Kinky shopper KOed by vibrating knickers

[matriarch]

Kinky shopper KOed by vibrating knickers

The following cautionary tale must surely rate in the top five of "most embarrassing things that can happen to you in public - ever". According to UK tabloid the Sun, a 33-year-old Welsh housewife ended up in hospital after wearing Ann Summers vibrating Passion Pants to her local Asda supermarket in Swansea.

Unfortunately, she became "so aroused by the 2½-inch vibrating bullet inside that she fainted" then "fell against shelves and banged her head". This prompted the attendance of the paramedics who "found the black leatherette panties still buzzing". Having disabled the orgasmatronic underwear, they then whisked the senseless shopper to hospital where she made a complete recovery. Staff handed her back the Passion Pants upon discharge, discreetly concealed in a plastic bag.

To its credit, the Sun does not name the woman. We assume, however, that she will be shopping at her local Tesco for the next ten years or so, or until everyone in the Asda who witnessed her ordeal is dead or has succumbed to total amnesia - whichever comes soonest.

For the record, Ann Summers notes that Passion Pants are "Not for internal use". Now we know why. ®


I love, love, love, love this story........

Anyone else see a story line here??

 

[driphoney]

Thanks for the laugh.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Don't you English types use the term "pants" to mean "awful?"

We yanks would say "pants" to describe the instrument of her pants experience.

"Kids, don't try this at home!"

 

[matriarch]

Don't you English types use the term "pants" to mean "awful?"

We yanks would say "pants" to describe the instrument of her pants experience.

"Kids, don't try this at home!"

At its normal state, it's the same as your panties.

It can also mean 'pants' as in 'sucks'.

 

[Huckleman2000]

If you're into public masturbation, I suppose it's cheaper than buying a motorcycle or a horse.

 

[Athalia]

At its normal state, it's the same as your panties.

Oh, dear. Whatever happened to "knickers?" That was one of the first Britishisms I learned overseas (at least, regarding intimate apparel). I just loved that word. The way it rolled off your tongue...

 

[TxRad]

If you're into public masturbation, I suppose it's cheaper than buying a motorcycle or a horse.

An orgasm on a motorcycle can be even more hazardous to your health than those panties ever thought of. Hmmm, that could be the best selling feature for a trike there ever was.

 

[fuckwaffle]

or trying to find the longest banister in the world.

 

[driphoney]

or trying to find the longest banister in the world.

or waterskiing

 

[TxRad]

or waterskiing

Back in the day, a number of us used to go to the river every weekend to water-ski. At the end of the season we always gave out little plastic trophies for things like most improved, best slolums, best tricks.

It was mostly couples in this group but we had a few singles. One was a young lady that had never skied in her life. She wasn't exactly co-ordinated to say the least and kept forgetting to let go of the rope when she fell, which was often.

Her trophy was for the best hundred yard douche.

 

[TxRad]

or trying to find the longest banister in the world.

What's the best lube for a Bannister, I wonder? Astroglide?

 

[voluptuary_manque]

If the bannister was properly finished with 400 grit, filled and then given seven coats of oil (the first rubbed in with 1000 grit) and then waxed, it wouldn't need the Astroglide. And that will be $60/hr to do the finishing, thank-you very much.

 

[TxRad]

If the bannister was properly finished with 400 grit, filled and then given seven coats of oil (the first rubbed in with 1000 grit) and then waxed, it wouldn't need the Astroglide. And that will be $60/hr to do the finishing, thank-you very much.

Yeah, butt the imperfection are what gives the Bannister it's thrill. As smooth as you would do it, all you would get would be heat.

 

[driphoney]

Back in the day, a number of us used to go to the river every weekend to water-ski. At the end of the season we always gave out little plastic trophies for things like most improved, best slolums, best tricks.

It was mostly couples in this group but we had a few singles. One was a young lady that had never skied in her life. She wasn't exactly co-ordinated to say the least and kept forgetting to let go of the rope when she fell, which was often.

Her trophy was for the best hundred yard douche.

I was 13 or so the first and only time I got to go waterskiing on the Ohio River, and the sensation between my legs from the water plume shooting up between the skis was too much, I had to keep colapsing because of the intensity. The guy driving the boat thought I wasn't strong enough. That had nothing to do with it but I couldn't explain my problem. I always wanted to try again, but I would have taken, er, precautions the next time. The opportunity never came up.

 

[TxRad]

I was 13 or so the first and only time I got to go waterskiing on the Ohio River, and the sensation between my legs from the water plume shooting up between the skis was too much, I had to keep colapsing because of the intensity. The guy driving the boat thought I wasn't strong enough. That had nothing to do with it but I couldn't explain my problem. I always wanted to try again, but I would have taken, er, precautions the next time. The opportunity never came up.

If you do try it again, try it nude. Even more thrills.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I knew about horseback riding, motorcycles and treadle sewing machines but waterskiing? That's a new one on me. Never tried it, myself, yanno.

 

[oggbashan]

Oh, dear. Whatever happened to "knickers?" That was one of the first Britishisms I learned overseas (at least, regarding intimate apparel). I just loved that word. The way it rolled off your tongue...

eBay.co.uk has a whole section labelled "knickers".

Og

 

[TxRad]

eBay.co.uk has a whole section labelled "knickers".

Og

New or used?

 

[Huckleman2000]

New or used?

Well, someone had to go there. Thanks for making it brief.

 

[TxRad]

Well, someone had to go there. Thanks for making it brief.

 

[oggbashan]

New or used?

eBay's policy is that all used underwear must have been washed.

Spoilsports!

Og