Vilac
...a curious sort
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2002
- Posts
- 8,929
The shit I get myself into, I swear.
There is a long drawn out story about why I feel the way I feel....but I'll just spew this out and hopefully I'll feel slightly better.
My brother and I have never been "close". In fact, quite the opposite. He has had several "issues" with his life....hearing loss, mental problems, car accidents, comas....etc which has left him at less than 100% "normal" (for lack of a better word)
He and I have fought more times than I care to think about, primarily over silly things....and in many cases, fabricated things...in which he will fly off the handle and deem me the root of all of his problems in life. And...in many cases, get so irrate that he will threaten my life.
Now...that being said....he is still my brother. I handle as much as I possibly can without disowning him and locking him out of all aspects of my life. But, having to deal with his suicide attempts, psych-ward lockups and other issues mean that simply "forgetting" about him or his problems is practically an impossible task.
He's been married once...and consequently divorced. 6 months ago, he became engaged once again. And...much to my delight, he asked a different family member to be the best man in his second wedding. I was to say the least very relieved, as I truly didn't want to play that role and act as though I felt this was the best of ideas for him at this stage in his life.
Since then, the person he asked has fallen ill and will not be able to participate in the wedding 6 weeks from now.
I just received a phonecall from him 30 minutes ago asking me if I would be the best man.
As badly as I didn't want to....I told him yes, only to maintain the peace in the family and to not cause a huge riff with the entire family over what is already a stressful time, between my brother marrying again...and my relative in ill health. But...I feel rather hyprocritical, since I will be acting against my every belief and basically "selling out" on my morals.
So...I feel like an ass. First ....for accepting this task, secondly...for feeling this way about my own brother.
If you managed to make it this far....thanks for the time. I hate "duty calls"....and this is what this is. A "have to". It has to be done...I just wish it didn't have to be me doing it.
Anyhow....I should quit whining and suck it up, hmm?
V~
There is a long drawn out story about why I feel the way I feel....but I'll just spew this out and hopefully I'll feel slightly better.
My brother and I have never been "close". In fact, quite the opposite. He has had several "issues" with his life....hearing loss, mental problems, car accidents, comas....etc which has left him at less than 100% "normal" (for lack of a better word)
He and I have fought more times than I care to think about, primarily over silly things....and in many cases, fabricated things...in which he will fly off the handle and deem me the root of all of his problems in life. And...in many cases, get so irrate that he will threaten my life.
Now...that being said....he is still my brother. I handle as much as I possibly can without disowning him and locking him out of all aspects of my life. But, having to deal with his suicide attempts, psych-ward lockups and other issues mean that simply "forgetting" about him or his problems is practically an impossible task.
He's been married once...and consequently divorced. 6 months ago, he became engaged once again. And...much to my delight, he asked a different family member to be the best man in his second wedding. I was to say the least very relieved, as I truly didn't want to play that role and act as though I felt this was the best of ideas for him at this stage in his life.
Since then, the person he asked has fallen ill and will not be able to participate in the wedding 6 weeks from now.
I just received a phonecall from him 30 minutes ago asking me if I would be the best man.
As badly as I didn't want to....I told him yes, only to maintain the peace in the family and to not cause a huge riff with the entire family over what is already a stressful time, between my brother marrying again...and my relative in ill health. But...I feel rather hyprocritical, since I will be acting against my every belief and basically "selling out" on my morals.
So...I feel like an ass. First ....for accepting this task, secondly...for feeling this way about my own brother.
If you managed to make it this far....thanks for the time. I hate "duty calls"....and this is what this is. A "have to". It has to be done...I just wish it didn't have to be me doing it.
Anyhow....I should quit whining and suck it up, hmm?
V~
