Left at the alter (Closed to garajd)

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Amelia Jones (Mia)
25
Editor in chief
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Mia thought this was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, today was the day she married the love of her life, the man she had spent the last 6 years of her life with, she thought everything was perfect between the two of them until... her father knocks on the door at the back of the church where she is preparing to walk down the aisle. She tells him to come on in, thinking he was just coming to tell her that it was time...

Time her ass... who is late to there own wedding, she looked at her father saying what do you mean he's not here, thinking maybe this was just some joke, her father always did this sort of thing to her, but now was not one of those days, she told him if he was joking she would get mom to kick his ass... he told her he would never joke on her wedding day.

Okay she thought has someone tried to call him, and her father responded of course, both he and her mother had along with his brother... Mia was worried, he was never late, and she knew he would never be late for there own wedding, something had to be wrong. She asked her father to get her cell phone from her mom and she tried getting no answer this was no longer funny anymore.

Her father left to try and see what was going on before his best friend came knocking on her door ten minutes later, she asked him to come in and he handed her a letter.. and she asked where he was.. he told her to just read the letter, hating that he had to this to her on her wedding day.. she could feel the sudden panic building.. oh no oh no he really couldn't be leaving her on there wedding day.. at the alter, no he wouldn't.

"I'm sorry Mia..." Jack said as he left the room leaving her alone with the letter.. as she unfolded it and started to read.....

 

[garajd]

Matthew Anderson (Matt)
32
Financial executive with the family business
==============

Don't know what is going on with me, but I have been unable to face myself with the decision I have made, until this morning . . . supposed to be my wedding day. We had the bachelor party last night at Jack's apartment, but once I got home, it all came tumbling down around me. I could not go through with the wedding. Convinced that it would all blow up in a few months, I got up early this morning and have been struggling ever since to get this letter written.

Mia . . . I know this letter is the last thing you ever expected to see today. And, I don't know if I can make any sense of what has brought me to this point.

I cannot go through with our wedding today. You deserve so much more than I can ever give you. The only think I can give you is the promise that this has absolutely nothing to do with you or your family. They have been absolutely wonderful and welcoming to me. You have never done or said anything to cause me to doubt your love and desire for me.

Honestly, Mia, the past few weeks, I have been looking in the mirror at me. And I don't particularly like what Ihave seen. There are some dark corners in my life that would only lead to heartache for you, and I can't take you there.

I will have my attorneys contact for father and will make sure that he is reimbursed for any financial sacrifice he has made for you on this day.

Mia, I still have some very deep feelings for you . . . but I just can't put you through the mess that is my life right now.

Matt

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

She heard her dad knocking on that door, she asked to be alone for a few moments and then she would explain everything to him, she stood and locked the door, she needed to read this, she needed to see what this letter said, she remembered Jack's face, what a coward she thought sending his best friend to give her a fucking letter... On her wedding day at that.

I stand and pace the small room in the back of the church, I feel tears fill my eyes and I haven't even opened the letter yet. I slowly start to unfold the letter, before I set on the floor in the corner of the room, there was a chair, but I just couldn't find myself to sit in it, my dress splays around me. I hold back tears because If not I will never get through reading your letter.

The first part punches me in my face....you were right about that this was the last thing I expected to see today. My hands start to shake, as I try and gain my composure. You can't make sense of this, I cant make fucking sense of this... The man I know wouldn't have left me hanging like this.

The words I have been dreading were there in bold print, and I find myself unable to fight back my tears any longer. I shake my head, your making the decision for me I think to myself, that I deserve more, if I wanted more I wouldn't have spent the last six years of my life on you, with you. I shake my head, the tears rolling freely down my face, my chest is tight, and achy. So it's me then I think to myself... You don't love me...if out were here I'd slap you for that, then why waste six years in me.

I take a deep breath and read on. She was feeling so many things, hurt, anger, sadness, despair. How the hell would you know what I can and can't handle I think to myself.

