Just When You Thought Cumshooters Was The Worst....

[Madame Pandora]

Candles...

Egads!

Okay, now, I know Laurel doesn't get to choose which ones the sponsors want...but I'm just curious...

WHO IS TURNED ON BY THIS AD? Where is the guy/gal thinking "Oh, yeah, baby...I want to turn your snatch into a birthday cake!"

I think we have some pretty damn interesting and sexually diverse people here...so tell me...am I just missing something?

Cumshooters...as ICKY as it was...well, at least I UNDERSTOOD the point of it - that being that some guys get off on women who swallow (and swallow and swallow...) but LIT CANDLES in the cunnie and the bum? How big an audience can this possibly HOPE to appeal to?

Just curious

MP ;-)


[Edited by Madame Pandora on 03-10-2001 at 01:23 PM]

 

[TonyG]

Curious and interesting to me? Not in the least.

 

[Lost Soul]

The one good thing of all this is that when I feel strange about having a "thing" for women in tight sweaters or black nylons I see one of these ads and feel every so normal.

 

[Laurel]

Because of the server resources (money ) it would take for us to do it ourselves, some of the banners are served by a third party. Cumshooters, of course, is one of those.

I read a great suggestion on another bulletin board (slashdot.org?) in regards to banner advertising. The idea was that each banner would have a rating option below it where users could vote on a scale of 1-5 whether they loved or hated the banner. If enough people hated the banner, it would eventually stop being shown on the site. The logic, which seems reasonable to me, is that any banner which is unpopular with or annoying to a large percentage of surfers could be banished simply and quickly.

Unfortunately, I don't think that this type of system currently exists, but wouldn't it be great if it did?

 

[Madame Pandora]

Yes! What a great idea.

I'll tell you truthfully, it isn't so much the ad itself that bothers me...it's the mindset that thought it up.

I mean...okay...so these guys are sitting in the room.

PornoPusher A: "Damn it, we need a banner ad for fuckwit.com. Any ideas?"

PornoPusher B: "I've got it! A young Asian girl drinking a milky fluid from a long, tall glass!"

PornoPusher A: "No, damn it, Cumshooters had beat us to that one. Damn their eyes..."

PornoPusher C: "I've got it. We'll take a woman, spread her legs, shove a candle in her ass, another in her snatch, and LIGHT THEM UP."

PornoPusher A: "Hmmmm...do you think this will appeal to a large market?"

PornoPusher B: "Are you KIDDING? Do you know how many men have that SAME FANTASY?"

This is what scares me. There are two possibilities here. Either 1) they thought this WOULD appeal to a large number of people; or 2) they are just that fucking stupid.

PLUS...and I can't tell you HOW MUCH this kills me...

You know they had a fucking PHOTO SHOOT for it. They had negatives to ponder! They made women AUDITION for the the picture.

"Show us your pussy. Very nice, now...here...take this candle..."

Egad...different strokes for different folks okay good and well...but I can't believe that many guys would be turned on by this.

Larry Miller is RIGHT. If we women DID know what men were thinking, we would NEVER stop slapping them!

"You want to do WHAT with that candle?" *slap*

MP

 

[SirGalahad67]

Yes! What a great idea.

I'll tell you truthfully, it isn't so much the ad itself that bothers me...it's the mindset that thought it up.

I mean...okay...so these guys are sitting in the room.

PornoPusher A: "Damn it, we need a banner ad for fuckwit.com. Any ideas?"

PornoPusher B: "I've got it! A young Asian girl drinking a milky fluid from a long, tall glass!"

PornoPusher A: "No, damn it, Cumshooters had beat us to that one. Damn their eyes..."

PornoPusher C: "I've got it. We'll take a woman, spread her legs, shove a candle in her ass, another in her snatch, and LIGHT THEM UP."

PornoPusher A: "Hmmmm...do you think this will appeal to a large market?"

PornoPusher B: "Are you KIDDING? Do you know how many men have that SAME FANTASY?"

This is what scares me. There are two possibilities here. Either 1) they thought this WOULD appeal to a large number of people; or 2) they are just that fucking stupid.

PLUS...and I can't tell you HOW MUCH this kills me...

You know they had a fucking PHOTO SHOOT for it. They had negatives to ponder! They made women AUDITION for the the picture.

"Show us your pussy. Very nice, now...here...take this candle..."

Egad...different strokes for different folks okay good and well...but I can't believe that many guys would be turned on by this.

Larry Miller is RIGHT. If we women DID know what men were thinking, we would NEVER stop slapping them!

