Literotica chat rooms

[TheEternalBeachBum]

I suppose you are never too to ask for input, so here goes.

I’ve spent some time exploring the lit chat rooms with the hope of finding an intelligent and sexy minded female to have some online fun with; you know… the usual reason a guy might be there…

In practice, I must not seem to grasp the subtleties of it all, as I’m batting zero.

I’m assuming that I’m the issue, and now exploring how I might adapt to find success.

As a man, I’m polite, forthright and can complete a sentence properly. I have a wildly sexual imagination, as evidenced by the many highly rated Lit stories I’ve published under a diff handle.

Is this simply be a generational thing? Perhaps. While I’m past the midpoint in my life, I’m youthful in how I live and think (at least I’ve convinced myself of that…)

Al comments are welcome from either side of the gender isle. PM if you’d prefer.

 

[NightL]

Do realise you are not owed anything for "As a man, I’m polite, forthright and can complete a sentence properly." It really doesn't = instant gratification.

Trust and respect comes before mutual flirting and foreplay. Trust can take a while to develop. Don't barge through an open door and announce "I am man, sex me!"

Are you looking for this connection online because you are not achieving this in the face to face world? If that is the case maybe you need to put thought and effort into that first.

While of course there can be exceptions, building genuine friendship first usually leads to a more fulfilling experience. Friendships require mutual interest and respect, friendships require time to develop.

 

[ToPleaseHim]

When I pop on to Lit Chat, which is pretty rare, I am immediately bombarded with PMs from men. I cannot even fathom assuming that just because a woman is on Lit Chat, she wants to immediately PM with, and perhaps cyber fuck, a stranger. But it happens. Every damn time.

I used to reply with a polite response. “Thank you for the PM, but I’m not looking to private chat right now” at which point most said “okay, thanks” or just closed the message. But enough men got outright abusive at that point. “Why the fuck are you on here then?” “Tease!” “Slut!” “Bitch!” “Fuck you,” etc.

I don’t reply anymore. Entitled, abusive men ruin this for everyone.

 

[SmokingFap]

When I pop on to Lit Chat, which is pretty rare, I am immediately bombarded with PMs from men. I cannot even fathom assuming that just because a woman is on Lit Chat, she wants to immediately PM with, and perhaps cyber fuck, a stranger. But it happens. Every damn time.

I used to reply with a polite response. “Thank you for the PM, but I’m not looking to private chat right now” at which point most said “okay, thanks” or just closed the message. But enough men got outright abusive at that point. “Why the fuck are you on here then?” “Tease!” “Slut!” “Bitch!” “Fuck you,” etc.

I don’t reply anymore. Entitled, abusive men ruin this for everyone.

Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, wanna cyber fuck?

 

[ToPleaseHim]

Yeah, yeah, whatever. So, wanna cyber fuck?

You missed the opportunity for, “So, how are you going to please me?”

(Why do they think THAT is a good idea as an OPENING line to a complete stranger??)

 

[MyBee]

(Why do they think THAT is a good idea as an OPENING line to a complete stranger??)

I had one yesterday opening with his age, length, weight, cock length both hard and not, and foreskin situation....

 

[ToPleaseHim]

I had one yesterday opening with his age, length, weight, cock length both hard and not, and foreskin situation....

I just can’t fathom why they think that’s going to get them anywhere, lol. Unless the kink is just sort of an exhibitionist thing and they get off just thinking someone read the message.

 

[SmokingFap]

You missed the opportunity for, “So, how are you going to please me?”

(Why do they think THAT is a good idea as an OPENING line to a complete stranger??)

I had one yesterday opening with his age, length, weight, cock length both hard and not, and foreskin situation....

I just can’t fathom why they think that’s going to get them anywhere, lol. Unless the kink is just sort of an exhibitionist thing and they get off just thinking someone read the message.

Just point the plebes to this thread so they can maximize their game.

Thread 'Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You' https://forum.literotica.com/threads/incompetently-flirt-with-the-lister-above-you.1613831/

 

[MyBee]

Just point the plebes to this thread so they can maximize their game.

Thread 'Incompetently Flirt with the Lister Above You' https://forum.literotica.com/threads/incompetently-flirt-with-the-lister-above-you.1613831/

Oh I like that idea!
Better than me trying to politely back out of the chat, because I don't want to be rude and ignore people

 

[Britva415]

I must not seem to grasp the subtleties of it all, as I’m batting zero.

What have you been trying?

Have you been trying too hard?

