justa coupla questions...

[Kasha]

Well, I have a couple of how to questions for ya'll.. First off, let me start by letting ya'll know I am rather new to this..although I lost the virgin under my name rather quickly. Anyhow..just so you also know who you are responding to.. I am 25 married female.. okay here goes. First question is: I have gotten involved in a couple of threads and they seem to have just fizzled out. I want to know if that is "normal" and what I should do about it. Also in some of these threads I feel like I am really being descriptive and really writing well, but I feel like I am putting forth most of the effort. I hope that doesn't sound bitchy or anything because that is not how it is intended. Anyhow I would like to know what I should do..how do i get involved in a lasting thread.. any advice would be GREATLY appreciated. The second question is why do men need to masturbate..well not exactly that..why do they need to jack off if they are in relationships with people. I have asked my husband and he just says it's hard to give up a habit that you've been accustomed to for years. i sometimes get mad about it...I get turned on by it as well.. I would just rather him do it with me than him just doing it alone like while I'm sleeping...anyhow...those were the two things that have been on my mind...I would really really appreaciate the feedback on either question....Thanks ya'll... @>`--------Kasha

[Edited by Kasha on 01-29-2001 at 03:21 AM]

 

[Andra_Jenny]

No, I can kill a thread faster than anyone. You have groups of people with similar interest who have gotten to know each other is all. I take part, yes. Do I get terribly involved, no. It is entertainment as well as socialization. Just like notes in school. Pretend Laurel is the teacher and you are tring to sneak things over BUSH IS GREAT on her

Men get turned on by everything. Unless you want to service him every 15 minutes, just relax a bit. Try letting him know you are masturbating, but he can't watch (and be very noisy!).

Not that I know that much.

And now that I've answered, this thread is done, so don't think it is you.

 

[Kasha]

lol

Hmmmmmmmmmmm... I think maybe I should rename myself... Dethreader, or maybe Darthreader... I seem to have that effect on the threads...no response..I really thank you for answering... I get so excited when I see that i have a response..lol..how sad..oh well...*hanging head low* I will keep watching.....maybe someone will be bored enough to post.. *kasha*

 

[Closet Desire]

Funny thing that...

...I lost interest in masturbating by myself when CD-able and I joined up. That was five years ago. Why? I've wondered about that and I think it's because she really is my fantasy. And, I suppose, because her sex drive matches my own...sometimes exceeds it even. It's that simple. We often masturbate together...either as foreplay or as an end all...very erotic!

As for killing threads. Some endure. Some don't. It's one of the great mysteries of life. Just remember that even though lots of people on here share many common interests, not all are comfortable writers or typists. I'm a bit over the top because I am a writer and words trip off onto the keyboard like it was Teflon. I have friends whose emails to me are never more than three or four lines because it is an effort. But friendship is more than that...so we pick up the phone when we have a lot to share. Threads are a limited medium. I guess I'm saying don't worry with it...most threads die of natural causes.

How's that for a response? (grin)

 

[Andra_Jenny]

Good response!

Another thing that occured to me while I was reading the morning papers (online) and that is timing. Look at when the thread is started and when the replies are. If you are one of the last ones... I think people tend to answer and move on, without looking back because there are so many threads.

 

[Celestiale]

Hey Kasha! I know what you mean about writing...I am like that too. I spend time trying to be creative and write nice, descriptive posts (usually!!! heehee), and it's frustrating when the people that you are in the thread with leave you one-line replies to work with! Of course I'm talking about the RP threads and not topics on the general board. Anyway, I guess I'd suggest that you read some of the threads and get a feel for the writers that are writing more like yourself. There are some great topics on the RP boards that I'd love to join, but won't if I see that the poster's involved don't write the way I do. Have a look around, and just so ya know, we could really use more poster's on the RP boards!



[Edited by Celestiale on 02-10-2001 at 10:10 PM]

 

[Easy Boy]

About your second question...

I masturbate because I like to fantasize, and I like to give it expression.

Here's a thought, for how to keep hubby's masturbation from isolating you from each other. Have you asked him to masturbate for you? Tell him you're just curious, and want to watch. He might like it. If he does, next step is to ask him to tell you what he's fantasizing about while he masturbates, while you watch him. For this to work, you've got to both understand that he's just fantasizing, and just 'cause he likes to think about being taken by a band of Amazon warriors, doesn't mean he really wants it to happen.

It might become a spicy part of your joint sex life.

 

[Temptress_1960]

Re: hubby's masturbation..

I would suggest you read "Men in Love" by Nancy Friday... it is about male fantasies. She discusses why men masturbate, even when involved in a committed relationship.

Very informative.

 

[Bs]

Well lets see.......

I would say that, for me, the problem seems to be one of convience ....... not wanting to wake the wife..... take the time to bring her up to speed ....... or, ..... she's busy going to work .... cleaning house..... cooking supper..... or any other number of things..... nothing personal ... just easier....

as an example she asked me for sex last night I told her that I had to finish working first then I would be in but told her she could start without me.... she took great offence(sp) to that and told me to forget it. so i did


Now as for killing threads don't sweat it......

this is just my opinion also but this is a B/B and not a chat room....... a place for lots of people to post their opinions and read others..... and not carrying on long conversations........

this may not be a very popular opinion but then again neither is voting Republican and sticking up for Bush...... but If you don't stand up for somthing you'll fall for anything........

