Literotica Daily Soap

[Carl East]

Chain stories that have been written by several authors in threads have been done to death, but I can't recall one that was supposed to be silly. I'm going to start a story a 'SOAP' there will be affairs, accidents, murders, evil twins etc.

The idea is to have a laugh joining in with your own paragraphs, I'll give you all a starting reference ie characters you can use. Feel free to add your own, but be sure and add them to the list below. The plot can go anyway you want it too, in fact the dafter the better.

1/ Mr P Todd=The green grocer
2/ Betty=The Gossip
3/ Liz=The Slut
4/ Knobby=The Pimp
5/ Mr C Kent=The pub land lord
6/ Fred=The Drunk
7/ Pockets=He can get you anything (A Jack the Lad)
8/ Conrad=The Vicar
9/ Jane=The Vicar's wife
10 Terry=The Handyman
11 Snoop's=The village dog
12 Chilly=The village idiot
13 Alan Smith=The village bobby

That'll do for now. Right I'm going to start it off and see where we go, have fun.


LITEROTICA DAILY SOAP


The little village of LITEROTICA ON THE SEA was a quaint place where strange and wonderful things happened. The characters were colourful and everyone knew everyone else, it was a close community.

On this day Betty was doing her rounds, filling everyone in on the latest gossip.

"Yeah, that slut Liz was caught in bed last night in the vicarage," she said.

"She wasn't? What did the Vicar do?" replied Terry.

"Nothing, he was the one who discovered them."

Further down the road Fred was telling the land lord about the UFO he spotted when he left the pub the night before.

"It was probably lights from a car on the hill behind the trees, you fucking idiot," replied Mr Kent, unlocking the pub door.

"I swear, it hovered over them trees and ducked down behind the large clump of trees further up," insisted Fred.

"Listen, you couldn't even walk when you left here last night, so what makes you think you could see that far in the dark," said Mr Kent walking into the pub.

Unbeknown to both of them they were being watched from the very same trees Fred had mentioned earlier, by stumpy aliens with an enormous appendage sticking out of their chests.

"These humans will be easy to conquer, and once we rule this puny planet we will enslave them all," laughed what appeared to be the leader, although they all looked identical.

"But what of their armies, Lord Bluff," said a lackey.

"I'm not Lord bluff you dolt, I'm colonel Clamp," came the reply.

"Sorry sir, I wasn't informed you would be in command," said a cowering lackey..........


Carl

 

[Guest]

Can I be Jane's talking nipple? The right one? The one too shy to be out all the time?

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I like the idea but I'm brain dead right now.....let me think!

 

[SnoopDog]

So where is the dog ???

Snoopy

 

[Black Tulip]

.

 

[Black Tulip]

So where is the dog ???

Snoopy

Not sure this is fitting reading material for a nice, little beagle but I tried my best.

 

[Black Tulip]

In the meantime

Chilly tried to tie a rope to Snoop's, cos he really, really wanted a nice doggy of his own. Chasing the dog with a piece of roop in his hand, they both headed towards the clump of trees further up.

"Damn, that idiot. I can't bite him, he does give me bits of sausage and stuff."

The dog finally made it into the trees, sure he could lose the idiot between the bushes. Suddenly a foreign scent reached his sensitive nose.

"Sniff, sniff. What's that? Something new. Yoow."

The chasing idiot was completely forgotten as Snoop's followed the scent deeper into the trees. His pink tongue lolled from his mouth as the heady perfume made him see all kinds of willing bitches.

When he reached the source of the scent, he found lots of peculiar trunks, nothing like your old tree, but they sure were nice to stand up to.

With a happy bark Snoop's started to ride the closest trunk, rubbing his cock on the rubbery pole.

 

[Carl East]

"What should I do sir, it seems to be after my food stick," said the unfortunate alien Snoops was trying to fuck.

"Throw it a bit," replied the commander.

Just then Fred was leaving the pub, and looking up at the trees once again. He saw a dog flying over the village hall.

"So, the ufo's have dogs in them," he said, going back into the pub.

Liz was just leaving the green grocers and straightening her skirt when Snoops landed in a tray of tomatoes just outside the door. The splater sprayed Liz from head to toe.

"Ahhh...Snoops what are you doing?" she shouted in anger.

'Well, I was fucking this tree and it threw me down here,' 'oh what's the point you can't understand dog talk, forget it sister.' he barked, before running back up the hill.....

Carl

 

[SnoopDog]

Ah, you guys are great. Now I feel honored.

Snoopy, woof

 

[Carl East]

Mean while, the village Bobby (Constable Smith) was doing his rounds and spotted Liz lifting up her skirt in the middle of the street.

"Liz, you can't do that in public," he said, walking over to her.

"I'm just cleaning up the mess Snoop's made when he landed in the grocers tomatoes," she replied, showing a good expanse of leg and knicker elastic.

