Knight Moves

[TheEarl]

Saw this and thought of all of you. Hilarious review of erotica that's below durtgirl quality.

http://dearauthor.com/wordpress/2009/03/05/review-knight-moves-by-jamaica-layne/

“Everything you see and feel is real, milady,” my knight says, caressing my bare back with his hands. “That, I promise you. If you desire proof, you only need consider the three very real climaxes you just had in your lady-softness.”

My eyes fly wide. “How did you know I came three times?”

He grins wider. “Your lady-softness told me herself when she was wrapped round my codpiece.”

The Earl

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Damn, that makes me feel down right literary.

 

[fieryjen]

Holy shit, I was actually laughing so hard I couldn't breathe while I read that.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

lady-softness.....*snort*

 

[jomar]

lady-softness.....*snort*

Awesome.

 

[slyc_willie]

lady-softness.....*snort*

I'm just trying to imagine it "wrapped around" a codpiece.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

I'm just trying to imagine it "wrapped around" a codpiece.

He just said it was soft, he didn't say it was tight

Or it was one of those Durex, extra slim codpieces, for maximum stimulation while still providing protection.

Ribbed for her pleasure.

 

[TE999]

Holy suffering Christ in a green hat! That has to be some of the worst writing I've ever read. And that's an e-book?

'queeb'?
'ladyfingers'?
'codpiece'?

My favorite is Lord Verdigris. Verdigris: A green or bluish patina on copper, brass or bronze surfaces exposed to the elements for a long period of time.

I guess the dude's green or blue.

 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Holy suffering Christ in a green hat! That has to be some of the worst writing I've ever read. And that's an e-book?

'queeb'?
'ladyfingers'?
'codpiece'?

My favorite is Lord Verdigris. Verdigris: A green or bluish patina on copper, brass or bronze surfaces exposed to the elements for a long period of time.

I guess the dude's green or blue.

I've heard of blueballs, but greenballs? Dude! Maybe that's what happens when you expose them to the elements for too long.

 

[TE999]

I've heard of blueballs, but greenballs? Dude! Maybe that's what happens when you expose them to the elements for too long.

That's what having brass balls will get you when you wear boxers...or let it all hang out!

 

[DesertPirate]

Awesome.

That is getting close to "Juan" territory

 

[driphoney]

Okay, laughing so hard my stomach hurts ... and not just from the story, but your humorous add-ons.

 

[slyc_willie]

He just said it was soft, he didn't say it was tight

From the sound of things, she must have been tenderized.

 

[Belegon]

My enjoyment of it is blunted by the treatment this website has given authors who did not give them the ammo Ms. Layne did.

 

[Stella_Omega]

And then, of course, someone shows up to complain that the reviewer is biased.

gottalovetheinternet...

 

[fieryjen]

My enjoyment of it is blunted by the treatment this website has given authors who did not give them the ammo Ms. Layne did.

Where? What?

 

[Belegon]

And then, of course, someone shows up to complain that the reviewer is biased.

gottalovetheinternet...

the site is a magnet for snarkiness and unsubstantiated attacks. They don't always create problems, but they have created enough of them to garner a Geraldo Rivera type reputation.

Stella, the people that frequent this site, particularly some of their regular comment posters, have said some extremely nasty things about some people that I know you respect.

I am not completely dismissive of DA, but I couldn't say I think of them in friendly terms either.

That is the end of my contributions to this discussion.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Tell me she invented those excerpts...

Comment posters can suck eggs through a garden hose, that's for sure. But that review was substantiated.

 

[Jack_Samuel]

i will never think bad things about mills and boon again

 

[DeeZire]

"Queeb" rings a bell. Isn't there another Q word like that? I have to give props to the author for finding opportunities to use fake, renaissance festival Q words. I think Q words have gotten short shrift in the literary community (although they remain quite popular in scrabble.)

 

[Stella_Omega]

Quim? That's a good "Q" querd...

 

[Safe_Bet]

My personal favorite is "Quiff". Quiff: Slang. a woman, esp. one who is promiscuous.

 

[Stella_Omega]

My personal favorite is "Quiff". Quiff: Slang. a woman, esp. one who is promiscuous.

Aren't there any words that mean "a man, esp one who is promiscuous?"

 

[Safe_Bet]

Aren't there any words that mean "a man, esp one who is promiscuous?"

Never had enough interest to check!