 

[Kasha]

yippee!!!..good responses

Oh..I am so happy, thank you all for replying.. As I said before i get a real kick out of people actually replying to my questions. Okay. So here is what I have gained..essentially, don't sweat the small stuff about the threads. I read a lot of the b/b, but I also read almost all the threads. Some are so long already I am not sure about the etiquette of just popping in when people seem to be in a "clique", ya know. I do get really frustrated when I put a lot of thought and energy into a character and then *poof* the thread derails. I am thinking of starting my own thread and making very definite rules..but hey it's not like I could really enforce anything..LOL.. I do appreciate all the advice though...Thank ya'll SO MUCH!! As far as the second question. I guess I wasn't clear about the whole man masturbating thing. My husband and I have a FANTASTIC sex life. Mutual masturbation is definitely included. I do thin my sex drive sometimes superscedes his but he is catching up lately. I was asking about the jacking off essentiallly because I have heard a lot of women complain about it and I do sometimes get "jealous" if he wants to do it on his own. I have never caught him and if I did I would probably be so excited by it I would probably just join in. It is hard for me to well..ya know keep my hands off if he is touching himself. We have een together so long and I just guess...well ya know the old saying...what's yours is mine.. (and what mine is mine j/k). Well..I look forward to more postys from everyone... @%<~~~~~~~[Kasha

[Edited by Kasha on 01-30-2001 at 02:08 AM]

 

[ContessaR]

I know how you feel about the threads

and the cliques, but just pretend you're the new girl in school. I used to feel bad about it, but now I just put my in my .20 (adjusted for inflation ), and whatever comes of it does.

As far as the masturbation thing goes...I totally dig it when my man masturbates, esp. when I catch him in the act. It's a real turn-on to watch him, and I learn how he really likes to be touched. Of course, I masturbate all the time, and HE'S the one who gets threatened. Go figure.

 

[Liber8]

Not only for men!

It's not only men who masturbate, even in satisfying relationships.
I'm a 31 year old woman, currently single. I've masturbated for as long as i can remeber. I a child, it was fairly unsophisticated (little more than rubbing my self) and i was unaware of any sexual connection: it just felt good!!

Now it's developed into a more sophistacted technique (the discovery of the vibrator was a revaltion!, and internet access to stories feed my imagination).

i really enjoy sex. When I'm not in a relationship, it's not in the forefront of my mind mots of the time. But getting the urge can leave me feeling edge and frustrated if i don't do something about it.
As I'm getting older, I'm less happy to have casual flings and one night stands. Masturabtion helps keep a smile on my face during the 'dry spells'!! I'd`prefer the real thing if possible, but these days not without some kind of emotional commitment.

When i am in a sexual relationship, i probably masturbate even more!! Being in a satisfying sexual relationship puts sex to the front of my mind for most of the day! I feel 'switched on' a lot of the time, and having a live focus for my fantasies adds to the pleasure. Can't be bonking all day every day, and it's not always possible to be together as much as you'd like. It's something that keeps me going in the in between times, and maintains the sense of arousal for the relationship as a whole.
Masturbating when i'm in a relationship is usually highly satisfying (altho not a replacement for the real thing), while masterbating during the 'dry spells' is generally more a mere physical release.

Just some of MY thoughts on masturbation.

 

[Guru]

 

[willywanker]

Hey Kasha, I know what you mean about trying to write something that will help people imagine the place, the surrounding, and you get someone posting "Yeah, suck it"
And I too have been on the end of a couple of threads that died in mid stream, even mid sex a couple of times, LOL
But I have had more luck lately, been writing in one thread on the Sexual Role Playing thread for almost 5 months now.

On mastrubation, I haven't really given it a lot of thought. When I have sex with my wife, its great, totally fulfilling. But I like to make sure that its as good for her as it is for me. I think thats why I still mastrubate. Its just about me, I don't have to worry about if its good for her, I don't have to wait til she cums. I can do what feels good to me for as long or as short a time as I want. So put it down for me as my private time. It does piss my wife off tho when she wants to have sex and I can't cum again cause I already did myself, but she gets over it since I can last LOTS longer the second time.

 

[Guru]

 

[robbied]

jumping in at the end

Kasha,

I know what you mean about feeling awkward to jump in on a thread that's been going a while, but here I am doing it anyway.

I think we all feel like we've killed a couple of threads, but I'm sure that is just little insecurities popping up and in reality threaders just surf and float by nature. But now you can say you've started a thread that continued for a while.

