Lesbian bar

[temp256]

I'll be going to my first lesbian bar on thursday, and I was wondering if anyone can give me some advice. I want to get hit on. I want to meet people. I don't want to end up spending the whole time sitting and looking around bored like every other club I've been to. I'm quite desperate to start dating too, but I don't have the slightest idea how to start.

So how do I accomplish these things? I'm naturally very quiet and shy, which makes things all the harder. I would love for someone else to take the initiative and start chatting with me, though I don't really expect it to happen. How do I get people to notice me?

I also had the thought my friend and I might look like a couple, thus keeping people at bay. How do I make it clear I'm single and looking to meet people?

I'm lost when it comes to social activities...

 

[SexyHoney123]

I have the same prob! I look straight and I don't want to change the way I am. Maybe I should wear a 'minge muncher' tshirt!

 

[kinkyknickers]

I'm straight looking (is that a look?) bi. I used to go to bars with my gay friends and was always hit on.

Important, and you've heard it a hundred times before, relax, be yourself. People don't need their "gaydars" on in a gay bar. If you're comfortable enough to be there, then you're comfortable enough to be hit on.

Gay women have all types, you're bound to fit someone's fancy.

If all else fails and you want to avoid chit chat you could try the hanky code....

KK

 

[bisexualsmoker]

See if thereis a dart board or something,and start playing that.You'll meet
people that way.Play pool.that's another way, though watch out that
you don't get hustled!It can get expensive.

 

[gloriann]

Don't be afraid to start up a conversation yourself. Talk to the bartenders, too, if they're not too busy. I was a bartender and part of the job is to get patrons talking to one another.

 

[Etoile]

I agree, talking to a bartender is a good idea. Beyond that, I'm not sure...DC doesn't have lesbian bars anymore (well, only one) so I don't go anymore.

 

[thetwolezz]

Club

Our local club actually has a myspace account. I found many friends by adding the club and then checking out their friends.

 

[temp256]

Well, it was very disappointing. It was no more than a bunch of little tables, each with a little group huddled around them, talking to themselves. No games or activities, no way of meeting people. No one even looked at me except the waiters, and they obviously had boyfriends. I could hardly place my order over the blaring music.

I'm only 21, but the median age looked to be about 16. They might have been, considering they never checked IDs.

So, I spent the night sitting and doing nothing. Which is no different from every other night. And to make the night just a bit more depressing, on the way out I saw a flier for a big trans festival--earlier in the day.

*Sigh*

 

[gloriann]

The myspace account thing is a good idea; bars often post their activities there. You may have gone on an off night; don't lose hope.

 

[Xelebes]

When you go to a gay/lesbian bar, don't expect anything to happen. Just sit, enjoy yourself, talk to the waitresses. I mean, sure, you're looking for something, but enjoy the off-nights for what they are and socialise. Some of the cliques are bound to notice you.

 

[emap]

I am sorry I didn't catch this after you posted.

Anyway, there are two things you always want to do at a bar or club to get hit on. Well not both, one or other, both works great but generally you can't be shy, or sober depending.

First thing, smile and not face the bar. If your wearing a skirt, spread your legs a little, give them a teensy hint of what you got under the skirt. If your wearing pants, sit like a guy. No seriously, if you sit all demure and closed up they all seem to assume your not looking or in a relationship. I suppose does not help I'm tall for a gal so many guys didn't really pay much attention to me.

Second thing, requires you are either not shy, or three sheets to the wind.
Not terribly hard, just you go and wander about spot a cutey and go up to them. Start talking and if you want a relationship don't go straight to would you like to fuck me. Well if your going after a guy it may work out for getting a relationship to.

Sometimes it works better if you go up to them and ask if they would like to dance with you. Gives you an excuse to get touchy feely, well not to orgasm touchy feely but a nice touchy feely, and you can ask about the person, most people tend to relax while dancing.

 

[nolaboy]

I agree, talking to a bartender is a good idea. Beyond that, I'm not sure...DC doesn't have lesbian bars anymore (well, only one) so I don't go anymore.

Wow! I cant believe that! New Orleans doesn't have any lesbian bars either. I've always found that very strange! Whats with the mass-extinction of the lesbian bars? some sort of lesbian asteroid collision?

 

[ShyLana]

love your advice. I am going to San Fran end of month and figure that is the best place to "come out" for the weekend. Bi gal here.

Kisses.