Kink Friendly Doctor

[Submission13]

Does anyone on LIT have a doctor that is kink friendly? It would be a wonderful resource for information!! Or is there a kink friendly sex information phone line??

 

[SweetErika]

The NCSF and some other organization(s) put out lists of kink-friendly/aware professionals. Click me or google 'kink aware friendly professionals' and similar terms (e.g. if you're looking for a poly- or GLBT- aware professional, replace 'kink' with those terms).

However, many professionals don't put themselves on these lists because about scaring some of the less openminded people off, being persecuted in their communities, etc.

If you're involved in your local community, asking for referrals there might be a good idea, too.

What type of info would you be looking for with a phone line? I guess I'm having trouble imagining info that isn't available online, in the local community, via books or kink-aware professionals.

 

[CNYCarol]

Although I may be wrong, I believe most Doctors are "kink friendly".

My gf and I share the same doctor, and my experience is they are very open to discussing "kink" related problems.

Please, NEVER be afraid to discuss your sexual activities with your doctor.

 

[SweetErika]

Although I may be wrong, I believe most Doctors are "kink friendly".

My gf and I share the same doctor, and my experience is they are very open to discussing "kink" related problems.

Please, NEVER be afraid to discuss your sexual activities with your doctor.

I hate to say it, but you're wrong.

Just like there are lots of closed-minded people, there are plenty of doctors, therapists and other professionals who are unaware of and against kink, alternative lifestyles, etc. It's not uncommon for them to automatically assume D/s relationships and S&M are abusive and dangerous. Some go so far as to report what are actually completely consensual, healthy relationships as abusive to the police and/or Child Protective Services under the mandatory reporting laws.

Even the DSM still classifies many things that can be perfectly healthy as "disorders." And plenty of health care practitioners rely on the DSM for info. Click me for more info.

The amount of ignorance, misconception and prejudice is precisely why there are lists of kink-aware, GLBT and alternative lifestyle-friendly professionals out there.

The idea that we should be able to discuss anything and everything with our health care providers is a great notion, but unfortunately, it's not reality in many cases.

I absolutely wouldn't discuss kink with a provider unless I was positive they were kink-aware. For instance, my massage therapist is an active member of the local kink and GLBT communities, so I know I'm safe discussing kink and sexuality with her. I'd never bring it up to my primary care doctor, OTOH, because while he's a great doc, he's old, traditional and conservative.

 

[sugaredwalls]

I concur SweetErika. I asked my endocrinologist if my high sex drive correlated to my hyperthyroid condition and she got all flustered and embarrassed, which I thought was strange since it was a simple question. She stammered her way through an answer, which really did not satisfy my inquiry.

Since it wasn't anything urgent, I just googled for my own answers.

 

[SweetErika]

I concur SweetErika. I asked my endocrinologist if my high sex drive correlated to my hyperthyroid condition and she got all flustered and embarrassed, which I thought was strange since it was a simple question. She stammered her way through an answer, which really did not satisfy my inquiry.

Since it wasn't anything urgent, I just googled for my own answers.

Yikes!

I don't think most docs are sexaphobic like that, but when it comes to things outside of conventional, and probably hetero, sex, whether the professional will be at least somewhat aware and friendly or not is a real crapshoot.

 

[sugaredwalls]

It just goes to show that not all doctors are comfortable with ALL topics of health.

I'll have to dig it up or it can be googled but not long ago I read an article titled 50 things your doctor doesn't want you to know, or something titled like that.

Crikey, some of the stuff doctors think of patients is pretty bad.

 

[shiny5437]

Unfortunately, the day to day ins and outs of human sexuality aren't particularly covered in medical text books. Some people have special interests but otherwise it's not something medics have any particular training in. The mechanics of the physiology, plus if you have specific medical problems then yeah they should be able to handle that.

Doctors don't (or at least shouldn't) make stuff up. They have to work off an evidence base of research. However, I imagine there isn't much research on the kink side of things so your doc may not have all the facts to give responsible advice that they would like to give.

Plus you have to remember that most docs are terrified of litigation and accusations of malpractice so they tend to keep the consultations fairly non-sexual for fear of saying things people may take the wrong way.

However to judge their patients by their sexual conduct is sorta unprofessional though.