Ladies, Help a Guy Out

[cumman]

I have a problem. For some unknown reason, my girlfriend will not give me oral. We have sex a lot and I give her oral all the time and she loves it. I have tried everything. This has never been a problem with any girlfriends in the past. Anyone have an idea of why she refuses to do this? How can I fix this problem?

http://img191.imageshack.us/img191/4185/71481794.jpg

http://yfrog.com/5b71481794j

 

[infinity706]

Maybe she just doesn't like it. It might just be one of those things you're not going to get as long as you stay in that relationship.

Oh, and nice cock.

 

[SouthernShyness]

Some women just do not like it as stated above. However, there are other woman who have had bad experiences and/or just one heck of a gag reflex. Hence, they do not enjoy it. It is not a fixable problem or even a problem for her, unless she sees it as a problem.

 

[Eilan]

Well, that's what I get for leaving images turned on.

 

[bailadora]

This may be stating the obvious, but have you asked her why she refuses?

 

[Shadowann2]

Why exactly did you need to post a pic of your cock to ask this question? At least we know her gagging isn't a problem!


Maybe she doesn't like all that hair on there. I know I prefer a guy to at least be trimmed so I don't end up sucking on a mouthful of fur.

Really, if you want the answer to this issue, as was mentioned before, you need to talk to her about it. It may be a fixable issue, or it may be something that she just flat isn't willing to budge on. Only you and her can reach a final answer about it.

 

[Cathleen]

Yep, you need to ask her about her thoughts on the matter.

"For some unknown reason" cracks me up though. And put that thing away, for the love of pete.

I will go out on a limb and assume your AV isn't your girlfriend.

 

[jadefirefly]

Here's a hypothetical situation for you.

What if you really hated receiving anal sex. Maybe you just don't like the feel of it. Now, imagine that your girlfriend is REALLY into it. She lets you pound her ass on a regular basis; why shouldn't you let her do the same? She'd really like it. What's wrong with you, that you don't want to return the favor?


See the problem? You want something that you enjoy, and you're assuming that just because you like it, she does too. That's not the case.

Some women simply do not enjoy giving oral sex. They're not strange, or selfish, or too repressed. They just don't like it.

The only way you'll find out -why- is to ask her. And the only way you'll get her to give it is to sit down, have an adult and meaningful conversation with her, and determine if there's a -solvable- reason she won't, or if you're just plain out of luck.

After that, it's up to you to decide if it's going to ruin your sex life, or if you can live with it.

 

[Wyldfire]

Talk to her about it. If she won't talk about it drop the sex to plain old missionary with the lights off, get your rocks off and roll over grunt, scratch yourself, and start snoring until she does. Is oral an important part of your sex life? Can you stay with her if she says she won't?

If she says she won't even if you give her everything she wants, with no compromise, maybe you need to start looking for a way to get yourself out of the relationship.

 

[NippleMuncher]

Well, that's what I get for leaving images turned on.

My cock is bigger ... Wanna see?

To the OP. As suggested, the only way to figure out the problem is to talk it over with your girlfriend. There is nothing we can say or do that is going to change her mind about it. If she is not willing, that sucks for you (no pun intended ), and something that you'll either have to live with or end the relationship over.

 

[Wyldfire]

Here's a hypothetical situation for you.

What if you really hated receiving anal sex. Maybe you just don't like the feel of it. Now, imagine that your girlfriend is REALLY into it. She lets you pound her ass on a regular basis; why shouldn't you let her do the same? She'd really like it. What's wrong with you, that you don't want to return the favor?


See the problem? You want something that you enjoy, and you're assuming that just because you like it, she does too. That's not the case.

Some women simply do not enjoy giving oral sex. They're not strange, or selfish, or too repressed. They just don't like it.

The only way you'll find out -why- is to ask her. And the only way you'll get her to give it is to sit down, have an adult and meaningful conversation with her, and determine if there's a -solvable- reason she won't, or if you're just plain out of luck.

After that, it's up to you to decide if it's going to ruin your sex life, or if you can live with it.

*Blows referee whistle*

Apples and oranges comparison. Straight males may find it impossible to overcome due to sexual orientation. What part of a woman is the same as male genitalia? What gay woman can say she'll suck her gay lover's cock? I knew a woman that, had it been a deal breaker, would have lost her man because she couldn't bring herself to give another woman oral. He was a little disappointed that because of this he could never live out one of his personal fantasies but they're still together. Can't use analogies that are counter to one's sexuality.

