life on the net

[Guest]

so i've seriously cut down my net time. i used to live here. not just lit but several sites. include email and myspace and chatting which i didnt do so much cause ive got the attention span of a fly.

i used to log on before i did anything else in the morning. spend hours surfing when i couldve been out walkign the dog or playing with the kids. i'm not saying it was wrong cause its what i needed.

but the friendships and bonds and stuff that i created online are still part of my life and i haven't thrown it out

guess i just needed time out for other stuff. and then i started traveling a lot with work and that took away online time too.

these days if i'm online for an hour a day its a lot and it's not about networking or catching up with friends etc.

i guess i always thought i'd be doing this forever. spending my days with people on the other side of a computer screen. but i've changed and it's not enough for me. or maybe it was too much??

anyway. i guess what i'm trying to say is that the net is not such an addiction or constant in my life that i cant live without it. although i thought it was.

how bout you? can you live without it? do you get withdrawal? how bout the relationships you've built up on the net? are they important? did they move into rl?

how much of your life do you live on the net?

talk to me!!

 

[Vermilion]

The net is my lifeline. My health problems restrict my life and my movements, more so at some times than others, and the internet has been an entertainment, a release, a way to stay in touch with old friends and to meet new ones. When I am feeling good and my life gets busy I can walk away from the internet easily, just popping back to check for important e-mails. When I am feeling ill and my internet gets taken away from me (dead laptop, dead broadband etc) it almost feels like a physical pain. Being online expands my four walls to the size of the planet and stop me feeling trapped. The internet saves my sanity when I need it.

x
V

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The net is like having everything in one spot.

I work out of my home. So I can do my work, gossip with friends, shop on-line, do research for my clients, harass LIT posters, etc.

Before the net came along I had to get in my car and drive hundreds of miles to do many of the same activities. Or spend tons of money on long distance.

Micro computers created the wealth of the 80s. the internet fueled the wealth of the 90s.

 

[impressive]

In the mid 90s, new in town with a medically frail 2-year-old and a newborn, the 'Net was a sanity saver. I was damned near a 32-year-old shut-in. Going out with both babies (one on oxygen & with heart monitor) took more energy than I possessed. My own health was sliding, too, so my pain got stronger every day. Add to that the fact that I'm an introvert, and the 'Net was an ideal way to connect when I felt like it -- and withdraw when it got overwhelming or draining.

These days, I'm no longer a shut-in & my health is better than it's been in my adult life, but I still prefer to work from home with the 'Net as my office. Office environments just make me tense. I have to have an escape hatch from... people.

Socially, I would prefer more face time with loved ones, and that's where the 'Net conspires against me -- because I meet wonderful people who live in distant places. If I've gotta be online to share time with them, so be it. Right now, there's no one in my vicinity in my day-to-day offline life that appeals to me more.

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Got along without the net before--could do so again.

Now getting along w/o the AH Angels, that's another story.

Rumple Foreskin

 

[English Lady]

I don't miss the internet when I am on holiday but I do miss my friends that I only contact via email and lit and suchlike.

 

[McKenna]

There was a time when I was pretty much addicted. But like you, Fem, it's what I needed at the time.

Now? Meh. Feels like I could take it or leave it. I leave my laptop at home these days when I'm traveling, when before it was the first thing I packed.

I rarely chat these days, so hardly turn my messenger programs on.

Like EL, however, I do have a friend or two that I only contact via email or MySpace or such. I miss them when I'm away too long.

Sometimes I think I log on to Lit and other sites out of habit more than anything.

 

[rgraham666]

It's my lifeline.

An odd person such as myself, who is rather a curmudgeon who doesn't care much for most individuals of my species, doesn't make many friends in the real world.

The net makes it a lot easier to meet people who I like and who like me.

I do sometimes wish I could walk down the street and enjoy coffee with some people here, but I'll take what I can get.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I'm mostly on the net when at work. I am there when I am at home and trying to avoid the family, or looking for porn, but I prefer to socialise with real people instead of internet people. I would give up life on the PC for life with real people. I would miss quite a few of you after a while (a couple of days ), but I know that I could live without it for the rest of my life if need be.

