Let's Go Assassinate Cortez, I've Got A Time Machine

Marxist

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Let's suppose you could go back in time to 1519 and as Hernan Cortez steps off the boat you're waiting for him with a deer rifle in the brush. Do you fire and save the Aztec civilization? Do you help him lead a clean invasion of Mexico, losing fewer Spanish lives?

Why? Why not?

What problems or solutions in the continuum of time have you interrupted or fostered?
 
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Drink the sangria, I say. If you have seen one Cortez, you have seen them all.
 
Tough question. I mean the Aztecs were kind of sick people if they were being portrayed correctly in my history books. Human sacrifice does not endear me to a culture. On the other hand genocide kind of turns me off too. Hmmm.
 
SugerWhite said:
No. A single deer rifle can't stop on coming Europeans.:)

I think a good shot could send Cortez to hell early and delay the European arrival for some time. It might even lead to vigilance if the Aztecs can get an early glimpse at horses, cannons, and rifles.
 
Marxist said:
Let's suppose you could go back in time to 1519 and as Hernan Cortez steps off the boat you're waiting for him with a deer rifle in the brush. Do you fire and save the Aztec civilization? Do you help him lead a clean invasion of Mexico, losing fewer Spanish lives?

Why? Why not?

What problems or solutions in the continuum of time have you interrupted or fostered?

HOW ABOUT A BAZOOKA SHELL INTO THEIR BOAT.
Get all of them.
 
Re: Re: Let's Go Assassinate Cortez, I've Got A Time Machine

Pheonyx said:


HOW ABOUT A BAZOOKA SHELL INTO THEIR BOAT.
Get all of them.

Drastic. But not necessary.

The Spanish got their asses handed to them after initial contact. In fact, most perished in retreat as they tried to sneak out of the city in the dead of night. It was CORTEZ and his ship building friend that came back and ran a blockade on Mexico City (it's on a lake) and starved the people into submission.

Cortez was a crafty motherfucker.
 
Fuck Hitler.

Let's go to the UK and get Yoyotwat in the ass with salt pellets.
 
KillerMuffin said:
Fuck Hitler.

Let's go to the UK and get Yoyotwat in the ass with salt pellets.

fuck yoyotwat.


lets go to canada and get the prime minister.
 
I'm going to add that the above IS NOT A THREAT. Merely a suggestion for a fun weekend trip.
 
Re:Marxist

Originally posted by Marxist
I think a good shot could send Cortez to hell early and delay the European arrival for some time. It might even lead to vigilance if the Aztecs can get an early glimpse at horses, cannons, and rifles.
Europeans were regarded as gods by the Aztecs. The year 1519AD consided with the Aztecan year in which the arrival of gods had been prophesized, or something like that. So, in theory, an assasin can take out Cortez and a few others, but still, the aztecs would have viewed the rest of Europeans as gods.

Then again, seeing Cortez drops dead, they may change their views.

If I remember correctly, the Aztec leader (Montezma?) was kind of particulerly paranoed about the prophecy. :)
 
Problem Child said:
Fuck Cortez. Let's go to the beer hall in Munich and get A. Hitler.

But do you unleash an UNcrazed giant by doing so? Maybe they take longer to arm themselves, don't turn against the Jews, and eventually develop jets and the A-bomb...

Hitler didn't invent the Hun attitude.
 
I would really be more concerned with the native peoples of North America who had a more civilized if not as technically advanced culture in my mind.
 
Re: Re:Marxist

SugerWhite said:

Europeans were regarded as gods by the Aztecs. The year 1519AD consided with the Aztecan year in which the arrival of gods had been prophesized, or something like that. So, in theory, an assasin can take out Cortez and a few others, but still, the aztecs would have viewed the rest of Europeans as gods.

Then again, seeing Cortez drops dead, they may change their views.

If I remember correctly, the Aztec leader (Montezma?) was kind of particulerly paranoed about the prophecy. :)

Wlak up to cortez and crew in a wild outfit and shoot the fuckers point blank with a hand gun.

The Aztecs get their god wars and cortez never goes home.
 
Marxist said:


But do you unleash an UNcrazed giant by doing so? Maybe they take longer to arm themselves, don't turn against the Jews, and eventually develop jets and the A-bomb...

Hitler didn't invent the Hun attitude.

True there. Germany didn't get set right until after WWII, and before then it was just waiting to go off. Hitler helped, but ultimately all it could take was the right asshole to get in office, and we all know how easy that is.
 
Marxist said:


But do you unleash an UNcrazed giant by doing so? Maybe they take longer to arm themselves, don't turn against the Jews, and eventually develop jets and the A-bomb...

Hitler didn't invent the Hun attitude.

P.S.--Maybe they avoid the trap of turning against Russia as well...
 
Marxist said:


But do you unleash an UNcrazed giant by doing so? Maybe they take longer to arm themselves, don't turn against the Jews, and eventually develop jets and the A-bomb...

Hitler didn't invent the Hun attitude.


That's crazy. How can you not kill Hitler? You know, the most evil man in History? From the moment he took power he put all his energy into re-arming Germany with the intention of taking over the world, or as much of it as he could get away with.

The old saying "The devil you know is better than the one you don't" is crap IMHO. At least in this case.
 
Re: Re: Re:Marxist

Pheonyx said:


Wlak up to cortez and crew in a wild outfit and shoot the fuckers point blank with a hand gun.

The Aztecs get their god wars and cortez never goes home.

Note to self: Keep sharp objects away from Pheonyx.


Good idea. What happens next? Does this delay the settlement of the New World? How long? Does this lead to a crisis in the Aztec government and its collapse anyway? Is Old World disease never introduced and the New World explodes in population before the next batch of pale faces?
 
Marxist said:


P.S.--Maybe they avoid the trap of turning against Russia as well...


Yeah, and maybe they never go to war and invade Russia, and 50 million people don't die, and the Germans figure out how to peacefully co-exist with the rest of Europe somehow. Maybe the fact that 20 million Russians don't die makes them less bitter and afraid of the west and there never is a Cold War.
 
Problem Child said:



Yeah, and maybe they never go to war and invade Russia, and 50 million people don't die, and the Germans figure out how to peacefully co-exist with the rest of Europe somehow. Maybe the fact that 20 million Russians don't die makes them less bitter and afraid of the west and there never is a Cold War.

Possible. I really do think that the scenario of Harris' "Fatherland" is more likely. Russia is a war of eternal vigilance. The Jews are enslaved silently. America makes the German Empire (Europe and N. Africa) a trading partner. The only problem I saw with that book was the fact Hitler ran the whole thing. Not likely. He was nuts.
 
time machine, schmime machine

Yeah...one of you will step on a butterfly and screw everything up anyhow.
 
Marxist said:


I think a good shot could send Cortez to hell early and delay the European arrival for some time. It might even lead to vigilance if the Aztecs can get an early glimpse at horses, cannons, and rifles.

Doubtful.
 
Re: time machine, schmime machine

Laurel said:
Yeah...one of you will step on a butterfly and screw everything up anyhow.

That was the butterfly that was going to pollinate the descendant of the flower that would many generations later be carried to California to make a Del Taco worker sneeze green snot in a taco ordered by Laurel and make her immune to an infestation of Feline Distemper.

Pretty sneaky sis...
 
riff said:


Doubtful.

Hey look, a city of thousands got smashed by a wounded shipbuilder and Cortez after they had dragged themselves from battle and regrouped in a grove far far from the city. They cut down the trees, dragged them to the lake, reassembled them and laid seige for 80 days to Mexico City's three causeways.

Nothing is really impossible.
 
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