"Well, it's positively indecent, I can see all your particulars."

"Oh Alan, it's nothing you haven't seen many times before," replied Liz putting her skirt back down.

"Um...ah...yes quite, well carry on then."

*

The aliens had now taken up key positions around the village and were co-ordinating their attack by the numbers.

"We will subdue the females first as they never leave their domiciles, and the males will surrender to get their loved ones back," said Colonel Clamp.

"Which are the females again sir?" said a subordinate.

"The females are the ones with large bumbs sticking out of their chests, the ones that bounce around when they run," replied the Colonel.

"Ah yes, they look like they could be used as weapons," remarked the subordinate.

"There is no danger soldier, we have witnessed the males gripping these objects without any harm befalling them."

Carl

 

[Guest]

In a secluded cabin on the perimeter of the village, an eerie green light glows through grimy windows, casting an oily luminosity over Terry’s face.
“What sort of light is that, you reckon?” he asked Jane, the vicar’s wife.
“Leave it, boy and pay attention to me!” she demanded as she tied industrial strength rope around his wrists and binding him to the headboard. “Tonight is my night and I will have all your attention. I’ll be damned if I spend one more night on my knees praying with that husband of mine.”
As she began to administer to her boy toy, the door suddenly crashed open and what would appear but……..

 

[Carl East]

A Shrub, no, it was more like a tree stump. No scratch that, it was a cross between a shrub and a tree and it had a woody sticking out the middle of its chest. Whatever the fuck it was it was moving towards our hapless hero's and making the female do this really annoying screaming thing.

"GHJJDD jjjPullip," it said, which stopped Jane dead in her tracks.

"What the fuck is it, and what did it just say?" she shouted, desperatly trying to untie Terry.

The alien lifted up what looked like a stick and a green light could be seen eminating from the end. Suddenly the two humans were frozen to the spot, and the alien signaled to his commader that all was well.

The attack had begun, and in all the houses there could be heard screams of despair.

Carl

 

[Guest]

Propagate or eliminate, the purpose of this invasion seemed unclear to these slow-witted people.
The shrub/tree like creatures seemed bent on destruction of all that seemed right and good. But what seemed right and good to these people was a bit skewed.
The shrub/tree leader had the uncanny ability to make the females stand on their heads with their legs bent at odd angles. Using his stick with glowing tip, he poked at them, making them utter nonsensical sounds.
“glibbeets, phar!” they would bleat in unison. Could this be a mating call?

 

[Carl East]

While all this was happening, Liz had been cornered in her front room and was about to scream when she noticed the rather large Phalic looking instrument sticking out of the front of this, whatever it was.

"Perhaps we might negotiate," she said, reaching out both hands and stroking its limb.

The alien was confused at first, and didn't know what to do. It wasn't expecting a mating invite, and yet it could feel its shaft becoming harder. When it saw Liz taking her garments off, it thought 'Well it would be rude to not be cooperative in this situation.'

Once naked Liz moved closer making sure she never lost contact with its growing appenage. Getting up onto a stool, she teased the hardness of its member around her ever increasing wetness.

The alien pushed forward and found itself slipping into this females body. Her voice echoing throughout the room with a pleasure even the alien recognised.

"Where the fuck have you been all my life," she shouted, pulling it back out before throwing herself onto it once again.

Carl

 

[Carl East]

Across the vast expanse of space and totally unrelated to our quaint little village, an attack fleet of scorsonien rebels prepares to launch an attack on their neighbouring planet. Apparently they objected to the menu supplied during a banquet in the queens honour, spring-lackies should taste fresh not like they've been kept for months on end in a dark environment.

Of course our hero's/heroines have no idea about all this, mainly because they think they're the centre of the universe. Still, it is interesting to note that things are happening in this universe that we are unaware of.

Now back to the story at hand.

Carl

 

[Carl East]

By now the entire village is aware that they're under siege by an alien race who's goal is yet unclear. The aliens have herded our hero's/heroines into the village community centre, and the discussions are mainly on escape to warn the populace.

"Have you seen the size of there weapons?" said Liz, still remembering her pleasurable ordeal.

"Liz, could you possibly stop thinking about sex, and help us plan an escape," said Terry.

Liz poked out her tongue as Terry turned his back, and sat down to listen to the plans being unveiled.

"I think we should attempt more than one escape plan, in case the first doesn't work," said Alan.

Just then the doors flew open, and Chilly was forcefully thrown into the hall.

"Where did they catch you?" said Alan, brushing him off as he stood back up.

"I was trying to climb a tree when the fucking thing brought me here," replied Chilly.

Over in the corner Jane was talking to her husband.

"There's something I have to tell you, in case we don't get out of this?"

"Oh, and what's that?" replied Conrad.

"I'm pregnant," she said, bowing her head.

"That's wonderful dear, when did you find out?"

"Two days ago," she replied, quietly.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"It's not yours!"

Carl