Money are you fucking kidding me matt do you really think that's what I am going to be worried about, money!! Or even my dad for that matter! If she could scream at him or punch him she would, she hated him right now and she never thought she could feel that way towards him, never.

Deep feelings, what does that even mean that you never loved me you only had feelings for me...was the last six years a lie then.

I reread the letter several times, trying to find a hint.. What had I done to make you fall out of love...to leave me this ....way.

I cant make it and I find myself sobbing in a heap that is the floor I forgot that I have locked the door, I barely hear my dad enter, as he scoops me up from the floor. "He's not coming daddy... He's really not coming." I sob into your shirt. My father says nothing as he takes the letter from my hand, as I sob..."Honey. I-im so sorry... I have to tell the guest." He yells for my mother and she comes in and takes me into her arms, before I know it the wedding is called off, and I am being led back to my parents home and not my usual apartment.

 

[garajd]

Realizing that I have fucked up the best thing that has ever happened to me. I still don't know what I am going to do. Being the CFO for my family business, I can't just leave town. I'm sure once the word gets out that I'm the one who called off the wedding, I'll be the biggest prick in town. Can't imagine there will be anyone who wants to go out with me, definitely not want to get serious with me.

Everyone in town, it seems, knew the two us and always thought of us as a couple. Everyone's sympathy is going to be for you; not even sure how Jack feels about me right now.

Sunday morning . . . getting up and throwing a few clothes in a weekend bag, I head for the family cottage about an hour from town. At least, no on will find me here. Grab a six-pack of beer and some snacks . . . at least I can lose myself in a football game for a few hours . . . until reality sets in again!

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

It had been about five days since the wedding, and I looked like someone that had been hit by a bus, I was grateful to my parents for allowing my to stay with them, being in my apartment only reminded me of you, everything reminded me of you. She remembered having to tell everyone there would be no wedding noone needed the truth right away, so she just told everyone that it was a mutual decision and they just weren't ready yet.

Living in a small town everyone knew your business, but this was her business, she didn't tell her mother or friends about the letter only Jack, Matt, her and her father knew about it, she hated Matt but she wasn't a cruel person, she wouldn't pin the town against him, but they could also make up there own assumptions.

I stay in my old bedroom haven't really eateJror slept, just keep replaying that day over in my head, what could I have done differently.

She looked out the bedroom window... I need to get out eventually, I think to myself knowing if not I am going to go crazy. I sigh and pull a jacket over the tank top and jeans I am wearing, maybe I'll just go and grab a coffee and some bagels and bring them back, though everyone knows right now I should be on my honeymoon.

She left a note letting her parents know she was going out. It was early alot of people wouldn't be out would they, she hoped not the pity looks were starting to get to her... She avoided going out for that reason, that and everywhere she went reminded her of him.

 

[garajd]

I stayed at the cabin for a few days; my dad, president of the company knew where I was. Everyone one else just knew I was out of the office for a few days. By the middle of the week, it was time to come out of hiding and get back to work.

It was fucking uncomfortable when I got in to work. I probably looked like crap and didn't really feel like talking to anyone. Everyone knew about the wedding . . . or no wedding . . . but were either nice enough not to ask, or just afraid to ask.

Settled into my office; my secretary brought me coffee; stack of reports on my desk to deal with; too many e-mail and messages to answer. Jack did call and ask if I wanted to meet for a drink after work. I agreed to meet him at a seedy bar where most people won't recognize me.

After a few drinks, I headed home, picking up Chinese take-out on the way. I managed to eat most of it before falling asleep in front of the tube. Just can't keep your face out of my mind . . . what the fuck was I thinking . . . and what am I going to do now?

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

I was having a hard time over what happened, but I finally decide to go back to my apartment, when I get there so many memories of you flood my mind, and there goes that sinking feeling in my chest once more, tears fill my eyes, and I know I can't sleep in that bed, so I start sleeping on the sofa. My sister offered to stay with me, but I am not good company so I just say no.

I was grateful when it was time to return back to work, but fuck when I walk into my office there sitting on my desk, is a picture of you and I...I just can't deal with this, I take the picture and throw it in the drawer. Work is a welcome distraction.

