Letter Writing

[lucky-E-leven]

Svenskaflicka brought up something in the No Topic thread that I found interesting. She asked if anyone could remember the last time they'd received an actual hand written letter in the mail.

I got to thinking and it really has been a long time for me personally. I suppose e-mail has practically obliterated the practice of hand writing a letter and I find this incredibly disheartening.

I think the ease and speed of email has caused a deterioration in the content of letters. It has in mine at least. When I sit down and hand write a letter I put a great deal of thought and planning into it. Whereas when I write an email I fly right through it and click send. If anything is misunderstood or unclear it is nothing but a quick question and send to reply. No postage, paper, envelope, time, etc...


Can you remember the last time you received a hand written letter? Do you remember the last time you wrote one yourself?

Does the speed/ease of email reduce the quality of content in a letter, in your opinion?

~lucky

 

[SnoopDog]

I think a hand written letter is still the best way of expressing true ffelings and emotions.
The last one I wrote, as well as the last one I received, was a letter to a girl I truly loved. Unfortunately she did't feel the same way at all.

Snoopy

 

[damppanties]

Can you remember the last time you received a hand written letter? Do you remember the last time you wrote one yourself?

Yes, I do. Five or six years ago. From my mother. To my mother.

I'm not a letter-writer. I find it a big chore to write it out in long-hand. In fact, I dislike writing stuff out. Typing is my choice of writing. Anything.

Does the speed/ease of email reduce the quality of content in a letter, in your opinion?

~lucky

I don't know. To me it's the speed/ease of email improves the quality of letter writing. I wouldn't write a letter otherwise. Lazy plus do not like to sit down and put pen to paper.

I write long rambling letters in email too. Somehow I think my thoughts flow better if I am not staring at a blank page but at a monitor and the keys down here. Sounds silly? It must be.

The rush of when you're waiting impatiently for a mail... the refreshing every two minutes... the anticipation... ooooh - just cannot be compared to the plodding mailman on a rusty bicycle arriving days after you sent your letter off and probably forgotten about what you've written.

Just what is so special about a letter? The handwriting? The time put into it? I fail to see how it is more important than sitting in front of a machine and typing it out. Is a letter more personal? But the person writing those words is what matters, not how they get to you. That, and the words themselves.

 

[Liar]

The world is changing, and with it, the context of the written letter.

When you couldn't reach each other all the time through email, instant messaging, mobile phones and bulletin boards, writing letters was a way of keeping yourself updated. An exchange of letters was often not only a specific conversation, but a way of keping yourself updated.

A letter today, for someone who you know could reach you through simpler means, implied that something has been put a lot of thought into. When a private envelope (very rarely) is stacked along with the ads and bills in my mailbox, I know that here will be something special, something that will mean something.

Maybe I''m old fashioned, but I've written letters now and then, when I really wanted the reciever to read and understand that I mean what I say, express my true feelings, no irony, no jest. Just straight up me.

#L

 

[SensualCealy]

The last one I received was at Christmas from my Swedish pen pal of 27yrs.

The last one I sent, hmmm likely at Christmas as well, not saying who it went to.

I agree, for a short note to say you are still alive the internet is great, to get feelings and emotion clairified hand written with a personal scent is always much more appropriate.

Its always nice to get little somethings in the letter too! lol
Cealy

 

[MercyMia]

Can you remember the last time you received a hand written letter? Do you remember the last time you wrote one yourself?

Does the speed/ease of email reduce the quality of content in a letter, in your opinion?

~lucky

About 2 months ago, a friend wrote me a lovely handwritten letter, complete with crossouts where she had had second thoughts, written with her trusty fountain pen. She and I were trying to console each other over the loss of another friend to cancer. I carried her letter with me for a couple of weeks, taking it out to read when I was in the checkout line at the supermarket, or waiting in a doctor's clinic. I read it many times and each time, the letter had new things I hadn't noticed before. The information stayed with me longer.

