Let's talk about PM's

[ponydriver]

I don't send PM's until I have chatted on a thread with someone and have gotten a sense of who they are.

When I send a PM it will usually start with something they have said on a thread I would like to elaborate on or seek clarification. I rarely ever send a PM that is not responded to because of this practice.

When I receive a PM it's always nice if they are responding to something on my profile, which shows a genuine interest and or like me they are wanting to pursue a conversation started on a thread. I have always responded to PM's of this nature.

That's because your momma raised you right Taz. You're southern charm is showing. Wish others would follow that advice, I think they would find their PM's responded to much more frequently.

Love you too Starry.

 

[starrynightin64]

Maybe I am a fruit-loop but I started sending a random PM a day
as a Thank You for something positive I see posted,
a welcome back or if someone needs a hug kind of thing.

 

[barefootgirl69]

Maybe I am a fruit-loop but I started sending a random PM a day
as a Thank You for something positive I see posted,
a welcome back or if someone needs a hug kind of thing.

Not crazy at all. It's nice to know when something you've said or done is appreciated, and it feels good to be the one telling someone how much something they've said has touched you.

 

[AKentuckyLady]

Maybe I am a fruit-loop but I started sending a random PM a day
as a Thank You for something positive I see posted,
a welcome back or if someone needs a hug kind of thing.

I think that's awesome, Starry! I do this at work. Every Friday I take a second to look back at who did something great and I send a "kudos" email to them and also cc whoever their boss is It always makes me feel good and gives them a great boost after a long week.

 

[ydahecnot]

Any random PMs I send are in response to something interesting posted on a thread by someone, or an interesting trend on a thread. I don't send crude PMs, at least not right away.

I do have a couple of peeves. Some people act as if only posts that are literary treatises are worth answering. Most real-life convos are nothing like that; they are short, chatty passages, like "your post was hilarious/how are ya?...and so on. Also, the people who put a laundry list of things they won't talk about/won't do/etc. Would you introduce yourself in a real-world situation that way? It won't keep creeps away, only good people who get scared off.

 

[PAfireguy]

WOW I feel like I have a lot of PM writing that I need to catch up with! haha jk

 

[ForeverDreaming]

I don't send PM's until I have chatted on a thread with someone and have gotten a sense of who they are.

When I send a PM it will usually start with something they have said on a thread I would like to elaborate on or seek clarification. I rarely ever send a PM that is not responded to because of this practice.

When I receive a PM it's always nice if they are responding to something on my profile, which shows a genuine interest and or like me they are wanting to pursue a conversation started on a thread. I have always responded to PM's of this nature.

This is the best thing I've read in a long time.

 

[Bampire]

I rarely initiate PM's unless it's someone I've already chatted with. I'm aware of the online creepy guy factor and don't want to be mistaken for that. I think it's better to click on the forum first. Maybe that approach is too conservative for some, but that's just my nature.

 

[ForeverDreaming]

I rarely initiate PM's unless it's someone I've already chatted with. I'm aware of the online creepy guy factor and don't want to be mistaken for that. I think it's better to click on the forum first. Maybe that approach is too conservative for some, but that's just my nature.

I think this is what most women prefer. So I don't think you are doing it wrong.

 

[subgreen]

This thread is interesting. I have been guilty of sending cheap, trashy PMs, but I make it a rule not to keep sending them if I get no response. I'm here mainly to flirt and read or talk about something erotic so I can get turned on. I like chatting when aroused.

I wonder if women are here for the same reason sometimes.
Maybe most women just want the guys to share something real before talking about the bedroom.

Finally, I realize that many here are just serious writers. I enjoy doing the role-play stories, except when my inner-editor gets in my ear and the writing becomes work.

