Just starting out..

[Bilquis_xo]

I would like to first start off with saying that I am NEW NEW to the community! I do not have any experience and I've never had a partner. I am still trying to learn as much as I can. I don’t believe that I have any kinks or fetishes.. I haven't explored anything…

I can’t remember when I knew that I was interested in BDSM. I just know that I found sex with my ex to be very boring and unfulfilling. I was always left wanting more and I just didn't enjoy it at all. I felt like there was something missing and it was something missing.. I was being totally neglected and I didn't like it. I started trying to find ways to make it interesting and pleasing and I found that I was interested in BDSM and wanted to try the dom/sub dynamic. It never came into fruition and my ex and I divorced two years ago.

I know that I would want to be a submissive because I am dominant already. I can be a little bit aggressive and in my everyday life I am the dominant one. I have kids and I have them full time and I have to take care of everything.. I’m not sure how I would adapt to being fully dominated by a man outside of the bedroom because I really don't like being told what to do and what I can wear and all that. My ex was controlling and not in a sexy, consensual or sensual way and I just don’t want to get mixed up in any of that! I prefer to be dominated in the bedroom. I just want to be the center of attention.. make sure my needs are taken care of. I've never been in a dynamic like that before. I do know that in the bedroom.. I just want to be able to let go…. To fully be able to trust my partner and give myself completely to him.

With that being said, I posted an ad on Reddit describing what I am looking for and have been talking to a few different doms. I have been communicating with them and asking questions and just trying to get to know them to see who I would be comfortable with actually meeting IRL. I wonder, if I am going about this the right way? I am trying to take things slow and steady, however, I'm not sure if I should just focus on one or continue to keep my options open. Sorry for the long post!

 

[Boat1]

Great introduction!
I hope you find the same level of happiness and pure satisfaction, in your journey, as my Domme and I have from diving into the deep end!

 

[DaringFunGuy]

As a fellow newbie just want to say awesome post, pleasure to meet you and talk soon I hope!

 

[9to5]

you seem to have a good start. I hope you find someone that you enjoy and can learn more as you go

 

[Curious_2]

I would like to first start off with saying that I am NEW NEW to the community! I do not have any experience and I've never had a partner. I am still trying to learn as much as I can. I don’t believe that I have any kinks or fetishes.. I haven't explored anything…

I can’t remember when I knew that I was interested in BDSM. I just know that I found sex with my ex to be very boring and unfulfilling. I was always left wanting more and I just didn't enjoy it at all. I felt like there was something missing and it was something missing.. I was being totally neglected and I didn't like it. I started trying to find ways to make it interesting and pleasing and I found that I was interested in BDSM and wanted to try the dom/sub dynamic. It never came into fruition and my ex and I divorced two years ago.

I know that I would want to be a submissive because I am dominant already. I can be a little bit aggressive and in my everyday life I am the dominant one. I have kids and I have them full time and I have to take care of everything.. I’m not sure how I would adapt to being fully dominated by a man outside of the bedroom because I really don't like being told what to do and what I can wear and all that. My ex was controlling and not in a sexy, consensual or sensual way and I just don’t want to get mixed up in any of that! I prefer to be dominated in the bedroom. I just want to be the center of attention.. make sure my needs are taken care of. I've never been in a dynamic like that before. I do know that in the bedroom.. I just want to be able to let go…. To fully be able to trust my partner and give myself completely to him.

With that being said, I posted an ad on Reddit describing what I am looking for and have been talking to a few different doms. I have been communicating with them and asking questions and just trying to get to know them to see who I would be comfortable with actually meeting IRL. I wonder, if I am going about this the right way? I am trying to take things slow and steady, however, I'm not sure if I should just focus on one or continue to keep my options open. Sorry for the long post!

Your mailbox had to totally explode! Did it not? BOOOMMMMM

 

[Bilquis_xo]

Your mailbox had to totally explode! Did it not? BOOOMMMMM

more on Reddit than here..

 

[9to5]

looks like one of mine

 

[ToPleaseHim]

[Content removed]

You joined yesterday and you’re “welcoming” people to Lit?

 

[magic_rat]

I don’t believe that I have any kinks or fetishes.. I haven't explored anything…

Yes you have. You haven't explored them yet is all.

I I posted an ad on Reddit describing what I am looking for

and you got messaged by wannabes.

If you want to explore, join Fetlife. Look for events in your area like munches (munches are gatherings in bars etc where you can meet and greet and mingle with real people) or dungeon events. For the latter, find one with a resident dungeonmaster. Contact him beforehand if you're a newbie and he'll be able to give you a gentle intro into the scene and probably introduce you to trusted doms who may be there.

Just don't fuck about on Reddit.

 

[pollock0]

Welcome to the club. Seems like you are doing the right things. Just be careful online, you really never know. I hope you’ll find what you are looking for and learn more about your likes/dislikes.