I'm surprised you haven't even had any catfishers take an interest.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Oh I like that idea!
Better than me trying to politely back out of the chat, because I don't want to be rude and ignore people

It's not rude to establish boundaries and hold others accountable. Why do you have to be polite to someone who entered your space and said things like that? Some men think that what they say is okay simply because they haven't been fetched up and reminded to have manners.

 

[MyBee]

It's not rude to establish boundaries and hold others accountable. Why do you have to be polite to someone who entered your space and said things like that? Some men think that what they say is okay simply because they haven't been fetched up and reminded to have manners.

You're absolutely right! And I'm getting better at ignoring some people
When I first joined here I talked exclusively in the chat rooms, but then I discovered PMs here in the forum, and I much prefer those, easier to establish a connection.

 

[Soraya1]

It's not the fault of Lit Chat. There idiots everywhere in this world, both in real life and online. You have to either deal with them or ignore them. They're no going away. There are far, far too many of them.

 

[TomTeacher19]

Lit Chat is an interesting experience, for sure.

My experiences there make me feel like it's when Forrest Gump is trying to learn how to be a shrimp captain. You cast your net. Many, many times. Usually you get nothing. Not even replies. That just seems to be the nature of Lit Chat. Then you get disconnected. That is the other usual nature of Lit Chat. And a lot of times when you get any kind of response, you get garbage. You can all come up with your own idea if what qualifies as "garbage" but many good examples have already been shared. But if you keep trying eventually you will get a positive response and it's fun and happy and a good time. And if it's worth it, you keep fishing. Or shrimping. Not sure what the right been there is. Buts its not fish in a barrel. Basically like everything else in life of trying to connect with others.

 

[alisunderstorm]

Hey dude, I don’t know why so many people on here are going at your throat, being mean, and frankly, bullying just some guy, after you’ve asked for reasonable advice in a reasonable way. Honestly, don’t mind that fluff. There are good people out there, so ignore the people who don’t have your best interest at heart, and just want to verbally punch someone to feel better.

But yeah, my two cents below:

 

[alisunderstorm]

So, I’m someone who logs on to lit chat, around, like, once a month, to hang out, and honestly have a good time. Yeah, I have “regulars”, but if I feel like a guy is cute and compelling, I’m usually down to play for the night. We’re all on lit chat to get off, after all, right?

From my perspective, I log on and get a lot of guys text “hey.” “Sup.” or short phrases like “how r u?” and “my name is jason / 38 M California / what are your kinks?”

Like, short introductions are probably fine when I’m hanging out in real life, because you commit to a conversation via body language. But an opening without very much information, or a topic in mind, tends to get deprioritized when I have other guys in DM’s being cute n all.

 

[alisunderstorm]

What I tend to respond to, is some sort of “tailoring” to the conversation. Easiest way to do that, is to read someone’s profile and mention something that they seem proud of, or positive of.

Like, I put a lot of effort in a hot poem that lists kinks and preferences, on my profile, in a natural way. I love that shit, warms up the conversation, acts as a fun opener.

But when I get generic messages like above, I get the impression that okay- you aren’t interested in reading like a paragraph or two? I might as well hang out with the guy who does. Alternatively, when I get something in the conversation that mentions that poem, I already know that you A) Like my general personality enough to go forward B) Probably enjoy the same kinks I mentioned too, and C) can put in some effort to actually engage in understanding me, and have a two way conversation.

It shows me that I’m not just tits on a screen, but tits on a screen that matter to you, y’know?

 

[LoneMilf]

I suppose you are never too to ask for input, so here goes.

I’ve spent some time exploring the lit chat rooms with the hope of finding an intelligent and sexy minded female to have some online fun with; you know… the usual reason a guy might be there…

In practice, I must not seem to grasp the subtleties of it all, as I’m batting zero.

I’m assuming that I’m the issue, and now exploring how I might adapt to find success.

As a man, I’m polite, forthright and can complete a sentence properly. I have a wildly sexual imagination, as evidenced by the many highly rated Lit stories I’ve published under a diff handle.

Is this simply be a generational thing? Perhaps. While I’m past the midpoint in my life, I’m youthful in how I live and think (at least I’ve convinced myself of that…)

Al comments are welcome from either side of the gender isle. PM if you’d prefer.

It's a little difficult to give any advice when we don't know more. For instance:

1) Are you hoping to find someone online to immediately have online fun with? Or are you trying to build some connections with potential?
2) How do you approach the women you contact?
3) Which ones do you approach?

 

[alisunderstorm]

Past that, I’d say the best approach depends on the rooms you reach out to people from. Especially since each of them have different “cultures”

The most chaotic ones I’d say are Lobby, Family Roleplay, and Detailed Roleplay, with like, 80-200 people together. This is 100% an auction house, so when you approach someone here, you need a pitch. Depending on the room- pitching a story roleplay idea, a kink you’re into, a kink you notice on her profile, etc, does wonders to differentiate yourself. And in large rooms, yeah, differentiating yourself is absolutely what you need to do.