 

[barefootgirl69]

But, half the fun of lit is finding a way to say hello to people...maybe seeing that they are new to Lit...(how many of you have received a random WELCOME TO THE PLAYGROUND message when you showed up?) or trolling the "How many PMs did you receive" thread, and finding someone who hasn't had any today, or all week...and send one, just to "see" their face light up with a message.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm crazy, but it doesn't cost anything to just say hello and invite people to be more outgoing and join threads; or to tell them that they've made you laugh, or that you appreciate them (YDAHECNOT, you are awesome!) Or maybe I just talk too much! LOL

 

[AKentuckyLady]

But, half the fun of lit is finding a way to say hello to people...maybe seeing that they are new to Lit...(how many of you have received a random WELCOME TO THE PLAYGROUND message when you showed up?) or trolling the "How many PMs did you receive" thread, and finding someone who hasn't had any today, or all week...and send one, just to "see" their face light up with a message.

Maybe I'm wrong, maybe I'm crazy, but it doesn't cost anything to just say hello and invite people to be more outgoing and join threads; or to tell them that they've made you laugh, or that you appreciate them (YDAHECNOT, you are awesome!) Or maybe I just talk too much! LOL

I've sent random PM's when I see someone post they haven't gotten anything, so I'm with you there. I never got a "welcome to the playground" message so I think that would have been nice. I just tentatively started posting and soon had a flood.

What's funny to me is that people that have been gone and now come back and see a post of mine will send me a PM saying welcome - I guess in the scheme of things, having only been posting for three months still makes me a newbie

And you are very good at being the Playground Ambassador!

 

[sweet_chelle]

They started coming just a few minutes after I signed up lol

It's hard to feel sincerity there! At least half of them are pre-written lines that I'm sure are sent to everyone. Somehow you can just.....probably because they all say how interesting they think you are without even knowing you.

A lot of the others are just too short or ambiguous to even find a response to. Some are really presumptuous about what they want the two of you to get up to, before you even know each other.

Some are really nice though!

 

[thejabber27]

They started coming just a few minutes after I signed up lol

It's hard to feel sincerity there! At least half of them are pre-written lines that I'm sure are sent to everyone. Somehow you can just.....probably because they all say how interesting they think you are without even knowing you.

A lot of the others are just too short or ambiguous to even find a response to. Some are really presumptuous about what they want the two of you to get up to, before you even know each other.

Some are really nice though!

From all accounts this seems to be the general experience from women here. Kind of sad.

I rarely receive messages unless I send them out. XD Less than 10 a year are not initiated by me.

 

[RubenesqueAphrodite]

oh! I have an opinion on this!
But, I have decided not to share.

 

[IrisAtNight]

.....

 

[IrisAtNight]

.....

 

[anthilly]

I send PM's a few of the ladies above have gotten a message from me. I attempt to talk to people in a thread before, but I've been known to send a random from time to time. I usually keep to a simple introduction at first, and a few open ended question's to keep the conversation going. Being "that" guy is really easy on Pm's but I've made some great friends and had many great conversations from just a simple PM

 

[starrynightin64]

IcePrincess inspired me to send out a random PM a day.
I try to say Thank You to someone whose done something nice.
or send a warm fuzzie to some one who seems to need one.

 

[italianGod]

I'm on here for over a decade. Earlier I used to send lots of PMs to whomever I felt I should talk, or had a liking. But I made sure to be polite and not to dig into their privacy. Ladies were very considerate and the reply % was close to 75

Now that people are all new, the reply % is very low but again, the PMs I send too went down and when ever I'm here, I prefer to talk on boards unless otherwise I see something to be said in person - a hug, a gentle support for a good cause, a shoulder to pat..... good deeds needs appreciation... if not in public, atleast via PMs.

Random PMs are indeed good - I hardly gets few but make sure I replies to the ones I gets. But there are few unanswered ones - I am not judgmental but unless it's too nasty, the sender expects a reply ...

 

[hotinnm]

I haven't been here long so I have not sent any or recieved any. I am so disappointed! I mean what do I gotta do around to get a unsolicited trashy PM? Dammit I'm doing this whole lit thing wrong!