Last Ditch Effort to Get Out of Singing The Lord's Prayer...

[Eumenides]

At my sister's wedding. I'm trying to find songs I like to show my sister, so that I don't have to sing the Lord's Prayer. So far I've come up with "Recipe for Love" and "At Last"

Any suggestions?

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

What part of the wedding does the song fit in at? It makes a difference.

 

[pointless]

" i see a darkness" by will oldham

 

[Eumenides]

What part of the wedding does the song fit in at? It makes a difference.

I have no clue. His neice is singing "One Hand, One Heart" from West Side Story, and my best friend is singing a Phil Collins song...I can't remember the name. His brother is playing a guitar solo. But they haven't talked to me about order in the ceremony.

 

[Saint Peter]

Broken Hearts are for Assholes
Frank Zappa
Sheik Yerbouti, 1977

Come on! Hey! Do you know what you are?
You're an asshole! Hey!

Some of you might not agree
'Cause you probably likes a lot of misery
But think a while and you will see . . .
(Take a while, you'll see)
Broken hearts are for assholes
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole?
Broken hearts are for assholes
Are you an asshole too?
Whatcha gonna do, 'cause you're an asshole . . .

No no no, yeah yeah yeah
Hey! You're an ASSHOLE!

Maybe you think you're a lonely guy
Maybe you think you're too tough to cry
So you went to The Grape,
Just to give it a try
(Just to give it a try)
And Dagmar
Possibly, the ugliest sonofabitch I've ever seen in my life
Was his name . . .
Handle-Bar Johnny's
The whiskers sticking out from underneath of his
Pancake make-up
Alive and living in LEATHER
Nearly drove you insane
Awright, what you been waiting for?
And so you kissed a little sailor
Coming up next week at The Grape, something new, something exciting
Who had just blew in from Spain
You can get a few of these lovely little sailors to roll the stage back
And pull the chain attached to the permanently-erected nipples of Jimmy
It's showtime! Nice
In a bold salute to pain
Awright do you remember FiFi Dupree?
You sniffed the reeking buns of Angel
Formerly Buddy Love the Baron Of Beef
And acted like it was cocaine
Mmm . . . coming next week a Grape salute to S&M
You were dazzled by the exciting new costume of Ko-Ko
On Thursday night, a fine tribute: LEATHER!
In a way you can't explain
No one can salute leather without saluting Puerto Rico!
And so you worked the wall with Michael
Then we may come in up next Tuesday
Which gave your back an awful strain
Uhhh-nhh . . .
But you came back on Sunday for the gong show
In crushed velvet or leather
But you forgot what I was sayin'
'Cause you're an asshole, You're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, 'n you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, you're an asshole
That's right
You're an asshole, 'n you're an asshole

Yeah-hey! That's right! You're an aiee-asshole!

You say you can't live with what you've been through
Well, ladies you can be an asshole too
You might pretend you ain't got one on the bottom of you
But don't fool yerself girl
It's lookin' at you
Don't fool yerself girl
It's winkin' at you
(Hey!)
Don't fool yerself girl
It's blinkin' at you
Gonna ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Cock ring
(Chick-a-pttthh . . . )
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Leather
(Knockwurst)
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Shausage
(Bockwurst)
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Scabies
(Weissburst)
Ram it, ram it, ram it
Ram it up yer poop chute
Volume
(Chick-a-pttthh)
Don't fool yerself, girl,
(Gonna ram it, gonna ram it . . . )
Gonna ram it up yer poop chute
(Chick-a-pttthh)
Nice
Don't fool yerself, girl,
(Gonna ram it, gonna ram it . . . )
Gonna ram it up yer poop chute
(Asshole)
Don't fool yerself, girl,
(Gonna ram it, gonna ram it . . . )
Gonna ram it up yer poop chute
(Ay ay ay ay)
Don't fool yerself, girl,
(Gonna ram it, gonna ram it . . . )
Gonna ram it up yer poop chute
(Ay ay ay ay)
Don't fool yerself, girl,
(Gonna ram it, gonna ram it . . . )
Gonna ram it up yer poooop chute
(Ay ay ay ay ay ay ay ay)
Don't fool yerself, girl,
(Gonna ram it, gonna ram it . . . )
Gonna ram it up yer . . .

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

Ok, now, what kind of voice do you have?

 

[Eumenides]

A mediocre alto. lol



Thanks, Petey...you're always such a BIG help!

 

[Nora]

Ok, so here's what you do.

Figure out what song you REALLY wanna sing. Then learn The Lord's Prayer backwards.

Now, at the rehearsal, go ahead and start off with The Lord's Prayer. But do it backwards. After the first couple of words, break off and look horrified. Then try again, but let it come out backwards again. Look like you're gonna cry.

Now, this moment is crucial. Lean forward like to cover your eyes or something, like you're really upset. Make sure the HUGE inverted cross you're wearing dangles in full view of the preacher.

Your sister will agree to let you sing any song you choose.

 

[Saint Peter]

A mediocre alto. lol



Thanks, Petey...you're always such a BIG help!

Frank Zappa and SaintPeter are all about helping.

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

Well, there's the Patrick Swayze song "Fool to Believe", sweet

There's the Dave Matthew's Band "Crash into me" a sex and commiment song "You've got your ball you've got your chain....Come crash.Into.Me. and I come intooooo youoooo"

There's the "Married with Children" Standby "Love and Marragie"

"Sunrise, Sunset" from "Fiddler on the Roof"

Um, but those are just off the top of my head. If you give me something to work with, I'd be able to help you more.

