Let's Swing with Elizabeth

[elizabeth22673]

I'm probably the only person who will say this Liz...... but I have to be honest. I think with the problems in your marriage that you've documented in yours and the married thread, going to an 'event' is a MASSIVE MASSIVE mistake.

Not wishing you any ill... just trying to be a friend and tell you what I really think rather than 'you go girl' at whatever you try to do....

Good luck

Hello Friend~

Thank you for telling me what you 'really think'. I really try to mind my own business but hmmmmmm, now you have me wondering....what is more dangerous for a marriage?....:

a) being in love with another person at the same time you are married and obviously and openly spending all your energies and free time with that person?

or.....

b) exploring the physical pleasures with your spouse together?

I guess that is for the debate boards, isn't it DB? So we can take this offline and discuss if you don't mind.

Liz

 

[elizabeth22673]

I will be SO upset if you do NOT enter that contest!!!

(((((((((STORYGUY!!!!)))))))))))))

I will be thinking of YOU my friend if I do

 

[elizabeth22673]

go for it baby!! You'll love it

Thanks hon. Husband and I are excited. We are hoping to find a female that I can play with. .... um or that we could share lol

I'll fill you in

And you know, we are mainly going to have fun and meet friends. This particular group is very diverse and in their 30's, 40's and 50's....professionals and real people. Husband and I talked in length about what kind of group this is. They assured us there is no pressure and no means no, etc. Basically these people are just like us and want to meet friends mostly and the of course play on the side if we click.

I can't wait.

 

[rangers71]

Well Liz I think that going to this event will be good for you. I think that if both people are open to it that sometimes having an open marriage can be good for it. Especially one that is in trouble. If both people agree to it, I see nothing wrong. To me it sould be better to do it this way instead of cheating behind your spouses back. I have seen all kinds of people on tv and magazines who have said that an open marriage or swinging saved them from divorce. Again both people have to agree to it to make it work. ANd to answer your question Liz I think B is the better answer.

ALso you better enter that contest. You are a shoe in.

 

[elizabeth22673]

Well Liz I think that going to this event will be good for you. I think that if both people are open to it that sometimes having an open marriage can be good for it. Especially one that is in trouble. If both people agree to it, I see nothing wrong. To me it sould be better to do it this way instead of cheating behind your spouses back. I have seen all kinds of people on tv and magazines who have said that an open marriage or swinging saved them from divorce. Again both people have to agree to it to make it work. ANd to answer your question Liz I think B is the better answer.

ALso you better enter that contest. You are a shoe in.

Thanks Rangers

You and Storyguy have just about convinced me to enter. Honestly, its not the winning....it's just the participation and having fun lol I want to do something crazy

 

[carrie-on]

HI there...my hubby and I have been swapping with another couple for almost 14 yrs. They are the only people we have played with but we HAVE been talking about me flirting with a friend of ours and seeing what happens. Back to my story though.

I knew the woman from work and had always had a strong attraction to her even though I was married. I didn't know her well at first as we worked different shifts at the hospital but then after 4 yrs we were working the same shift same ward and got to know each other very well. During this time I found out from her that she is bisexual and loves blondes...great for me though i didn't tell her at first that I was drawn to her. We became good friends,our husbands had a lot in common as they played guitar and we would get together many a weekend to play and sing.
Well after a long time flirting and teasing,I told my Hubby that i was interested in her and he told me to go for it. it was my birthday and she came to pick me up for dinner with the 2 of them and Hubby but the guys would meet us because they were working. I wrote a story about it and submitted it here...it's called Happy Birthday to me. But that's not what this is about...Just some History.
Eventually we moved away but still see them often, and on one of our return visits, Hubby told my Ladyfriend that He would like to see me suck her Hubby's cock. (He was supposed to be passed out from drinking but I don't think he was) The 2 of them sat there and talked about it as if i wasn't even there. After about 15 minutes Her Hubby sat up and reached for a cigarette and a Coke and about choked when she told him what my Hubby said. I got up and stood in front of him with my back to him and pulled my denim skirt up until all he could see was my ass framed in garters and stockings,no panties. I bent over as i unbuttoned my skirt and tossed it to the chair,then pulled my shirt off...i had a green crotchless teddy on.
Hubby and my friend watched and encouraged the two of us so I turned around and we arranged ourselves so they could see what i was going to do. I leaned over him and swallowed his cock all the way to my throat and he moaned. I was so into it that i wasn't paying any attention to what the 2 watching were saying but Hubby got up and came over behind me and shoved his cock into me. I came instantly...flooding both of us. Marie joined us and tugged on my nipples while i was being fucked at both ends.It was wonderful and I continued sucking until Micheal came in my mouth and Hubby came in my pussy. This was the first time we had sex that night and many more adventures after but you get the idea.
As someone said earlier,Trust between you and your Hubby is a definate must. Have fun tonight Elizabeth...