 

[Dirtyoldbob]

Interesting post, I hope you find what you are looking for.
I have had an interest in BDSM for many years but never having the courage to actually delve into it. I am not submissive in my normal working life, quite the opposite actually, but I have my first session booked with a professional dominatrix next week.
I am both dreading and looking forward to it at the same time.

 

[PoetM]

I would like to first start off with saying that I am NEW NEW to the community! I do not have any experience and I've never had a partner. I am still trying to learn as much as I can. I don’t believe that I have any kinks or fetishes.. I haven't explored anything…

I can’t remember when I knew that I was interested in BDSM. I just know that I found sex with my ex to be very boring and unfulfilling. I was always left wanting more and I just didn't enjoy it at all. I felt like there was something missing and it was something missing.. I was being totally neglected and I didn't like it. I started trying to find ways to make it interesting and pleasing and I found that I was interested in BDSM and wanted to try the dom/sub dynamic. It never came into fruition and my ex and I divorced two years ago.

I know that I would want to be a submissive because I am dominant already. I can be a little bit aggressive and in my everyday life I am the dominant one. I have kids and I have them full time and I have to take care of everything.. I’m not sure how I would adapt to being fully dominated by a man outside of the bedroom because I really don't like being told what to do and what I can wear and all that. My ex was controlling and not in a sexy, consensual or sensual way and I just don’t want to get mixed up in any of that! I prefer to be dominated in the bedroom. I just want to be the center of attention.. make sure my needs are taken care of. I've never been in a dynamic like that before. I do know that in the bedroom.. I just want to be able to let go…. To fully be able to trust my partner and give myself completely to him.

With that being said, I posted an ad on Reddit describing what I am looking for and have been talking to a few different doms. I have been communicating with them and asking questions and just trying to get to know them to see who I would be comfortable with actually meeting IRL. I wonder, if I am going about this the right way? I am trying to take things slow and steady, however, I'm not sure if I should just focus on one or continue to keep my options open. Sorry for the long post!

I'm an Dom who has spent a lot of years thinking through the dynamics of D/s. I've established a lot of my own philosophy on D/s and kink. Sounds like you are on a good path. I wouldn't stress too much. None of us fit in a nice neat kink box, at least not for long. You will hopefully find experiences that test your edges and you'll likely expand on those. Every Dom and every sub are unique as is their relationship. You as a sub always have a right to choose who you give your submissive respect too (which varies of course from normal respect). You are making that choice which should make it easier to let that Dom take control in the bedroom. Good luck.

 

[Curious_2]

You're still looking for. A Dom ,sweetheart?

 

[Thecuriousbrit]

I would like to first start off with saying that I am NEW NEW to the community! I do not have any experience and I've never had a partner. I am still trying to learn as much as I can. I don’t believe that I have any kinks or fetishes.. I haven't explored anything…

I can’t remember when I knew that I was interested in BDSM. I just know that I found sex with my ex to be very boring and unfulfilling. I was always left wanting more and I just didn't enjoy it at all. I felt like there was something missing and it was something missing.. I was being totally neglected and I didn't like it. I started trying to find ways to make it interesting and pleasing and I found that I was interested in BDSM and wanted to try the dom/sub dynamic. It never came into fruition and my ex and I divorced two years ago.

I know that I would want to be a submissive because I am dominant already. I can be a little bit aggressive and in my everyday life I am the dominant one. I have kids and I have them full time and I have to take care of everything.. I’m not sure how I would adapt to being fully dominated by a man outside of the bedroom because I really don't like being told what to do and what I can wear and all that. My ex was controlling and not in a sexy, consensual or sensual way and I just don’t want to get mixed up in any of that! I prefer to be dominated in the bedroom. I just want to be the center of attention.. make sure my needs are taken care of. I've never been in a dynamic like that before. I do know that in the bedroom.. I just want to be able to let go…. To fully be able to trust my partner and give myself completely to him.

With that being said, I posted an ad on Reddit describing what I am looking for and have been talking to a few different doms. I have been communicating with them and asking questions and just trying to get to know them to see who I would be comfortable with actually meeting IRL. I wonder, if I am going about this the right way? I am trying to take things slow and steady, however, I'm not sure if I should just focus on one or continue to keep my options open. Sorry for the long post!

It's great that you know what you are looking for. I would always recommend you find the right person as that is most important.

I have been lucky and found an amazing person in the community here and we are actually meeting for the first time in the flesh this week.

 

[SomeBliss]

From one newbie to another--be careful. There are some people around here who are incredibly sadistic and will see you as fresh meat...and you might get hurt. Take your time with anyone you meet. No one can dominate you without your permission--remember that. Say it to yourself.

 

[Sol41]

Im in the same boat, never been into anything that hard signifies BDSM.
Im extremely averse to pain and never gave that whole side of the kink tree a thought.

