Just how much do looks mean to you??

[Mia62]

Ok...we discussed money...now how about looks??

I realize that you can find ONE nice thing to say about any person's appearance...but could you actually picture yourself starting a relationship real time with a person that you could only find one attractive quality about?

How many men are guilty of going for the 'eye candy'? Yes...and women too.

No matter how you try and say that you really don't care and only want someone for their mind...how honest are you when you say that?

 

[Vinny]

I am guilty at times but I have taken attitude over looks at times

 

[Freya]

Looks are important to me. I can't be sexually attracted to someone I find ugly, and if there isn't that attraction, then no relationship would develop.

But, looks are subjective. What I find attractive, might be considered ugly by another person - and vice versa. And tastes can change person to person as well. I might find one guy good looking - then see another who is a polar opposite to that, and also find him attractive. I'd never date a guy I considered ugly - it might be superficial, but that's how I feel.

Edited to add that size is an important factor in this. I don't find most overweight guys to be sexy - however, I do like a bit of meat on a man, and don't like superskinny guys either.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Physical beauty? Ok...I find most women's bodies to be attractive, most faces at least 'cute', if I have an emotional connection to them. If not, then no.

 

[white_mage_goddess]

I couldn't be with a guy I found physically repulsive but as long as he is average looking, I'm not picky. I'm not a supermodel myself and I wouldn't want someone not to want to be with me because they didn't think I was attractive enough.

If you find someone even mildly average and you fall in love with their personality, they have a way of magickly becoming drop dead gorgeous. One day you look at them, and you're like "Why didn't I realize how gorgeous they were back the first time I met them?" At least that's how it is for me.

Also I figure if I find someone and marry them that one day we're both going to be old wrinkled hags and I'll be stuck with just inner beauty anyway, so what's the point in obsessing over looks?

 

[honeylick]

looks are the bait, but it's the person inside that reels me in.

ive recently had opportunity to learn some about a man's psyche prior to seeing him, but was pleasantly satisfied that the physical connection solidified my mental attachment.

he's a great package, all over.

 

[J.B.]

a lot.

I sing the Barbie girl song everyday as I get ready for work....

 

[honeylick]

a lot.

I sing the Barbie girl song everyday as I get ready for work....

-snort-

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

I couldn't be with a guy I found physically repulsive but as long as he is average looking, I'm not picky. I'm not a supermodel myself and I wouldn't want someone not to want to be with me because they didn't think I was attractive enough.

If you find someone even mildly average and you fall in love with their personality, they have a way of magickly becoming drop dead gorgeous. One day you look at them, and you're like "Why didn't I realize how gorgeous they were back the first time I met them?" At least that's how it is for me.

Also I figure if I find someone and marry them that one day we're both going to be old wrinkled hags and I'll be stuck with just inner beauty anyway, so what's the point in obsessing over looks?

All good points...if they are in the 'normal range' of looks, and the emotions are there, they become very attractive to you. On the other hand, and I've experienced this personally, when you are with a physically attractive person, and they have a repulsive personality, you stop seeing them as attractive.

 

[JazzManJim]

I've always found that a person's personality heavily influences how attractive I think they are - the better I like them as a person, the prettier they are to me. So I don't use appearance as any sort of objective measure.

 

[Mia62]

Ok...so how many of you have been chatting to someone online or posting and flirting with them...only to have a picture sent to you and *POOF* the attraction is over?

 

[Vinny]

Never happened

 

[Freya]

Ok...so how many of you have been chatting to someone online or posting and flirting with them...only to have a picture sent to you and *POOF* the attraction is over?

*raises hand*

 

[Vinny]

Usually the woman has that reaction to my picture

 

[white_mage_goddess]

never happened to me either. By the time they showed me pics, I was already way too infatuated with them to be put off by their looks.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Ok...we discussed money...now how about looks??

Physical appearance becomes less important with age, for most women, at least. I am not sure that ever changes for some men, however.

 

[J.B.]

Ok...so how many of you have been chatting to someone online or posting and flirting with them...only to have a picture sent to you and *POOF* the attraction is over?