“hey, wanna kick off an rp? I saw that you were into bondage, and I have a few fun dungeons you could visit ”

— versus —

“sup, how are you doing”


To me, one is a lot more compelling than others, when I have 8-10 DMs I’m juggling between.

 

[alisunderstorm]

For medium sized rooms, about 8-20 people, like Hotel Bar, slave auction, bisexual sauna, breeding stalls, and blowjob cafe- well, these are role-play rooms, and the best way to attract attention is honestly to be a good host.

(if you’re into roleplay, that is: skip this section if nerds playing make belief with cum involved doesn’t interest you as much )

A lot of the time in these rooms, people are just chilling, waiting for something to happen, but a good way to get something to happen is to, well, be the thing that is happening.

Playing a bartender, a waitress, auctioneer or honestly just some guy who likes drinks and talks to a lot of people- it makes folks like me comfortable to step in. And if you’re warm and kind, confident and help create a community, then, well. Honestly that can be the best part, sex aside.

Though, steamy sex usually comes after. At least for me But I’d say bartender_curt would have something to say about the male side of running rooms. And I gotta say, he’s hot as hell.

 

[alisunderstorm]

For the smallest rooms, say 2-8 people… these are usually seed rooms and intimate affairs. Sometimes you can grow them into something fun, sometimes it’s a remnant of a party, a bunch of hungover cuties hanging oht after the orgy.

Either way- the generic advice of listening well and understanding your partner before approaching works well. I know I tend to hang out in topic rooms like Erotic Photography, or Dr’s Office, just in case someone approaches me with a roleplay with that topic.

But yeah- make sure you mention that you’re DM’ing them from the small room, else it’s hard to really tell.

 

[alisunderstorm]

Either way- the thesis of this multi post rant is that it’s often not the mouth you gotta focus on, not really about what you say. They say eyes are the sexiest of body parts, and there’s truth to that. Noticing the vibe of the room, noticing what your partner wants and likes, noticing the cute outfits they wear or jokes they make…

I play with sad guys, confident guys. Hot and sexy guys, and guys who don’t put a single lick into their appearance. Old men, young men, women and the inbetween. But the one thing that unites them all is that, for an hour of their day, they give a shit about me.

And that’s the hottest thing you can ever do.

 

[TheEternalBeachBum]

Either way- the thesis of this multi post rant is that it’s often not the mouth you gotta focus on, not really about what you say. They say eyes are the sexiest of body parts, and there’s truth to that. Noticing the vibe of the room, noticing what your partner wants and likes, noticing the cute outfits they wear or jokes they make…

I play with sad guys, confident guys. Hot and sexy guys, and guys who don’t put a single lick into their appearance. Old men, young men, women and the inbetween. But the one thing that unites them all is that, for an hour of their day, they give a shit about me.

And that’s the hottest thing you can ever do.

alis,

its been a while since I posted this, and am just now getting back to read all the commentary. As I guessed, the feedback runs the gammot; but I appreciate your informative and well thought out tutorial; or thesis as you've termed it. Great input that reinforces much of what I suspected. There's a number of takeaways for me in all of this.

Thanks for taking the time!!

 

[Misty_Arias]

Find a room that interests you and just go for it! Read profiles and they will give you a hint about what the person is looking for on there. Sometimes I am horny as hell and just want to bypass the niceties and get to it. I had a message that said “I’m horny and erect. Wanna chat?” It was straight to the point and I liked it. Not speaking for everyone. Some ladies are on here to build connections. I am not.

 

[LR42]

As everyone has said, read profiles. I have been on and off the chat rooms for years, and wasted many hours.

You have to keep in mind that there are a lot of guys pretending to be girls, which in fact isn't a problem if its all fantasy anyway, you don't need to know.

Don't jump straight in, read the profile, as something interesting in an opening message that shows you have more to you than 95% of the other guys on there.

I am told most opening messages are simply things like "hey" or "how are you" or "fancy a fuck?".....and then you'll get no response.

don't be pushy too, or take things personally. Many women on their are having to bat away multiple message invites at a time, and you may be caught in the rest. If someone doesn't reply or doesn't want to chat, respect it and leave them be.

Accept that people will just go sometimes, and the site is glitchy, so it isn't always their fault. I have been booted before and unable to get in mid chat. As far as the other person is concerned, they will have thought I just left.

RElax, don't take it all too seriously.