linking to an article outside lit

[lc69hunter]

There was an interesting article in Vox about how Americans (kind of uniquely it seems) treat infidelity as one of the worst moral lapses there is. It speaks directly to the mob currently residing in the Loving Wives cesspool.

https://www.yahoo.com/news/articles/uniquely-american-panic-over-adultery-100000789.html

As many of you know, from my comments and stories, I take a much more relaxed attitude toward it.

 

[TheLobster]

uniquely

The article cites survey data which includes US next to western Europe, which is hardly the entire world. Venture a little bit outside, even while remaining within the realm of developed countries, and I suspect attitudes would be similar to or even harsher than in the US.

 

[lc69hunter]

The article cites survey data which includes US next to western Europe, which is hardly the entire world. Venture a little bit outside, even while remaining within the realm of developed countries, and I suspect attitudes would be similar to or even harsher than in the US.

But in the rest of the world, including the US, men get more of a free pass. Women don't. Women are expected to control their desires, supposedly if they have them, while men are too weak to control theirs, so theirs are overlooked.

 

[Five_Inch_Heels]

Here you go: https://forum.literotica.com/forums/politics-board.67/

 

[lc69hunter]

Here you go: https://forum.literotica.com/forums/politics-board.67/

This has nothing to do with politics

 

[Lifestyle66]

I have a very relaxed attitude toward non-monogamy, as you can tell from my writings.

But having grown up in a different era in the U.S., I can guess why there's such a strict hatred of cheaters in the U.S.

When I was young, my aunt's husband left her and their four kids, and my aunt was on welfare (state financial assistance) for the rest of her life. Also a close friend of mine lived in a trailer, while his father worked TWO jobs both of which paid well. But that family never seemed to have much money and could never afford a better house. My friend found out much later in life his father was working to support him and his mother AND his mistress with her out-of-wedlock child.

In the U.S., working class people tend to dislike those on public assistance (as with my aunt and her kids). So, it seems to me those judgmental people would hate cheaters for potentially putting unwed mothers in such a situation as depending on taxpayer assistance. If my friend's father stopped paying his mistress, she would also have been on welfare. And his legal wife had to hate that situation of her husband's mistress taking half of his earnings!

EDIT: Also back in that era, most men wouldn't marry a woman who had children by another man. Another friend of mine grew up living with his grandparents and he couldn't visit his real mother who live nearby whenever her second husband was at home. Her first child was not welcome in that man's house.

 

[Bramblethorn]

Interesting article but it's weird that it treats the terms "cheating", "infidelity" and "adultery" as synonymous even after acknowledging that consensually nonmonogamous relationships exist. It's not "cheating" when everybody's following the rules they agreed on!

I was surprised to see the article relying heavily on "Paul Keable, the chief strategy officer at Ashley Madison and an expert on the subject of contemporary adultery". One of the things that came out in the AM hack was that they were intentionally defrauding their customers: creating fake female accounts in order to encourage men to keep paying to talk to those women, and charging customers for a "permanent deletion" service which didn't actually delete their data. (They also charged people who had never signed up for the site, if they wanted to delete an account that had been accidentally or maliciously created for their address by somebody else.) And they have an interest in normalising adultery and talking up how often it happens. One might not feel much sympathy for the guys who signed up for AM, but why would anybody treat an Ashley Madison exec as credible?

Also, the Coldplay schadenfreude-fest was by no means limited to the USA.

 

[SimonDoom]

In the U.S., working class people tend to dislike those on public assistance (as with my aunt and her kids). So, it seems to me those judgmental people would hate cheaters for potentially putting unwed mothers in such a situation as depending on taxpayer assistance. If my friend's father stopped paying his mistress, she would also have been on welfare. And his legal wife had to hate that situation of her husband's mistress taking half of his earnings!

This, and the differences in religiosity, might account for the different attitudes in the USA and Europe. Europe has a more generous social safety net, and a woman whose husband leaves her for another woman might be less likely to be left destitute. Plus, the USA is much, much more religious than most European countries.

I imagine if you compared the US attitudes toward infidelity with those of the Muslim world you'd find they are no more relaxed about it

 

[SimonDoom]

Interesting article but it's weird that it treats the terms "cheating", "infidelity" and "adultery" as synonymous even after acknowledging that consensually nonmonogamous relationships exist. It's not "cheating" when everybody's following the rules they agreed on!

I suspect that in the USA there are many people who don't distinguish these things because they are not even aware that such a thing as consensual non-monogamy exists. I'm sure for many it's inconceivable. They lump it all together because that's all they know.

 

[Bramblethorn]

I suspect that in the USA there are many people who don't distinguish these things because they are not even aware that such a thing as consensual non-monogamy exists. I'm sure for many it's inconceivable. They lump it all together because that's all they know.

Sure, but this article specifically acknowledges the existence of CNM.

 

[SimonDoom]

Sure, but this article specifically acknowledges the existence of CNM.

Yes, but it wasn't completely clear to me if the sets of people being polled were clear on the distinctions.