G
Guest
Guest
LEVEL OF INSANITY
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at
passing cars to see if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't
disguise your voice.)
3) Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com OR
Elvis-the-King@companyname.com>
4) Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want
fries
with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a
little synchronized
chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label
it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for ###### favors.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with,
"That's what you think."
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the
prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the
brightness level lights up
the entire work area. Insist to others that you
like it that way.
13) Don't use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.......
15) Ask people what sex they are.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing Along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems
don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy
exactly the same outfits. Wear
them one day after your boss does. (This is
especially effective if
your boss is the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to
tell
them what you're doing.
For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the
bathroom.
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you
can't attend their
party
because you're not in the mood.
23) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies
24) Call the psychic hotline and just say,
"Guess who"
25) Have your co-workers address youby your
wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream
"I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27) When leaving the Zoo, start running towards
the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my
head that bother me, its the
voices in your head that do"
29) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the
economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go"
30) Everytime you see a broom yell "Honey, your
mother is here"
HOW TO KEEP A HEALTHY LEVEL OF INSANITY
1) At lunch time, sit in your parked car and point a hair dryer at
passing cars to see if they slow down.
2) Page yourself over the intercom. (Don't
disguise your voice.)
3) Insist that your e mail address is:
Xena-goddess-of-fire@companyname.com OR
Elvis-the-King@companyname.com>
4) Every time someone asks you to do something,
ask if they want
fries
with that.
5) Encourage your colleagues to join you in a
little synchronized
chair dancing.
6) Put your garbage can on your desk and label
it "IN."
7) Develop an unnatural fear of staplers.
8) Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks.
Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to espresso.
9) In the memo field of all your checks, write 'for ###### favors.'
10) Reply to everything someone says with,
"That's what you think."
11) Finish all your sentences with "In accordance with the
prophecy."
12) Adjust the tint on your monitor so that the
brightness level lights up
the entire work area. Insist to others that you
like it that way.
13) Don't use any punctuation
14) As often as possible, skip rather than walk.......
15) Ask people what sex they are.
16) Specify that your drive-through order is "to go."
17) Sing Along at the opera.
18) Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems
don't rhyme.
19) Find out where your boss shops and buy
exactly the same outfits. Wear
them one day after your boss does. (This is
especially effective if
your boss is the opposite gender.)
20) Send e-mail to the rest of the company to
tell
them what you're doing.
For example: If anyone needs me, I'll be in the
bathroom.
21) Put mosquito netting around your cubicle.
22) Five days in advance, tell your friends you
can't attend their
party
because you're not in the mood.
23) Call 911 and ask if 911 is for emergencies
24) Call the psychic hotline and just say,
"Guess who"
25) Have your co-workers address youby your
wrestling name, Rock Hard.
26) When the money comes out of the ATM, scream
"I Won!", "I Won!" "3rd time this week!!!"
27) When leaving the Zoo, start running towards
the parking lot, yelling "Run for your lives, they're loose!"
28) Tell your boss, "It's not the voices in my
head that bother me, its the
voices in your head that do"
29) Tell your children over dinner. "Due to the
economy, we are
going to have to let one of you go"
30) Everytime you see a broom yell "Honey, your
mother is here"
