Lightbulb Jokes

[Dillinger]

How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb?

One...men will screw anything.

 

[Dillinger]

Q: How many programmers does it take to change a lightbulb?

A: NONE! That's a hardware problem....

 

[Dillinger]

Q: How many nuclear engineers does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven. One to install the new bulb and six to figure out what to do with the old one for the next 10,000 years.

 

[Dillinger]

Q: How many Christian Scientists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: None, but it takes at least one to sit and pray for the old one to go back on.

 

[Dillinger]

Q: How many Zen masters does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: A tree in a golden forest.

A': Two: one to change the bulb and one not to change it.

A'': One to change and one not to change is fake Zen. The true Zen answer is Four.

A''':None. Zen masters carry their own light.

 

[Dillinger]

Q: How many folk singers does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two. One to change the bulb, and one to write a song about how good the old light bulb was.

 

[Dillinger]

Q: What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?

A: You can unscrew a light bulb.

 

[Dillinger]

Another take on the surrealist one

Q: How many surrealists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Two, one to hold the giraffe, and the other to fill the bathtub with brightly colored machine tools.

 

[Dillinger]

Q: How many existentialists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two: One to screw it in and one to observe how the light bulb itself symbolizes a single incandescent beacon of subjective reality in a netherworld of endless absurdity reaching out toward a maudlin cosmos of nothingness.

 

[Dillinger]

Q: How many dadaists does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: To get to the other side.

 

[Dillinger]

Q: How many teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?

A: "Twelve. Ya got a problem with that?''

 

[Dillinger]

Q: How many Illuminati does it take to change a light bulb?

A: None. It has to wait for enlightenment.

 

[Dillinger]

Q: How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Only one, but it has to want to change first.

 

[Dillinger]

Another California One

Q: How many Californians does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Seven. One to change the bulb and six to share the experience.

 

[MechaBlade]

Re: here is one for marxist

Q: How many Marxists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: None. The light bulb's own internal contradictions will inevitably lead to revolution.

LOL! (as someone who has read the Communist Manifesto somewhat recently)

I don't get the "share the experience" one.

 

[APhil]

Q: How many idiots does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Never mind, they'd probably stick their finger in the socket first.