Just saying hello

[skittles_lm]

I guess I'm gonna have to 'lose' it somewhere else.

toss it over here!


*whispers* there are a few cookies left, right?

Welcome here, vs nice to have you among us.

 

[secretvictoria]

Thanks for all your posts guys. Looks like I missed out on the cookies though *sigh*

Maybe Betticious would give me a spanking to make up for it? *bats lashes*

In answer to your Q DVS, my bookings are taken by an old family friend who I'll call T. He used to be a pro boxer and is now studying martial arts. I only see people by appointment and the first meeting is always just to chat about the client's needs and expectations.

I was uncertain about pro-submission for quite a while because it does make you very vulnerable. If I am working at home (I have a spare room devoted to play so my own bedroom remains an unsullied space) T will be in my lounge in case anything untoward happens. I do not allow clients to gag me and they mustn't leave any marks on me but we work up to bondage and other forms of play over a few sessions. The dominant clients I see are more turned on by control than by all out sadism.

My established sub clients I need no security for but I always have T around for new clients and doms. My flat is laid out in such a way that I can show the client into the playroom without walking him through the lounge so sometimes I can allow him to assume T is in there even if he's not. I often do this prior to making the decision that I can see this guy safely alone.

If I'm working elsewhere T will drive me and either accmpany me inside the building or wait in the car for me. In 2 years of pro-domme work and just under a year of pro-sub I have never had the slightest problem with a client. I advertise in affluent areas of London and can afford to be quite selective. I also have uni and other demands on my time so I can often go a month or more without meeting a poential new client because my time is booked out by more established ones. I only ever take on new clients as I need to. This also ensures that I disappoint enough guys to appear highly in demand at all times.

Well that was a bit of a ramble.

Marquis, I have a novella in the making for a UK publishers called 'black lace' and after reading some of the short stories here I do plan on posting some of my stuff. Need to get around to editing it first though. Think as a mod you must be entitled to first peek or something, am I right?

 

[trisquel_astur]

Welcome to the more kinky cafe of the world, Victoria!

Here you will find lots of different people, but we all are kinky people!

 

[catalina_francisco]

Welcome to our corner of the universe. As to your profession standing in the way of personal romantic relationships, as I said recently to someone close to me in the same line of work as yourself, if they cannot accept you for who you are you don't need them anyway...makes it much easier to sort out the gems from the fool's gold. I tend to think in this place in time, if men still have problems with a woman working in such fields, they still have not come up to date with a woman's right to choose, or have the maturity to realise that it is work and nothing to do with personal emotional involvement. I also think some have a problem not being able to earn similar sums of money in their own work..another thing of the past.

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/173/376615023_0ab3a34b3f_t.jpg Catalina

 

[KinkyBoyUK]

Hi all. I was recommended this forum on this site by a friend and colleague (won't name names). Am new to forums in general but this one seems articulate and informative, I've been impressed by a number of the thread topics here.

To introduce myself; I am a professional escort/domme/submissive working in London England under the name 'secretvictoria.' By nature I'm submissive, though my work has made it somewhat tricky to meet and date a man I respect who is able to respect me despite what I do. It's kind of a family thing as my mother runs a couple of 'massage parlours' in Kent. I wanted to work for myself and was drawn to the kinkier end of the spectrum.

I'm also studying for a degree in criminal psychology. I found Marquis' comparisons between D/s and abusive relationships very interesting and it has given me a kick up the ass to read more around my subject rather than simply study what I'm told to.

Anyway, I only meant this to be a short introductory post to say hi and test the water as it were. Thankyou for reading.

Victoria x

hi there and welcome, hope you enjoy your time here. i must say you do sound rather fasinating from your openbing post.

 

[Marquis]

Marquis, I have a novella in the making for a UK publishers called 'black lace' and after reading some of the short stories here I do plan on posting some of my stuff. Need to get around to editing it first though. Think as a mod you must be entitled to first peek or something, am I right?

