Hey, all - it's me again, J(ay)Travels. Just call me David.
I think I have a problem, folks - I just sent the following email to a 40-something couple that I've been talking to over Craigslist for the last two weeks or so. They seem to desperately want a bi, submissive male...
Only one problem - I'm neither bi nor submissive.
Following is the complete text of the email.
Allow me to remind you all, I'm drunk - my breath alcohol meter (thank you, Brookstone!) registers me at a potentially hammered 0.18% BAC. According to my laptop's TrueCrypt volume, this is a new personal record, beating my previous reading taken on Halloween Night; on the 31st October before I passed out, this same alcohol tester pegged me at 0.12 BAC.
Suffice it to say, I'm over double the legal limit allowed to drive, I don't condone this crap, I didn't mean it, etc. etc. etc.
Without further ado, this is the unabridged message I sent to the "couple" I met on Craigslist:
My ads are over.
I am 22 years old.
I can take five inches diameter in my ass and feel nothing but pleasure.
I can lick her pussy for an absolutely unlimited time.
She will SCREAM.
I can suck him until he cums, and ensure that he, master or not, is my ABSOLUTE BITCH for the ENTIRE TIME I PLAY WITH HIM.
I CAN FUCK BOTH HIM AND HER FOR LITERALLY HALF A DAY, RUIN YOU BOTH, MAKE YOU BLEED WITHOUT CLOTTING; AND EVEN AS YOU WHINE AND BEG FOR MY MERCY, I WILL CONTINUE TO DESTROY YOUR MORTAL FLESH BECAUSE I AM ALPHA AND OMEGA.
I PROMISE YOU THIS. IF YOU EVER GIVE ME ANY INDICATION TO THE LOCATION OF YOUR HOME (I ALREADY KNOW YOU HAVE WHITE CARPET AND OFF WHITE FURNITURE, THAT MAKES YOU ONE OF FORTY HOMES IN A 10 SQUARE MILE AREA SURROUNDING DAYONA), IF YOU EVER SEND ME ANOTHER PHOTOGRAPH OR SCREEN NAME TO NARROW MY SEARCH TO ALL 44-46 YEAR OLD WOMEN IN THE DAYTONA AREA, I WILL ARRIVE AT THE FRONT DOOR OF YOUR FORMER CASTLE WITH MY PERSONAL PAIR OF HANDCUFFS AND MY CANISTER OF HALOTHANE GAS.
YOU WILL KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE DOMINATED. YOU WILL KNOW INTIMATELY THE FEELING OF BEING USED COMPLETELY, UNABLE TO RESIST.
YOU WILL FEEL THE TOTAL SUBMISSION AS I INTRODUCE YOU BOTH TO THE GREY SHAPELESSNESS OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS. REVIVING YOU ONLY EVERY SEVEN MINUTES TO ENSURE YOUR PITIFUL BRAINS DO NOT SUCCUMB TO CELLULAR DEATH BEFORE I AM FINISHED.
YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED THE ULTIMATE. I AM THE ONLY SEXUAL MASTER, I AM THE ONLY SADOMACHISTIC MISTRESS. MY INTERNET PATHWAYS ARE ENCRYPTED. MY IDENTITIES ARE STOLEN. MY MORTAL SOUL IS NONEXISTENT, LONG AGO SUCCUMBED TO DEATH THROUGH SIMPLE ATROPHY. NO COURTROOM CAN SUBPOENA ME AND NO LIVING HUMAN CAN LOCATE ME. I AM OLDER THAN TIME ITSELF. I AM STRONGER THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE.I AM ANON. I AM LEGION. WE ARE MANY.
MY ACCOUNTS ARE FALSIFIED AND MY PATHWAYS ARE NUMEROUS. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SUBMIT TO MY WHIM, BOTH OF YOU.
I PROMISE I WILL FIND YOU BOTH, AND YOU WILL SUBMIT TO THE ULTIMATE PAIN. ONLY YOUR COOPERATION WILL SPARE YOU FROM DEATH.
YOU HAVE 48 HOURS. I SUGGEST YOU BOTH LUBE UP BEFORE YOU HEAR THE KNOCK.
With that insane, unstable posting, I'm either:
1) The ULTIMATE dom that I've ever run across, or;
2) Drunk and sleep deprived. I haven't slept in over 39 hours.
Preferring to believe I'm the absolute most badass, ruthless dominant male that has ever walked the planet Earth, I now leave you all to your contemplation as I drift gently into the maelstrom of turbulent nightmares that inevitably waits to cradle my troubled genius mind as it shuts down for sleep.
(Either that, or I'm so full of shit Al-Qaeda could detonate me with a business card and some plastic wrap.)
