Knowing

[impressive]

I took the plunge and submitted my first poem. I'm comfortable with my stories published here (and with my growth as an author), but poetry intimidates me for some reason.

Anyway, I'd appreciate feedback -- either in this thread or via e-mail.

The poem is entitled Knowing and it is located at:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=162144

TIA,

 

[sandspike]

good idea.....

Too many I's in the work. I knew U saw it. For me, it read
with less meaning beacuse of the shorter lines. The poem
was good, the subject matter is right up my alley. Now
wait for some other ideas and add them all together and
shitcan them.

 

[annaswirls]

Hey Impressive, I will check out your poem, but real quick on your av


I am not a churchy person, but I love this church. I saw your av and thought well, maybe she is looking.

We have plenty of wiccans, witches, athiests, christians, humanists etc etc etc the whole spectrum and a big interweave (sexual diversity) movement.

It doesn't matter what you "are" it matters what you love, what you believe is important (like helping others, working for social justice, seeking truth and meaning together, not just following standards because it is what has always been done, all humans have worth, people should be able to have a say in what matters to them....etcetc...)


Unitarian Universalism:

I don't want to push anything on you, but if it sounds good, you might want to check it out:

http://www.uua.org/



Anna

 

[impressive]

Re: Re: Knowing

I saw your av and thought well, maybe she is looking.

Thanks, but I'm not looking. (I can be easily turned off by messages touting this or that church/faith/religion, but you did a nice job of presenting the information in a way that I didn't find annoying or pushy. I commend you.)

Thanks for taking a peek at my crack (at poetry)!

 

[twelveoone]

I took the plunge and submitted my first poem. I'm comfortable with my stories published here (and with my growth as an author), but poetry intimidates me for some reason.

Anyway, I'd appreciate feedback -- either in this thread or via e-mail.

The poem is entitled Knowing and it is located at:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=162144

TIA,

Why didn't you turn the comments on?
For what it's worth, I like it, simple, direct, no big statements, no big words, says what it has to say with economy. TGet over your intimidation by poetry, and turn the goddam comments on!

 

[impressive]

Re: Re: Knowing

Get over your intimidation by poetry, and turn the goddam comments on!

I really prefer the e-mail feedback, and the PCs tend to dry up the real, in depth, feedback in favor of quickie one-liner kudos that (while nice) really don't help me to improve.

Thanks for the feedback here!

 

[BlueskyBeauty]

I took the plunge and submitted my first poem. I'm comfortable with my stories published here (and with my growth as an author), but poetry intimidates me for some reason.

Anyway, I'd appreciate feedback -- either in this thread or via e-mail.

The poem is entitled Knowing and it is located at:

http://www.literotica.com/stories/showstory.php?id=162144

TIA,

love your av!