Finally, I felt I had absorbed everything she had put into the letter and I took another week to think about what I wanted to write back to her. Then one afternoon, I sat down with my own trusty fountain pen and a stack of that nice, thick cream-colored stationery and I entered my written conversation with her.

I love hand written letters that come in the regular post. Emails can be a blessing for the speed and efficiency of the technology, but they are also too impersonal. No quirky handwriting, no tell tale paper, no interesting postal stamps...and no perfume.

Sometimes, I write one particular friend using my old Smith Corona manual typewriter. My hands perch on the keyboard at a different angle than when at the computer board, and I have to press down harder to make the keys fly up to press the ribbon and make the letters appear on the page. It is still lovely to me, the old way. Something about the way the ink from the ribbon smears a little bit and isn't as precise-looking as type on the computer monitor...it's just more...touching, individual.

I miss receiving letters. I used to keep up a regular correspondence with several friends and relatives and would receive at least 1 letter in the post everyday. I miss those days.


Mia

 

[NoJo]

Sent and received a few handwritten letters after my father died last year.

Received one from a ex literotica lady recently. Like lucky, she missed the intimacy of handwriting. The "analog" nature of handwriting allows it to carry another information channel that provide subtle non-verbal communication along with the words.

 

[Guest]

 

[cloudy]

I have a brother incarcerated so write an actual letter about once a week or so, and occasionally get one back from him.

To me, a handwritten letter is more personal. I always think of what an old boyfriend said one time when he recieved a letter from me......we lived 5,000 miles apart and didn't see each other often and he called one night to tell me he had received it, and said "I'm holding it right now....you had this same paper in your hands." Maybe that's what makes it different from email.

 

[neonlyte]

I recently completed an application form downloaded onto the computer. I could read and print the form with Adobe Acrobat but could not fill in the form on screen without the whole Adobe 'toolkit' - so I had to print off and hand write the form, took about six attempts to get my handwriting as small as typing to fill in the spaces left on the form.

I realised I had become so used to typing that I had forgotten how to hand write. I cannot remember the last hand written letter I sent or received (other than postcards). Almost the only things I hand write are lists, addresses on envelopes and lists to remind me of the lists.

NL

 

[raphy]

I actually don't like letters or emails.

I've never liked writing letters. I don't much like writing email. I like interaction, which is something you don't get from letters, email or even Private Messages on a a Bulletin Board like this one.

My favourite non-verbal long-distance means of communication is via an Instant Message program like AIM or ICQ. I like the interaction. I like the to and fro of conversation.

I like to see a reply to what I've written.

I don't like having to wait for ages for a reply, and I don't like having to write paragraphs to make it seem worthwhile. I don't know about anyone else, but sending an email that says 'Hi, how are you?' only to get a reply that says 'I'm fine, how are you?' seems to me to be a waste of time.

I always feel that an email (or a letter) should contain more than just one line and the problem is - When you're having a conversation with another person, you simply don't talk that way. You say something, they say something, you say something, they say something.

That's not something that you can duplicate with email or letters.

Liar said:

When you couldn't reach each other all the time through email, instant messaging, mobile phones and bulletin boards, writing letters was a way of keeping yourself updated. An exchange of letters was often not only a specific conversation, but a way of keping yourself updated.

That's never interested me. It's rare that you'll hear me say 'So what have you been up to lately?' or if you do, I'm merely being polite. If I'm talking to you, it's because I want to talk about something, not find out that your dog died, or that your son got an award last week for most cub scout badges or anything like that.

And vice versa - When I'm writing a letter, I never know what to say in it because I'm not going to put tedious banal bullshit like that into my letter. It's boring. It's boring to write and it's boring to read. Hence - I don't write letters (or email, much)

So, the whole 'keeping updated' aspect of letters has never appealed to me.

No, give me an conversation, with instant interaction, or give me nothing.

