Kinky Sex for First Timers

AnnyMouse28

French Vanilla
Joined
Oct 11, 2020
Posts
5,072
So, as previously discussed I am French Vanilla and don't have a lot of kinky fantasies. My partner wants me to tell him some kinky thing that I want to try. My problem is that I don't have anything to tell him. Give me your beginners guide to kink so I have something to bring to the bedroom.
 
So, as previously discussed I am French Vanilla and don't have a lot of kinky fantasies. My partner wants me to tell him some kinky thing that I want to try. My problem is that I don't have anything to tell him. Give me your beginners guide to kink so I have something to bring to the bedroom.

Some ideas:
  • suggest you will stick your finger up his bum next time you are giving him BJ
  • suggest you would like to feed him a cream pie after he cums in you
  • how about bit of playful spanking - whichever way, either receiving or giving?
 
I suppose a good starting point would be to list your turn ons and your turn offs then try to find activities that conform to those things. Start small and slow, and don’t force yourself to try something you know you won’t like. Kink isn’t for everyone, and being vanilla is perfectly okay.
 
Some ideas:
  • suggest you will stick your finger up his bum next time you are giving him BJ
  • suggest you would like to feed him a cream pie after he cums in you
  • how about bit of playful spanking - whichever way, either receiving or giving?

He has expressed interest in butt play. I would like to start with a toy and then maybe work up to using my fingers.
 
He has expressed interest in butt play. I would like to start with a toy and then maybe work up to using my fingers.

I would definitely suggest finger(s) before toys - any toy will be thicker and harder to get in... And using fingers is more intimate too.
 
So, as previously discussed I am French Vanilla and don't have a lot of kinky fantasies. My partner wants me to tell him some kinky thing that I want to try. My problem is that I don't have anything to tell him. Give me your beginners guide to kink so I have something to bring to the bedroom.
Step A. *Visual kinky , have him take you shopping 🛍️ trying on a few seductive things he picks out for you to seduce him in that will take you both out of your comfort zones.

Shopping together online works too. The point is the visuals of kinky fashions and their effects. The irl conversation about why or whatever was picked to try on ect. Ect.

Step B. Wear your hair in a *keep your hair out of your face blow job ponytail or in pig tails. Something he can grip and control. Introducing hair pulling giving and receiving. The conversation could also lean towards your oral techniques or preferences. Both giving in receiving.

Step C. Sensory play is fun to explore. Ice 🧊 , massage oils , genital massaging mutual masturbation eyes 👀 wide open.

I’m defining this as kinky -light . It’s just something different that invites and encourages exploration in the moment.

For light impact play I’d suggest that you explore giving him a hand spanking first. Something not heavy but a test to establish kink and fetish bounties. A 🫱 smack with a butt cheek squeeze maybe , then it’s your turn to receive the butt cheek attention. Test what’s pleasure , what’s pain , what’s next that sorta play scenario.

My logic is by him asking you to bring the kinky suggestions he might be a little on the submissive side but doesn’t know how to approach it irl.


Good luck 🍀

Finger
 
My logic is by him asking you to bring the kinky suggestions he might be a little on the submissive side but doesn’t know how to approach it irl.


Good luck 🍀

Finger

From what I’ve been told he is far from submissive but more worried about asking for things that might be out of my comfort zone. I’ve told him to not be afraid to ask for things. I am very open to exploring and will likely find things I enjoy.
 
From what I’ve been told he is far from submissive but more worried about asking for things that might be out of my comfort zone. I’ve told him to not be afraid to ask for things. I am very open to exploring and will likely find things I enjoy.
Well then , 😈 personally I’d spin that into something else then. If you’re open to exploring and experimenting I’d ask him what his number one fetish is and if could he explain where the urge came from for that particular fetish.

1. Is it a body part ?
2. Is it a role play fetish.
3. Is it kink/ fetish combo that scenes into an intimate play sesh with penetration or just a mental sensory scene.

My logic being you’ve *tasked him now verbally to be in a kink mind set. He will either take the lead or not. At the very least it will lessen that burden of you having to be leading the charge in your kink exploration.

Somebody more or less has to steer the boat 🛶 imo

Of course this person is a complete stranger and I’m ball parking my opinion more towards giving you advice rather than them.
 
A good thing to start with is,only you,ve got to be totally open&honest about it,no matter if it,s a bit taboo or pervert.Write down min 10 fantasies&fetish you,ve got but never told ,put themtogether in a bowl and start to take on,it helps to start to know each other,but never forget it must be with respect for each other ad if you don,t like his&her fantasy ,talk about it but never get mad
 
From what I’ve been told he is far from submissive but more worried about asking for things that might be out of my comfort zone. I’ve told him to not be afraid to ask for things. I am very open to exploring and will likely find things I enjoy.
If he's worried about over-stepping your boundaries that's actually a really good sign that he's a decent person but also a sign you guys need to discuss boundaries. That's where I always start with a new partner once things turn sexual. There's no point in making suggestions or trying something if you're in the dark about what they are not okay with and they don't know what you're not okay with. Talk. Openly. Honestly. At length. Once you figure out all the things that are yesses, maybes and hard nos it will be easier to find places where you'll both be comfortable and then there's no fear in doing something unwanted. For example: "I want to try butt stuff." Great! My butt? Your butt? Both butts? Pressure? Licking? Fingering? Toys? Strapping him to the bed and pegging him? And always remember that just because it's a yes or maybe in theory doesn't mean it will be in practice. Solid communication is the cornerstone of safe, sane, and consensual!
 