"You want to do WHAT with that candle?" *slap*

MP

Well, all I can say is that I've hung around lots of guys in a male dominated profession (former high school coach) for years, and I've heard (and maybe said) a lot of stuff that would have got me slapped if heard by the lovely feminine members of my circle. But I have NEVER heard even the most raunchy, wild guy ever say "Damn, look at that gorgeous babe, wouldn't you like to put birthday candles in there and light 'em up?"
I think your (b) proposition is the right one. They really are that stupid, or maybe they were like really tired from staying up all night shooting porno ads, and were trying to meet creative deadlines, and were late to a birthday party, and the amalgamation of all this just exploded in their little brains and - voila! ...

 

[CreamyLady]

I wonder how far one could push a birthday candle into a man's penis . . . think that would be considered erotic?

"Make a wish, and blow."

God, I'm savage tonight. I think I'd just better go out someplace and rip out a throat.

 

[SirGalahad67]

By the way Madame Pandora, you have, by far, the coolest icon on the entire board.

 

[Pyper]

Madame Pandora, I would just like to say that you are hilarious. Stop making me spew scone crumbs over my keyboard.

 

[Laurel]

You know they had a fucking PHOTO SHOOT for it. They had negatives to ponder! They made women AUDITION for the the picture.

...and somewhere, right now, a model has that very photo in her portfolio.

But I have NEVER heard even the most raunchy, wild guy ever say "Damn, look at that gorgeous babe, wouldn't you like to put birthday candles in there and light 'em up?"

Ah, then you haven't lived!

I wonder how far one could push a birthday candle into a man's penis . . . think that would be considered erotic?

I doubt we'll be seeing THAT banner anytime soon, lol.

 

[Pyper]

Remember that picture a few days ago with the cigarette up the man's penis? Who posted that? (Just thought it related to birthday candles and such.)

 

[SirGalahad67]

But I have NEVER heard even the most raunchy, wild guy ever say "Damn, look at that gorgeous babe, wouldn't you like to put birthday candles in there and light 'em up?"

Ah, then you haven't lived!


Umm, ok, I can be flexible, are you going to show me Laurel?

I wonder how far one could push a birthday candle into a man's penis . . . think that would be considered erotic?

I doubt we'll be seeing THAT banner anytime soon, lol.

I know that I won't be volunteering to pose for it. I'm not THAT flexible.lol

 

[BrainyBeauty]

Cue up a bit of Jose Feliciano...

A little mood music if you please

I think the message of this ad would be much more enticing if we could only hear the melodious strains of "Come on baby light my fire"

But maybe there is a different take on this. I have heard of a practice called candling- but that is usually done in the ears - to soften that waxy build-up. Maybe this ad isn't about sex after all. Maybe it is a public (or pubic) service announcement for good health!

You are just too fucking funny for your own good, woman!

 

[Ally C]

have your cake and eat it?

Candles...

Egads!

Okay, now, I know Laurel doesn't get to choose which ones the sponsors want...but I'm just curious...

WHO IS TURNED ON BY THIS AD? Where is the guy/gal thinking "Oh, yeah, baby...I want to turn your snatch into a birthday cake!"

I think we have some pretty damn interesting and sexually diverse people here...so tell me...am I just missing something?

Cumshooters...as ICKY as it was...well, at least I UNDERSTOOD the point of it - that being that some guys get off on women who swallow (and swallow and swallow...) but LIT CANDLES in the cunnie and the bum? How big an audience can this possibly HOPE to appeal to?

Just curious

MP ;-)


[Edited by Madame Pandora on 03-10-2001 at 01:23 PM]

What I want to know is how many candles are used - who's birthday is being celebrated? Are the candles blown out? If yes, is this like a new kind of blow job? As for the icing, I'm not gonna touch that one ...

LOL, If I knew you were cumming I'd have baked a cake!

 

[SweetCherry]

Not to repulse anyone or anything, but I have seen a pic on a site somewhere with a birthday candle shoved into a man's penis. And yes, it was lit. All I could think was "That's gotta hurt at least a little bit!"

 

[Gaucho]

"You want to do WHAT with that candle?" *slap*

MP

How about a good Cuban cigar?

 

[Cheri]

You all just leave those fine sponsors alone! I'll have you know that one of those wonderful organizations might be my future employer as I've send my resume as well as a few new marketing ideas their way.....waddya think about a woman with her legs spread obscenely in the air a Twinkie sticking out of her vagina, another woman taking a big old bite out of said Twinkie and a man adding his own creamy filling to the mix? Huh? I think I'm well on my way at become the porn producer I've always dreamed I could be.....
Show Me The Money, baby!