If she has a good reason in her head why she can't give him head, or just refuses to do it, it's up to him to decide if her refusal/inability to perform is a deal breaker. It means that if he and she can have an open honest conversation about it and come to terms with they'll live happily ever until they don't. If they can't he can either accept it bitterly and become one of the multitude here at Lit and start his own "Happily together/sexually unfulfilled" thread here and be one of the many sleaze bags, or he can break it off with her.

 

[Ariel_Marie]

Yep, you need to ask her about her thoughts on the matter.

"For some unknown reason" cracks me up though. And put that thing away, for the love of pete.

I will go out on a limb and assume your AV isn't your girlfriend.

That avatar pic is hot... wish it was me.

 

[Lurnk]

Well, that's what I get for leaving images turned on.

Seriously. Damn.

 

[bailadora]

*Blows referee whistle*

Apples and oranges comparison. Straight males may find it impossible to overcome due to sexual orientation.

*blows ref whistle right back*

Only if he's asked to be on the receiving end, otherwise it's hey - full steam ahead. I call bullshit.

At the same time as anal penetration is held up in hetero male culture as the ultimately painful/humiliating/unpleasant experience, it’s also held up as one of the premium sexual experiences any man can have - IF he’s on the penetrating end. The plethora of articles in men’s magazines and on men’s websites that instruct men on how to get their girlfriend/wife to have anal sex is staggering…

If anal penetration is the horrible, painful, humiliating thing you imagine it to be, why would you ever want a woman you love, or one you respect and to whom you’re attracted, to experience it? If it’s this horrendous experience, why, oh why, are you expending so much energy trying to inflict it on someone else? And if you expect women to be open to trying it, why continue to use it as the ultimate analogy for all things negative? Don’t you think we hear you when you talk? Don’t you think we get that you associate anal sex with pain and humiliation?

Feminist Critique of Hetero Male Culture Causes Mass MRA Hysteria

I don't think jadefirefly's comparison is apples and oranges at all. Sexual orientation addresses to whom you are attracted, not which activities get your rocks off. As is obvious from the op's gf, not all women are open to fellatio simply by virtue of being of the female heterosexual persuasion. The bottom line is that there are some things some people will find sexually repugnant. The solution? Talk it out like adults and see if you can come to a compromise. If not, decide whether or not it's a deal breaker and move on from there.

And to the op - seriously, get rid of the cock shot. It's unnecessary and this isn't AM Pics. Very few here give a shit what your willie looks like.

 

[Wyldfire]

*blows ref whistle right back*

Only if he's asked to be on the receiving end, otherwise it's hey - full steam ahead. I call bullshit.

Umm from the comparison it was stated that the woman wanted to do the penetrating and that she gave up anal herself voluntarily. There was no reference implied or otherwise that this was something the male was interested in. So, yeah it is still apples and oranges.

I don't think jadefirefly's comparison is apples and oranges at all. As is obvious from the op's gf, not all women are open to fellatio simply by virtue of being of the female heterosexual persuasion. The bottom line is that there are some activities some people will find sexually repugnant. The solution? Talk it out like adults and see if you can come to a compromise. If not, decide whether or not it's a deal breaker and move on from there.

And to the op - seriously, get rid of the cock shot. It's unnecessary and this isn't AM Pics. Very few here give a shit what your willie looks like.

The talking it out part has been a common point of agreement here. He needs to talk to her about this. If she is absolutely opposed or can't bring herself to compromise and it's a vital part of sex for him, he either has to accept never getting it or he needs to walk away from the relationship.

And I agree on the cock shot as well.

 

[bailadora]

Umm from the comparison it was stated that the woman wanted to do the penetrating and that she gave up anal herself voluntarily. There was no reference implied or otherwise that this was something the male was interested in. So, yeah it is still apples and oranges.

How is this any different from the current situation?

He wants oral and he gives it to her willingly. It's quite clear she has no interest in giving. From where I sit, it's the same situation, just with a different sex act.

It's like he expects quid pro quo. If thats the premise he's operating on, then if she theoretically wanted to anally penetrate him, he should be prepared to give it up to her because she theoretically does so for him, regardless of interest.

 

[Wyldfire]

How is this any different from the current situation?

He wants oral and he gives it to her willingly. It's quite clear she has no interest in giving. From where I sit, it's the same situation, just with a different sex act.

