KatieTay collection

[KatieTay]

Hi, I'm the author of the KatieTay stories. You can call me Katie.

I've been watching the ratings for my stories with some bemusement, because I seem to get very varied ratings with nary a comment.

The numbers seem to indicate a few 1-bombs, as I believe the term is, combined with a few 5-bombs.

I'm open to criticism. I am very aware I'm not writing anything like great literature. This isn't what I usually write. My stuff here on Literotica has 1 purpose and 1 purpose only -- to make myself puddle as quickly as possible, and to help others get wet/hard as quickly. I actively fight my tendency to dwell on deep emotions, to wax poetic or lyrical, to set up plausible plots. Maybe another series.

So, maybe anyone who has read and rated my stories without commenting, can comment either on the story itself, or here? I'd love to hear responses, be they positive or negative.

Thanks.

 

[LaRascasse]

Welcome to the discussion circle.

I have just read chapter 1 so far. I found it a bit primitive in the sense that two women actually "compete" over a guy (not a bad thing if done correctly). Why wasn't Katie mad at Jim for hooking up with that muscled Ryoko? (that would be the natural reaction) Is there relationship like: I'll dump you if someone stronger comes along? If so, give some background and make it a bit more plausible.

On the bright side, the wrestling bit was pretty well done. The sexual undertones were nicely laid out. I never thought that "to the victor go the spoils" would apply to boyfriends, but if you can pull it off why not?

I gave it 3/5 (Keep writing), will read the forthcoming chapters.

Keep writing

 

[KatieTay]

Hi,

Thanks for your comments. Yes, I know there is major suspension of disbelief going on here. Cheating is something I find utterly impermissible in my own life, so I have no real idea why I chose to experiment with this story idea for the series. It just sort of came to me.

Perhaps I should've done as you said, and laid out that background, but I'm also experimenting in the sense of doing a 1st person real time narration, which I'm finding increasingly awkward as the series goes along. It only comes into its own when I'm doing the wrestling/sex scenes, but otherwise it makes for very poor transitions and expositions.

Thanks for the encouragement.

 

[El Folo]

No reason you have to stick with the style. Comics, movie sequels, tv shows, they'll change a style if they feel they need to.

OR, they force the style at the expense of everything else, and the later installments kind of suck compared to the first bit of brilliance that got them noticed to begin with.

 

[LaRascasse]

Moving on

Done with Ch.02

"Suspension of disbelief" is the phrase that came to my mind the most. But I strangely felt myself drawn in by this modern day caveman attitude. The strongest of the tribe have the preference of mating rights. It is still followed by a few tribes, but probably not in cities.

Definitely a worthwhile storyline. Very different from what else I have read. The sexfight was again well done. You have a distinctive style of narrative which I like. Your use of pure physical strength as a sexual parameter is unexpected (I'm beginning to warm up to it).

I gave it 4/5

Will read the rest later, but it looks promising. If you want any sort of clarification, advice or suggestions with the story do not hesitate to contact me.

 

[SevenSquared]

I think the problem with this series (that I have read so far) is that it takes concepts that are quite unusual and thrusts them straight into the story without really giving the reader a chance to catch up. Obviously it's fine to include unusual sexual practices in stories, but if you don't want to lose a lot of readers straight away you have to put the characters' actions in some kind of context. I developed absolutely no empathy with the narrator character and, half way through chapter 1, I was considering the story more funny than sexy, imagining two women participating in ritualistic semi-naked wrestling games to get the attention of 'some guy' whose motivations had never been really explained.

Maybe you need 500 words or so at the beginning of the story to explain the background of Jim and Katie's relationship. If the reader could get some kind of insight into why physical strength on the woman's side was such a big deal in the relationship (on both sides) they would more happily follow along when this gets played out in the love triangle. The fact you are scoring some 5s indicates that some people are 'getting it' and finding it hot, but the 1s and 2s you are getting are probably from people who, like me, just never managed to get on board. I started to understand the characters and get into the story somewhere in chapter 2, but obviously most people are not going to get that far if they are just not enjoying it.

On the plus side, the story is most well written, the emotions you try to convey are believable and you explore a (for want of a better word) fetish that is quite unusual, which makes your story unique.

 

[KatieTay]

Thanks both for your responses.