Right you are.

 

[Netzach]

... or have the maturity to realise that it is work and nothing to do with personal emotional involvement..

http://farm1.static.flickr.com/173/376615023_0ab3a34b3f_t.jpg Catalina

I agree with everything you said except this.

There is some kind of work that IS personal involvement. No one would argue that a shrink or a cop or a daycare worker or anyone who makes a living due to the vagaries of the other humans and their fragile psyches can easily just leave it at the door. I'm sure for some people it is, but for most of us developing boundaries is an ongoing process and challenge and "it's just work" doesn't cut it at the end of the day, you have to formulate a stance that works for you.

But I think this applies to a lot of jobs. Talk to an ER nurse.

I've only done SM as a top professionally, I haven't done straight and the only submitting I did professionally was to be a sub in another Domme's scene (acting is fun) so I can't even imagine the process of ironing out I'd have to do if I extended my professional life into areas of personal discomfort like that. For other people neither of these activities comprise areas of discomfort, but I think we all have to get from point A to point B when we make these calls.

 

[secretvictoria]

Personally I have different approaches to topping as opposed to subbing. Topping I get no personal kick out of, for me it's purely a business transaction. This means I can be more detached and professional. It allows me more control and I feel far safer when working with submissive clients. How Netzach deals with that as a natural Domme must be interesting, taking off the pro-domme hat when being intimate with her husband and keeping things special and personal to them.

Pro-subbing I only do within a certain comfort zone of knowing the client already or getting to know them over a couple of meetings. I have to be very specific about what I am and am not happy to do and these days I have a checklist that I hand to dominant clients. Usually the men I see are married to women who won't experiment and see me because they don't want to leave the relationship but do want a little kink occasionally. They depend upon my discretion and the very last thing they want is to piss me off and have me cry 'rape' or "GBH' all over the place.

Because I see a select few clients fairly regularly I do become 'attached' to them a little. I'm part therapist as well as prostitute and I do think fondly of most of them. I think you have to be able to set boundaries in your head before you get into this game. I will listen to them and advise them if I feel able to but what they do between one session and the next isn't my concern. My sympathy is usually genuine but it lasts only for the time I'm physically with the guy.

I do enjoy bottoming to whatever extent I connect with the guy but it is just a job. If I found myself developing feelings for a married client I'd find an excuse not to see them again. If he was single I'd tell him and allow him to either take things further or see someone else professionally. I have to much respect for myself and my clients to deviate from these self imposed protocols. I've seen other escorts mangle themselves emotionally over clients and vice-versa. If a client becomes too attached to me I give him a couple of kind warnings and then I'll refuse to see him again.

 

[Netzach]

If a client becomes too attached to me I give him a couple of kind warnings and then I'll refuse to see him again.

In retrospect I wish I'd been better at identifying this *before* feeling drawn in.

I don't regret the personal slave I got out of the whole deal, but I've got even more respect for other pros than I did at the outset.

 

[secretvictoria]

In retrospect I wish I'd been better at identifying this *before* feeling drawn in.

I don't regret the personal slave I got out of the whole deal, but I've got even more respect for other pros than I did at the outset.

It's never easy because I hate disappointing people and there's always the fear in the back of my head that he'll react badly or start stalking me or something. It's a risk working from home and I have to try to read people and select clients very carefully. I've learned to trust my gut. If I get bad vibes of any description I listen to them, even when I have no idea why.

My mum was in the escort business and although sheilded from it as a child, once I was adolescent mum was open and it was the backdrop to our lives. I'm therefore a bit more savvy for my age than I would otherwise be.

 

[the_pet]

I had a moment of weakness and I was watching out for aeroil anyway. And ninjas.

I was busy fighting off the Ninjas!

If you had one of these at least you could get some peace for a couple of hours.....

http://i120.photobucket.com/albums/o180/onesilentfeather/no-ninjas1.jpg