last longer

[wisconsinfan]

Hi Everyone, I'm new here, only been around for a few weeks now.

Anyways, I'm seeing this girl tonight and I'm pretty sure we are going to be having sex. It's the first time for me in quite some time. Are there anyways or techniques that you all think would work for me to last long. I don't last a really long time in the first place, and I'm sure I'll lose it pretty quick. I'm very attracted to her, shes extremely sexy, and I'm just really horny.

I was thinking about masturbating before I meet up with her, but does that really work?

Any help would be greatly appreciated!

Thanks!

 

[SinSationalMan]

That doesnt work...what works is this: drink 4-6 beers before sex. Alchohol makes your dick stay harder longer.

 

[Etaski]

Hrm... 4-6 beers would depend on the person's tolerance and weight. It might be 2-3.

And in any case, "whiskey dick" just seems to reduce the guy's sensitivity and enjoyment, not to mention his awareness and control. Getting drunk may not be the best idea for a first time....

I don't quite see why masturbating beforehand wouldn't help; at least you wouldn't be so sensitive as to have a hair-trigger.

As for lasting longer in general...I think "the day of" is a little late to be thinking about it. Anything I've read on that suggests one of the best methods is "training" yourself over a longer period of time. Kind of like slowly building up your endurance as a runner (first you run a 1/2 mile, work up to a full mile, go farther, etc....)

Masturbate beforehand. If you're comfortable talking with her about it, maybe bring up the concern. Two heads are better than one for coming up with a plan of action...if she's mentally prepared, she's likely to be understanding.

And show her your concern: focus on touching and pleasuring her quite a bit before actual penetration; take it slow, what's the rush?

 

[wisconsinfan]

Thanks! I'm going to be trying the masturbating before hand. I hope it at least helps a little! And I don't mind not rushing it! Who doesn't love a little foreplay and pussy eating!

 

[CWatson]

Be conscious of yourself. You can tell when you're about to cum. When you are, back off: suggest a new position, f'ex, which will not only give you a few moments of fumbling, but may actually work on a technical level. Your mileage may vary--obviously, I only have my personal penis to try this with--but I've found that, in order to ejaculate, I need stimulation that's not only prolonged but in the same style / on the same spots on my penis. So if I change position, the quality of stimulation changes and I lose some of the build-up.

And seriously, just tell her. "It's been a while, and I'm not sure of my endurance." If she doesn't appreciate the forewarning, she's not worth fucking anyhow.

 

[satindesire]

This isn't true for all women, and I'm sure there are going to be some people coming in here arguing with me about this so let me make it absolutely clear that I mean THIS IS NOT TRUE FOR ALL WOMEN...

But.

Some women can ONLY reach orgasm through direct external clitoral stimulation. Since PIV intercourse doesn't give many women the clitoral stimulation they need to reach orgasm, many people use some other method of stimulating the female partner's clitoris either with a hand, or vibrator, etc.

Lasting a long time isn't NECESSARY for many women, because no matter how long you last, she'll never be able to come from just straight fucking. Penis inside vagina, repeat. Yawn. It's wonderfully intimate but it's just not enough.

Focus on trying to help her reach orgasm BEFORE you even penetrate her. That way you can last as long or as short as you need to, and she'll be satisfied.

 

[LordMhoram]

Better late than never?

Well, I'm a day late and a dollar short.

How did it go?

For next time, some words from the male perspective.

No doubt you have heard at length how complex women's sexual responses are, how involved their emotional processes get, how many require that things be "just right" to enjoy sex... Indeed, there are whole sections of shelves of books on the subject.

And it is true. Worse, no two are exactly the same. Even more devastating to know is that the same woman may well vary a great deal in these matters from day to day.

It is true. Women do indeed embody some of the most complex stimulus-response systems (un)known to Man.

At the same time, their needs are, in fact, just as simple as yours and mine. Not exactly the same, mind you, but far more easily met than most men seem to think. Honestly, we spend way to much time digging way to deep for something we already have the ability to provide. The single most important need a woman has that you have the ability to meet without ever reading a book or watching a how-to video is...

Are you sitting down?

She needs to know she matters to you.

Not "wants to know", or "likes" or "loves" or even "craves".

She needs to know.