Seven^2 you're right, I'm jumping right in. It's true that this fetish is not common at all, so unavoidably I will get low ratings. It's not a problem with me. I do wish however that they would at least comment so I know what they're thinking, else I'm like - ok, 5, why? it dropped to a 4 with only 2 more votes, why?

Aviendha33 has done a similar series but much better than I have with this one. He puts in catfighting and sexfighting where I use wrestling and muscles, but otherwise the story dynamics are similar. He manages to balance the pace extremely well. I'm impressed by his stories.

 

[LaRascasse]

Done with chapter 3.

The "Girlfriend Olympics" theme is really beginning to appeal to me. Complete with rivalries and friends who help Katie train up future bouts.

My only criticism here would be that Jim has been dehumanized. It's as if he has no will or desires (apart from sexual) of his own. He just blindly follows what his current strongest girlfriend tells him. Maybe something to think about.

 

[KatieTay]

Strange, I think my previous post disappeared somehow. I had responded to you. Oh well.

My intention in the stories was precisely that, to let him just fade and become almost a non sequitur. Maybe this is a shortcoming.

Perhaps some guy can help me think from his point of view, if I want to try for more plausibility? What could be running through his mind? To me he's just pussy-whipped and overwhelmed with the sheer sexuality of the muscular females in his life. He's well-meaning most of the time but he's just out of his depth. Also, since Katie is consenting to all this, he is just carried along by the tide.

 

[LaRascasse]

I'll just say that the guy is just 'meat on a rack'. He has no personality to speak of. Sort of an add on to the whole ensemble of muscled women. He has little use except as a object for competition.

I would prefer all the main characters of any story to have unique personalities. This series strikes me as one dimensional as I can see only two kinds of people.

1. Guys with no personalities.
2. Girls from the stone age, who try to win their mates through physical prowess.

Actually, even the girls are one dimensional. All of them follow this strange 'alpha woman' creed. They should, preferably, be more than just tits and pussies with muscles. Give them thoughts.

Just a few suggestions. It's your story finally, so it's totally your call what you want to do.

 

[El Folo]

Yes, but is being one dimensional a bad thing? If dimensions would hamper a particular story, are they truly needed?

 

[KatieTay]

Actually that's an interesting idea. I should've written it as a cavewoman story. Why didn't I??

Could be because I wanted modern amenities. Oh well... maybe another series.

 

[KatieTay]

Hi there,

This is for anyone who has read my latest installment. I'm noticing it's rated lower than all the others, and I don't mind as such, except that there are no comments. So, I don't know what its specific inadequacies are (apart from the ones others have already pointed out).

Would those of you who have read it and rated it low, care to share why? I'd be happy to know. Thank you.

 

[LaRascasse]

Hi there,

This is for anyone who has read my latest installment. I'm noticing it's rated lower than all the others, and I don't mind as such, except that there are no comments. So, I don't know what its specific inadequacies are (apart from the ones others have already pointed out).

Would those of you who have read it and rated it low, care to share why? I'd be happy to know. Thank you.

As I have said before, this "alpha woman" creed takes some getting used to. These woman are so...... not feminine!

In this story, you took it one step further when you had Ryoko dominate over Jim (who still has no discernible persona). The whole scaring him into cheering for Edna was a bit over the top.

Also, the physical humiliation coupled with having to see Jim being blown by his ex was a bit excessive. I actually feel for Jim, if his taste in women is that shallow (based on arm wrestling matches and other random acts of physical domination).

On the bright side, you're storyline is different from most others on the site. It has piqued my interest to see where it goes. Keep writing.

 

[KatieTay]

Lol... indeed. I know it's highly unusual. Perhaps I should look into posting on dianathevalkyrie's website too...

I think "normal" scenarios are not what I want to get into at this point. Conventional sexual situations are covered very well by many authors here.

I don't know if you have ever read WrestlingQuill on here. He has only a couple of stories so far but that sort of flavour is what I am going for.

His main character is a rather wimpy male, and his wife is more alpha than he is. They do mixed sex-wrestling matches in a sort of league. That's up my alley too.

 

[LaRascasse]

Keep writing though......... I find it interesting.

 

[KatieTay]

Coming to an end soon. Last 2 chapters.