 

[elizabeth22673]

HI there...my hubby and I have been swapping with another couple for almost 14 yrs. They are the only people we have played with but we HAVE been talking about me flirting with a friend of ours and seeing what happens. Back to my story though.

I knew the woman from work and had always had a strong attraction to her even though I was married. I didn't know her well at first as we worked different shifts at the hospital but then after 4 yrs we were working the same shift same ward and got to know each other very well. During this time I found out from her that she is bisexual and loves blondes...great for me though i didn't tell her at first that I was drawn to her. We became good friends,our husbands had a lot in common as they played guitar and we would get together many a weekend to play and sing.
Well after a long time flirting and teasing,I told my Hubby that i was interested in her and he told me to go for it. it was my birthday and she came to pick me up for dinner with the 2 of them and Hubby but the guys would meet us because they were working. I wrote a story about it and submitted it here...it's called Happy Birthday to me. But that's not what this is about...Just some History.
Eventually we moved away but still see them often, and on one of our return visits, Hubby told my Ladyfriend that He would like to see me suck her Hubby's cock. (He was supposed to be passed out from drinking but I don't think he was) The 2 of them sat there and talked about it as if i wasn't even there. After about 15 minutes Her Hubby sat up and reached for a cigarette and a Coke and about choked when she told him what my Hubby said. I got up and stood in front of him with my back to him and pulled my denim skirt up until all he could see was my ass framed in garters and stockings,no panties. I bent over as i unbuttoned my skirt and tossed it to the chair,then pulled my shirt off...i had a green crotchless teddy on.
Hubby and my friend watched and encouraged the two of us so I turned around and we arranged ourselves so they could see what i was going to do. I leaned over him and swallowed his cock all the way to my throat and he moaned. I was so into it that i wasn't paying any attention to what the 2 watching were saying but Hubby got up and came over behind me and shoved his cock into me. I came instantly...flooding both of us. Marie joined us and tugged on my nipples while i was being fucked at both ends.It was wonderful and I continued sucking until Micheal came in my mouth and Hubby came in my pussy. This was the first time we had sex that night and many more adventures after but you get the idea.
As someone said earlier,Trust between you and your Hubby is a definate must. Have fun tonight Elizabeth...

wow, thank you for your experience! sounds like you guys met a wonderful couple. husband and i are so flirty today, its funny.

 

[Guest]

Hello Friend~

Thank you for telling me what you 'really think'. I really try to mind my own business but hmmmmmm, now you have me wondering....what is more dangerous for a marriage?....:

a) being in love with another person at the same time you are married and obviously and openly spending all your energies and free time with that person?

or.....

b) exploring the physical pleasures with your spouse together?

I guess that is for the debate boards, isn't it DB? So we can take this offline and discuss if you don't mind.

Liz

Ah... that was bitchy and uncalled for. I could really say some hurtful things now. But I won't.

OK Liz

'You go girl!"

And no... I won't take it online. Bye.

 

[starman2003]

Ah... that was bitchy and uncalled for. I could really say some hurtful things now. But I won't.

OK Liz

'You go girl!"

And no... I won't take it online. Bye.

DirtyBear, who was being bitchy? Not Liz, for sure! But your bull was uncalled for! If you have a personal experience like this that didn't work out for you, then, so sorry. But, for some of us, this works.

I've talked to Liz, myself, and my wife and her have a lot in common.
We think that Liz and her husband are in the same boat we were in a few years back. They are treating this the right way - as fun. They can take care of themselves. Most of us do.

So, next time, please keep the whiney comments to yourself, please. You didn't make yourself look good, trust me.

 

[nctoddmc]

And you forgot the first rule of lit, DB. It's fun, virtual, and NOT r/l. We don't care if you bitch and whine, just don't do it here.

 

[Guest]

DirtyBear, who was being bitchy? Not Liz, for sure! But your bull was uncalled for! If you have a personal experience like this that didn't work out for you, then, so sorry. But, for some of us, this works.