Now take that gem of wisdom and apply as appropriate.

If you read between the lines of what the ladies have been saying to you, you can spot that little truth hiding in their words.

For your direct question, control, remember you can forestall ejaculation by pressing the base of your cock, right above your balls, and closing off the corpus cavernosum urethrae (the tube). Works just like a cock-ring without the risk of accidentally castrating yourself (joking).

Masturbation prior to your meeting is not a reliable means of reducing your sensitivity and hence control. It can actually push the whole issue of sex more fully into the forefront of your thoughts, which is a large part of your challenge right now. You want to strive for the opposite. Tone down the sexual aspects of your meeting. It is good that she can pick up your sexual interest. If she is interested in you, and you keep it under control, it will be reassuring for her in many ways. But you need to keep your thoughts from running ahead to the main event.

The issue is in your head and, honestly, you might be making a mountain out of a mole hill. First time with a girl you really like is a challenge in control for most of us. At the same time, remember she is human too, and will behaving her own 'first time' issues to deal with. If she is looking for a quick fuck, then okay, you might be in real trouble. But if this girl is actually interested in you, if this is perhaps the start of something lasting, then you probably have far less to worry about than you fear. Talk to her when you get close to actually having sex. Be genuine and you will be satisfying the golden rule. If you blow the first couple of sexual encounters (pun intended) don't think it is the end of the world.

As your mind becomes familiar with this girl, the strength of your sexual response will drop to more "realistic" levels. It doesn't mean you don't care about her, or only wanted sex, or are uncontrollably promiscuous. It is part of the makeup of your primal brain, and THERE IS NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT. You need that part of your brain to calm down. The primal drive to mate is extremely powerful, and is designed to drive you to mate with as many females as possible. That part will subside. When it does, your higher functions will gain better control. As long as you have genuine feelings for her, your attraction for her won't go away, you'll just have better control of it.

Final comment. If control issues persist you might want to try this simple technique. Masturbate till you are about to cum, then squeeze your cock with your thumb and forefinger just below the glans (head) till you calm, then masturbate again. Repeat as many times as you feel you need. The repetition will desensitize - well, everything that is involved in the process. If you want, you can focus on some thought or idea while you do the calming part. Make it something unusual, something you are not likely to be reminded of during sex by some outside influence, but can call to mind anytime you want to exercise control. Over time, your mind will associate that idea with the sensation of calming down, and thus you need only pull that idea to mind to help yourself pull back from ejaculation. Not 100%, but very useful.

P.S. After I read how long this damn posting became, I nearly deleted it. Gonna end up a Dr. Phil or something.

 

[Etaski]

Jesushell, I am so glad you didn't delete that long-ass post!!

Best advice ever on this topic! Even if it's a wee bit late for the original poster, it is still chock-full of advicity-goodness for other readers.

Bravo!

Yeah, I thought you were quite a thinker from your "Jenna" story...

 

[wisconsinfan]

Wow, all this advice! I never knew! We did end up having sex and it was great. We did a lot of stuff before penetration and she came twice before I even put it inside. Once I did though, it was a few good thrusts and I was done. She really likes me eating her out!!

 

[LordMhoram]

Jesushell, I am so glad you didn't delete that long-ass post!!

Best advice ever on this topic! Even if it's a wee bit late for the original poster, it is still chock-full of advicity-goodness for other readers.

Bravo!

Yeah, I thought you were quite a thinker from your "Jenna" story...

Wow! Um, thanks.

Don't suppose you've read my Sarah chapters...? Wouldn't mind hearing your opinion there.

 

[James65]

Wow, all this advice! I never knew! We did end up having sex and it was great. We did a lot of stuff before penetration and she came twice before I even put it inside. Once I did though, it was a few good thrusts and I was done. She really likes me eating her out!!

Have her get you off at the start and while recharging eat her out until your hard and she wants you in her....no romance but a great way to handle the getting off to quick problem and not stress yourself into a limp dick and a bad night.
after she cums ask her softly what she likes and maybe she'll tell you?!

 

[Etaski]

Wow! Um, thanks.

Don't suppose you've read my Sarah chapters...? Wouldn't mind hearing your opinion there.

I haven't yet, but will do so soon as I catch up on other things.