However! Yesterday my hubs was smacking the HELL out of my ass. Not unusual, he often does but he knows to be gentle usually. It was an extra hot fuck session and he was, essentially, possessed by the power of my ass.
He starts WAILING on me. Its not bad at first but he keeps doing it and its quickly approaching my limit. (For clarity all Id need have done is say stop abd he would have, full consent)

And I start crying. And its mixing with my pleasure and....idk something wonderful happened. It somehow heightened everything, physically and mentally. And then I was screaming for him to smack my booty till it was red. It burned so much and I cried more but holy shit it was an immense pleasure boost all the same.

Is this the begining of our BDSM journey?

 

[SomeBliss]

I would like to first start off with saying that I am NEW NEW to the community! I do not have any experience and I've never had a partner. I am still trying to learn as much as I can. I don’t believe that I have any kinks or fetishes.. I haven't explored anything…

I can’t remember when I knew that I was interested in BDSM. I just know that I found sex with my ex to be very boring and unfulfilling. I was always left wanting more and I just didn't enjoy it at all. I felt like there was something missing and it was something missing.. I was being totally neglected and I didn't like it. I started trying to find ways to make it interesting and pleasing and I found that I was interested in BDSM and wanted to try the dom/sub dynamic. It never came into fruition and my ex and I divorced two years ago.

I know that I would want to be a submissive because I am dominant already. I can be a little bit aggressive and in my everyday life I am the dominant one. I have kids and I have them full time and I have to take care of everything.. I’m not sure how I would adapt to being fully dominated by a man outside of the bedroom because I really don't like being told what to do and what I can wear and all that. My ex was controlling and not in a sexy, consensual or sensual way and I just don’t want to get mixed up in any of that! I prefer to be dominated in the bedroom. I just want to be the center of attention.. make sure my needs are taken care of. I've never been in a dynamic like that before. I do know that in the bedroom.. I just want to be able to let go…. To fully be able to trust my partner and give myself completely to him.

With that being said, I posted an ad on Reddit describing what I am looking for and have been talking to a few different doms. I have been communicating with them and asking questions and just trying to get to know them to see who I would be comfortable with actually meeting IRL. I wonder, if I am going about this the right way? I am trying to take things slow and steady, however, I'm not sure if I should just focus on one or continue to keep my options open. Sorry for the long post!

Be careful...

• Fake Doms try to dominate you right away
• Fake Doms don’t ask for consent
• Fake Doms make you do outrageous things
• Fake Doms make it all about them
• Fake Doms don’t give aftercare
• Fake Doms get angry if you don’t obey them
• Fake Doms don’t want feedback

 

[Slvr4Younger]

Be careful...

• Fake Doms try to dominate you right away
• Fake Doms don’t ask for consent
• Fake Doms make you do outrageous things
• Fake Doms make it all about them
• Fake Doms don’t give aftercare
• Fake Doms get angry if you don’t obey them
• Fake Doms don’t want feedback

Yes, be careful & remember:
True doms enjoy the seduction, the coaxing out of your pleasures as a sub.
True doms derive their pleasure from the response you GIVE to being controlled & the thrill you experience.
True doms know YOU have all the real power.
I hope you find someone to treat you as you deserve to be!

 

[Havanawang]

I would like to first start off with saying that I am NEW NEW to the community! I do not have any experience and I've never had a partner. I am still trying to learn as much as I can. I don’t believe that I have any kinks or fetishes.. I haven't explored anything…

I can’t remember when I knew that I was interested in BDSM. I just know that I found sex with my ex to be very boring and unfulfilling. I was always left wanting more and I just didn't enjoy it at all. I felt like there was something missing and it was something missing.. I was being totally neglected and I didn't like it. I started trying to find ways to make it interesting and pleasing and I found that I was interested in BDSM and wanted to try the dom/sub dynamic. It never came into fruition and my ex and I divorced two years ago.

I know that I would want to be a submissive because I am dominant already. I can be a little bit aggressive and in my everyday life I am the dominant one. I have kids and I have them full time and I have to take care of everything.. I’m not sure how I would adapt to being fully dominated by a man outside of the bedroom because I really don't like being told what to do and what I can wear and all that. My ex was controlling and not in a sexy, consensual or sensual way and I just don’t want to get mixed up in any of that! I prefer to be dominated in the bedroom. I just want to be the center of attention.. make sure my needs are taken care of. I've never been in a dynamic like that before. I do know that in the bedroom.. I just want to be able to let go…. To fully be able to trust my partner and give myself completely to him.

With that being said, I posted an ad on Reddit describing what I am looking for and have been talking to a few different doms. I have been communicating with them and asking questions and just trying to get to know them to see who I would be comfortable with actually meeting IRL. I wonder, if I am going about this the right way? I am trying to take things slow and steady, however, I'm not sure if I should just focus on one or continue to keep my options open. Sorry for the long post!

So much good luck for you I am a older partly brain dead sexually submissive man I was cocksucker slave for about ten years for Master Jim but he move to Florida and I haven't enjoyed the freedom one experiences through submission and service. In my case I did chores dish washing house cleaning raking leaves shovel snow etc in return I was allow to be whipped and suck his cock whenever he wanted which was often daily I go on too much cause I miss that relationship so much absolute best for you in your search