 

[amelia]

what about What A Wonderful World?

it's one of my fave wedding songs.


WHAT A WONDERFUL WORLD~George Weiss / Bob Thiele

I see trees of green, red roses too
I see them bloom for me and you
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

I see skies of blue and clouds of white
The bright blessed day, the dark sacred night
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world

The colours of the rainbow, so pretty in the sky
Are also on the faces of people going by
I see friends shakin' hands, sayin' "How do you do?"
They're really saying "I love you"

I hear babies cryin', I watch them grow
They'll learn much more than I'll ever know
And I think to myself, what a wonderful world
Yes, I think to myself, what a wonderful world

Oh yeah

 

[Effigy]

You mean you wont sing Crazy for you?

Edit: Go with Miss Amelia's and go in a full tux,

 

[amelia]

i hate shania twain..but this is a great wedding song

From This Moment On~Shania Twain

From this moment life has begun
From this moment you are the one
Right beside you is where I belong
From this moment on

From this moment I have been blessed
I live only for your happiness
And for your love I'd give my last breath
From this moment on

I give my hand to you with all my heart
Can't wait to live my life with you, can't wait to start
You and I will never be apart
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
There is nothing I wouldn't give
From this moment on

You're the reason I believe in love
And you're the answer to my prayers from up above
All we need is just the two of us
My dreams came true because of you

From this moment as long as I live
I will love you, I promise you this
From this moment
I will love you as long as I live
From this moment on

 

[Minkey Boodle]

"If you're happy and you know it, clap your hands!"

 

[p_p_man]

"Oh God our help in ages past, our hope for years to come"...



ppman

 

[Eumenides]

Nora, I think she'd kill me. She knows me too well. I'd never wear a cross, inverted or otherwise.




PS, My sister is firmly against anything too contemporary (The Phil Collins song was at the insistence of her fiancee, and it IS their song). So, a lot of those won't work. I'm firmly against Fiddler on the Roof. LOL...Am I giving you more to work with here, or am I just being a nuisance?


Amelia, thanks hon. We've talked about that one, and it was a no go with the fiancee. They're so darned picky! You'd think it was THEIR wedding or something!

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

So, we are talking 40's, 30's....or beyond that?

How about "Scarsbough Fair" from the 16th centurty?

Or "Black is the Color of my True Love's Hair"? Same period?

 

[Minkey Boodle]

"My bologna has a first name, it's *spell the groom's name*. My bologna has a second name it's *spell the bride's name*..."

 

[Effigy]

What if it dont sound contemporary?

DANCING LESSONS - (Sinéad O'Connor)

I wanna go wallking with you
If you'd agree
I wanna do some talking with you
Where no one can see
I wanna go dancing darling
If you agree
I think I'll feel a safe step darling
If you were with me
And when you wrap your arms around me
When you take me close and say
That you're so glad you found me
You take my rainy days and make them go away
Long time I've been thinking of you
Do you think of me too?
Long time I've been dreaming of you
Make this dream come true
Long time I've been wondering about this
Can this really exist
I swear I feel a peaceful feeling
In the warmth of your kiss
And when you wrap your arms around me
When you take me close and say
That you're so glad you found me
You take my rainy days and make them go away
On this journey may the good lord guide us
And may the goddess dance beside us
And when you wrap your arms around me
When you take me close and say
That you're so glad you found me
You take my rainy days and make them go away
And when you wrap your arms around me
When you take me close and say
That you're so glad you found me
You take my rainy days and make them go away

 

[Eumenides]

Thanks, PS...I'll look those up.

 

[curious2c]

So I guess 'I want to kiss you all over' by Exile is out too huh eumenides?

 

[Eumenides]

Eff, you think she'll go for it if I omit the singer's name? LOL


C2C, I'm afraid so.

 

[Minkey Boodle]

Carmina Burana

 

[PoliteSuccubus]

One song that she'll def say no to is:

Johnny Be Fair
(14th Cen Irish Round)

O, Johnny be fair
And Johnny be fine
And want's me for to Wed,
And I would wed with Johnny but my father up and said:
I'm sad to tell my daughter what her mother never knew,
But Johnny is a son of mine,
And so is kin to you!

O, Billy be fair
And Billy be fine
And want's me for to Wed,
And I would wed with Johnny but my father up and said:
I'm sad to tell my daughter what her mother never knew,
But Johnny is a son of mine,
And so is kin to you!

O, Jimmy be fair
And Jimmy be fine
And want's me for to Wed,
And I would wed with Johnny but my father up and said:
I'm sad to tell my daughter what her mother never knew,
But Johnny is a son of mine,
And so is kin to you!

O, you never saw a girl
As sorry as I was
All the boys in town are my kin
And my father is the cause!
If life should thus continue I shall die a single miss!
And so I'll go to mother dear and complain to her of this!

(hum refrain)

O, daughter havent' I told you to forgive and to forget?
If your father sows his oats
Well, still you shouldn't fret!
Your father may be father to all the boys in town
But still!
He's not the one who sired you, so marry who you will!
O, He's not the one who sired you, so marry who you will!

 

[Effigy]

Seriously, noone would know, its a really beautiful song like that.

If you can hold off a couple of days I can ask my semi pro at this, dads girlfriend who does all the old time type stuff.