The only bonus of the last few weeks after our to be wedding is I haven't ran into you... I knew I wouldn't be able to face you, to see you, But in a small town I know it's inevitable, part of the reason I mainly stay home. When ever I think about you my chest hurts and tears fill my eyes, how could someone I love so much, really leave a girl, on the day she dreams of, in a dress with tears rolling down her cheeks.

The times I do go out, I try avoid places we frequented together, but that's hard in a small town. The only thing that gets me through this is my job, at least there for a few minutes I can forget what happened... But when I get home it's always the same the tears come and everything reminds me of you.

I hate it here anymore I hate my small town that I grew up in, it's as if you've taken my heart with you when you left me. I have lost weight, and the spark in my smile... Life doesn't have the same meaning for me anymore. Every night I try to sleep but I just see your face, I need to get away.. I want to get away.

 

[garajd]

Damn, I am becoming a boring person . . . go to work, go home, drink a beer or two, watch TV, go to bed, start over tomorrow. Jack has almost given up on getting me to go out for a beer after work. Not even considering dating . . . who would go out with me after what I did to you.

Stopped in for lunch at a local diner today. Eating my lunch in a booth at the back, I look up as you come in. Trying to hide my face. Hoping you are just picking up an order 'to go', I look up once more, only to make eye contact. You hesitate, then turn and run from the restaurant.

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

I think to myself as I am sitting home one night a glass of wine in my hand, wondering will I always feel this way, will I always feel so empty...the only thing filling my void is my job... And even there at times I find myself unable to focus, I try and play out in my head what made you stop loving me, what could I have done differently, my self esteem is so low, my defenses high, but what's worse is knowing you'll find someone else, your sexy, smart, funny, kind... And I'll be stuck because I know no man will match up to you.

I have to stop thinking of you I tell myself one day, or I am going to go fucking insane... No-one knows what happened, noone knows you called off the wedding they think it was both of us, and I let people think that.

Midweek one day I decide to grab lunch for the office, it had been a while since I done that. I go to a diner my boss suggested and go in to place the order for food. I smile as I walk towards the counter. All of a sudden you look up and our eyes meet... I am frozen for a moment... I cant.. I cant breath as I turn and flee the diner.

I get outside and almost fall as tears are rolling down my cheeks..ri rush to my car, but digit with the door handle. I finally get in my car, and punch my steering wheel angry at myself... I have to get out of this fucking town, I cant drive for a few moments the tears blurring my vision.

 

[garajd]

Seeing you run out of the diner . . . lost my appetite for the rest of my lunch. I throw some cash down on the table, more than enough for my meal and a tip, and go out the back door. Going back to my office, I close the door and just sit there looking out the window, wondering if my life will ever be the same as it was not so long ago.

Right now, not even thinking about what you are going thru . . . shows how fucking selfish I am. Finally leaving the office, telling my secretary I am gone for the day. Heading out of town, knowing there is a strip club in the next city. Who knows what, or who, I might find there?

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Part of me thought you were going to come after me, then I remembered what reason would you, for all I know you don't even give two fucks about me. I finally am able to refocus as I angrily rub the tears out of my eyes, and head down the road, my decision clear in my mind I go to another resturant for work and then head back... I cant be in this town anymore, everything reminds me of you and I am sure this isn't the only time I'll ever run into you.

I get back to the office, and after passing out lunch, I tap on my bosses door., asking to speak with you, you welcome me in and I speak firmly. "I want a transfer.... Anywhere from here, I don't care how far." I say surprising the both of us, I don't explain Just that I want to start over and thankfully you don't ask questions, you just tell me you will see what you can do, but that you hate to see me go, you tell me it might be a few days before you will know anything, I Thank you and leave your office going back to work.

I finish my day and head to my parents I need to tell them my plans, to say they weren't upset would be a understatement but my dad understood and my mom is always on my side. I have dinner with them and head back to my apartment. Two weeks ago I would never have thought my life would end up this way.