 

[Sabledrake]

Last time I got one:

Three weeks ago, but it was from my granny, who doesn't even have a computer. So that probably doesn't count

Last time I wrote one? Gosh ... ages.

Sabledrake

 

[Liar]

I actually don't like letters or emails.

I've never liked writing letters. I don't much like writing email. I like interaction, which is something you don't get from letters, email or even Private Messages on a a Bulletin Board like this one.

My favourite non-verbal long-distance means of communication is via an Instant Message program like AIM or ICQ. I like the interaction. I like the to and fro of conversation.

I like to see a reply to what I've written.

I don't like having to wait for ages for a reply, and I don't like having to write paragraphs to make it seem worthwhile. I don't know about anyone else, but sending an email that says 'Hi, how are you?' only to get a reply that says 'I'm fine, how are you?' seems to me to be a waste of time.

I always feel that an email (or a letter) should contain more than just one line and the problem is - When you're having a conversation with another person, you simply don't talk that way. You say something, they say something, you say something, they say something.

That's not something that you can duplicate with email or letters.

Liar said:


That's never interested me. It's rare that you'll hear me say 'So what have you been up to lately?' or if you do, I'm merely being polite. If I'm talking to you, it's because I want to talk about something, not find out that your dog died, or that your son got an award last week for most cub scout badges or anything like that.

And vice versa - When I'm writing a letter, I never know what to say in it because I'm not going to put tedious banal bullshit like that into my letter. It's boring. It's boring to write and it's boring to read. Hence - I don't write letters (or email, much)

So, the whole 'keeping updated' aspect of letters has never appealed to me.

No, give me an conversation, with instant interaction, or give me nothing.

And still you're here.

Actually I kind of agree with you. I've never written a letter in that classical sense of the word. And yes, real, direct communication is much more preferrable. But I do prefer this, bulletin boards, emails, and old time envelopes to the online chat experience.

Instant messaging and chatrooms are to me just the other end of an unpleasant spectre. It is everything bad about a static text communication awithout any of the advantages of a real face-to-face conversation. You have to make yourself understood, and instantly at that, with a tool so blunt that if I had to make a comparision, it would be to play the piano with boxing gloves, in the dark.

Since I can't rely on a stance, facial expression or a timbre in my voice to carry thew finer points across, I need more carefully constructed language than when I talk. And people expect too fast reactios when real time chatting on the net. Then I much preferr this, where I have time to collect my thoughts, wit and act so that I'm not misunderstood all of the time.

#L ... got ICQ, but I only use it with those who know me well enough.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Thank you all for contributing. I think it's really interesting that the few responses not totally for hand written letters has been about ease/efficiency. i.e. handwriting, laziness, etc... (Raphy being the exception and wanting actual conversation of some type.)

I absolutely love a hand written letter and had never thought about why until recently. See when I was younger I wrote at least one letter a day to my future husband for three straight years. Some days I wrote more than one letter, but at the very least I wrote one a day. He was military and all over the globe. Email was just getting on its feet, but neither of us had the capability at the time.

So there is now tangible proof of what happened in my daily life/thoughts for three years running, sitting in a collection of boxes in my attic. I enjoy the idea of them being up there and will one day go back and see what I had to say. But at the time they served a very basic purpose which was to communicate. (Phone calls to Korea and elsewhere are very expensive and IM wasn't even around yet.) He often told me that there were days that the loneliness was unbearable, but just knowing that when his company returned from the field he'd have a pile of letters waiting for him was incentive enough to keep his chin up.

But the thing about letters that really thrills me to my toes is the fact that the sender sat down and gave me their undivided attention for however long it took to write that letter. Their hand held the pen. Their fingers ran across the paper. Their tongue licked the envelope. Any number of things makes me feel closer about holding that letter in my hands when it arrives.

I recently sent a package to a very close friend, whom I have not yet met face to face. When I spoke to her on the phone I could tell how excited she was and she said something that really stuck out in my mind.

"I couldn't stop running my hands over everything. Just knowing you touched it makes me feel closer to you."

