Just for fun

[Ishmael]

WHAT KIND OF ON-LINE SUB ARE YOU?

POOR-ME SUB: This "sub" always has something going wrong in her life. Of course, it is never her fault..she is always being played upon and victimized by others. If only she found the *perfect* dom, her life would be problem-free and forever-blissful. Favorite IM to send: "Will you be my dom, sir? I am just a helpless little subbie." Favorite IM to receive: "Just do what I say, slave!"

JUST-DO-ME SUB: This "sub" just wants to be beaten. It doesn't really matter by who, or what..as long as he (I use "he" here because these are typically male) can feel the lash. Frequently misbehaving on purpose, this sub can drive a dom *crazy*. Favorite IM to send: "I have been naughty and need to be punished. Spank me now, Mistress!" Favorite IM to receive: "You are a bad sub and need to be punished! Bend over!"

BARBIE-SUB: This "sub" just likes the way she looks in leather fashions. She is afraid of the whip, and has never seen a clamp in her life. Her favorite store is "Dream Dresser", and her whole paycheck is spent there each week. Favorite IM to send: "Would you like to know what I am wearing, sir?" Favorite IM to receive: "What are you wearing?"

HE-HURT-ME SUB: This "sub", without any negotiations, talk of limits or safewords, rushes out to a country cabin to to play with a dom she met 2 days ago online. After letting him tie her up and whip her, she decides he is a menace to society, and can't wait to tell all her "sub" friends he is a "BAD dom". Favorite IM to send: "Subsis, I need to pass on a warning to you!" Favorite IM to receive: "My poor subsis, you have got to warn everyone about this creep!"

I-JUST-NEED-A-MAN SUB: This "sub", after exhausting all her singles bar and healthclub meting places, decides that the D/s world would be a good place to meet a *man*. she really has no interest in D/s, she just needs someone to spend the rest of her life with. She is a close relative of POOR-ME SUB. Amazingly, when she "gets her dom", she suddenly looses interest in any type of sex. Favorite IM to send: "Sir, will you take care of me forever?" Favorite IM to receive: "I have always dreamed of having a large family."

NO-ONE-CAN-TOP-ME SUB: This "sub" longs to submit, yet claims no dom is strong enough to top her. Some say she is really just a domme in disguise. Favorite IM to send: "Think you are strong enough to put me in my place, jerk?" Favorite IM to receive: "No, Mistress, I am really just a weak and helpless slave. ::falling to the floor and kissing your boots::

SUBMISSION-IS-THE-GREATEST-GIFT Submissive. This submissive has stars in her eyes and naivete in her heart. She swoons at the mere thought of a dom, any dom, asking her to pass the salt. She writes her dom's name in the corner of her notebook with little hearts and flowers around it. She declares that there is no better way to love than through submission, and that d/s is a "better" and "higher" manner of loving than anything a silly old vanilla person might do. She lives on an emotional roller-coaster, sentimental enough to cry when seeing a long-distance phone company commercial. Favorite IM to send: "You are all of life to me, there is nothing about life worthwhile without you." Favorite IM to receive: "I am everything you'l ever want or need, and I'll protect you from everything."


Copyright©1997
LappTopp

All rights to this original work are retained by the author, Lapp Topp, and may not be reproduced without written permission.

--------------------------------------------------

Well, what kind are you?

 

[Ricckk]

WHAT KIND OF ON-LINE SUB ARE YOU?

I think most of us have seen this type of online sub, but of course there are those that are not "players". It is also true that there are many "in person" or "real time" submissives who fit these descriptions as well: "He is a REAL Master; he flogged me at the party." etc.

 

[A Desert Rose]

I do not fit any of the above. And that is because I am the ulitmate sub.

I would give you references but, ummmm I have none.......

LMAO......

 

[MissTaken]

I am a ham and cheese sub, with lettuce, tomato and hot peppers!

 

[Siren]

 

[Siren]

 

[Ishmael]

Ishie........

Where did I give you permission to call me "Ishie"?

Ishmael

 

[Siren]

 

[bored1]

I like this board

 

[bunny bondage]

sentimental enough to cry when seeing a long-distance phone company commercial.

awww....i did that once....*blushes* but it was REALLY sweet! and reminded me of a really good childhood friend that i lost touch with as i grew up! c'mon, cut a girl some slack!

i guess of all the catagories, the last one suits me best, although not completly. i am sentimental, i wear my heart on my sleeve. i'm naive, and it keeps getting me hurt, but i'm learning. i don't think bdsm is "better" than other relationships, it's just the only thing for me! ^_^

and yeah, siren, what IS he trying to say? *glares*

 

[A Desert Rose]

Just a funny......in my email today

WOMEN'S ENGLISH:

Yes = No.
No = Yes.
Maybe = No.
We need = I want.
I'm sorry = You'll be sorry.
We need to talk = I need to complain.
Sure, go ahead = I don't want you to.
Do what you want = You'll pay for this later.
I'm not upset = Of course I'm upset, you moron!
Are you listening to me?? = Too late, you're dead.
You have to learn to communicate = Just agree with me.
Be romantic, turn out the lights = I have flabby thighs.
You're so ... manly = You need a shave and you sweat a lot.
Do you love me? = I'm going to ask for something expensive.
It's your decision = The correct decision should be obvious by now.
You're certainly attentive tonight = Is sex all you ever think about?
I'll be ready in a minute = Kick off your shoes and find a
good game on TV.
How much do you love me? = I did something today that you're
really not going to like.

