Letting Go of the Poison.

[Black_Bird]

What type of person are you? Are you forgiving? Do you hold grudges? Are you vengeful? Or perhaps you guilt trip?

Well?

 

[bluespoke]

What is the point of holding a grudge?

You get nothing out of it, except that you become bitter and twisted.

Forgive, forget and be happy.

 

[T.H. Oughts]

I tend to sort the shit out and then move on...... no use crying over spilt milk

 

[Caria Knight]

I voted "other"

I forgive outwardly but I rarely forget. That doesn't mean that I throw it in a face, just think back on it every so often when something else happens to upset me.

*shrug* guess I'm just wierd of something...

 

[perks]

I treat each situation differently, although I don't think I've ever used a guilt trip...I think I have to wait until my daughter is grown for that<at least that's what my mother did...oops...does>


as for the other options......being vengeful....oh yes I have been on less than 5 occasions, but well worth it.

as for judgemental, in certain instances sure...my opinions, my outlook, my perspectives certainly judge racism and intolerance.

holding a grudge, only with people that don't care about their actions towards people I care for. And why shouldn't I?

different situations call for different responses. I'm not overly any one of these things, but they can be handy tools.

perky

 

[Black_Bird]

I voted forgiver... if you wanted to know.

 

[Calamity Jane]

I tend to forgive, with conditions. That may not make any sense, but what I mean is, that I will forgive someone for many things. But if the behavior continues, then I find that I am less forgiving. I have high standards for the people I associate with, and integrity is important to me. If you apologize for something, then it follows that you would discontinue the behavior. If you choose not to, than your apology loses credibility, and my forgiveness was based on a falsely held assumption. I won't forgive the next time.

Hmm... does that make any sense at all?

 

[Shy Tall Guy]

I normally let go of the poison, but if the offense was heinous, and the person is unrepentant, then I would say calling what I hold a grudge would be putting it lightly.

Even when I forgive, I do not usually forget the offense and the person has to earn back the trust they once had.

 

[fillmup]

I'm a forgiving person, let bygones, be bygones

 

[kotori]

forgive

Generally, there's no point in holding a grudge; but I can't forget--I don't know how that might manifest itself, but I can't forget.

 

[Georgia Girl]

I voted forgiver but I have to agree with Perky -- different things call for different responses. For the most part though, I try to just let it all fade away.

Dawn

 

[Desdemona]

I'm generally a very forgiving person. I never sweat the small stuff.

I have to say that repitition of the same or similar offense will not be tolerated. I remember and will take note of trends.

Some offenses can not be forgiven.

in other words: I'm nice, but not a doormat.

 

[bluntforcemama]

I'll ask you that same question after I knock all your teeth out, okay?




Ready? Smile!

 

[Black_Bird]

I'll ask you that same question after I knock all your teeth out, okay?

Ready? Smile!

Remind me not to piss you off...

Er - better yet... I'll just remember it. Yep - I don't need to be reminded Ms Myst.
please don't hurt the bird...

 

[EthiopianPrince]

I clicked vengeful. People who shit on others don't learn until they've been shit on, too.

 

[bluntforcemama]

I'm not THAT mean. You'd have to do something to piss me off, first, even then, you'd have to do it over and over again, then I'd think about it.

 

[CeceliaSkye]

Letting go of the poison

Unforgiveness is poison. Literally. I believe it is toxic and responsible for many physical ailments. Knowing this brings a sense of responsibilty for keeping the psyche clear of this stuff.. Forgiveness is both the hardest and most rewarding thing you can do for yourself.... Self forgiveness has always been hard for me. I forgive others easily though...

 

[Black_Bird]

Re: Letting go of the poison

Unforgiveness is poison. Literally. I believe it is toxic and responsible for many physical ailments. Knowing this brings a sense of responsibilty for keeping the psyche clear of this stuff.. Forgiveness is both the hardest and most rewarding thing you can do for yourself.... Self forgiveness has always been hard for me. I forgive others easily though...

And CeceliaSkye gets the reward for decyphering my thread titled. Congradulations, hon.

