Ladies and Menopause

[SassySheDevil]

I think I am about to enter into the fun world of menopause. I am seeing my doctor next week, but I am curious what you other ladies have experienced besides the usual. Hot flashes. hormonal changes, sex drive changes, dryness etc. I admit I've ready very little about the changes, but I'm curious what you have experienced.

Or what you men have experienced with the spouse.

I'm curious what you've done to combat the side effects?

 

[Icy1]

Remember in the old books and movies when men would say a woman had hysteria?
I think that was peri menopause.

 

[Mtnmike]

I think I am about to enter into the fun world of menopause. I am seeing my doctor next week, but I am curious what you other ladies have experienced besides the usual. Hot flashes. hormonal changes, sex drive changes, dryness etc. I admit I've ready very little about the changes, but I'm curious what you have experienced.

Or what you men have experienced with the spouse.

I'm curious what you've done to combat the side effects?

Like those pics, so true lol. As the hubby it was nerve wracking, afraid to say or do anything around her, it wasn't like when you knew her menstrual cycle was near, it just popped up out of the blue, omg. It was the most frustrating 10 year's i've ever experienced but have to tell you, every woman experience is different.

 

[Dribble]

Let her know she is just as desirable as ever.

 

[AveryElle]

I think I am about to enter into the fun world of menopause. I am seeing my doctor next week, but I am curious what you other ladies have experienced besides the usual. Hot flashes. hormonal changes, sex drive changes, dryness etc. I admit I've ready very little about the changes, but I'm curious what you have experienced.

Or what you men have experienced with the spouse.

I'm curious what you've done to combat the side effects?

Hey, do I count? I mean, I'm not there yet, but I certainly will be (thanks, breast cancer hormone therapy!).
I've been researching A TON about all of it and if I think of it, I'll share some instagram links of companies/professionals working in the space. I'll also share with you a brand of personal lubricant that many breast cancer patients swear by. It is not, of course, covered by insurance.

The one thing I know helps is physical activity - you need to strength train because bone loss is real regardless of how you enter menopause.

Additionally, acupuncture really does help with hot flashes. There's also an RX med to help with hot flashes (I forget what it's called, but it's all the rate on my breast cancer pages).

The overwhelming odds are, unfortunately, that most doctors know very little about menopause because there hasn't been a ton of research on it because no one gives a shit about women's health. If you have a doctor that actually knows about menopause and cares, you're very lucky. Most oncologists DGAF about the side effects since they're one job is to keep you cancer free. God bless America.

 

[zydrate]

 

[SassySheDevil]

Hey, do I count? I mean, I'm not there yet, but I certainly will be (thanks, breast cancer hormone therapy!).
I've been researching A TON about all of it and if I think of it, I'll share some instagram links of companies/professionals working in the space. I'll also share with you a brand of personal lubricant that many breast cancer patients swear by. It is not, of course, covered by insurance.

The one thing I know helps is physical activity - you need to strength train because bone loss is real regardless of how you enter menopause.

Additionally, acupuncture really does help with hot flashes. There's also an RX med to help with hot flashes (I forget what it's called, but it's all the rate on my breast cancer pages).

The overwhelming odds are, unfortunately, that most doctors know very little about menopause because there hasn't been a ton of research on it because no one gives a shit about women's health. If you have a doctor that actually knows about menopause and cares, you're very lucky. Most oncologists DGAF about the side effects since they're one job is to keep you cancer free. God bless America.

Thank you for all the info, Avery. I will look into everything you sent. I figured the more armed I am with info, the better for my Dr appointment next week. I have a list of things to ask her.

 

[Icy1]

I’m still working through the peri menopause stage. It really isn’t a fun stage of life.

You get all the physical and emotional changes while still getting a period.
Information about it is difficult to find possibly because it varies so much in how it affects each woman.

Plus I think there’s still a grin and bear it kind of attitude that women have been conditioned to adopt,

Also in such an “anti ageing” society maybe we don’t want to talk about it as it highlights that we can’t stop time marching by.