-David
I think I have a problem, folks - I just sent the following email to a 40-something couple that I've been talking to over Craigslist for the last two weeks or so. They seem to desperately want a bi, submissive male...
Only one problem - I'm neither bi nor submissive.
Following is the complete text of the email.
Allow me to remind you all, I'm drunk - my breath alcohol meter (thank you, Brookstone!) registers me at a potentially hammered 0.18% BAC. According to my laptop's TrueCrypt volume, this is a new personal record, beating my previous reading taken on Halloween Night; on the 31st October before I passed out, this same alcohol tester pegged me at 0.12 BAC.
Suffice it to say, I'm over double the legal limit allowed to drive, I don't condone this crap, I didn't mean it, etc. etc. etc.
Without further ado, this is the unabridged message I sent to the "couple" I met on Craigslist:
My ads are over.
I am 22 years old.
I can take five inches diameter in my ass and feel nothing but pleasure.
I can lick her pussy for an absolutely unlimited time.
She will SCREAM.
I can suck him until he cums, and ensure that he, master or not, is my ABSOLUTE BITCH for the ENTIRE TIME I PLAY WITH HIM.
I CAN FUCK BOTH HIM AND HER FOR LITERALLY HALF A DAY, RUIN YOU BOTH, MAKE YOU BLEED WITHOUT CLOTTING; AND EVEN AS YOU WHINE AND BEG FOR MY MERCY, I WILL CONTINUE TO DESTROY YOUR MORTAL FLESH BECAUSE I AM ALPHA AND OMEGA.
I PROMISE YOU THIS. IF YOU EVER GIVE ME ANY INDICATION TO THE LOCATION OF YOUR HOME (I ALREADY KNOW YOU HAVE WHITE CARPET AND OFF WHITE FURNITURE, THAT MAKES YOU ONE OF FORTY HOMES IN A 10 SQUARE MILE AREA SURROUNDING DAYONA), IF YOU EVER SEND ME ANOTHER PHOTOGRAPH OR SCREEN NAME TO NARROW MY SEARCH TO ALL 44-46 YEAR OLD WOMEN IN THE DAYTONA AREA, I WILL ARRIVE AT THE FRONT DOOR OF YOUR FORMER CASTLE WITH MY PERSONAL PAIR OF HANDCUFFS AND MY CANISTER OF HALOTHANE GAS.
YOU WILL KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO BE DOMINATED. YOU WILL KNOW INTIMATELY THE FEELING OF BEING USED COMPLETELY, UNABLE TO RESIST.
YOU WILL FEEL THE TOTAL SUBMISSION AS I INTRODUCE YOU BOTH TO THE GREY SHAPELESSNESS OF UNCONSCIOUSNESS. REVIVING YOU ONLY EVERY SEVEN MINUTES TO ENSURE YOUR PITIFUL BRAINS DO NOT SUCCUMB TO CELLULAR DEATH BEFORE I AM FINISHED.
YOU HAVE ENCOUNTERED THE ULTIMATE. I AM THE ONLY SEXUAL MASTER, I AM THE ONLY SADOMACHISTIC MISTRESS. MY INTERNET PATHWAYS ARE ENCRYPTED. MY IDENTITIES ARE STOLEN. MY MORTAL SOUL IS NONEXISTENT, LONG AGO SUCCUMBED TO DEATH THROUGH SIMPLE ATROPHY. NO COURTROOM CAN SUBPOENA ME AND NO LIVING HUMAN CAN LOCATE ME. I AM OLDER THAN TIME ITSELF. I AM STRONGER THAN YOU CAN EVER IMAGINE.I AM ANON. I AM LEGION. WE ARE MANY.
MY ACCOUNTS ARE FALSIFIED AND MY PATHWAYS ARE NUMEROUS. YOU HAVE NO CHOICE BUT TO SUBMIT TO MY WHIM, BOTH OF YOU.
I PROMISE I WILL FIND YOU BOTH, AND YOU WILL SUBMIT TO THE ULTIMATE PAIN. ONLY YOUR COOPERATION WILL SPARE YOU FROM DEATH.
YOU HAVE 48 HOURS. I SUGGEST YOU BOTH LUBE UP BEFORE YOU HEAR THE KNOCK.
With that insane, unstable posting, I'm either:
1) The ULTIMATE dom that I've ever run across, or;
2) Drunk and sleep deprived. I haven't slept in over 39 hours.
Preferring to believe I'm the absolute most badass, ruthless dominant male that has ever walked the planet Earth, I now leave you all to your contemplation as I drift gently into the maelstrom of turbulent nightmares that inevitably waits to cradle my troubled genius mind as it shuts down for sleep.
(Either that, or I'm so full of shit Al-Qaeda could detonate me with a business card and some plastic wrap.)
-David
