Learning to date again, suggestions

[fahq]

I've been in a committed relationship for 8 years which recently ended. I met a pretty cool girl the other night at t he bar, she was a server, but anyway I havent the slightest idea what the hell to do. I mean dinner and a movie is kinda played out, but there isn't much to do in this town. Next what do I wear I've gotten so lazy I normally just wear jeans and a tshirt, I doubt I'll dress up much though.

So I guess where I'm going with this is it's a Sunday night date I was planning on going to see that movie tropic thunder, and dinner before, but that all sounds kind of boreing. So what do you girls like on a first date?

Thanks

 

[Shwenn]

It is completely irrelevant.

If what you do on the date matters to her, she doesn't really like you so it doesn't really matter to you.

If she likes you, what you do on the date won't really matter to her so it doesn't really matter to you.

Just try to relax and have fun.

 

[fahq]

It is completely irrelevant.

If what you do on the date matters to her, she doesn't really like you so it doesn't really matter to you.

If she likes you, what you do on the date won't really matter to her so it doesn't really matter to you.

Just try to relax and have fun.

point taken.

 

[Shwenn]

If you tell her you just got out of a serious relationship, it could easily sound like a line. Like you are trying to get her into bed for some no-strings sex. Which she may be up for or not but, that is usually how we read that statement. Guys often say that to get a woman into bed.

I wouldn't even bring it up on the first date.

 

[fahq]

nope didnt even plan on mentioning that, she did though just move back here from cali, after moving there with her BF. So no strings attached sex may be on her mind :thumbs:

 

[infinity706]

If you tell her you just got out of a serious relationship, it could easily sound like a line. Like you are trying to get her into bed for some no-strings sex. Which she may be up for or not but, that is usually how we read that statement. Guys often say that to get a woman into bed.

I wouldn't even bring it up on the first date.

I'm curious as to how, exactly, that would make even a remotely good pickup line. Regardless of how you look at it, that just says that you recently had a failed relationship. That doesn't quite seem like the best kind of promotion.

 

[subwannabe]

I'm a guy who has been in this situation before. Dinner and a movie is kind of overdone but then again, maybe it's not best to buck tradition. Maybe it got to be tradition for a reason. Anyway, I don't want to confuse the issue but I personally think it's best to get to know someone by talking to them, which really can't be done in a movie. Of course you will talk some at dinner but probably not that much and if one of you discovers you really don't care for the other person like you thought you might, it could make for a very long movie. If you can I would take her out to dinner and then maybe go somewhere where you can talk even more, like walking around a downtown area or by a river or lake or something. Women like to have conversation but they don't want to hear you talk about yourself all night and they certainly don't want to hear about your last relationship (in details anyway). Ask a lot of questions about her and answer the questions she asks, even if some of them are about your past relationships.

 

[SweetErika]

Do you know you like each other enough for dinner and a movie? If not, you might want to consider something a little shorter. Personally, I feel that's more of a 2nd or 3rd date kind of activity because I like to get to know someone and have an easy escape route on the first date.

Without knowing what the possibilities are in your area, it's difficult to make suggestions.

As for what you should wear, it depends on what you're doing. Present yourself nicely and put some effort into it, though. For instance, if you wear jeans, make sure they're in good shape and clean. If you're going to dinner, wear a button down shirt or a sportcoat that looks good over your t-shirt. Wear nice, clean shoes. Practice good hygiene, including making sure your nails are clipped and smooth. Wear a little aftershave or good cologne. If you feel great, confident and think you're presenting a good, authentic image, she'll probably think so too.

 

[ReadyOne]

Tell her you'd like to talk to her when she can spend some time outside work.

Ask her where she'd go/what she'd do -- could just be setting on the steps of city hall 1/2 hr before her shift starts.

Try a joint errand. Go grocery shopping together and talk about what you like to eat? Does she do laundry at a laundromat? Talk while the cloths dry.

 

[Infalk]

Take her to a theme park, that way you can talk for hours in the queues. Should be pretty fun and unique too.

 

[fire_breeze]

I've been in a committed relationship for 8 years which recently ended. I met a pretty cool girl the other night at t he bar, she was a server, but anyway I havent the slightest idea what the hell to do. I mean dinner and a movie is kinda played out, but there isn't much to do in this town. Next what do I wear I've gotten so lazy I normally just wear jeans and a tshirt, I doubt I'll dress up much though.