I'm not addicted or anything. I could quit at any time! Really!

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

I've been a computer geek since my older brother brought home a TRS-80. Computers, the internet, digital living is easier for me than meat space. Not that I don't have friends and family or go out and do things. There's just comfort factor on-line.

From a psychological stand point I would probably be classified as addicted. When I go on vacation or holiday I take a laptop with me. Even if just to play Freecell, its a security blanket, a way for me to maintain control.

 

[Katyusha]

When it comes to the 'net I'm a fairly typical X'er. I use it for just about everything...even my family all stays connected better through email than we ever did by phone or visits. Would I die if my access was cut off? No. When I'm super-busy or on vacation I'll be fine without checking my email for a few days. But for the most part, while I wouldn't say I LIVE here, it is a big part of my life.

 

[damppanties]

I think it's phases. I have times when I'm addicted, and then times when I walk away for weeks, even months. It's just what's happening (or not happening) in rl I suppose. I'm an introvert and not really good with meeting people, so the net works for me.

I miss some of the friends I've made on Lit and in other places on the net when I'm away too long though, but I can always talk to them on the phone if it gets too bad. Relationships I've made on the net are some of the most important ones in my life.

 

[LoquaciousLady]

Addiction? No, I'm just as happy to leave my lappy behind on vacation or when other stuff is going on in the "real" world that needs my attention.

But yes, I spend a fair bit of time online. I'm a housewife with a house that's empty all day in a physically and emotionally isolated area. My online friends are about the only social interaction I get with non-family members.

I've been on the 'net in various forms for nearly 18 years out of my 30 on the planet. Currently I run two internet communities and actively participate in two others including Lit. I also keep three websites for organisations I'm a part of up-to-date and have two blogs that I update at least semi-regularly. Like Katyusha, the 'net is just another part of my normal day-to-day life.

But even with all that I manage to run and manage the household, tend the livestock, and find time for the few "real life" social groups that I'm a part of, keep up with my writing, plus spend time with my kids and husband.

I go through periods where my internet use is hot and heavy but if I look around and notice that my life is being neglected I make the effort to cut down my online time.

 

[inlovewithyourghost]

I much prefer to socially interact with people face to face. If I meet someone online that I really trust, admire, or can just plain have fun and laugh with, it usually isn't long before I wind up meeting them in person. I've met a few friends in real life that I've met online first, with good experiences, and I was glad to do so. It's actually quite difficult for me to maintain any sort of friendship/relationship online. And if I do, it is because I have no other choice. In my current situation, it is a little bit easier for me. But that's because I've spent much more time online in the last year and a half due to my work schedule. When that changes, so will the amount of time I spend online... and I imagine, for the most part, it won't bother me a bit.

ETA: For me, this is due mainly to an issue of my inability to efficiently communicate, as I depend largely on body language when I'm conversing with someone.

 

[jomar]

Addict these days. But it comes and goes depending...

 

[christabelll]

just like smoking......... been at it since the BBC's...
Fits and spurts - but pretty solid...
I have met and have formed friendships with people on line... some which will last a lifetime...
I could live without the internet... But I wouldnt want too... Libraries are nice but it takes weeks to find what I want sometimes LOLOL....

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I would not have met the world if it wasn't for this.

 

[MagicaPractica]

This past year it was a lifeline for me. Through bad times at a bad job and rough times when I was doing some serious emotional growth, the people here supported me. The net is still important to me and I love the people I've met here but, oddly enough, it has led me to spending more time with people off of it.

 

[Belegon]

The net made it so I could meet people who didn't think I was a pestilence...

Could I live without it? Of course, I did before. But it would be a duller life, and why would I do that to myself deliberately?

