Lessons I learned from Holiday Songs

[3113]

This was a fun thread last year, so I brought it back afresh for this year.

Being that, outside of the safety of our home, we've likely been hearing nothing but holiday music at the grocery store if no where else, and being that we've likely got many of these songs stuck in our heads now, I'd like to analyze and examine what lessons we might have learned from listening so continuously and carefully to these particular and exclusive tunes....

For example: I have learned that, evidently, partridges like to nest in pear trees.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I've learned that "telling scary ghost stories" is an important part of the Christmas tradition.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Seasonal recipes!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9Y0GinK7NY

 

[Tio_Narratore]

I have a recording of a, I believe, 18th century, possibly earlier, British Christmas song that seems just right for Lit. I don't think there's a way to post it here. If anyone would like to hear it, I can email it to you. (Unless someone can tell me how to post it). Here's the first verse...

"Come Robin, Ralph, and little Harry
And merry Thomas to our green
Where we shall meet with Bridget and Sary
And the finest girls that e'er were seen
Then hey for Christmas a once year
When we have cakes, with ale and beer
For at Christmas every day
Young men and maids may dance away"

 

[glynndah]

Virgins are round.

 

[lance gt]

I've learned that exploring the fruit sections in stores, there really are sugar plums, but I've never had dreams of them dancing in my head. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I can't imagine getting excited over some fruit doing God knows whatever kind of dance, being a healthy thing. To each their own I guess.

 

[CrimsonMaiden]

If you're sick of Christmas shopping and the whole holiday experience, don't worry. God will strike a little boy's mother with a terminal illness JUST to teach you the true meaning of Christmas!!

(Sorry if this sounds a little snarky. I've just heard that song The Christmas Shoes several times over the last few days, so I'm a little annoyed by it).

Really? Hubby mentioned today that he thought it's odd we haven't heard it yet (and we haven't. Not once.)

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I've learned that exploring the fruit sections in stores, there really are sugar plums, but I've never had dreams of them dancing in my head. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not. I can't imagine getting excited over some fruit doing God knows whatever kind of dance, being a healthy thing. To each their own I guess.

I think back when the poem was written sugarplums were candies, and deuced expensive ones at that. Since the family would only spring for such upscale treats at Christmas, that's when the kiddies would be dreaming of them.

Other interpretations are, of course, welcome.


p.s. I learned that when you spill Wassail, is gets all over the entire town.

 

[OnlyByMoonlight]

I have learned that Santa has a sh*t list (from "Merry Merry Merry Frickin Christmas" the greatest Xmas song of all time, well next to Colbert's) and I think I'm on it.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Virgins are round.

Yon Virgins are round.

I always wondered what a "yon" virgin was...

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Yawn Virgin?

 

[Handley_Page]

Yon Virgins are round.

I always wondered what a "yon" virgin was...

I think it is a short form of "Yonder", as in 'over there'.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I think it is a short form of "Yonder", as in 'over there'.

........

 

[lance gt]

I think it is a short form of "Yonder", as in 'over there'.

It might be a derivative of young, as in young virgins. Seems more apt an explanation for the term.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

It might be a derivative of young, as in young virgins. Seems more apt an explanation for the term.

Lance! Is that really you? GAWD, you are gorgeous!

 

[JT750]

I learned that Santa is a voyeur... watching children while they sleep also speaks of pedophelia.


What a perv.

 

[glynndah]

Reindeer have paws.

 

[OnlyByMoonlight]

Reindeer have paws.

I thought they had hooves?

 

[YoursSINSerely]

One of them definately has a red nose.

 

[Isid]

And i believe that nose was glowing

 

[Boxlicker101]

Yon Virgins are round.

I always wondered what a "yon" virgin was...

I think that was actually John Virgin, and he was from Scandavania.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I think that was actually John Virgin, and he was from Scandavania.

Ør mebbe Minneapolis. Yah, syur, you betcha!

 

[YoursSINSerely]

And, what about grandma getting run over by a reindeer? WTF? How could a woman be laying in the snow all night and no one had missed her? Where the hell was grandpa?

I'm a grandmother. I'm hoping somebody would have come looking for me long before day break.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

And, what about grandma getting run over by a reindeer? WTF? How could a woman be laying in the snow all night and no one had missed her? Where the hell was grandpa?

I'm a grandmother. I'm hoping somebody would have come looking for me long before day break.

Don't you remember the song?
Grandma got run over by a reindeer,
Walking home from our house, Christmas Eve.

Grandpa was driving the sleigh

 

[Boxlicker101]

And, what about grandma getting run over by a reindeer? WTF? How could a woman be laying in the snow all night and no one had missed her? Where the hell was grandpa?

I'm a grandmother. I'm hoping somebody would have come looking for me long before day break.

I must agree that somebody should have checked on her or, better yet, walked her home. She had been drinking too much eggnog, and her family begged her not to go, but she insisted that she needed her meds, so she walked out into the snow, where she got run over by the reindeer. They didn't find her until daylight the next day.

Either Grandpa was senile and didn't miss her or, as JJ suggested, he was the one driving the sleigh. He didn't seem to mind her death very much. Everybody was proud of him because he spent the next few days watching football, drinking beer and playing cards with Cousin Mel. Personally, I wouldn't be surprised to learn he ran her over deliberately and arranged the scene to look like an accident.