Just wondering.........
- Thread starter matriarch
- Start date
destinie21
Daddy's Brat
- Joined
- May 27, 2003
- Posts
- 3,612
pagan switch said:I've got plenty more.
well out with them buddy
RavenSpirit2k4
Domina della Ombra
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2004
- Posts
- 2,456
Well damn.
Um... anyone got 200 I can borrow?
Um... anyone got 200 I can borrow?
cheerful_deviant
Head of the Flock
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2004
- Posts
- 10,487
Just wondering...
Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
Did Adam and Eve have bellybuttons?
RavenSpirit2k4
Domina della Ombra
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2004
- Posts
- 2,456
Why isn't phonetic spelled the way it sounds?
RavenSpirit2k4
Domina della Ombra
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2004
- Posts
- 2,456
How does the guy who drives the snowplow get to work in the mornings?
RavenSpirit2k4
Domina della Ombra
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2004
- Posts
- 2,456
Why is it that when you transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Lucifer_Carroll
GOATS!!!
- Joined
- May 4, 2004
- Posts
- 3,319
Ultimate just wondering
"Here's a question you can ask yourselves:
Say if you picked up the most attractive partner you could ever hope for and they look really familiar, but you're not sure why and you're in the middle of good hard bonkies (or hop-ons if you'd rather picture it that way) and you suddenly realise where you've seen them before - it's Richard Nixon with a face lift and a body drop, but you decide to continue anyway, because what the hell, good sex is good sex, and one missed is one missed, and besides, you've got the room for another 10 minutes, plus all the used K-Y you can drink, and then all your friends burst in on you yelling "Surprise!" and it isn't even your birthday or anything, and they're all taking snapshots with those cheap, disposable cameras with the built-in flashes (which make really good toys when you use the film up) saying things like "this is going to cost you" etc etc, and RichardN gets up and says that he isn't here and it's just fiction and he only came to meet you to buy one of those cheap inflatable mannikans with the 7 different orafaces, and the voice that says "it's my husband, hurry up" and "You're not really the best" and "is it in?", all personally bench -tested by you in your spare time, in between margaritas and 20 minute phone calls to 1-800-SHIT-IM-A-PERVERTED-BASTARD where you talk about how you like to have sex using liniment instead of K-Y which is better than dry (Which is only your THIRD favourite way)
So now you're stuffed, right, and your friends have all these lies about you (except for the phone calls and the "hot" sex stuff, which you reckon was a bloody good guess, and maybe you should get into inflatable partners and things) and they say they're going to phone your parents and your "steady" and spill all the beans over the kitchen sink and life won't ever be the same for you and it's probably over anyway because they're going to send your photos to the cafeteria at work stuck together with their "Special" glue, so that they work like a flip card action series, along with a little cassette tape of a pig grunting, and as an act of complete desperation you offer to go down on all of them once a week for a month, even Geralds cousin who looks a lot like his parents, who all have 6 fingers on each hand and whose family tree only forks about 5 times, each time into the animal kingdom, but they say they want more - they want something utterly demeaning, then you remind them about Gerald's cousin and his hobby of only washing once every decade, and that was nine years and 300 days ago and the first time will probably kill you anyway, but they say no, no, they want more, they want you on Oprah too, on Nationwide TV...
... and you wake up screaming, screaming, SCREAMING! and sweating like a pig and beside you is Richard Nixon and the door bursts open and all your friends come in and you realise that it was either a dream, this is a dream, you had a premonition and didn't act on it, and if you had you could've revived the career of the guy from "Ripley's Believe it or not" so that he doesn't have to do those tacky westerns where almost everyone leaves at interval, OR you're fucked if you know...
Anyway, the question, If Train A left the Station at 1pm and Train B left A's destination at the same time, travelling at the same speed, who would arrive first?
Jack Palance, that was his name!" -Simon Travaglia
"Here's a question you can ask yourselves:
Say if you picked up the most attractive partner you could ever hope for and they look really familiar, but you're not sure why and you're in the middle of good hard bonkies (or hop-ons if you'd rather picture it that way) and you suddenly realise where you've seen them before - it's Richard Nixon with a face lift and a body drop, but you decide to continue anyway, because what the hell, good sex is good sex, and one missed is one missed, and besides, you've got the room for another 10 minutes, plus all the used K-Y you can drink, and then all your friends burst in on you yelling "Surprise!" and it isn't even your birthday or anything, and they're all taking snapshots with those cheap, disposable cameras with the built-in flashes (which make really good toys when you use the film up) saying things like "this is going to cost you" etc etc, and RichardN gets up and says that he isn't here and it's just fiction and he only came to meet you to buy one of those cheap inflatable mannikans with the 7 different orafaces, and the voice that says "it's my husband, hurry up" and "You're not really the best" and "is it in?", all personally bench -tested by you in your spare time, in between margaritas and 20 minute phone calls to 1-800-SHIT-IM-A-PERVERTED-BASTARD where you talk about how you like to have sex using liniment instead of K-Y which is better than dry (Which is only your THIRD favourite way)
So now you're stuffed, right, and your friends have all these lies about you (except for the phone calls and the "hot" sex stuff, which you reckon was a bloody good guess, and maybe you should get into inflatable partners and things) and they say they're going to phone your parents and your "steady" and spill all the beans over the kitchen sink and life won't ever be the same for you and it's probably over anyway because they're going to send your photos to the cafeteria at work stuck together with their "Special" glue, so that they work like a flip card action series, along with a little cassette tape of a pig grunting, and as an act of complete desperation you offer to go down on all of them once a week for a month, even Geralds cousin who looks a lot like his parents, who all have 6 fingers on each hand and whose family tree only forks about 5 times, each time into the animal kingdom, but they say they want more - they want something utterly demeaning, then you remind them about Gerald's cousin and his hobby of only washing once every decade, and that was nine years and 300 days ago and the first time will probably kill you anyway, but they say no, no, they want more, they want you on Oprah too, on Nationwide TV...
... and you wake up screaming, screaming, SCREAMING! and sweating like a pig and beside you is Richard Nixon and the door bursts open and all your friends come in and you realise that it was either a dream, this is a dream, you had a premonition and didn't act on it, and if you had you could've revived the career of the guy from "Ripley's Believe it or not" so that he doesn't have to do those tacky westerns where almost everyone leaves at interval, OR you're fucked if you know...
Anyway, the question, If Train A left the Station at 1pm and Train B left A's destination at the same time, travelling at the same speed, who would arrive first?
Jack Palance, that was his name!" -Simon Travaglia
RavenSpirit2k4
Domina della Ombra
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2004
- Posts
- 2,456
Would a fly without wings be called a walk?
RavenSpirit2k4
Domina della Ombra
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2004
- Posts
- 2,456
Would a turtle without a shell be considered naked or homeless?
RavenSpirit2k4
Domina della Ombra
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2004
- Posts
- 2,456
Well, I had to blow the warden, but I made it out of jail. Still losing that 200 hurts.
Similar threads
