Just So You Know

[Stella_Omega]

Thank you, Carson, Lou, EL, AchtungNight, TxRad, and Logo. Your support is deeply appreciated more than you know.

Logo -- Thankfully, my last OB appointment fell on the day before my brother's funeral, so I was able to explain what was going on and the nurse assured me that grief would not harm my baby. And, I got to hear the heartbeat, which was extra assurance and music to a mother-to-be's ears.

I understand what you're saying about my feelings and moods passing through to the baby, I just don't really know what to do about that. I have some zen moments during the day, but I also have my freaking out, crying fits and my times of anger-ridden tirades. Before my brother died, I was always concious about how important it was for me to maintain a positive mood and to adopt as little stress as possible, but now, that seems inevitable, no matter how I might try. Thank you for the tips (talking to the baby, etc.). I really appreciate it.

Don't add guilt about the baby to your problems, my love. There is nothing you can do about it, and really, it's okay...
Babies have developed through all sorts of in-utero traumas, and done well as human people regardless.

 

[lucky-E-leven]

Life is odd, throwing devastating loss at you right along with the gift of life. I'm sure you're hurting, but from where I'm sitting, you sound very strong; determined to handle what's been thrown at you and motivated to make positive things come from it. If there's anything I might be able to help with, please don't hesitate to ask. Other than that, please keep us posted on the growth and development of the Ankle Biter.

~lucky

 

[OhMissScarlett]

*big hugs* for you and the papoose.

 

[SeaCat]

Apple,

There is nothing I can add to what has already been said but that you have my wife's and my support. P.M. me if you care to.

Cat

 

[Roxanne Appleby]

You weren't asking for it, but you get my sympathy anyway. In the past few days I've discovered that there is a dark side to this place, but it is more than balanced by so many amazingly, wonderfully wonderful individuals. I'll bet you could tell a similar story. I am truly sorry for your loss. Even though we have not interacted before, you have my my sincere condolences.
Roxanne

 

[Rumple Foreskin]

Apple,

I may be totally off-base here. If so, please forgive me. Being an only child, it's hard for me to even imagine the grief you must be enduring. A brother and sister share emotional, physical, and genetic characteristics. That means the child you're carrying is a part of you, and also your brother.

The grief you now feel is an expression of love lost. If a mother's emotions do effect their unborn, then your brother--your child, will benefit from that love.

Rumple

 

[minsue]

 

[Liar]

not really a paradox... I agree with finding time for yourself everyday just to connect with the baby, breathe deep and send some positive energy to your womb... but grief isn't a "bad" emotion, either... as long as you let it flow... I think bottling it up would be far worse...

what is, is... just feel it...

Yep. Forgive my amateur psychology, but grief is not something that I think one should ever hold back, especially not when there's a child on the way. It's not something you want to have bottled up while having an infant to take care of. But really, I have no experience of my own to relate to that comes even close, so it's up to you to find what works..

So, all I can really say is, condolances for the loss, and congratulations for the addition, and I raise my glass in wishing you best of fortune dealing with both. I wish that I could say "if there's anything I can do", but other than letting you know that I'm rooting for you, there is not much.

 

[Antfarmer77]

 

[AppleBiter]

(((Big hugs))) to each and every one of you. I don't have the time to address you personally, as I'm running out the door, but I wanted to say thank you, just the same. Your support, your kind words, hugs, love, and roses mean the world.