Just want to know what I'm doing wrong.

[FatherMuck]

My stories, in my opinion, are fairly good. Not perfect, but fairly good. They get an average rating of 4.06 over all. I just want to know what about them turns people off, or stops them reading them.

Any or no feedback is fine, this is pure curiosity (But hell, I want to know )

My home page is my submissions page.

Edit: I have a feeling that it's because my writing is too cold and analytical. . .

 

[DeeZire]

PM sent.

 

[Bleedyearsnixon]

I scratch your back you scratch mine? Mine are posted under my CP, ill give your stories a read for ya yo, and give you some critique if thats what you so desire

 

[JackLuis]

My stories, in my opinion, are fairly good. Not perfect, but fairly good. They get an average rating of 4.06 over all. I just want to know what about them turns people off, or stops them reading them.

Any or no feedback is fine, this is pure curiosity (But hell, I want to know )

My home page is my submissions page.

Edit: I have a feeling that it's because my writing is too cold and analytical. . .

If you are avg'ing 4.02 or so that is not bad. I didn't read your stories but I noticed that you have no favorites listed. Perhaps you should read a selection of stories and see what others are doing and find what you like and dislike about their stories ( Maybe the Lit-s Best or look in the catagorey you want to write and pick five or ten highly rated stories and read them.)

I put a note at the end of one of my Chapters and said to my readers if they didn't give me feed back I might just as well quit writing the series. I got like 90 votes and five comments from that and now my stories are doing better all around.

Face it being a author is a lonely business. You cast your deathless prose out and hope, just hope you get a good reception. If you get any feedback it is surprising. You've been here long enough to know this but I'll confirm it for you.

Then come up with an outragious idea for a really unusual story and write it. Don't worry about genra or what sells, tell a story your way. Then after you put your heart and soul into the writting and editing publish it, with a plead for feed back at the end. Grovel and whine if you like.

I doubt it will work though.

 

[FatherMuck]

Well, I tend to prefer writing published fiction - Henry Miller, de Sade, Anais Nin, et. al., which is probably why what I produce is so different from what is put up for production here. The thing is, I don't want to submit more of what is already here. I am trying to produce something slightly deeper than he fucked her, she fucked him, the same old shit. I find most of the stories here boring and repetitive. Perhaps this is the wrong audience. . .

 

[psyche_b_mused]

Then don't submit more of what's already here. Most of what I've read here isn't my thing either, and that's really not my writing style or writing purpose. Sure my characters have sex....but i think if i took those elements away I'd have a pretty good magical fantasy. The sex is toppings on the ice cream.

I've gotten some great feedback, and I love it and appreciate every post.....but in the end....I write what pleases me. Write what pleases you. I'll read it if you post it. So that makes one.

psyche b

 

[JackLuis]

Well, I tend to prefer writing published fiction - Henry Miller, de Sade, Anais Nin, et. al., which is probably why what I produce is so different from what is put up for production here. The thing is, I don't want to submit more of what is already here. I am trying to produce something slightly deeper than he fucked her, she fucked him, the same old shit. I find most of the stories here boring and repetitive. Perhaps this is the wrong audience. . .

Nothing wrong with that. Are you looking for insightful literary feedback or high scores? Try some different catagories? I hear Loving Wives is filled with feedback.

Try going to the Editors page and find an editor, if you want discussion about you style, wording,arc of the story type of thing. You've got what, 10 stories up? Write your unique exciting, main line story and have a couple of editors read/edit each chapter. You get some feedback in the editing process ( not much but some) and then pay attention tot he description when you post it.

I've found that my chapters that are described luridly get a few more readings than the chapters with a less lurid descriptions.

In the 31 Chapters I've posted of "Spreading Seeds" Ive gotten less than 12-15 comments and a 10/15-1 View to Vote ratio.

It is true that Lit is filled with "stroker" stories, most people here write thier fantacies and some can spell it .

 

[starrkers]

I haven't read any of your stuff yet, but I notice most of it's in the "tougher" categories - a score of 4 is pretty good going.
Readers of BDSM are fairly strict on what they will and will not accept in set ups; NonCon attracts a number of people who will vote 1 just on principle, regardless of the story and Anal is a weird zone - you either have to write total reality or total fantasy, anything in between is likely to get slugged by someone.
And comments are getting like rocking horse poop around here - a very rare commodity.

 

[driphoney]

My stories, in my opinion, are fairly good. Not perfect, but fairly good. They get an average rating of 4.06 over all. I just want to know what about them turns people off, or stops them reading them.

Any or no feedback is fine, this is pure curiosity (But hell, I want to know )

My home page is my submissions page.

Edit: I have a feeling that it's because my writing is too cold and analytical. . .

I'm by no means a pro at this writing stuff, just a newbie here myself trying to figure it out, but I have been a long time reader, so I read Beyond Good and Evil as a reader, not a writer, and my opinions here are what you pay for, not worth much!

I like the occasional non-con/reluct story and the title was catchy, so I opened that one. What struck me first was that my whole screen was full of non-story warning and write up. I've heard mention that readers generally don't like too much of that and will click back out of your story, but I don't know. It was a little disconcerting for me, that's for sure. And you're write up made me feel like you were trying to talk me out of reading it, not just a gentle warning this might not be my cup of tea.

Next, I liked your intro paragraph, and that kept me going and interested. However, I personally like dialogue, so if there is some dialogue very near the beginning and it's fairly decent, I can easily get sucked into the story. I had to dig a little to get to your dialogue, which I thought was very realistic except where he goes on a bit and with a very good vocabulary and he's supposed to be drunk! lol

Many of your paragraphs are very large, this made it hard for me to track and I found myself trying to skip along after a few lines. I have the same issue when writing, it's hard to read when it gets to 10 or more lines and multiple paragraphs of that really become a struggle. But, as a writer, I know it's hard to split those things up. That's usually where your editor comes in handy (my story has been trapped in Editor Purgatory for years -- ok, I joke, but it's feeling that way!)

Those are just little things and easily fixed.

I actually attempted to read it twice to see just what it was that wasn't working for me. First was the obvious for me, it was her being basically beat and raped, even though you tried to let me know she was enjoying it, since I wasn't, I had trouble understanding how she was, and I have been able, in the past, to be weirdly drawn in and turned on reading what I am sure I would hate in reality (Dr. Mabeuse does this amazingly well.) Also, vomit is just a complete turn off for me, personally.

The other thing that finally sunk in was that I couldn't connect with either character. Chris I positively dislike, and the girl ... I don't know, I can't figure it out. I think when I like the dom it's because there is something inside him (never read the femdom, not my thing) that shows he actually cares for his sub, that he's not just using (and abusing!) her. It must be a very hard genre to write and I'll never give it a go!

There. Just one reader's opinion, and as I said, take it lightly. Nothing personal here and I think you show talent. (I even gave you a good 5 star rating )