Life is becoming a comedy.

SeaCat

Hey, my Halo is smoking
Joined
Sep 23, 2003
Posts
15,378
My life has become a comedy that only someone who appreciates Jeff Foxworthy could appreciate.

I had another visit from my neighbor this evening. I had thought that she would be leaving me alone after I introduced her to my Devils Chicken.

Tonight she came by and demanded two things from me. She demanded that I put up her Christmas Lights for her because I was so obviously done. She went on in detail about what she wanted done and where I could get the lights to do it. (Huh?)

She then informed me that her poor little cat had no food and that she wanted me to give her some. I was almost willing to do this until she produced a bag that she expected me to fill. She wanted me to give her enough to fill a small trashbag. (Enough to feed my cats for a week.)

I thought I was being nice when I asked her why her parents weren't helping her with the lights or the cat food, and where was her BoyFriend during this?

She informed me that I should do as she said as her parents were Cops. I hated to burst her bubble but I know about her parents. Her mother was a dispatcher for a police department that no longer exists, and her father is a reserve with the local Sherriffs Department. She turned and wandered away while mumbling under her breath about people who didn't know their place.

Hey at least she didn't ask or demand food for herself this time.

I'm left to wonder what will come next?

Cat
 
SeaCat said:
My life has become a comedy that only someone who appreciates Jeff Foxworthy could appreciate.

I had another visit from my neighbor this evening. I had thought that she would be leaving me alone after I introduced her to my Devils Chicken.

Tonight she came by and demanded two things from me. She demanded that I put up her Christmas Lights for her because I was so obviously done. She went on in detail about what she wanted done and where I could get the lights to do it. (Huh?)

She then informed me that her poor little cat had no food and that she wanted me to give her some. I was almost willing to do this until she produced a bag that she expected me to fill. She wanted me to give her enough to fill a small trashbag. (Enough to feed my cats for a week.)

I thought I was being nice when I asked her why her parents weren't helping her with the lights or the cat food, and where was her BoyFriend during this?

She informed me that I should do as she said as her parents were Cops. I hated to burst her bubble but I know about her parents. Her mother was a dispatcher for a police department that no longer exists, and her father is a reserve with the local Sherriffs Department. She turned and wandered away while mumbling under her breath about people who didn't know their place.

Hey at least she didn't ask or demand food for herself this time.

I'm left to wonder what will come next?

Cat

No offence but :rolleyes: What violin is your fave?
 
Few things get to me more than people with a profound sense of entitlement. You have my sympathies.
 
WHY didn't you torch that trailer while it was vacant???

You couldn't do it now- the aroma of roasting pork would bring all the neighbors out. :devil:
 
i like larry the cable guy...
i think he made up that joke about the walking farts after hearing about my incredible gastric talents.
*smirk*
 
vella_ms said:
i like larry the cable guy...
i think he made up that joke about the walking farts after hearing about my incredible gastric talents.
*smirk*

As a betting girl - I am betting you can light up your farts like a fire cracker with a simple match. :D
 
SeaCat said:
Tonight she came by and demanded two things from me. She demanded that I put up her Christmas Lights for her because I was so obviously done. She went on in detail about what she wanted done and where I could get the lights to do it.
Blink. Blink.

So...she's like five years old, right? I can't think of anyone older who would (1) make such an absurd demand, (2) try to blackmail/threaten you with the police if you didn't.

Are you sure it's not a horror movie instead of a comedy?
 
I would have told her off a long, long time ago.
My sympathies, of course. :kiss:
 
She informed me that I should do as she said as her parents were Cops.
Sometimes I wonder about the human race.

That girl sounds exactly like my nephew. He's 4 and "in a silly phase" according to his parents. Even the other 4 year olds call him on his "give me your candy or I'll tell my dad" bullshit. :rolleyes:
 
I'm sorry, but SeaCat's life has just jumped the shark. I'm afraid it's become too ridiculous and is obviously just creating newer and wilder stunts and guest stars out of the bag to keep the Nielsen ratings up.

The Earl
 
TheEarl said:
I'm sorry, but SeaCat's life has just jumped the shark. I'm afraid it's become too ridiculous and is obviously just creating newer and wilder stunts and guest stars out of the bag to keep the Nielsen ratings up.

The Earl

Ahh but I so wish this were true my friend.

You have to take into consideration a couple of things.

I live in one of the few Trailer Parks remaining in northern Palm Beach County.