It's like he expects quid pro quo. If thats the premise he's operating on, then if she theoretically wanted to anally penetrate him, he should be prepared to give it up to her because she theoretically does so for him voluntarily.

So what if he does expect it? Let him cut her off from oral and see if she whines. If she does she's a greedy bitch and he should cut his losses.

 

[bailadora]

So what if he does expect it? Let him cut her off from oral and see if she whines. If she does she's a greedy bitch and he should cut his losses.

You didn't answer my question about how the two scenarios are different. And would you be singing the same tune if his gf was on here complaining because he wouldn't give up his ass when she gives up hers? Would she be entitled to the same expectation? Would you be advising her to cut off sex from the selfish bastard until he gave her what she wanted?

Seems to me like you are operating on a double standard here.

 

[infinity706]

I actually wouldn't mind a few more cock shots.

As for the anal thing, maybe we should specify fingers, since both men and women have fingers.

 

[Noor]

I agree, ask her why...

TMJ?

hygene?

trust?

Doesn't like the taste?

Boredom?

Prefers mutual acts? maybe ask about 69

There is this weird power thing some guys have when they get blown.

 

[bailadora]

I actually wouldn't mind a few more cock shots.

As for the anal thing, maybe we should specify fingers, since both men and women have fingers.

Then let him fill your PM box and leave 'em off the boards. My retinas are scarred for life.

Women can have cocks, albeit synthetic ones. Why the need to specify?

I hope Wyld does come back. Given that no one here knows zip about the relationship outside of what the OP has told us, I'm genuinely puzzled as to why she's automatically classified as a selfish bitch.

 

[Wyldfire]

You didn't answer my question about how the two scenarios are different. And would you be singing the same tune if his gf was on here complaining because he wouldn't give up his ass when she gives up hers? Would she be entitled to the same expectation? Would you be advising her to cut off sex from the selfish bastard until he gave her what she wanted?

Seems to me like you are operating on a double standard here.

I would call her on her crap dear. A blow job is not counter to a woman's sexual orientation if she is straight. A man giving up his own ass can very easily be against his sexual orientation. Hence this comparrison is invalid. You are simply being thick headed in order to get into an arguement.

There is no double standard in a man desiring quid pro quo for a sexual activity well within the sexual orientation of his partner. If she wants to receive oral she should be willing to give oral.

 

[Wyldfire]

Then let him fill your PM box and leave 'em off the boards. My retinas are scarred for life.

Women can have cocks, albeit synthetic ones. Why the need to specify?

I hope Wyld does come back. Given that no one here knows zip about the relationship outside of what the OP has told us, I'm genuinely puzzled as to why she's automatically classified as a selfish bitch.

I have made it very clear when and where she is to be considered a selfish bitch dear. If she is simply not into it she should not expect to receive the same act. If she does expect it she is indeed a greedy selfish bitch. You want it licked then you give him head. Simple.

And synthetic cocks? really? Get real. We are talking orientation not play toy attachments. Got a dildo that gives you all the feel of a real cock? Or is it somehow magically attached to your clitoris to send the neural signals that a man's cock does? Hence no dildo can act as a real cock for the woman strapping it on. It would be a purely psychological thing for the woman. A feeling of power. A feeling of domination. Dare I say a case of penis envy?

 

[Noor]

I think people should give what they are able to give and if his "giving" her oral doesn't get him oral, he should stop and see if she wants to trade, she may not.

 

[bailadora]

I would call her on her crap dear. A blow job is not counter to a woman's sexual orientation if she is straight. A man giving up his own ass can very easily be against his sexual orientation. Hence this comparrison is invalid. You are simply being thick headed in order to get into an arguement.

There is no double standard in a man desiring quid pro quo for a sexual activity well within the sexual orientation of his partner. If she wants to receive oral she should be willing to give oral.

You clearly don't understand the meaning of sexual orientation. SO merely addresses to which gender a person finds themselves attracted and has fuck all to do with which acts one finds desireable. I know several men who aren't attracted to the same sex whatsoever, but love getting the strap on from their wives/gf's. Clearly you buy into the homophobic bullshit that only homosexual men and females should be willing to give it up. Anyone else into that "stuff" is clearly less than masculine.

You have sympathy for him because it's what you consider what she should want as a "normal" female, regardless of her feelings on the matter. You however, would expect her to be understanding of him should he be reluctant to engage in something outside of what is considered "normal" het male sexuality. I stand by my initial assessment, you operate on a double standard.