I've never been into what's traditionally thought of as "cute" or "handsome" so.... whatever... besides your attitude can make or break my attraction much faster than the way someone looks.

 

[marksgirl]

Ok...so how many of you have been chatting to someone online or posting and flirting with them...only to have a picture sent to you and *POOF* the attraction is over?

Guilty. But I have eye candy at home so really it's not that big a deal for me, I can still be friends because looks are not everything to me.

 

[k¡tty]

I've been with men who fits the *norm* for being very handsome and some who didn't, but I found attractive none the less.


We all have a bit of shallowness in us but I think for the most part it isn't to the degree of unhealthiness. It's fine to have preferences, things about the opposite sex that we find more attractive, but that doesn't mean that we always follow that because other qualities are more important.

Say a women usually likes shorter men but meets a wonderful man who's rather tall.. I doubt she'd chuck him over the side simply because of that.

It's all of the other attributes that are important, his intelligence, sense of humor, kindness, sense of self worth, how he treats those around him, etc etc .. that's what I find appealing.

 

[Johnny Mayberry]

Ok...so how many of you have been chatting to someone online or posting and flirting with them...only to have a picture sent to you and *POOF* the attraction is over?

I sometimes worry about that happening to me, when I'm feeling less than excellent...but I haven't run into anyone so unattractive that I wouldn't be turned on by them in the right circumstances.

 

[Lancecastor]

Men select women primarily on physical attractiveness, with the social and intellectual qualities being secondary....hence the whole Beauty/Youth industry that drives women to be thin, youthful, wear high heels, remove their body hair, color their hair, paint their faces, have their breasts boosted with wire trapezes and augmented by surgery.

Women select men primarily on physical qualities that suggest strength, virility and the ability to provide for them and the offspring the woman will produce if/when seeded...hence the whole Real Man industry that drives men to appear macho, fit,decisive, confident, driven, generous, and well-provisioned with the trappings of wealth and power (cars, gadgets, investments,etc).

Personally, I look for evidence of intelligence, wit, self-esteem, articulated stable values, capabilities in the home & kitchen, social grace, sophistication...wrapped in a reasonably fit 36B/26/35 inch format in the 5'5-5'8 range and of the brunette coloring range.

 

[Guest]

.

 

[white_mage_goddess]

Say a women usually likes shorter men but meets a wonderful man who's rather tall.. I doubt she'd chuck him over the side simply because of that.

This is kind of what happened to me with my current b/f. I normally do prefer taller men (6ft plus) but my guy is only 5ft6. But he's such a great guy and so cute anyway, it just doesn't matter. I think he was seriously worried that it would bother me, but its a small part of who a person is.

Can you imagine being 60 and looking back on your lonely life and saying "Well I did meet this wonderful guy I could have spent forever with. He would have worshipped and adored me and been everlastingly faithful; a good husband and a good father...but I ditched him cause, well you know, he was a little short for my tastes!"

 

[Summery]

Oddly enough, I just had a conversation with someone from here about this last night. While looks are last on my list of things that are important when considering a relationship with someone, looks still do matter to a certain degree. If I am going to become physically intimate with someone, I couldn't imagine it being with someone that I didn't feel attracted to. That's just being realistic. Perhaps that's a harsh example, but I'm sure you get the point. Sexual chemistry is so many things, not just about outwardly appearances. What I may find attractive, is certainly not going to be the same for another. I have dated some attractive men in my time, but the first second they opened their mouths and arrogant things came spewing out, or they had nothing of any real substance to say, I was completely turned off and no longer viewed them in an attractive light. I honestly need someone with an intelligent mind. That is what I ultimately find sexy, and completely pleasing to my eyes. The mind is truly the most amazing erogenous zone. In my opinion.

 

[Cleopatra]

Ok...so how many of you have been chatting to someone online or posting and flirting with them...only to have a picture sent to you and *POOF* the attraction is over?

Embarrassed to say - it has. That makes me shallow? *shudder*