 

[_Lynn_]

I often turn off messenger, stop checking any site I normally would go to, and take time for myself.
The net has given me the opportunity to improve my writing with the help of a few other authors.
Would I be able to go long periods of time without it?
Right now, no. In the future, who knows. Most of the time I'm writing not chatting anyway.
I've made some great friends through the internet.

 

[Misty_Morning]

*cue the violins*

Late 90's...my marriage in the crapper. Started finding alternative places to exsist on the net. Would come and go. Sometimes leaving for morethan a year. Coming back with a new alt cuz I couldn't remember passwords and such, not just here ...everywhere I was.

Came back for a reason but didn't expect to be around till I met somone that began to change my life.

I'd always been more into "real" life...my lately my real life is here with someone very special.

Chances are I'll probably leave again...but this time I'll take her with me.

 

[Nirvanadragones]

The internet is an inseparable part of my life. It's not an addition, or an addiction. It's a huge part of how I run my life, and reach out to those I love. That's what happens when you live 6 000 miles away from your nearest family and closest friends.

I travel often, and when I'm away, even for a few hours, I usually take my laptop, and I always have my blackberry. I don't like being disconnected.

I do spend time away from several online venues when I need it. But so far, I've always come back.

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

This site was my first (and so far only) venture in online socializing. I was addicted for a while.*

Here is what surprised the heck out of me: Being here has provided broadened horizons that I never would have imagined, and allowed me to make a few precious friends who I never would have met. It added a new "room" to my life that I never expected.

I think it's like any other human activity - balance is required. There is real value here, but being "addicted" means you're taking too much time away from other valuable areas of life. That's fine for finite period; I understand those who say they "needed" the interactions and human contact the medium provided at some point in their lives; maybe I did too, and didn't realize it.

But just because it may not be "needed" anymore doesn't mean the value is gone; I think there is virtue and value to popping in for a few minutes a day to keep up relationships. We are "real people" to others here, just as they are to us; you don't always know who you touch with your presence.

BTW, I have dabbled in some other forums, but AH is special for an important reason: Given that most of us are writers, it's really true that "all the children are above average" here. I'm not a snob about it, but it's like the difference between frequenting a working class bar vs. a campus coffee shop where a more intellectual crowd hangs out. (Most here agree with Socrates that "the unexamined life is not worth living.") Frankly I felt out of my element in those other places. I am fortunate to get similar intellectual stimulation in my real life, but this place would be a Godsend if I were more isolated.

The identity of this site is a secret to my real life friends and family, but it's become too much a part of my life to never refer to it or share events with them. I refer to it as "quirky writer's site" I hang out on - that's about right!


~~~~~~~~~~

*Mostly my addiction was to the political/philosophical debates, which are really a form of 'video game' with live players, since nothing real is at stake - but it does sharpen the intellect, give one new skills in relating to other people, and broaden intellectual horizons, so that makes it more than "just" a video game. We mostly talk to people we more-or-less agree with in real life, and it's valuable to have contact with those with very different viewpoints - this provides that.

Interestingly, I used to feel guilty for stealing time from work and life to engage in those debates, but the skills and knowledge of the medium they gave me turned out to have a very surprising application in my profession, and equipped me for some new opportunities that have arisen. I'm unusual and lucky in that, I think.

~~~~~~~~~~~

PS. Looking through the previous responses on this thread just strengthens my sense that AH is a special place where "all the children really are above average."

 

[carsonshepherd]

The internet is down-time for me, and sometimes I need more down time than others. When I'm feeling anxious, I can interact with people without "face time" and that means a lot to me. I use my online journal to talk about things that I can't discuss with anyone in real life. When I'm doing other things, I leave the internet alone for weeks at a time. So basically, I think that how much time I spend on the internet is a good barometer of how stressed or anxious I feel. When I'm feeling okay, I don't need it. Right now, I do.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

ROXANNE

The prominent philosopher J.A.MACON said, "Know thyself and keep the information to thyself."

'Above average children" ? Naaaah. I think SETI would have a challenge finding intelligent life here, if snapping gum and knuckle walking is the basement of intelligent life.