Just popping down the shops. . .

[Stevie]

...do you want anything?

 

[Lovely Latina]

Yeah...a couple more threads like this, please.

 

[Lovely Latina]

Oh...and a box of Stay Free maxi pads, too, if ya don't mind. (It's that time.)

 

[Stevie]

No problem love, be back in a sec.

 

[Lovely Latina]

LOL!

How *DO* I do it!?

 

[Skitten]

LOL you guys are just too cool

 

[Lovely Latina]

Hey Stevieeeeee???

Where the HELL are my maxi pads!?

 

[Guest]

Oi, Steve. Hang on. Here's a couple of quid. Can I get a Bounty bar, a packet of Worcester Sauce crisps and a copy of NME if it's in?

 

[Gingersnap]

Butterscotch suckers and strawberries. Some ice cream, chocolate sauce and a can of whipped cream umm make that two cans........ Thanks Stevie

 

[Deborah]

Hey Stevie, stop at the pet store and get Roger a muzzle.

Yeah, Stevie, you can pick me up a new sports car. I sold mine a month ago. I need a new one really bad. And Gingersnap, just what kind of sports car do you have? I've been meaning to ask you ever since you mentioned it on that gas thread. Not a Miata by chance? That's what mine was.

This conversation between Stevie and LL (LMAO!!!) reminds me of a hilarious scene from the movie "The Fortune" with Jack Nicholson and Warren Beatty. Jack tells Warren that when he was a kid his mother made him go to the store once a month and buy her what she called "mouse beds."

 

[Guest]

GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!!!!!!!!

Hey, Deborator - how long are you going to leave me chained to this post? The neighbours are complaining about me barking and growling into the wee small hours.

 

[Merelan]

Oh, please don't leave him chained there. he is much to sweet a guy to use like that. Though he can be very naughty at times can't he?

 

[Guest]

Have you come to release me, Mistress M? I think you'll need to borrow Hecate's wire-cutters.

 

[Merelan]

I have them right here. She sent me to "rescue" you. Or don't you want to be rescued?

 

[Lovely Latina]

...reminds me of a hilarious scene from the movie "The Fortune" with Jack Nicholson and Warren Beatty. Jack tells Warren that when he was a kid his mother made him go to the store once a month and buy her what she called "mouse beds."

God, I remember that scene! LOL

I think that if it weren't for the fear of the whole "PRICE CHECK!" drama, that alot more men wouldn't be such babies about purchasing the damn things for their woman. I mean...what's the big friggin' deal??

Although...it's always been a theory of mine that it's a big "inside joke" in the supermarket industry to make EVERY feminine hygiene product virtually un-scannable in EVERY supermarket. LOL (A joke most likely instigated by a WOMAN...hehe). But it reminds me of a little comedy sketch done by one of my favorite comedians, Robert Schimmel:

[Man walks up to supermarket check-out with a gallon of Rocky Road Ice Cream, the latest issue of Tits-a-Rama, and a douche for his wife.]

*Bleep!* [Douch won't scan price.]

Clerk <over loud speaker>: Price check!

Man: I think it was 10 bucks.

Clerk: Ten bucks!? There's no way this is ten bucks.

Man: Twenty!...I'll pay twenty, please!

Clerk: Twenty? I can't charge you twenty for this!

Clerk <over loud speaker>: Price check on Summer's Eve Herbal Douche with Mesquite!

Man: Fuck it! I don't want the douche!

Clerk <over loud speaker>: Fuck it! He doesn't want the douche!


Poor Stevie...hehehe.

 

[Stevie]

Ok I'm back with everyone's stuff, Deborah I got you the car but the sreering wheel seems to be on the wrong side for the US so I'm keeping it. Roger, the NME was sold out so I got you Melody Maker. Lovely, don't poor Stevie me, I'm an enlightend 21st century boy and have no hang-ups about buying feminine hygine products.

 

[Deborah]

Hey Roger, did Stevie let the pussy out of the bag about your girlfriend, 'eh?

 

[Stevie]

Sorry, you've lost me.

 

[Stevie]

I thought he only screwed chickens or something.

 

[Deborah]

Of course I lost you, Stevie. You are from the White Island. You and Flagg, and Roger and this new dude, dave-73. Birds of a feather pluck together. And I suppose you also used to be a girl, Stevie? No wonder you love shopping.

 

[Stevie]

The reason I love shopping is, as I am sure you will know, that like every Englishman I am secretly gay.

 

[Deborah]

Hey, we already knew that, Stevie, now tell us something new. Do you fantasize about fucking chickens or gorillas? Is your girlfriend's name Bob? We know you have a deep dark secret and you will feel a lot better once you tell us. I mean, Flagg and Roger feel so much better since they fessed up, and your bro dave-73 will start babbling soon. I know his secret and I'm telling.

 

[Stevie]

All in all we Brits seem seriously fucked up, but I aint spilling my guts like a Jerry Springer guest for your enjoyment.

 

[Deborah]

Forget Jerry Springer, Stevie. How about Howard Stern? Hey, how about if we paint your tits green, 'eh? (Last night's show, LOL!) Will you talk then?

 

[Stevie]

I don't have tits, well not since I've been on the old Slim Fast diet.