Life's Too Short...

[yui]

It's when you arrange for chickie to fall asleep with your cock in her mouth. It's a wonderful think to constantly wake up to.

I'm assuming alcohol or an extreme oral fetish is involved somehow.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I think I'd be worried about dreams in which she imagines she's eating Polish sausages.

The hazard... is part of the fun.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

I'm assuming alcohol or an extreme oral fetish is involved somehow.

Yes.

Oh, snap, yes.

 

[BlackShanglan]

The hazard... is part of the fun.

It's all fun and games until someone loses his genitalia.

Cat in the Cradle
No Room at the Inn
The Hitchiker
The Intruder
Jawminator
Cottonmouth
The Crab
The Humpty-Rumpty
Covert Ops
Wallbang
etc.

Posting soon in the "How To" section?

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Oh, heavens no. Why, that would be lewd.

 

[yui]

It's all fun and games until someone loses his genitalia.

Now there is a movie quote.



I've got to ask, Joe, even though I know I might go to hell for knowing, but what's "The Crab"?

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Now there is a movie quote.



I've got to ask, Joe, even though I know I might go to hell for knowing, but what's "The Crab"?

Have I told you lately that I sometimes think about doing truly sinful things to you... you got that AV, I'm sure I'm just part of the fan-club in that regard.

But... the Crab.

Here we go:

You sit with your back to a wall, tuck a pillow or blanket to get comfy. Have her sit between your legs and lean back against you. Then you hook your right leg around her right leg and your left leg around her left leg, and you lock her elbows above her head with one hand...

She's caught.

Can't move, can't struggle, can't do anything.

And you have one hand free.

So you tuck your head by her ear and whisper the most notorious and erotic things you can think of (tell a fantasy, talk about how much you like what you're doing, whatever.. just keep talking, do not stop talking to her) while you slide your hand down and play with her pussy until she just can't take it anymore.

 

[BlackShanglan]

I prefer the Kama Sutra crab, which is a tricky but very pleasant and unusual experience.

 

[yui]

Have I told you lately that I sometimes think about doing truly sinful things to you... you got that AV, I'm sure I'm just part of the fan-club in that regard.

But... the Crab.

Here we go:

You sit with your back to a wall, tuck a pillow or blanket to get comfy. Have her sit between your legs and lean back against you. Then you hook your right leg around her right leg and your left leg around her left leg, and you lock her elbows above her head with one hand...

She's caught.

Can't move, can't struggle, can't do anything.

And you have one hand free.

So you tuck your head by her ear and whisper the most notorious and erotic things you can think of (tell a fantasy, talk about how much you like what you're doing, whatever.. just keep talking, do not stop talking to her) while you slide your hand down and play with her pussy until she just can't take it anymore.

Oh. Okay. Wow. I can see how that would be a moving experience. Helpless. At someone's mercy. And no, you've never told me you would like to do sinful things to me. Much less, truly sinful...

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

Oh. Okay. Wow. I can see how that would be a moving experience. Helpless. At someone's mercy. And no, you've never told me you would like to do sinful things to me. Much less, truly sinful...

I wouldn't trust him... he looks shifty.

 

[yui]

I wouldn't trust him... he looks shifty.

Right. No trust. Shifty. Got it.

 

[LadyJeanne]

My God, you do leave the earth scorched behind you. But then, what else was likely to compare, eh?

You're too kind, dearest!



I wish him well, really I do. I've no idea what kind of karma kicked him in the ass, but if that was the result of all the poking and prodding, Joe, take note.

 

[Joe Wordsworth]

You're too kind, dearest!



I wish him well, really I do. I've no idea what kind of karma kicked him in the ass, but if that was the result of all the poking and prodding, Joe, take note.

Poking and prodding is a two way street... the poker and the poked, the prodder and the prodded.

Some women like being poked and prodded.

 

[cloudy]

Joe, you are very cute when you're drubnk.

 

[English Lady]

Count me in as a prod liker..well except for certain times when I just want to be asleep...then I just ignore it *LOL*

Joe the crab sounds delightful...are you going to be sharing the rest? Covert ops sounds intriguing to me...

And I do salute you for your ability to type straight and make sentances work even when drunk!

Go Joe!

 

[NoJo]

Life's too short...

Not only is it too short, it insists on wearing hooped tee shirts, which make it look even shorter.

 

[impressive]

Ever have a chick that was completely and utterly turned off with the, "Oops! Morning wood," game and yawned as she maneuvered her thighs just so, allowing you to think you had the All-ahead-clear, only to have her clamp her thighs down around your cock and tense her muscles before curling into a ball - hence, dragging you bodily after your poor captured member as it moved away from your body much too far and much too quickly?

I invented that move. Me. I was the first to realize that when a man wanted sex he was going to try for it no matter how many times he'd been told not to pussy-foot around with poking me in the back.



My ex-husband wishes you'd have perfected the move or never invented it at all.

This assumes said man's dick is long enough to be so trapped. Some would not have a damned thing to worry about.

 

[Guest]

Joe, you are very cute when you're drubnk.

Isn't he priceless?

Somehow that Joseph arrogance is even more so in his inebriated condition.

 

[cloudy]

Isn't he priceless?

Somehow that Joseph arrogance is even more so in his inebriated condition.

But the arrogance when he's drubnk is absolutely precious....unlike when he's sober.

 

[English Lady]

And I missed it. See I've got to become an insomniac.

I would have loved to have taken advantage of a drunk Joe

 

[Guest]

Not only is it too short, it insists on wearing hooped tee shirts, which make it look even shorter.

Yes, I am stalking you, and I really don't care.

I'd like to see two drunk Joes. In fact, I'd pay to see that. I'd even serve the drinks.