So I guess where I'm going with this is it's a Sunday night date I was planning on going to see that movie tropic thunder, and dinner before, but that all sounds kind of boreing. So what do you girls like on a first date?

Thanks

It's still summer, so there could very well be a festival or some outdoor activity you could do. Wander around a lively part of town (usually where artists live), check out the street performers, and go to a cafe for either wine or coffee and dessert. Maybe the circus, if there's one nearby. The theatre is another option. You could look into fringe shows or small companies/venues, where the dress code is less strict (very loosely put) and the shows tend to be fun and experimental. If you both like literature, browse a bookstore or attend a poetry reading. Or how about a minor league game? The options are limitless for great first dates, that even if it doesn't turn out, can still be fun and memorable.

As for what to wear. Depending on where you go, jeans that are clean and are in good shape, with a polo shirt or a decent button down shirt are fine. If you wear runners, make sure they aren't dirty and well-worn, better invest in a good pair or flip-flops for that casual look.

The most important thing is to relax, be considerate and have fun.

I hope it helped and good luck.

 

[fahq]

Tell her you'd like to talk to her when she can spend some time outside work.

Ask her where she'd go/what she'd do -- could just be setting on the steps of city hall 1/2 hr before her shift starts.

Try a joint errand. Go grocery shopping together and talk about what you like to eat? Does she do laundry at a laundromat? Talk while the cloths dry.

I already asked her out, I like the carnival idea I think there is a fair in town that we could check, that would probably be fun. Thanks for all the suggestions, after we decided to go out and do something I was like well shit I haven't done this in so long I haven't the slights idea what to do, or how to act anymore

Thanks again

 

[fahq]

Tell her you'd like to talk to her when she can spend some time outside work.

Ask her where she'd go/what she'd do -- could just be setting on the steps of city hall 1/2 hr before her shift starts.

Try a joint errand. Go grocery shopping together and talk about what you like to eat? Does she do laundry at a laundromat? Talk while the cloths dry.

I already asked her out, I like the carnival idea I think there is a fair in town that we could check, that would probably be fun. Thanks for all the suggestions, after we decided to go out and do something I was like well shit I haven't done this in so long I haven't the slights idea what to do, or how to act anymore

Thanks again

 

[Infalk]

I already asked her out, I like the carnival idea I think there is a fair in town that we could check, that would probably be fun. Thanks for all the suggestions, after we decided to go out and do something I was like well shit I haven't done this in so long I haven't the slights idea what to do, or how to act anymore

Thanks again

Wooh! That counts as my idea guys, keep off! ';..;'

 

[fahq]

LOL, I figure if shes a total loser I can stuff my face with funnel cake

P

 

[fahq]

plus I'm surprised my corny pick up line worked "so, what are the chances of a guy like you and girl like me..."

P

 

[coastal-boy]

It is summer...take her for a picnic...with some wine, fruit and cheese and just sit and talk. We have a local jazz group that plays on weekends at the park. A date is about getting to know the person better. If you "create" extravagant date and it not really "you" then you have locked yourself into a predictament that you cannot get yourself out of....how to "top" the last date? Just be yourself and start small. Impress her with you and not the date.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Impress her with you and not the date.

This is good advice.

Women who work in bars get hit on all the time so the fact she even wants to go out with you is a very good sign. Once someone wants to go out with you and get to know you better, the battle is half won. You don't have to metamorphosise into some perfect guy, all you really have to do is not fuck up too spectacularly.

Whatever you do, don't take her to a bar.

 

[infinity706]

plus I'm surprised my corny pick up line worked "so, what are the chances of a guy like you and girl like me..."

P

If she wanted you in the first place, she probably didn't care about your line.

This is good advice.

Women who work in bars get hit on all the time so the fact she even wants to go out with you is a very good sign. Once someone wants to go out with you and get to know you better, the battle is half won. You don't have to metamorphosise into some perfect guy, all you really have to do is not fuck up too spectacularly.

Whatever you do, don't take her to a bar.

unless she asks to go to a bar...

 

[VelvetDarkness]

unless she asks to go to a bar...

Well, naturally. As a date venue though, it could be seen as a little unimaginative. It could also be assumed that the guy spends all his free time in bars.

 

[infinity706]

It depends on the girl, though. I've met a couple women who's idea for a good date is one that at least involves getting hammered and nailed like a piece of lumber. It's not really the norm, but it's still possibly worth considering.