Welcome to Lit, btw.

 

[CeceliaSkye]

Thankyou Blackbird I like these types of threads by the way, ones that make you think...

 

[Lost Cause]

For minor encounters, I am a forgiver. For those who attack my country, people, and constitution, I would personally kill them, their families, their animals, their homes, and the record of their existence on this planet.

 

[JennyOmanHill]

What type of person are you? Are you forgiving? Do you hold grudges? Are you vengeful? Or perhaps you guilt trip?
Well?

I'll admit that I have touched on each choice during my lifetime. Although I fight the urge to lay a "guilt trip" once in a while, I am much more generous with forgiveness now. Letting go of as much hurt, disappointment and anger as possible and letting the love you have for that person break through feels so much better and is much more rewarding. Life is too short to drag negativity around with you.

 

[Thumper]

Bury the hatchet!

But not in each other.

LC...and how does that make us any better than the "attacker"?

We can all see the result of grudge carrying in the mideast, the Balkans, Kashmir etc. What does it solve. Never did much for the Hatfields and McCoys.

Nothing is unforgiveable. If you can't forgive then you shouldn't expect forgiveness.

To forgive is a gift to yourself not the transgressor. In most cases the offending party could not care less about your hurt and will lose no sleep over it, only you will if you stew over it.

Do I look at the events in Afghanistan as vengeance? No, it is eliminating a threat and restoring a semblance of dignity to a nation. If all we wanted was vengeance we could have just wasted the whole country in a few days.

 

[YogiBare]

I'm a forgiver, mostly. Now, that doesn't necessarily mean that I'll let the person who hurt me get that close to me again. It depends on the person, the relationship, and the circumstances. I also don't "forget" what happened, because that only invites more hurt. I'll use whatever information that I've learned from the experience to help guide my future actions. Emotionally, the person is forgiven. That doesn't necessarily mean, though, that things will be as they once were.

Very, very occasionally someone will do me wrong in a way that demands revenge as the only appropriate response. If someone gouges me in a mean and intential way, they're gonna have to feel some hurt. I've learned that that is the only way to deal with bullies.

It happens very rarely, but it occasionally does occur in the professional arena. (You wouldn't expect that from social workers and therapists, would you? People are just people, I guess.)

People sometimes mistake my patience and kindness for weakness and see that as an opening to advance their own fortune and agenda at my cost. People who do that are selfishly ambitious and invariably make mistakes. When they do, I'm ready, sitting there smiling and waiting. When power is used in this quietly discreet way it earns respect, drops jaws, and prevents future attacks.

I don't do grudges or guilt.

 

[mistyc]

I must admit I voted 'other'

For small indiscretions I can easily forgive and forget.

For the major one that happened in my life, and some of you who have read some of my postings in the "rape" thread, I will never forgive nor forget. In fact I would dearly love to hand out some very vengeful pain. Buy hey that's me.

 

[Lusciousladyf]

I am a forgiver...and like most other posts here...to a certain extent. Every situation is different, the people involved are different, and my reactions are different as well. The poison of not forgiving is worse than the indecretion, at least to the person holding the grudge. As previosly stated, your health and mental well being is your utmost concern (or should be) and if you continually harbor grudges, or even hatred, your body will, at some point, give you clues and signs to let it go or you will suffer many generic health ailments, like headaches, backaches, colds, etc. If left beyond that...more serious ailments will occur.
There is a very strong connection between your mind and body. You are responsible to see to it that that connection is always strong, always positive, and always in your best interest.
I believe that every experience is a learning experience not a mistake. It is only a mistake if you don't learn from it...and repeat it.
That is where forgiving takes places...but you don't have to forget. Just file that away in the back of your mind...and when another similar experience occurs...it will come forward, you will recall your previous actions and results...and learn!! Your decision to the new experience will be based on facts. If you ignore it..well then you will repeat the mistake and suffer the consequences.

Forgiving does not mean that person(s) have the right to use you as a doormat...only you can prevent that from happening. The forgiving is so you can be at peace with yourself...not necessarily the other person(s).