She is 21 years old, and her father admits to this being her first time living outside of her parents home. I am happy in that she has not gone the route of so many kids who suddenly find the freedom of owning their own place. We haven't had to deal with the parties or other excesses.

I live in a state well known for the truly strange and sometimes macabre. Can you imagine a person breaking into a car and finding two dead bodies in it, and continuing to riffle the car?

Thief

Do you remember the Hanging Chads? That too was here in this state.

Do you remember the dbate about the youn women wearing bikini's at the Hot Dog Stands several years ago? That was in this state. (It was banned, not because of being obscene but because it was a distraction to drivers.)

Sher' can attest, this is a strange state.

Cat
 
SeaCat said:
Ahh but I so wish this were true my friend.

You have to take into consideration a couple of things.

I live in one of the few Trailer Parks remaining in northern Palm Beach County.

She is 21 years old, and her father admits to this being her first time living outside of her parents home. I am happy in that she has not gone the route of so many kids who suddenly find the freedom of owning their own place. We haven't had to deal with the parties or other excesses.

I live in a state well known for the truly strange and sometimes macabre. Can you imagine a person breaking into a car and finding two dead bodies in it, and continuing to riffle the car?

Thief

Do you remember the Hanging Chads? That too was here in this state.

Do you remember the dbate about the youn women wearing bikini's at the Hot Dog Stands several years ago? That was in this state. (It was banned, not because of being obscene but because it was a distraction to drivers.)

Sher' can attest, this is a strange state.

Cat

Tell me about it!

I live in Florida too.

Go in any Winn-Dixie, Dollar General or Wal-Mart and you'll see more freaks and weirdos than any side-show in the country.

And don't get me started on the politicians (lol).

Peace.
 
Misty_Morning said:
Come on now folks....

Yeah, Florida has a rather high density of "unique" individuals.....

But there ain't no place I'd rather be...... :)

(wait a minute...it's Tennessee, Tennessee...Ain't no place I'd rather be.....) :D

My pick is Noath Cayrolynah, high up in the mount-unz.

Low humidity and cool breezes.

There's weirdos there too, though (lol).

Peace.
 
SeaCat said:
Ahh but I so wish this were true my friend.

You have to take into consideration a couple of things.

I live in one of the few Trailer Parks remaining in northern Palm Beach County.

She is 21 years old, and her father admits to this being her first time living outside of her parents home. I am happy in that she has not gone the route of so many kids who suddenly find the freedom of owning their own place. We haven't had to deal with the parties or other excesses.

I live in a state well known for the truly strange and sometimes macabre. Can you imagine a person breaking into a car and finding two dead bodies in it, and continuing to riffle the car?

Thief

Do you remember the Hanging Chads? That too was here in this state.

Do you remember the dbate about the youn women wearing bikini's at the Hot Dog Stands several years ago? That was in this state. (It was banned, not because of being obscene but because it was a distraction to drivers.)

Sher' can attest, this is a strange state.

Cat

I can't believe it's stranger than California, though. Especially Los Angeles.
 
Wait a second...

MM, Tom, Scher, SeCat, myself, Reci, ABG, Mal, and god only knows how many others- and we haven't all gotten together yet? WTF?

We need a Floridian Litizen get together. Let's go camping and canoeing next summer.
 
FallingToFly said:
Wait a second...

MM, Tom, Scher, SeCat, myself, Reci, ABG, Mal, and god only knows how many others- and we haven't all gotten together yet? WTF?

We need a Floridian Litizen get together. Let's go camping and canoeing next summer.

I'm down with that, FTF.

Don't forget the 'gator repellent!

Of course, all we have to do is outrun everyone else(lol).

What is it about this state, anyway?

Attracting all these smut merchants (grin).

At least the campfire tales will be interesting!

Peace.
 
Boxlicker101 said:
I can't believe it's stranger than California, though. Especially Los Angeles.
I can! L.A's incredibly normal by compare. Our big news usually involves old rock musicians or ex-football players killing girlfriends/wives. I think the last big weirdness (animal or human) was of the allegator that ended up in a park pond. People walking their dogs had to be extra careful to keep their puppies away from the water.

Really. It's terribly sad how downhill California's gone in that department. It used to be that L.A. was the ultimate circus town, surpassing all other U.S. cities in weirdness. Now, alas, Vegas and Flordia have far surpassed La-La land. They are the new Circus Cities.
 