 

[Mo_Bandy]

Come on now

 

[AveryElle]

I’m still working through the peri menopause stage. It really isn’t a fun stage of life.

You get all the physical and emotional changes while still getting a period.
Information about it is difficult to find possibly because it varies so much in how it affects each woman.

Plus I think there’s still a grin and bear it kind of attitude that women have been conditioned to adopt,

Also in such an “anti ageing” society maybe we don’t want to talk about it as it highlights that we can’t stop time marching by.

Going through what I'm going through now, I have SUCH a different perspective for all the complaining men. "My wife never wants to have sex" "my wife is a bitch" blah blah.
I mean, trust me, I'd rather not have this perspective....but now that I have it, I have even less tolerance for philandering men who complain about their "sexless marriages". Going through this is FUCKING HORRIBLE. I mean, I have almost no tolerance or respect for people who are just open cheaters anyway, but there are so many dudes on here who just complain about their spouses instead of 1) trying to do anything about it 2) understanding at all what she's going through or 3) reevaluating how their behavior compounds their shitty situation. Menopause surely compounds #3 because your ability to emotionally regulate is decreased.
I have no choice, this is the lot I've been given, and I would feel fucking horrible if my spouse were on here - or any site - complaining away about my being a menopausal witch*. Ugh.

*instead of my usual witch personality

 

[AmberLGreen]

I don’t think I can help much Sassy. I think I am an oddity. I haven’t menstruated in 6 years and for about a year before that, it was hit and miss. I very rarely get hot flashes, I think I have had it happen about a dozen times in the past 6 years. I haven’t suffered with mood swings. I don’t get dryness. I am more horny now than I ever have been. I do feel really lucky that I haven’t gone through the normal changes that so many women have to endure. I keep my fingers crossed that the symptoms aren’t delayed and they will suddenly spring on me.

My sister has been going through menopause for the past 10 years and really suffers. Mainly from hot flashes but also terrible mood swings and fatigue. Her sex drive has really diminished. She was using HRT patches but they made her really ill as she has pancreatic issues and oestrogen can cause problems if you have any form of pancreatic illness.

 

[Icy1]

Going through what I'm going through now, I have SUCH a different perspective for all the complaining men. "My wife never wants to have sex" "my wife is a bitch" blah blah.
I mean, trust me, I'd rather not have this perspective....but now that I have it, I have even less tolerance for philandering men who complain about their "sexless marriages". Going through this is FUCKING HORRIBLE. I mean, I have almost no tolerance or respect for people who are just open cheaters anyway, but there are so many dudes on here who just complain about their spouses instead of 1) trying to do anything about it 2) understanding at all what she's going through or 3) reevaluating how their behavior compounds their shitty situation. Menopause surely compounds #3 because your ability to emotionally regulate is decreased.
I have no choice, this is the lot I've been given, and I would feel fucking horrible if my spouse were on here - or any site - complaining away about my being a menopausal witch*. Ugh.

*instead of my usual witch personality

I don’t think you can be aware of how difficult and beyond your control these changes can be if you’re not experiencing them. Couples have to make each other aware of how they are feeling without placing blame. That seems to be too difficult for many.

Anxiety and depression is very common amongst women going through these stages. Yet it’s not commonly known to watch out for it.

 

[AveryElle]

I don’t think you can be aware of how difficult and beyond your control these changes can be if you’re not experiencing them. Couples have to make each other aware of how they are feeling without placing blame. That seems to be too difficult for many.

Anxiety and depression is very common amongst women going through these stages. Yet it’s not commonly known to watch out for it.

Yes and doctors aren’t prepared to talked to their patients about them. I’m in ‘Chemo pause’ (mild hot flashes, but tolerable) and will be on hormone therapy for the rest of my life basically. Doctors need to be honest about how menopause impacts quality of life. But it’s still shitty when men bash their wives going through it. I’d be so angry and hurt if my spouse behaved like that.