I've talked to Liz, myself, and my wife and her have a lot in common.
We think that Liz and her husband are in the same boat we were in a few years back. They are treating this the right way - as fun. They can take care of themselves. Most of us do.

So, next time, please keep the whiney comments to yourself, please. You didn't make yourself look good, trust me.

OK... that's told me.

 

[Guest]

And you forgot the first rule of lit, DB. It's fun, virtual, and NOT r/l. We don't care if you bitch and whine, just don't do it here.

If it's 'fun'... why all the posts whining about how low everyone is? Hmmm.....?

I'll shut up from now on. No probs....

And people don't know how often I've been there for Liz... you really don't, so perhaps I know a bit more. Hmmm...?

It was just a bit of advice to a friend. That's all. I'm not Satan. I know it won't be taken. It never is. I just had to try. I won't again... I promise, and sorry for spoiling the flow of the thread.

 

[Buttah]

And you forgot the first rule of lit, DB. It's fun, virtual, and NOT r/l. We don't care if you bitch and whine, just don't do it here.

DB was whining? She asked in the first post what people thought, he told her. Yeesh ...

 

[foofoo416]

And you forgot the first rule of lit, DB. It's fun, virtual, and NOT r/l. We don't care if you bitch and whine, just don't do it here.

I don't understand this post, sorry. How is this a virtual discussion? This is regarding a r/l event, r/l people, and a r/l friend who was concerned. There are threads on here that are all about fantasy and r/p, but I never took this to be one. People come here and share their r/l thoughts and feelings and experiences. Where is the virtual part of that? Personally, I have nothing against swinging or open marriages if both parties are 100% consenting and in agreement. If that is their choice, and it comes out with good results, then yay for them for finding what works. But if a r/l friend is worried about a person and concerned for them, and that person has asked for thoughts and invited comments, then I don't see your point at all. I am with butterscotch on this. Where is the whining? Where is the bitching? He stated his concerns for her personally, how it would effect her in r/l, and that was it. He was trying to be honest, and a friend. It's just the way he is, when he is asked for an opinion he will be honest about it. If it doesn't mesh with what you want to hear, there is no reason to get aggressive. All he said was that he thought it was a mistake that she may regret. It was his personal opinion. Albeit an unpopular one here, it was simply the truth. I hope that all does go well, that it is what they need. Some couples find that it really does make things better. But sometimes there is a downside, and that was all he was addressing out of concern.

 

[Buttah]

I don't understand this post, sorry. How is this a virtual discussion? This is regarding a r/l event, r/l people, and a r/l friend who was concerned. There are threads on here that are all about fantasy and r/p, but I never took this to be one. People come here and share their r/l thoughts and feelings and experiences. Where is the virtual part of that? Personally, I have nothing against swinging or open marriages if both parties are 100% consenting and in agreement. If that is their choice, and it comes out with good results, then yay for them for finding what works. But if a r/l friend is worried about a person and concerned for them, and that person has asked for thoughts and invited comments, then I don't see your point at all. I am with butterscotch on this. Where is the whining? Where is the bitching? He stated his concerns for her personally, how it would effect her in r/l, and that was it. He was trying to be honest, and a friend. It's just the way he is, when he is asked for an opinion he will be honest about it. If it doesn't mesh with what you want to hear, there is no reason to get aggressive. All he said was that he thought it was a mistake that she may regret. It was his personal opinion. Albeit an unpopular one here, it was simply the truth. I hope that all does go well, that it is what they need. Some couples find that it really does make things better. But sometimes there is a downside, and that was all he was addressing out of concern.

I just figure if someone you call a friend takes the time to post his concerns, you should accept them gracefully. You may not agree but you say thank you my friend and let it go. I don't see DB coming off in a bad light, far from it. You have a good one Foof, treasure him....

 

[foofoo416]

I just figure if someone you call a friend takes the time to post his concerns, you should accept them gracefully. You may not agree but you say thank you my friend and let it go. I don't see DB coming off in a bad light, far from it. You have a good one Foof, treasure him....

Thank you. Believe me, I do.

 

[emacat]

And you forgot the first rule of lit, DB. It's fun, virtual, and NOT r/l. We don't care if you bitch and whine, just don't do it here.

