Ladies: Gifts from Admirers?

[DonQuixoteindfw]

This thread no longer has a purpose and has died, Thank you everyone for your input

 

[ima6uldv8]

Interesting question. I think I would. I'd be flattered.

 

[CarnageSIS]

Interesting question. I think I would. I'd be flattered.

I agree, long as it was a safe exchange I would be totally flattered.

 

[skate and fuck]

I'm a male, so my opinion wasnt sought, and is only worth that much. But I think you'll be smack dab in the middle of flattery and insecure-clingy-buying afftection yada. I'm not saying dont buy her anything, but a gift card is saying nothing but 'I dont know you well, but this shot in the dark is my best chance, and since you wont really like me maybe I can keep you around with various egiftcards for whatever your heart desires.'

Get to know her, meet her, and bring her something.

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

dv8 & Carnage, thank you for your responses.
Skate, thank you as well, those thoughts also occured to me before I ever decided to act on the impulse. I want to buy her something very specific, but I respect her privacy and don't want to come across as a stalker. I came up with the idea of the e-gift card as a solution that is safe for her, and allows me to give her something pretty.
I would love to get to know this wonderful woman better, and I've been conversing with her for a bit now. Meeting her is not currently a possibility due to the distance between our locations.

My point in this thread was to get the female prespective on the situation. Am I just a pitiful lonely fool trying to buy someones affections? I don't think so, someone has done something nice for me, and I just want to do something nice for her.

 

[Sensualdreamer]

I would be pleasantly surprised...but depending on the length of time I had been talking w/ a person there would be that part of me that would think "Is he trying to buy my affection." and then I would think that somehow I "owed" that person. Ultimate question is this. Should this lady in the distant future decline to keep speaking to you, will you be frustrated and regret having sent her this gift? If you think you'll regret it, don't do it.

 

[pwr2theblondes]

I would be pleasantly surprised...but depending on the length of time I had been talking w/ a person there would be that part of me that would think "Is he trying to buy my affection." and then I would think that somehow I "owed" that person. Ultimate question is this. Should this lady in the distant future decline to keep speaking to you, will you be frustrated and regret having sent her this gift? If you think you'll regret it, don't do it.

I agree with SD. I would feel like I owed that person something in return. Esp. because of the pricetag.

 

[switchbitch]

The most wonderful gift you can give someone is your time.the gift of things while pleasant is never as personal as the gift of you.

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

Thank you SD, P2B & Switch, insight like this is what I'm seeking. I had't quite thought about it that way, and while I had no intention of trying to buy her affection, I just wanted to do something nice for someone who has helped me through a difficult time recently, and there would be absolutely no strings attached.
As to the possibility of her ending our association in the future, I would regret that if it happened, regret it greatly, but I would never regret giving her the gift.

As to spending time with her, it's a long distance association. I do cherish the time we spend conversing, and I hope that she feels the same.

 

[shewantsmore]

theres always a catch somewhere,no one gives something for nothing

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

theres always a catch somewhere,no one gives something for nothing

Well actually you are correct, sort of. I've been very depressed recently, and through her friendship and just talking to me every day, it helped me through the worst of it. She didn't know me from any of the hundreds of other guys who post their thoughts, desires, and troubles here on Lit, but she started sending me PM's of encouragement, and we eventually started just general chatting on line. I just really want to thank her for being such a special, caring person.

 

[Sensualdreamer]

theres always a catch somewhere,no one gives something for nothing

I would beg to differ. While you possibly have never known anyone to give something w/ no strings attached, or perhaps you've never been the recipient of a random act of kindness, there are people that do things like that...I'm one of them, and when I give something, I don't hold it over a person's head, don't remind them, don't expect anything in return...b/c if you've got to "work" for it, it's truly not a gift.

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

Thank you all for your thoughts on this, I am very grateful for the female insight.

 

[switchbitch]

Thank you SD, P2B & Switch, insight like this is what I'm seeking. I had't quite thought about it that way, and while I had no intention of trying to buy her affection, I just wanted to do something nice for someone who has helped me through a difficult time recently, and there would be absolutely no strings attached.
As to the possibility of her ending our association in the future, I would regret that if it happened, regret it greatly, but I would never regret giving her the gift.

As to spending time with her, it's a long distance association. I do cherish the time we spend conversing, and I hope that she feels the same.

I was referring to your time spent conversing, the gift of time does not have to be in person, face-to-face.

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

I was referring to your time spent conversing, the gift of time does not have to be in person, face-to-face.

Thank you Switch, I appreachate the feedback.

 

[switchbitch]

you say that she did something wonderful for you can you not allow it to stand as a wonderful gift from her? Do you feel the need to pay her back? Perhaps you can allow her the pleasure of giving you something without expecting something in return.often times when someone gives you support and care, if you give them something in return it belittles their sweet gift by equating it with simply something material.your heartfelt thankswould be enough

 

[DonQuixoteindfw]

you say that she did something wonderful for you can you not allow it to stand as a wonderful gift from her? Do you feel the need to pay her back? Perhaps you can allow her the pleasure of giving you something without expecting something in return.often times when someone gives you support and care, if you give them something in return it belittles their sweet gift by equating it with simply something material.your heartfelt thankswould be enough

Yes I can, I'm not pushing the issue with her, I will respect any decision that she makes. I just wanted to do something nice for her and buy her something pretty. Pretty things for a pretty lady.

 

[gregy70]

you say that she did something wonderful for you can you not allow it to stand as a wonderful gift from her? Do you feel the need to pay her back? Perhaps you can allow her the pleasure of giving you something without expecting something in return.often times when someone gives you support and care, if you give them something in return it belittles their sweet gift by equating it with simply something material.your heartfelt thankswould be enough

I'm touched..This says alot about you..Beautiful