Knob cheese, red wings, pussy farts...

[Liar]

...condom application panic, denture chafing, garlic jizz, doggy alignment disorder, accidental dump dip, sharp nails, sack punching, jewellery entanglement disaster, pube flossing...

There are so much going on in real life sex that you never quite hear about in smut stories.

Whaddaya think, would it be possible to write a story with the aforementioned elements as a natural ingredient (ok, maybe not all at once, but a handful), and still make it erotic instead of humororus?

Has it been done?

 

[Guest]

Okay... I don't even know what some of those are

 

[OhMissScarlett]

LOL. It just depends on the context, I suppose. I have a story about porn stars that goes into some of the aspects of the daily grind of the porn business. I tried to write it with just as much amusing failure moments as hot stuff.

 

[TxRad]

Okay... I don't even know what some of those are

What does it say about me that I know what they all are.

 

[feeeriek]

What does it say about me that I know what they all are.

your old *ducks and runs for cover*

 

[Edward Teach]

What does it say about me that I know what they all are.

Same here Tex.

I've read some pretty erotic descriptions of small hairs against the tongue. I think I recall sweetsubsarahh and carson shepard writing such.

 

[TE999]

Okay... I don't even know what some of those are

Neither do I, and I'm older than Tx...I guess I've led a sheltered life.

 

[MagicaPractica]

Hmmm, I don't know, but I'm getting pictures... and they aren't all that pleasant.

As to the question, sure. In small doses I'm sure it could be done. I wrote a story of "mature" love where the women needed lube because she just didn't produce it anymore. I thought it worked and so did the readers apparently. Taken to extremes, everything that can go wrong does, and it will naturally turn into humor. imho

 

[The_Fool]

What does it say about me that I know what they all are.

your old *ducks and runs for cover*

That you are a dirty old man?


Course I guess it takes one to know one and I knew what they all were too, some in a been there, done that, lost the teeshirt way.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I've had a character pull a pube off his tongue and twirl it between his fingers with an expression of great satisfaction...

 

[Boxlicker101]

I'm not really sure I have ever heard of all those things either, although I might just call them by different names. None of my characters have much trouble applying condoms, although sometimes one of them has to be shown.

I do mention male pubic hair tickling a person's nose and lips, and premature ejaculation and sharp nails digging into backs, and unpleasant tasting jizz, and a man who wore a t shirt with the Red Wing logo and a woman farting after masturbating herself and sucking off a man.

 

[secretme]

I happen to belong to the group of not entirely sure what all those are either. But I can guess. I can't really see using all of it in anything other than humor. But a flash fiction piece that used a majority of the terminology could be slot of fun...

 

[slyc_willie]

Personally, the image that came to mind when I read "doggy alignment disorder" was hilarious.

 

[Liar]

Okay... I don't even know what some of those are

Heh. Maybe I should write a Sex Antics Dictionary. What other terms can I add to that list?...

 

[Trudy_Antone]

All of it just makes me laugh. I can see it coming in to satire but for me personally it doesn't portray 'sexy'. We know that everyone has to take a dump but does it have to be written about?

 

[Guest]

What does it say about me that I know what they all are.

Naughty naughty slut
*wink and blows kiss*

 

[Stella_Omega]

Heh. Maybe I should write a Sex Antics Dictionary. What other terms can I add to that list?...

Dirty Sanchez

 

[Liar]

Dirty Sanchez

Wrong kind of yuck. That's deliberate yuck, that is.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Heh. Maybe I should write a Sex Antics Dictionary. What other terms can I add to that list?...

Felching.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Wrong kind of yuck. That's deliberate yuck, that is.

"antics" are usually deliberate, aren't they?

 

[Liar]

"antics" are usually deliberate, aren't they?

Buggered if I know. I'm the forriner here.

 

[ms.read]

Felching.

what???? scratches head while managing not to queef

 

[Boxlicker101]

what???? scratches head while managing not to queef

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Felching

 

[vrosej10]

Man, I must be old. I had to google some of these terms and I have got to say YUCK!!!

That being said, some realism in porn would be nice and interesting.

 

[KarennaC]

I think it would depend on the characters whether those things could be used in a story. Some of them would be less likely to seem satirical if the partners were long-term, rather than a one-night stand. Sex is humorous at times, but I think in a long-term situation the humor would be less likely to become awkward. Doggy Alignment Disorder could lead to one partner saying, "Okay, let's fuck this way instead" and having it turn out to be an even hotter position for them. Red Wings could lead to shower play.

I can't think of any way to make the other things turn into something hot, but then, I'm still on my first cup of coffee. And to me, laughing together about something funny happening during sex is hot anyway. Laughing together as a couple about anything can be hot.

Of course, I'm weird.