I agree with butterscotch- where's the whining from DB? What he expressed was his opinion as a friend. DB is a great guy who cares a lot about his friends and their well-being. To be attacked about his personal life for expressing an opinion would tell me that perhaps there are some people who really aren't worth his time and effort.
But Liz, "You Go, Girl."

 

[elizabeth22673]

So...I thought it was clear in my opening post that I really didn't want to talk about should people or shouldn't people swing for. Because really, that is a thread all in itself as far as I'm concerned. I visualized this as more of:

-do you think about it
-have you done it
-your experience or advice to newbies if you've tried it
-do you want to talk about it
-how far would you go, etc etc

I guess that is why I took offense and I shouldn't have. When i first read DB's post, I felt he was attacking me and was hurt. You have to realize, before he posted that message on my thread he sent me something privately that was much stronger in words than his actual post. I reacted to it and I'm sorry.

After re-reading posts, I wish now I would've just let it go and talked to him off the thread and politely asked him to not debate the issue.

I would like to apologize to Dirty Bear for my reply to him if it hurt him or anyone that he is close to.

I will take my subscription off this thread now if anyone else wants to keep it going. It was pretty much a sinker anyway.

Liz

 

[Guest]

You have to realize, before he posted that message on my thread he sent me something privately that was much stronger in words than his actual post. I reacted to it and I'm sorry.



Liz

I just have to reply to this slur.... here is the 'awful' message I sent (cut and pasted), which was pretty much what I said here. I don't like lies.

just have to say liz that going to an 'event' does not seem like a very good idea to sort a troubled marriage out. Big mistake. Bye. ***** (my name is blanked out)

 

[BlackWolf65]

I want to stand outside of the specific debate here, meaning I do not want to address any one person in particular. But I *do* want to address the topic itself, in general, and I'd like to throw out some opinions, for what they're worth...

As has been stated already, if a swapping arrangement, open marriage, call it whatever you'd like, is an arrangement that takes place between a group of willing and consenting adults, and everyone is happy about it, then in my opinion, and it would seem that many agree, there is nothing wrong with it at all. But there are some very important things to keep in mind.

The sexual ego can be a very fragile thing, and it can be easily bruised. If one gets involved in a situation where other people are involved in your sexual relationship, there is a potential for some very damaging things to occur. I can envision a situation where, after such an incident has taken place, one partner or the other just isn't up to having sex one night. It would be very easy, especially in a marriage that already has some problems that are related to sex, for this to be interpreted as, "He/she would rather be fucking him/her than me."

From a personal point of view, I share in that very common fantasy that many men seem to have: Being with two women, watching them, participating, etc. I don't know why we seem to love that fantasy, but many men do. But I'll tell you, if the opportunity should present itself, *EITHER* in cyber or in R/L, I would pass it up. In the first place, I don't do *casual sex* in R/L. Which means, that I will only *play* with DF. And I could not bring myself to allow a third in. I do not want to share her with anyone, male or female. So, as fond as I am of that particular fantasy, I won't go there. I know myself well enough to know that my jealous streak would surface with a vengeance.

I don't want to get into the whole debate about whether or not human beings are "designed" to be monogamous. That's better addressed in the debate threads. But I do know that in every marriage ceremony I've ever attended, there is a stated vow to be just that. On one hand, if two people go into this marriage both knowing that they do not intend to be monogamous, and they have discussed it, etc., and they're comfortable with it, fine. But what about the couple who enters their marriage with every expectation that they will be both remain forever monogamous? And finally, one day, because they're having problems within the marriage, they agree to explore this avenue? Isn't there the very real danger of feeling a sense of being betrayed, no matter how mutually consentual the whole situation is?

Let's take another angle. A couple, married for some years, discovers that for whatever reason, their sexual relationship isn't satisfying them. For argument's sake, let's say that it's the man who first steps outside the marriage. The couple has talked, and it is mutually agreed upon. And he goes out, and has an encounter with another woman. IMHO, there is a potential for damage to both. The man, because no matter how he may try to justify it, he still has his vows somewhere in his head, and he has the potential guilt to live with. The woman, because she will quite possibly feel as though she isn't somehow good enough to satisfy her husband.

In any event, I just think that it's really not the best idea. I know that it can work for some, but I think it takes an already *very* secure marriage to do so. I don't think it's wise to use it as a way to "save" your marriage.

I'll shut up now. Go ahead and blast me...

