did.

Fucking funny, GSXR...nice bike too, shame, women can be such bitches

 

[MagicaPractica]

LOL... Now, where is that bike for sale?

 

[SeaCat]

LOL

Every now and then you hear about deals like this. I can only wonder why I never see it?

My favorite is still the man who saw an advert for a one year old Rolls' for $1,000. He calls thinking it's a typo and finds out the offer is true. He drives over and checks out the ca only to find it in perfect condition. Amazed he pays the money then asks the burning question. Why was she selling this car for so little. She replies by saying that she had caught her husband playing with a younger woman. The divorce agreement stated that he would receive the money's raised by the sale of his effects.

Cat

 

[oggbashan]

Bargain car

Back in the early 1970s an old car fanatic, I'll call him Roy - that isn't his name - in East Sussex had a phone call from his bank manager, a personal friend.

The bank was dealing with a will. They had sold the deceased's house but the purchaser wanted all the effects removed and the house etc. empty. They had contacted a local dealer that they had used before. He had cleared everything and sent a cheque to the estate for the value of the goods less the cost of removal and disposal of unsaleable items. However he couldn't clear the garage. Two trees had grown in front of the hinged doors. He could see a car inside, covered in dust sheets, but he couldn't open the garage and anyway cars weren't his trade.

Would Roy buy and remove the car and any other garage contents by the beginning of next week? Roy thought that the car was probably a wreck from the 1950s but there might be some useful spares. There would be hours of work but it was worth a gamble. He offered twenty-five pounds. The bank manager accepted that as a contract. Whatever happened, the car fanatic owned the contents of the garage, IF it was cleared by the following Monday. If not, the house sale might fall through. That was unlikely but could cost the estate thousands of pounds.

Roy worked for his own agricultural supplies company. His staff could cover his absence for a couple of days. He telephoned a friend and they arranged to go to the garage that evening after work. When they arrived it was getting dark. The garage doors had windows about seven feet up. Standing on some loose bricks and peering with a torch they confirmed that there was indeed a large car-shaped lump in the large garage. The two trees were mature with trunks of a foot diameter at least and would make a significant obstacle but with equipment borrowed from one of his farmer customers they should be able to remove the trees and meet the deadline.

The next day they cut down the smaller tree and managed to drag one garage door open. They lifted the dustsheet carefully. Underneath was an early 1930s Packard Eight convertible. The bodywork was covered in a thick layer of old grease. The leather upholstery had been covered in saddle soap and left with a thick film. The tyres were wrapped in tarpaper and the whole car was standing on wooden blocks.

They cut down the other tree and removed it. They had to grind the stumps low enough to open the doors fully. They pumped up the tyres and with a heavy duty hydraulic jack lowered the car from the wooden blocks. The wheels turned as they dragged the Packard out but the brakes didn't. They had to stop the car by throwing logs in front of the wheels.

It took Roy six months to restore the Packard to original 1930s condition. He also made some local enquiries. The car had been bought by the father of the old lady who had died. Some few years afterwards he had a stroke and couldn't drive so he gave the car to his son-in-law. His son-in-law, a regular officer, was killed in WWII, but before he went to war he had arranged for the car to be prepared for long term storage. During the war a local man had oiled moving parts and had turned the engine over with the starting handle every month. That had continued until about 1950 when the widow had decided that it wasn’t worth continuing for such an old car.

I saw the car in the late 1970s. It was on display at an old car event, together with a board showing the details of its recovery including copies of the local newspaper reports. Although the car had only cost twenty-five pounds and the labour to remove it, the restoration to running condition had been expensive because brake and clutch parts had rusted or seized. The bodywork and upholstery had just needed a clean and polish to be as new.

Was it a bargain? Yes, maybe but it cost Roy at least a thousand pounds to restore the Packard to roadworthy order.

Og

 

[TheeGoatPig]

Was it a bargain? Yes, maybe but it cost Roy at least a thousand pounds to restore the Packard to roadworthy order.

Og

That's still cheap, even for 1970s prices though. Especially for a Packard, that now probably costs a good 50,000 to 100,000 pounds (guessing as I am) at auction.

 

[oggbashan]

That's still cheap, even for 1970s prices though. Especially for a Packard, that now probably costs a good 50,000 to 100,000 pounds (guessing as I am) at auction.

I'm not sure that UK prices are that high.

This is a similar model....

Og

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I'm not sure that UK prices are that high.

This is a similar model....

Og

There are auctions that I see on TV where people would pay through the teeth for that car.

Of course, I don't know if I would sell it. I like that car

 

[oggbashan]

Packard memories

When I moved to my present town, about 30 years ago, I wanted to put some things in our massive loft for storage.

I went to our local auction rooms. After a couple of weeks with nothing suitable, seven cabin trunks were entered as seven consecutive lots. The trunks were piled one on top of the other and some were locked with no keys. I bid the minimum three pounds for the first trunk. No one bid against me. The auctioneer asked if anyone wanted to bid on ANY of the trunks. No one did so he offered the other six to me for fifteen pounds, a three pound discount. I wanted three trunks but I had been prepared to pay five pounds for each so seven trunks for eighteen pounds was OK.

I had to remove the lots within 24 hours. The first three were easy. They were empty. The next three were full - of books - and locked. I managed to pick the locks, extract the books and then move the trunks.

The last one was larger than the others and had something in it but it wasn't heavy. The keys were attached to the handle but I decided to take it home before exploring the contents. Unfortunately I found that it was too large to go through the hatch into my loft.