TheEarl said:
I'm sorry, but SeaCat's life has just jumped the shark. I'm afraid it's become too ridiculous and is obviously just creating newer and wilder stunts and guest stars out of the bag to keep the Nielsen ratings up.
I'm in agreement Earl. I suppose I'm just going to have to hold off on getting the DVD of this season. It's gotten too unbelievable ;)
 
SeaCat said:
My life has become a comedy that only someone who appreciates Jeff Foxworthy could appreciate.

I had another visit from my neighbor this evening. I had thought that she would be leaving me alone after I introduced her to my Devils Chicken.

Tonight she came by and demanded two things from me. She demanded that I put up her Christmas Lights for her because I was so obviously done. She went on in detail about what she wanted done and where I could get the lights to do it. (Huh?)

She then informed me that her poor little cat had no food and that she wanted me to give her some. I was almost willing to do this until she produced a bag that she expected me to fill. She wanted me to give her enough to fill a small trashbag. (Enough to feed my cats for a week.)

I thought I was being nice when I asked her why her parents weren't helping her with the lights or the cat food, and where was her BoyFriend during this?

She informed me that I should do as she said as her parents were Cops. I hated to burst her bubble but I know about her parents. Her mother was a dispatcher for a police department that no longer exists, and her father is a reserve with the local Sherriffs Department. She turned and wandered away while mumbling under her breath about people who didn't know their place.

Hey at least she didn't ask or demand food for herself this time.

I'm left to wonder what will come next?

Cat

So I'm waiting for the fuck bit...
 
3113 said:
I can! L.A's incredibly normal by compare. Our big news usually involves old rock musicians or ex-football players killing girlfriends/wives. I think the last big weirdness (animal or human) was of the allegator that ended up in a park pond. People walking their dogs had to be extra careful to keep their puppies away from the water.

Really. It's terribly sad how downhill California's gone in that department. It used to be that L.A. was the ultimate circus town, surpassing all other U.S. cities in weirdness. Now, alas, Vegas and Flordia have far surpassed La-La land. They are the new Circus Cities.

Ummmm, don't forget the photo of the snake that tried to eat the Gator.

Gators in ponds are nothing new. (Did I post the story of the guy diving for Golf Balls who got attacked by a Gator? This was in a Water Hazard in northern Florida.)

Let's see, totaly wierded out people in our area recently. Hmmmmm, coud be the woman who was arrested for having some fifty plus cats in her two bedroom house. (She was charged with running an unliscenced Zoo as well as illegaly disposing of the dead ones by burying them in her back yard.)

Oh wait, it could be the fellow who used to play Tarzan, and kept several Tigers in runs in his back yard. One escaped into the brush and was seen several times near other peoples houses. The police and animal control came in to find it and in the end it was shot and killed. The owner was outraged.

Or wait a minute, maybe the title could go to Town Councilor Green who told all of the younger blacks in her community that if they see blue lights in their back window they should run lest they be shot by the police. (She was later in the news for for bringing charges against a landlord because he took two weeks to replace a stove in one of his apartments, yet her properties were being shown in the local news as slums.)

This is the same town where our mayor had a news conference proclaiming how she had been doing so much to stop crime, and that same night a world reknown celebrity was mugged on a busy street. (David Copperfield.)

This is the same town where the local Police Chief had her unmarked cruiser towed from her driveway, because she had too many cars in her drive.

This is the state where the Power Company, (Florida Power and Light) is claiming they don't have enough money to harden or bury their power lines, and yet they are going outside the state to buy Power Plants. (The latest was a Nuke in I think New Hampshire.)

We have both Donald Trump and Bush Limbaugh in residence.

This is the county where a Highway Patrolman was pulled over for speeding while he was responding to an accident with injuries. (Yes he did have his lights on, and yes he was on a state road.) It actually went to trial.

This is the city (Palm Beach Gardens) where a man was charged with Animal Cruelty because he used his garden hose to hose down a dog taking a dump on his lawn.

In my trailer park it is against the rules to have more than three pets. (This includes fish.)

In my trailer park it is illegal to have open flames.

The regulations for my park state that you must have concrete footings for your trailer. Your trailer must be at least three feet above said footings, but no more than four feet above the footing. You must also have solid skirting around your trailer. You may not store anything uner your trailer. (Okay, I have the required concrete pad. My trailer is three feet six inches above this pad. I have a solid skirting around my trailer. How in the hell are they to know if I store anything under there?)

One of our state parks was owned by an avowed nudist. He gave the property to the state with the agreement that the park would be clothing optional. Now the regulations state that any bathing suit that covers less than 3/4 of the buttocks is illegal.

Oh yes I am in an interesting state.

Cat
 
Back
Top