 

[Paligirl]

So I think I'm almost through. I take hormones. And super glad that I did/do. I understand from friends that didnt take hormones that their skin got very crepey...and then were limited in options to remedy that. Also...here's a thing...its like...we become invisible. I'm not kidding. Its like people can no longer sense the hormones that drew people to us...Strange phenomenon. Talk to some of your other friends too. Our sexual viability changes. AND I heard that one's breasts can get bigger. But that was from a woman that didnt take hormones...

 

[Lady2020]

I was 50. Only thing I experienced was a few months of extreme hot flashes and a final humongous flood of a period. What I felt overall was relief--no more monthly flooding, pain, rushing to find a restroom. My sex drive didn't change. I was always highly sexed with the right man. Unfortunately, finding the right man hasn't changed much.

 

[Mtnmike]

I don’t think I can help much Sassy. I think I am an oddity. I haven’t menstruated in 6 years and for about a year before that, it was hit and miss. I very rarely get hot flashes, I think I have had it happen about a dozen times in the past 6 years. I haven’t suffered with mood swings. I don’t get dryness. I am more horny now than I ever have been. I do feel really lucky that I haven’t gone through the normal changes that so many women have to endure. I keep my fingers crossed that the symptoms aren’t delayed and they will suddenly spring on me.

My sister has been going through menopause for the past 10 years and really suffers. Mainly from hot flashes but also terrible mood swings and fatigue. Her sex drive has really diminished. She was using HRT patches but they made her really ill as she has pancreatic issues and oestrogen can cause problems if you have any form of pancreatic illness.

Happy you're one of the few that menopause affects horribly but also sad for your sister's predicament. The wife went through almost the same & it was bad, yea there were day's worse than other's but I felt sorry for having to deal with it. Hopefully her spouse is understanding & helps what he can.

 

[Mtnmike]

I don’t think you can be aware of how difficult and beyond your control these changes can be if you’re not experiencing them. Couples have to make each other aware of how they are feeling without placing blame. That seems to be too difficult for many.

Anxiety and depression is very common amongst women going through these stages. Yet it’s not commonly known to watch out for it.

I agree, I knew about it from a young age but still when it was nearing, I read, studied & ask questions but have to say, nothing prepared me for how bad it can or would get. I have a new respect for all women & what y'all have to endure in a lifetime.

 

[SassySheDevil]

Going through what I'm going through now, I have SUCH a different perspective for all the complaining men. "My wife never wants to have sex" "my wife is a bitch" blah blah.
I mean, trust me, I'd rather not have this perspective....but now that I have it, I have even less tolerance for philandering men who complain about their "sexless marriages". Going through this is FUCKING HORRIBLE. I mean, I have almost no tolerance or respect for people who are just open cheaters anyway, but there are so many dudes on here who just complain about their spouses instead of 1) trying to do anything about it 2) understanding at all what she's going through or 3) reevaluating how their behavior compounds their shitty situation. Menopause surely compounds #3 because your ability to emotionally regulate is decreased.
I have no choice, this is the lot I've been given, and I would feel fucking horrible if my spouse were on here - or any site - complaining away about my being a menopausal witch*. Ugh.

*instead of my usual witch personality

I'm truly hoping for not too many changes. I've already started experiencing some and that's why I made the appointment. But yes. I hate how the changes are making me feel.

I don’t think I can help much Sassy. I think I am an oddity. I haven’t menstruated in 6 years and for about a year before that, it was hit and miss. I very rarely get hot flashes, I think I have had it happen about a dozen times in the past 6 years. I haven’t suffered with mood swings. I don’t get dryness. I am more horny now than I ever have been. I do feel really lucky that I haven’t gone through the normal changes that so many women have to endure. I keep my fingers crossed that the symptoms aren’t delayed and they will suddenly spring on me.