I debate calling you... Then wonder what the Fuck I was even thinking, I decide to pack the things you've left at my apartment in a box, I'll give it to Jack to give to you. I go to my bedroom, it wasn't much a few sweatshirts, a few cds, lastly I place my ring in the box with a picture of us... I look at the ring before tears fill my eyes once more.

Finally I take the box into my living room and place it by the door. I got on the sofa that I've made my bed and stare into space... I hope it was all worth it to you Matt, more so wih me gone maybe you can find what you need even if it isn't me, I whisper outloud. Fuck me I think. My phone rings and I am surprised it's my boss calling odd to call after hours, but he tells me he transfer can be done and that they would like me within two weeks time.

I thank him and breath deeply, I hate leaving but I can't stay here.. I cant. I decide to pack some, my furniture and such I can leave in storage and finally I decide to get some rest what rest I can because the next two weeks are going to be non stop for me, but I can move on and hopefully gain some peace of mind.

 

[garajd]

Convincing myself that going to a strip club was a fucking lousy idea, at least to this one. All the dancers were less than desirable. I thought their purpose was to arouse the male customers and get them to spend money on lap dances, and maybe even some sexual contact in the private show rooms down the hall. Didn't do a thing for me!!

Heading out to my car to drive back to my apartment, a couple girls try to make me an offer I can't refuse . . . a blowjob for $20, or a fast fuck for $50. I wouldn't let either of them touch my dick, even of they were paying me.

As I drive back into town, I automatically turn in the direction of your apartment. As I drive past your apartment building, I see Jack walking out of the building toward his car, carrying a box. Not sure what that means, but if it affects me, I'm sure I'll get a phone call from him before too long.

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

Later that evening I decide to call Jack, and ask him if he can come over and pick up your things, thankfully he agrees and I wonder if I should leave a note with your things.. but what would I even say, I think long and hard about this.. if I am going to I better do it now before Jack comes. I take a deep breath and go to my kitchen and pour myself a glass of red wine, and settle at my kitchen table, a pen and pad in hand.. fuck I'm going to need the whole bottle for this.

I sit there as I have already finished one full glass of wine I pour myself an other.. the only thing on the note I have come up with yet it your name..

Matt,

These things in this box might not be that important to you, but I want you to have them back, but I know its best if we not see one another, so in my cowardly way, I am doing the same to you as you have done to me, poor Jack.. I am surprised he even wants to be our friend, you lucked out with him, he's a good friend and I am glad you have him... anyway enough about that, here's your things.. I am not sure why I put the picture in here, but you always said it was your favorite so I thought you should have it.

I've also enclosed your ring... maybe you can sell it... or save it.. I don't know.. it's yours I just thought you should have it. I hope all is well for you, and I wish you the best.

Always Mia.

I finish the letter and reread it, it sounded cold nothing like me at all.. and a lot of it I was putting on a good front... but here it is, I place it in the box, and finish off the bottle of wine.. I just want to numb the pain. I stand in the living room now looking around, has it really all come to this I wonder... yes yes it has, I look a mess, but in a few weeks I'll be gone from this torment of this little town, that reminds me every where I fucking go of you.

I find myself angry as tears fill my eyes, how the fuck am I going to move on. I hear a knock at my door and know it's Jack, I hand him the box and thank him apologizing to place him in the middle, he understands and tells me to take care of myself.. he might be your best friend but these people were my friends to and I was leaving them all behind.. and I wanted no one to know especially Matt and my parents and sister would make sure of that, as for my friends... I just tell them my job needed me to transfer only I need to know the truth.

Jack leaves and I crumble to the floor, bringing my knees to my chest... would I always feel this way.. would it always hurt this fucking bad, I didn't know, but I was as hell hoped not. Finally I curl into a ball on my sofa and try and get some sleep.

 

[garajd]

Still wondering what Jack was doing at Mia's as I drive on home. As I park and head up to my apartment, I see Jack stopping across the street. "Looking for a beer?" I ask as he comes toward me. He nods and follows me carrying the box I saw him with earlier.