The contents were a complete set of civilian dress suits, monkey jacket, tailed jacket, braided trousers, stiff shirts, collars etc.. Papers inside gave the owner's name. I found out that he had been a fighter pilot in WWI and remained in the RAF, retiring to the Reserve in the 1930s. In 1938 he had been recalled from Reserve and sent to Washington to buy aircraft and aircraft parts and he was formally attached to the British Embassy in Washington, apparently as a civil servant although actually serving in the RAF. As part of the Embassy staff he had attended many formal functions in Washington, hence the dress suits.

After Pearl Harbor he changed into his RAF uniform and packed his civilian clothes away, never to use them again because shortly after the war he retired again and cultivated his garden.

I thought that the suits might be useful to someone, particularly in view of their detailed provenance and eventually I gave the lot to our County's Museum service. They were no use to me. His chest measurement was 28 inches. WWI fighter pilots had to be small and light.

The large trunk had a small metal label, I think reading "Packard Car Inc.". It was the outside trunk to fit on a mid 1930s Packard's trunk rack. I found a car club that covered pre-war American Cars and offered it to them. They found a Packard owner and he took the trunk. I charged him three pounds. It fitted exactly on to the trunk rack of his car.

He was happy. I was happy. The other six trunks went into my loft.

Og

 

[TheDivineMsM]

While browsing for a sport bike...

I cam across this on ebay...LOL
I wonder how many of these ads are actually out there?
1996 Suzuki Katana 600 - Barely Ridden!
Vehicle Description

This is a great bike. I bought this bike right after I graduated college. I loved it. I eventually got married. As soon as my wife and I discovered we were expecting a baby, she told me she didn't want me on the bike again for my own safety. Initially, that did not deter me. Then she made me feel guilty about our son being fatherless should I have a serious accident on my bike. Her guilt trick worked. It's been in the garage ever since (that was back in 2002).

I started the bike religiously for a while hoping my wife would give in once our son got older. Just as I thought she was going to give me some slack, we found out there was another bun in the oven.

So now that my hopes for riding this bike are over, I am going to give this away for next to nothing.

This bike only as 3700 miles on it. It has been garage kept the entire time I have owned it. Make me an offer that makes sense and it's yours. Just be careful not to have children right after you buy it. Otherwise, you will be putting it back on Ebay.

Give me a buzz or shoot me an email and we'll go from there.

If You would like to buy me this bike....


http://i20.ebayimg.com/06/i/000/95/28/d80f_1.JPG

 

[SeaCat]

My father has the ultimate in ad buys of people I know.

Two years ago he saw an ad in the local paper for a yard sale near the dive shop he worked at. In it were advertised multiple items including several WWII era plaques which were hand made.

My father stopped at this yard sale on his way home from the dive shop. He wasn't particularly early, it was something like ten in the morning and the yard sale had started at eight.

When he showed up he asked the younger guy about the plaques and was shown to the back of the garage where they rested. As he looked them over the young guy told my father their history. His Grandfather, a WWII Vet had made them to commemorate his service. He then informed my father that no one had even made an offer for them so he was willing to part with the pieces of junk for two dollars each. My father agreed to this price and walked out after paying the eight dollars with the four plaques under his arm.

When he arrived home he ignored my mothers complaints about the junk he had brought into the house when he dumped the plaques on the kitchen table. She continued to complain as he moved to the tool drawer and removed a pair of wire clippers before returning to the table.

He carefully cut the wires holding the show weapons from their wooden mounts, gently setting them on the table before tossing the wood out the door into the back yard. He then picked up the first of the four mock ups, a pretend .45. He dropped the magazine then racked the slide back before removing it. He then removed the shroud over the barrel the old man had placed there. He did the same thing to the other .45 on that plaque. As for the other plaques he did much the same to their weapons.

By the end of fifteen minutes he had reveald that he had for eight dollars bought himself an M-1 Garand, two Colt 1911a1 .45's with consequative(sp) serial numbers, and a German Luger. All in mint condition.

I couldn't believe it when I hard about it, but he showed me the results of his yard saling.

Cat

 

[TheDivineMsM]

My father has the ultimate in ad buys of people I know.

Two years ago he saw an ad in the local paper for a yard sale near the dive shop he worked at. In it were advertised multiple items including several WWII era plaques which were hand made.

My father stopped at this yard sale on his way home from the dive shop. He wasn't particularly early, it was something like ten in the morning and the yard sale had started at eight.

When he showed up he asked the younger guy about the plaques and was shown to the back of the garage where they rested. As he looked them over the young guy told my father their history. His Grandfather, a WWII Vet had made them to commemorate his service. He then informed my father that no one had even made an offer for them so he was willing to part with the pieces of junk for two dollars each. My father agreed to this price and walked out after paying the eight dollars with the four plaques under his arm.

When he arrived home he ignored my mothers complaints about the junk he had brought into the house when he dumped the plaques on the kitchen table. She continued to complain as he moved to the tool drawer and removed a pair of wire clippers before returning to the table.

He carefully cut the wires holding the show weapons from their wooden mounts, gently setting them on the table before tossing the wood out the door into the back yard. He then picked up the first of the four mock ups, a pretend .45. He dropped the magazine then racked the slide back before removing it. He then removed the shroud over the barrel the old man had placed there. He did the same thing to the other .45 on that plaque. As for the other plaques he did much the same to their weapons.

By the end of fifteen minutes he had reveald that he had for eight dollars bought himself an M-1 Garand, two Colt 1911a1 .45's with consequative(sp) serial numbers, and a German Luger. All in mint condition.

I couldn't believe it when I hard about it, but he showed me the results of his yard saling.

Cat

WOW Your dad is one smart cat