My sister has been going through menopause for the past 10 years and really suffers. Mainly from hot flashes but also terrible mood swings and fatigue. Her sex drive has really diminished. She was using HRT patches but they made her really ill as she has pancreatic issues and oestrogen can cause problems if you have any form of pancreatic illness.

I've always ran hot. So, that doesn't feel much different. I've now gone something like 270 days without a period. But oddly after talking with Avery. I started spotting lol My biggest fear is the dryness. I've never experienced that. I've always been a super wet person with a high sex drive, and I can tell my drive is down. Granted some of that came after the cancer and trying to find my sexy again. But I can feel it even more now.

So I think I'm almost through. I take hormones. And super glad that I did/do. I understand from friends that didnt take hormones that their skin got very crepey...and then were limited in options to remedy that. Also...here's a thing...its like...we become invisible. I'm not kidding. Its like people can no longer sense the hormones that drew people to us...Strange phenomenon. Talk to some of your other friends too. Our sexual viability changes. AND I heard that one's breasts can get bigger. But that was from a woman that didnt take hormones...

Sadly because of my Cancer I cannot take hormones, or at least very minimal.

I was 50. Only thing I experienced was a few months of extreme hot flashes and a final humongous flood of a period. What I felt overall was relief--no more monthly flooding, pain, rushing to find a restroom. My sex drive didn't change. I was always highly sexed with the right man. Unfortunately, finding the right man hasn't changed much.

Yeah, these last 270ish days have been nice. I have not missed that part at all. I started young, so I always hoped I'd finish young.

 

[AveryElle]

@SassySheDevil some oncologists are Ok with vaginal estrogen supplements. I personally wouldn’t risk it but if side effects get bad enough, I’m sure it’s helpful for some people. If you don’t have ER+ cancer, the vaginal kind is probably fine. The oncologist on Instagram I shared with you discusses it.

Anyone doing HRT really needs to be aware of the connection between them and certain cancers and stay on top of screenings.

But it’s so true. I thought nothing made me feel less sexy than post partum anxiety. Turns out cancer was like FUCK AROUND…FIND OUT! They constantly ask me if there’s a chance of pregnancy and I laugh in their faces. It really fucks with every aspect of your being. Medical menopause on top of that will just be the icing on the chemo cake.

 

[SassySheDevil]

@SassySheDevil some oncologists are Ok with vaginal estrogen supplements. I personally wouldn’t risk it but if side effects get bad enough, I’m sure it’s helpful for some people. If you don’t have ER+ cancer, the vaginal kind is probably fine. The oncologist on Instagram I shared with you discusses it.

Anyone doing HRT really needs to be aware of the connection between them and certain cancers and stay on top of screenings.

But it’s so true. I thought nothing made me feel less sexy than post partum anxiety. Turns out cancer was like FUCK AROUND…FIND OUT! They constantly ask me if there’s a chance of pregnancy and I laugh in their faces. It really fucks with every aspect of your being. Medical menopause on top of that will just be the icing on the chemo cake.

100% understand. Someone else reached out to me last night and shared a few links with me about stuff they use (natural) so, I think today will be a good day for looking stuff up and taking notes.
Loving all the info though. Like you said. It is amazing how little menopause is talking about.

 

[SassySheDevil]

I found a few good web sites to find out some more information. These are helpful for me to ask questions.

https://www.menopause.org/for-women
https://www.acog.org/womens-health/faqs/the-menopause-years
https://www.womenshealth.gov/menopause
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/what-menopause

 

[SassySheDevil]

Okay. I had one person reach out to me with CBD suggestions for the lady bits. I've been reading up on this today and am curious if any of you (others) use any of these products and if so. What you use?

 

[cheekygirl75]

So I think I’m in the peri-menopause stage and if it’s going to be like this for the next ten years….

I thought peri & full menopause was all about not getting a period. Apparently there are those of us lucky ones who get longer & heavier ones! I feel like I’ve had a period every two weeks for the last 3-5 months. What the actual fuck.