As we enter, he hands me the box, "Mia asked me to give this to you. All I am is the delivery person," he says as he sets it down on a kitchen counter. Handing him a beer, I open the box and see that it contains some clothes I had left at your place . . . along with a picture and a note. I'll look at the note after Jack leaves.

He hangs around long enough to drink the beer and talk for a few minutes and then heads out. I finally pick up the note . . . and immediately lose all control as I read it and look at the picture and the ring . . . I really did fuck this up . . . and pretty sure there is no making it right.

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

The next few days I start planning my new life with the help of my boss, and my parents.. thank god for them, without them I would have been lost. My transfer has gone through well, and within another weeks time I will be on my way to a new life in a new place, was I scared yes, but I couldn't stay here.. it wasn't the same anymore.. and I don't think for me it will ever be the same.

My boss, has helped me find a room in texas, until I can get there and get stable enough to look for a apartment, at that time I can have everything shipped to my new home, if need be, or if I really wanted that.. for now packing cloths and a few personal things would suit me just fine, I wanted away as fast as I could, so this was my best solution, sure I would have a room mate, that I did not know.. but at least this way I had no furniture or such to worry over, so it would make my move that much easier.

Typically I know transfers don't go through so good, so I know my boss pulled a few string and I'll forever be grateful to him for that, my parents don't want me to go, but I need to get away.. I need to forget my past.. it all reminds me of us, of you... I again stress to my parents that I want no one to know where I am going.. I need this clean slate... this chance to forget... who would have thought a broken heart could affect someone so much.

I make several arrangements.. throughout the impending weeks. I pack up my apartment and that had to be the hardest part for me.. so many fond memories in each room, I still wake up crying and find myself crying myself to sleep at night. No.. it never gets easier, I assume.. I guess one just learns to live with it.

Maybe if I had answers, this wouldn't be so hard.. but I had none... really.

I have to face the facts... maybe I just was never enough for him, Matt was powerful.. and I lived a pretty simple life.. but we seemed to have it all, or so I had thought, guess looks really are deceiving. The day of my departure my parents take me to the airport tears in my mothers eye's my father I can tell holds them back.. memories.. of you fill me as I look around, ready to leave my life behind. I hear my flight be called to the terminal I kiss my parents and off I go.

 

[garajd]

A couple more weeks go by without running into you, although I look around everywhere I go. Not sure what I would do if we do bump into each other, but you are always there in my mind.

Jack hasn't said anything, but then lets me know that you have left town; supposedly, a transfer with your company, but won't tell me where; not even sure if he knows.

Guess this chapter in my life finally is closed . . . now if I can just move on and forget about you.

 

[AngelofyourNighmares]

I get settled into my new life, the people I work with are nice enough, my roommate nice enough as well, though it wasn't easy living with someone when you were so used to living alone.. or pretty much with the person you loved, Matt either stayed with me or I with him... rarely did we not stay at one another's I think I missed sleeping in bed with him the most, that had to be the hardest part really.

I thought moving away would make things easier, but I still think of you, I still miss you, I still love you, I still hate you... at least every little thing doesn't remind me of you, that's better.. some things are easier at least.. some things... me forgetting you... I don't know if that will ever actually happen.

A month living here in this new place has passed and I am still not over you, still not over you leaving me... but at least.. I don't have to see you, be reminded of you.. everywhere I go.. at least I have that... or so I think...

 

[garajd]

Another week or two go by, and still no sighting of you. I feel more comfortable eating in places we used to eat. The wait staff are pleasant, though not nearly as engaging as they were when we were the 'hottest' couple in town. They take my order, keep my water glass full, and bring my food . . . but there is a definite coolness to their approach to me.

Jack finally tells me that you have left town, taken a transfer to another state, but won't tell me where. I'm not sure he knows, but definitely not giving me a clue.

Another night alone; I have called a couple of girls for dates, but all I am getting so far are rejections. Guess I must really be 'poison' in this town.