If he's worried about over-stepping your boundaries that's actually a really good sign that he's a decent person but also a sign you guys need to discuss boundaries. That's where I always start with a new partner once things turn sexual. There's no point in making suggestions or trying something if you're in the dark about what they are not okay with and they don't know what you're not okay with. Talk. Openly. Honestly. At length. Once you figure out all the things that are yesses, maybes and hard nos it will be easier to find places where you'll both be comfortable and then there's no fear in doing something unwanted. For example: "I want to try butt stuff." Great! My butt? Your butt? Both butts? Pressure? Licking? Fingering? Toys? Strapping him to the bed and pegging him? And always remember that just because it's a yes or maybe in theory doesn't mean it will be in practice. Solid communication is the cornerstone of safe, sane, and consensual!
Right here! ☝️☝️☝️

Talk and discussion is the cornerstone of everything for me. Sexual as well as who’s turn is it to wash the dishes.

Discussion abt sexual topics in a non sexual entitlement is also helpful. “I’ve been think about buttplay . What exactly turns you on about it? What fantasies do you have? Here’s what I I’ve considered and thought about.”

I also like the ideas by a few posters above… there are good lists of sexual kinks, fetishes, scenarios that are out there and you can each fill one out. I’vc seen some that have a column for “never”, “maybe” or definitely.”
 
My favorite first step is a blindfold for kinky sex. It does a wonderful job of changing the headspace of the sub by them not knowing what's going to happen next. It's also something easy to remove in a second if things get too intense. It's something so small and works wonders
 
My favorite first step is a blindfold for kinky sex. It does a wonderful job of changing the headspace of the sub by them not knowing what's going to happen next. It's also something easy to remove in a second if things get too intense. It's something so small and works wonders
That works for some people but not all. I am visual and sensory deprivation never worked for me. I want to see and hear and feel. Nothing turns me on more than hearing a sexy voice in my ear. I am sure it works for some but for others not so much!
 
Right here! ☝️☝️☝️

Talk and discussion is the cornerstone of everything for me. Sexual as well as who’s turn is it to wash the dishes.

Discussion abt sexual topics in a non sexual entitlement is also helpful. “I’ve been think about buttplay . What exactly turns you on about it? What fantasies do you have? Here’s what I I’ve considered and thought about.”

I also like the ideas by a few posters above… there are good lists of sexual kinks, fetishes, scenarios that are out there and you can each fill one out. I’vc seen some that have a column for “never”, “maybe” or definitely.”
One thing to be considered is that you may not know what works for you untill you have tried it. Getting to the point where you are willing to try things and can communicate on that level of trust may be the most difficult part.
 
So, as previously discussed I am French Vanilla and don't have a lot of kinky fantasies. My partner wants me to tell him some kinky thing that I want to try. My problem is that I don't have anything to tell him. Give me your beginners guide to kink so I have something to bring to the bedroom.
There is a "How To" section in stories and forums. I would read those. You partner is good for breaching the subject espeicailly if you are headed toward a deeper relationship. Some times you do not know you like something till you have tried it. Experience is the best teacher. Kinky sex is always better in a deep relationship. I wish you guys best! Vanilla is my favorite flavor with some kinky stuff on top! A chocolate sunday with a cherry on top!
 
There is a "How To" section in stories and forums. I would read those. You partner is good for breaching the subject espeicailly if you are headed toward a deeper relationship. Some times you do not know you like something till you have tried it. Experience is the best teacher. Kinky sex is always better in a deep relationship. I wish you guys best! Vanilla is my favorite flavor with some kinky stuff on top! A chocolate sunday with a cherry on top!
My married GF is vanilla, but after getting her to O, she is now cocksucking.........good for starters and good enough. Wait until I try my G spot buzzer on her.....
 
My married GF is vanilla, but after getting her to O, she is now cocksucking.........good for starters and good enough. Wait until I try my G spot buzzer on her.....
That is the point of no return, especially if it is one of those strong ones.
 
This poor dame had never had an O, is married to a jerk who used to smack her around. And, a good mom and loyal wife....
Hopefully you will soon have her to the point where she begs you to stop because she can't take it.
 
Roll playing. I'll leave out the roll I played but it was fun and exhilarating. Outside was another one. it was only the backyard but still fun. I was probably underage (20) for these two (or not if I'm not allowed to say that) but a first's a first. My first time having sex was in the dungeon, and that was fun too.
 
Roll playing. I'll leave out the roll I played but it was fun and exhilarating. Outside was another one. it was only the backyard but still fun. I was probably underage (20) for these two (or not if I'm not allowed to say that) but a first's a first. My first time having sex was in the dungeon, and that was fun too.
My stars!
 
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