The question you had about masturbation particularly perked my attention (how's that for a pun ), since I have thought the same thing in the recent past. I am 26 and married, and my wife and I masturbate regularly. Now, anyways. For the first couple years of our relationship, we thought that by having sexual pleasures on our own, we were saying that the other person wasn't good enough to do it for us. But one time when she went away for 2 weeks and we experimented with phone sex, we discovered that we had both been missing something that there was no need to miss. We have sex together fairly regularly, and it is amazing. And just as regularly, we'll both masturbate on our own, and the best part is telling the other person about it later. It's like saying "I was so horny that I had to make myself cum, that's how badly I missed you." So you see, the masturbation thing is not a replacement of sex or of sexual turn on by our partner, but in addition to it.

Now if you came home and said "honey, I want to fuck you so badly right now", and he said "no thanks, I'd rather just masterbate", then maybe there is something wrong. But if it just makes him lust for you more when he DOES have you, all the better.

 

[ericred50]

Interesting thread, with some very good answers, change to see everyone taking an interest, instead of the usual "witty" comments, and mutual banter. Nothing more annoying than posting a reply, to find the next reply is something total different, and is two persons having a conversation that could be conducted by e-mail or in the chat room. We will have to start a campaign "Keep the thread theme, do not deviate".

On Masturbating, (I call it self gratifaction) it serves a need, when your lover is not available. I would never gratify myself while my lover slept, in fact if I felt the need I would start to wake her up my stimulating her breasts, touching caressing, her colit. She loves to be woken up this way, same as I love her to waken me up my touching my balls, licking and sucking my cock. It does result in great climaxes. It is a pity that my wife does not enjoy sex, it used to be good.

 

[Kasha]

wow

How exciting.... i had almost forgotten I even wrote this thread..LOL...but it really has agotten great response and I have really enjoyed everyones advice and comments. I am still frustrated with the whole thread thing... I am in only one now and I guess I will stay in just this one until the other one I am checking out starts up. It just sets a person off when you put all your creative juices into something and no one seems to notice..ya know... I have notice the threads where people are invited to play and there are set rules tend to last a bit longer. for all of te en tat have responded to the question in this thread about masturbating, i want to thank you you are giving me great mental pics and good info. Thanks for all the replies....let's hope the keep cumming...oops look at tat typo...I meant coming of course.

 

[Guest]

I masturbate because I need a little variety because, to be quite honest, even though I'm married, my real sex life doesn't, and has never, equaled my fantasy sex life. In addition, since getting circumcised in my late forties (for medical reasons), I haven't had the same drive. A penis head without a foreskin is like Linus without his blanket.

 

[Kasha]

poor Linus....

awwwwwwww...that's doesn't seem good. I have quite a vivid imagination...and so sometimes the things going on in my head are a lot better then what i come up with in real life, unless I am feeling completely uninhibited. I think that is why i like it here so much.. I can be descriptive and put out there exactly what I want and how I want it...well not that I have really done that yet.. but hey I am trying.. I always wondered about the whole circumcision thing... I mean if there is a real difference. I have never been with an un-circumcised man in RL.. so HotScribe your post gave me valuable info... Thanks.

 

[robbied]

Kasha, how bout a report!

Kasha,

Since you've been thinking about these different comments and opinions, I would love to know when you're ready to answer, how the situation has developed. A report, if you will.

robbie

 

[Kasha]

report

Well, let's see. Pretty much the same thing is going on with the thread. I am in one thread...it's the Buffy the Vampire Again thread and it seems to be going alright. There of course has been a bit of confusion because of different time zones and people not knowing which characters are in the thread but i think it may be coming around. I have decided to be selective in the threads I choose to be in that way I won't get so irritated when I put forth a lot of effort for no reason. I guess, I will stick with this one til I find another one to get in that looks like it will last and the people involved are really into it...I hope that makes sense. And the masturbation thing...well. Like I said in the other posts that I wrote, my husband and I have FANTASTIC sex, and masturbation has always been a part of it. I do love to see him touch himself and usually I have to take part because I just can't watch and do nothing...lol. It seems like men masturbate mostly out of habit.. and some out of sheer necessity.. It is still very intersting to me why men do what they do. Motivation is always interesting. I am tinking of starting m own thread...maybe about a cop that is kinda a dominant guy and a female (me). I think maybe if I a the one to start the thread and I find the right person for the other part then maybe I wil be satisfied in the thread area....I hope that gets ya up to date Robbied...thanks for replying to my post...*smile

 

[robbied]

Up to date indeed! Thankyou, it kind of starts us fresh again, he says clicking a pair of handcuffs against his leg.

robbie

 

[Kasha]

did i hear the sound of clinking handcuffs?

Would you be interested Robbie? I still have to think out a storyline and all. I am thinking it may just turn into like a police dept, that way others can have parts if they choose but I could still find someone I could one on one with...ya know... that seems like a good idea for me to be able to post quality material with one person that I know is into the story...ya know. Let me know...any ones else think that sounds like a good idea? I'll be watching for answers...

 

[robbied]

That's "Constable" to you

Kasha,

You can absolutely count me in. I'm just discovering the role-playing threads, and I would love to start fresh where I can begin the story and follow it through instead of jumping in. And your concept is great. I'll be there, just tell me when you're ready to be booked

robbied@literotica.org