Editing to add:

Yes. In the relationship that I am now involved in, I stepped outside of my marriage. And while I don't have a lot of guilt over it, there is some - which is exactly what I was referring to above. Many of you may already know the circumstances. But for the record, the divorce had already been agreed upon by both my wife and I *before* I went there. Further, she had been involved with someone outside of the marriage for well over two years before the decision to divorce was reached. And yet, there is still a sense of guilt over stepping out of the marriage before the divorce was final.

I will not presume to speak for DF. If she chooses to do so, that's her decision. She follows my posts when she gets back online after the weekend, so I know she'll see this.

 

[BlackWolf65]

So...I thought it was clear in my opening post that I really didn't want to talk about should people or shouldn't people swing for. Because really, that is a thread all in itself as far as I'm concerned. I visualized this as more of:

-do you think about it
-have you done it
-your experience or advice to newbies if you've tried it
-do you want to talk about it
-how far would you go, etc etc

I guess that is why I took offense and I shouldn't have. When i first read DB's post, I felt he was attacking me and was hurt. You have to realize, before he posted that message on my thread he sent me something privately that was much stronger in words than his actual post. I reacted to it and I'm sorry.

After re-reading posts, I wish now I would've just let it go and talked to him off the thread and politely asked him to not debate the issue.

I would like to apologize to Dirty Bear for my reply to him if it hurt him or anyone that he is close to.

I will take my subscription off this thread now if anyone else wants to keep it going. It was pretty much a sinker anyway.

Liz

And the consequences, real or potential, should be a part of the discussion as you asked it to be, Liz... Pointing out possible consequences are a legitimate part of the discussion, more so if they should come from someone who may have tried it. Not everyone who has tried has had a positive experience, I'd bet.

 

[elizabeth22673]

.....nm

 

[hdlynnette]

And the consequences, real or potential, should be a part of the discussion as you asked it to be, Liz... Pointing out possible consequences are a legitimate part of the discussion, more so if they should come from someone who may have tried it. Not everyone who has tried has had a positive experience, I'd bet.

I totally agree with BW here.

And I can't stand by silently about this issue. I think the outbursts against DB were uncalled for here. He was just being what he is....A VERY GOOD FRIEND. But then again...I've questioned your definition of 'friend' for a while now.

 

[bowtie4u]

I totally agree with BW here.

And I can't stand by silently about this issue. I think the outbursts against DB were uncalled for here. He was just being what he is....A VERY GOOD FRIEND. But then again...I've questioned your definition of 'friend' for a while now.

Amen Sister

 

[JustWanderful]

Late finding this thread

But been there, done that...would I recommend it? For some, yes, for others, absolutely not! Wife and I have played and swapped a few times...us and my best friend fooled around together for 15 years or more, and never a regret...I knew she wasn't interested in him for anything other than his cock, as far as that goes...and he wasn't interested in trying to sneak one in when I was gone or anything...and even though it has been 5-6 years since we all fooled around, we are all stilltight friends.
BUT...her, her best friend, and I also did the same...its great too, my only regret is that it was only 2-3 times...but then my friend started seeing her friend...mffm a couple times...but then the 2 of them started trying to play games...he said-she said kind of crap....they had a miserable relationship and couldn't live without fighting and denegrating each other constantly, and tried to drag us into it every time...boiled over and we had a huge blow-up 5-6 years ago...took 2-3 years until me and my best friend even spoke again, and same with the gals...everyone has moved on, the 4 of us don't get together, but there is more there than sex, so the friendships healed and survive...
Myself, I would have no interest in a swinger's club. Nothing against it, but not for me. I love seeing my lady being pleased, or seeing her please someone, but prefer to get to know someone better than the anonymity of a club...
Now, if you have a single jealous bone in your body, or if your SO does, then don't let it go further than fantasyland...I have seen people over the years absolutley destroy a fine relationship because of a case of the hornies without thinking it through...just because it sounds exciting or looks good in a porno flick doesn't mean that just anyone has the ability to separate love and sex enough to survive...and to me, that's what it takes - the ability to separate love and sex...while I love my best friend, I wouldn't "love" him that way (or any other...its not a guy-guy thing ever)...and while I might fuck his GF or wife, or whatever, I wouldn't be doing it out of love...And if I was ever worried about my wife falling for someone, male or female, beyond the boundaries of that particular encounter, then it would never happen...
Hope this long ramble makes sense...and I hope you two enjoy eachother and whatever else you may decide to get into!!