The only thing I can equate it to is a long distance hand shake, but it moved me and was extremely personal. This is how I feel when I hold a letter in my hands. I can't carry an email around with me in my pocket like Mia. I can't press it to my face and breathe it in. I can't see where the sender went wrong with a word, or sneezed and scribbled a bit as a result. I know it might sound silly but those things are charming to me and add to whatever might've been written in the most wonderful way.

~lucky

 

[ABSTRUSE]

I love anything that is hand written to me. An actual letter is the best thing anyone can give you, next to a card.
When someone sends me a package I can't wait to open it, first hesitating over what may be inside and then I carefully take things out and examine them like a museum curator would examine a shipment of rare pieces. I know that they were packed with love and that is a definite warm fuzzy.

~A~

 

[SnoopDog]

Also I tend to believe that since writing a real letter is more complicated or more of an effort than just sending a quick e-mail, it means that the person writing the letter does more thinking on how and what he actually writes. So real letters are often more true to the issue or the feelings. Or so I believe.

Snoopy, wishing he would finally get a nice letter or package again

 

[raphy]

And still you're here.

Actually I kind of agree with you. I've never written a letter in that classical sense of the word. And yes, real, direct communication is much more preferrable. But I do prefer this, bulletin boards, emails, and old time envelopes to the online chat experience.

Instant messaging and chatrooms are to me just the other end of an unpleasant spectre. It is everything bad about a static text communication awithout any of the advantages of a real face-to-face conversation. You have to make yourself understood, and instantly at that, with a tool so blunt that if I had to make a comparision, it would be to play the piano with boxing gloves, in the dark.

Since I can't rely on a stance, facial expression or a timbre in my voice to carry thew finer points across, I need more carefully constructed language than when I talk. And people expect too fast reactios when real time chatting on the net. Then I much preferr this, where I have time to collect my thoughts, wit and act so that I'm not misunderstood all of the time.

#L ... got ICQ, but I only use it with those who know me well enough.

Aye. I am still here, because bulletin boards provide at least *some* interaction, of a sort. Because of the time differences in the internet and because of how many people can potentially be signed into a bulletin board at any one time, it *is* possible to have a conversation in something approaching real time.


As for making yourself understood instantly... Written communication is written communication, be it letter, email or online chat.. The reason the instant online chat is good is because if there's a misunderstanding, you can clear it up instantly. If you're trying to do the same thing with snail mail, you can wait 2 weeks or more for it to be cleared up.

You write the letter. They recieve it a day later. They misunderstand you. They take a few days to write back. You recieve their letter. it takes you a few days to write back and say 'You misunderstood me, this is what I really meant', etc etc .. Much preferable to be able to sort all that stuff out in seconds using online chat.

That's why I actually like the fast reaction times on the net. I always pick and choose my words very carefully anyway, even during normal face-to-face conversation. I don't say anything without first making sure that a) it's actually what I want to say, b) it's how I want to say it and c) what I think (or hope) the intended reaction from the other party is going to be.

There's no difference between the words I write in an instant chat situation and the words I write in an email I've had time to prepare - I think about each equally, and if I do need time to collect my thoughts in an instant chat situation, I can just say 'Hold up, let me figure out the right way to say this."

That said, I think fast, and I type at at least 90 wpm, so I don't find that people are waiting long for my responses in an instant chat situation.

 

[Guest]

Letter writing has been an essential part of my life and has kept family and friendship going. My favourite brother left the states over twenty years ago and I have boxes full of his letters, as he has mine. For years they were handwritten, then we got tyepwriters. Most letters were several pages long so typing was practical (plus his handwriting is nearly illegible). We write via email now but the letters are no shorter nor less thoughtful and initimate than the ones of two decades ago. Same with a friend who moved to Australia over ten years ago. Btw, both my brother and friend are published writers.