MEN'S ENGLISH:

I'm hungry = I'm hungry.
I'm sleepy = I'm sleepy.
I'm tired = I'm tired.
Nice dress = Nice cleavage!
I love you = Let's have sex now.
I'm bored = Do you want to have sex?
What's wrong? = I guess sex is out of the question.
May I have this dance? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I call you sometime? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Do you want to go to a movie? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Can I take you out to dinner? = I'd like to have sex with you.
Will you marry me? = I want to make it illegal for you to have sex
with other guys.
You look tense, let me give you a massage = I want to have
sex with you within the next ten minutes.
Let's talk = I am trying to impress you by showing that I am a deep person and then I'd like to have sex with you.

 

[A Desert Rose]

Okay, some of these are old but....

some are new and downright funny...


These useful quotes are from "actual" U.S. government employee performance valuations:

1. Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig.
2. I would not allow this employee to breed.
3. This employee is really not so much of a has-been but more of a definite won't-be.
4. Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap.
5. When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet.
6. He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle.
7. This young lady has delusions of adequacy.
8. He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them.
9. This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.
10. This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better.
11. Got a full six-pack but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together.
12. A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus.
13. He does not have ulcers, but he is a carrier.
14. I would like to go hunting with him sometime.
15. He has been working with glue too much.
16. He would argue with a signpost.
17. He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room.
18. When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell.
19. If you see two people talking, and one looks bored, he is the other one. (Rose's personal favorite.)
20. A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on.
21. A prime candidate for natural de-selection.
22. Donated his brain to science before he was done using it.
23. Gates are down, the lights are flashing but the train is not coming.
24. Has two brains: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.
25. If he were any more stupid, he would have to be watered twice a week.
26. If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you would get change.
27. If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.
28. It is hard to believe that he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm.
29. One neuron short of a synapse.
30. Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled.
31. Takes him two hours to watch 60 Minutes.
32. The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

 

[A Desert Rose]

From the mouth's of babes.... another oldie but funny

HOW DO YOU DECIDE WHO YOU'RE GOING TO MARRY?

You got to find somebody who likes the same stuff. Like, if you like sports, she should like it that you like sports, and she should keep the chips and dip coming.
Alan, age 10

No person really decides before they grow up who they're going to marry. God decides it all way before, and you get to find out later who you're stuck with.
Kirsten, age 10

WHAT IS THE RIGHT AGE TO GET MARRIED?

Twenty-three is the best age because you know the person FOREVER by then.
Camille, age 10

No age is good to get married at. You got to be a fool to get married.
Freddie, age 6 (Very wise for his age)

HOW CAN A STRANGER TELL IF TWO PEOPLE ARE MARRIED?

You might have to guess, based on whether they seem to be yelling at the same kids.
Derrick, age 8

WHAT DO YOU THINK YOUR MOM AND DAD HAVE IN COMMON?

Both don't want any more kids.
Lori, age 8

WHAT DO MOST PEOPLE DO ON A DATE?

Dates are for having fun, and people should use them to get to know each other. Even boys have something to say if you listen long enough.
Lynnette, age 8 (Isn't she a treasure)

On the first date, they just tell each other lies and that usually gets them interested enough to go for a second date.
Martin, age 10

WHAT WOULD YOU DO ON A FIRST DATE THAT WAS TURNING SOUR?

I'd run home and play dead. The next day I would call all the newspapers and make sure they wrote about me in all the dead columns.
Craig, age 9 (Rose's personal favorite.)

WHEN IS IT OKAY TO KISS SOMEONE?

When they're rich.
Pam, age 7

The rule goes like this: If you kiss someone, then you should marry them and have kids with them. It's the right thing to do.
Howard, age 8
IS IT BETTER TO BE SINGLE OR MARRIED?

I don't know which is better, but I'll tell you one thing. I'm never going to have sex with my wife. I don't want to be all grossed out.
Theodore, age 8

It's better for girls to be single but not for boys. Boys need someone to clean up after them.
Anita, age 9 (Bless you child)

HOW WOULD THE WORLD BE DIFFERENT IF PEOPLE DIDN'T GET MARRIED?

There sure would be a lot of kids to explain, wouldn't there?
Kelvin, age 8

And the #1 Favorite is..." HOW WOULD YOU MAKE A MARRIAGE WORK?
Tell your wife that she looks pretty even if she looks like a truck.
Ricky, age 10

 

[A Desert Rose]

Last one

Now I am done..... Hope you like.

 

[Ishmael]

Talking to yourself?

Ishmael

 

[A Desert Rose]

Yes, and I am having a real good time of it too, Mr. Ishmael.

Take note please, I *do* know how to spell your name......LOL

 

[Siren]

 

[A Desert Rose]

No Siren

not you.... Some one else this morning spelled it Ishmeal.... LOL

You can call him whatever he gives permission to. So far, I have no idea what to call him LMAO......

 

[Siren]

 

[A Desert Rose]

I guess that is better than having no idea what to make of him.

That is the boat I am in right now..... ~wink~ LOL

 

[Ishmael]

Eat your heart out.

Ishmael

 

[A Desert Rose]

Eat your heart out.

Ishmael

uh huh... ~winking and rolling my eyes~ LOL

 

[Sandia]

Ishie.. You Owe Me A Post Dude.

Desertie.. I'm remembering the One About The Truck.

 

[Desdemona]

Oh gawd, are we gonna start a trend of adding *ie* to everybody's name? I'm having flashbacks to high school and college days.

 

[Ricckk]

Re: Just a funny......in my email today

MEN'S ENGLISH:

I think you're forgetting:
Ten inches = Ten centimeters