Perdita

 

[CharleyH]

I love the feeling of connection I get between my thoughts and words when writing by hand. I don't write personal letters as much as I'd like. I kind of have a problem getting to the post office. In my profession, last year, I wrote at least 20 letters-to-editors if that counts?

On a personal level, the last letter I wrote was a month ago to a friend who sent me a copy of his new CD. I could have just sent him a quicky email, but instead set aside some time, put the CD into the stereo and wrote every thought, emotion etc. that his music evoked in me as I listened for the first time.

In this day and age, when all I look forward to in my mailbox are bills and pizza flyers, a letter from a friend or relative is more than awesome, as described by many here.

 

[Liar]

That said, I think fast, and I type at at least 90 wpm, so I don't find that people are waiting long for my responses in an instant chat situation.

You may. I don't. It takes consideration beyond real-time interaction to get my lines right sometimes. I've even rushed things here on the AH at times and have had to patch up misunderstandings afterwards. But, given some time, I get my point across even on this shabby media.

But there is nothing like good old actual face-to face connection. I think I'm gonna get me a webcam one of these days...

#L

 

[Lovepotion69]

Last time I received a hand written letter was a couple of months ago from a friend in Madagascar. Last person I wrote to was to her.

I love receiving letters, they feel more personal. Like the person has put more effort in it. Written it, put it in an envelop and gone to the post office with it.

Personally for me, I write emails the way I write letters. Long ones and I think through them equally much. Email's just a cheaper and quicker way for it to get there.

I write letters when I feel like lying in bed and writing. It's quite relaxing.

/LP

 

[Mysteryjj]

Svenskaflicka brought up something in the No Topic thread that I found interesting. She asked if anyone could remember the last time they'd received an actual hand written letter in the mail.

I got to thinking and it really has been a long time for me personally. I suppose e-mail has practically obliterated the practice of hand writing a letter and I find this incredibly disheartening.

I think the ease and speed of email has caused a deterioration in the content of letters. It has in mine at least. When I sit down and hand write a letter I put a great deal of thought and planning into it. Whereas when I write an email I fly right through it and click send. If anything is misunderstood or unclear it is nothing but a quick question and send to reply. No postage, paper, envelope, time, etc...


Can you remember the last time you received a hand written letter? Do you remember the last time you wrote one yourself?

Does the speed/ease of email reduce the quality of content in a letter, in your opinion?

~lucky

Last time I wrote a hand written letter was about three weeks ago, last time I recieved one was two days later in reply.

No I'm not telling you what it was about, my husband might look in here sometime

 

[damppanties]

So there is now tangible proof of what happened in my daily life/thoughts for three years running, sitting in a collection of boxes in my attic. I enjoy the idea of them being up there and will one day go back and see what I had to say.

...

But the thing about letters that really thrills me to my toes is the fact that the sender sat down and gave me their undivided attention for however long it took to write that letter. Their hand held the pen. Their fingers ran across the paper. Their tongue licked the envelope. Any number of things makes me feel closer about holding that letter in my hands when it arrives.

I recently sent a package to a very close friend, whom I have not yet met face to face. When I spoke to her on the phone I could tell how excited she was and she said something that really stuck out in my mind.

"I couldn't stop running my hands over everything. Just knowing you touched it makes me feel closer to you."

The only thing I can equate it to is a long distance hand shake, but it moved me and was extremely personal. This is how I feel when I hold a letter in my hands. I can't carry an email around with me in my pocket like Mia. I can't press it to my face and breathe it in. I can't see where the sender went wrong with a word, or sneezed and scribbled a bit as a result. I know it might sound silly but those things are charming to me and add to whatever might've been written in the most wonderful way.

~lucky

I figured out what it is with me. I don't have an attachment to 'things'. It's not the chance of misunderstanding or the time taken to do the back and forth.

This has all got to do with the personality of the person concerned. If you care about little things and personal attachment transferring itself through a hand-written letter, then yes, a letter is special. But to me, an email would be just as thoughtful and special. I simply don't see any difference.