Just an observation...

[lady_jennaxx]

In my many experiences of meeting new people online I've often wondered why do so many feel the need to ask for pics right away?

Don't get me wrong, I understand it might make you more comfortable to "see" who you're chatting with and/or make it more pleasureable for you to have a visual image, but personally, I like to get to know someone a little first. That's one of the things that appeals to me most about meeting others online--being able to chat with them and learn about them (or at least what they'd like to share) and letting my imagination do the rest.
I have several online friends that I've known for quite some time now and have never seen their pictures. I don't feel that I have to because I know them from the inside out, which is what matters to me more than anything. After time, if they'd like me to see them that's fine...if they don't, well that's fine too.

Like I said, it's just an observation--not a criticism of others. Everyone's different and I respect that. If someone would really like to chat and get to know me for who I am, that's the person I'm really interested in communicating with.

Well that was just my 2 cents for what it's worth!

Anyone who'd like to chat...my Yahoo ID is in my profile. Thanks!

 

[DarkDuchess]

I think it depends on what the individual that you are talking to is after. If they just want to be your friend, they won't ask for pics until they know you, but if they are after sex or cyber- that seems to be the first question they ask.

That is a great attitude in your post, BTW.

DD

 

[baseball_guy]

true...true

i agree jenna...same here one of my cloest friends from yim is the same way...known her for three years....

also, if anyone feels like chatting with me my yim and aim sn's are on my profiles

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Glad to see I'm not the only one...

Thanks DD and BG. I knew I couldn't be alone in my sentiments.

In tterms of cyber, I think it's makes my imagination work a bit harder if I have no preconceived notions. So far, it's worked well for me!

 

[baseball_guy]

i feel ya there jenna.....i looovee cyberr, easier with a pic in my head but dont need it

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Cyber with the right person is amazing. Although it will NEVER be as good as the real thing...if you and your partner are into it, have vivid imaginations and are good at expressing yourselves through the written word (one of the things that always does it for me) then it can be pretty damn good!

Also being a fast typist helps and if you're proficient at one-handed typing (it IS an art) then you've REALLY got something!

Jen

 

[baseball_guy]

this cyber talk is makin me wanna cyber.... lol

i jus wish i had someone to cyber with

 

[mark197205]

Cyber with the right person is amazing. Although it will NEVER be as good as the real thing...if you and your partner are into it, have vivid imaginations and are good at expressing yourselves through the written word (one of the things that always does it for me) then it can be pretty damn good!

Also being a fast typist helps and if you're proficient at one-handed typing (it IS an art) then you've REALLY got something!

Jen

Welcome ladyjenna, i've become a rather good one-handed typist i've come a long way from being a one-finger typist a little while ago

 

[bbboy]

I don't feel that I have to because I know them from the inside out, which is what matters to me more than anything. After time, if they'd like me to see them that's fine...if they don't, well that's fine too.

I believe you are 100% correct - I am with you

 

[Guest]

everyone is different in this regard. Sometimes I like to use 100% imagination, other times I like to see a pic so I can focus on my imagination with that one person. It's all good though.

 

[sandspike]

lost a cyber buddy

She and I would write poems to each other and she would
download her paintings for me to see. After several months
she since me a flick, not bad. I sent her one and we kept
on writing for about a year. The pictures were her idea, but
not a deal breaker. If you have a lot in common the flick
is just part of the package. When it gets hot then that would change. Thats what happen to us and we stopped because
of our spouses. I miss the contact with someone like her
and the picture wasn't that big a deal

 

[discreetplay]

Pics don't much matter

I think it's safe to say that most of us that visit Lit. are more interested in what someone has to say and what makes them tick than what they look like. That being said, I get just as turned on by a picture as the next guy--more because of the bravery involoved in sharing than by how good looking they are. Putting yourself on display makes you vulnerable, much like when you make the first move with someone your not sure of. It's a moment that scares the shit out of me and turns me on all at the same time.

I don't need a pic, however, to be involved or turned on.

 

[4_4time]

Ahh, I agree Jenna a mind is a terrible thing to waste...

 

[lady_jennaxx]

Thanks to everyone that's replied here or via PM.

It's good to know that there are still others out there who are more interested in what's inside the package than how it's wrapped...

Jen

 

[hewolf]

Looks are so very important, but in a proper context. Photo is but a small fragment of the image of a person.

When I meet someone in RL, I am exposed to the whole person - physical looks, intellect, sex appeal, BL, small, touch etc.

Online, we only see small fragments. Ability to write is one, picture is another .
They are all incomplete - but somehow I prefer to get to know the person a bit , THEN see the pic - it works better for me to absorb other bits first. But nothing, nothing, beats meeting in person.

 

[Tyreesis]

This kind of reminds me of an old saying,,,

"Never judge a book by it's cover."

I 'try' not to let someone's appearence determine what I think about them. But there have been times when I have made quick judgements and been sorry for it. Of course, I have been on the recieving end also. I'm just and average looking guy, who can blend very easily into a crowd, someone you wouldn't think twice about. When I was single, there were many girls that blew me off, cause I didn't 'fit' their criteria. It may have also been the fact that I didn't get into playing those mind games where they like you but pretend they don't. But anyway,,,,been married now for going on 15 years now, engaged for 2 years before that, and when some of those girls who didn't give me a second glance saw what they lost out on, they were the ones who were out of luck.

What I'm trying to say is be friends with someone first, if something grows, great, if not you still have a friend, no matter what they may look like.

 

[bluewater1000]

Imagination is good, pics sharpen the image in the mind, cyber via YIM, grin, pixies on my keyboard, spelling mistakes eveywhere, so voice/cam is the first choice for me

 

[WestBurb]

best books have basic covers

I have to say that.. sure most everyone is attracted to a good looking guy/girl (depending on preference), but the cover of the book doesn't mean it's the best read. I've dated some very attractive women, but the women I've always found the most attractive, seductive, articulate, fun, and exciting were the women you would least expect. I went through the dating scene of only dating 'arm candy' but after I grew up and realized that the most attractive thing about a woman is her heart (and I'm a total sucker for great eyes and a warm smile).
I'm definitely not old... but once I opened my eyes and saw past the basics of someone... Its absolutely amazing how attractive that inner beauty is!

 

[MT_Pitcher]

Thanks to everyone that's replied here or via PM.

It's good to know that there are still others out there who are more interested in what's inside the package than how it's wrapped...

Jen

There is one more thing to consider on the boards though.
Some people use them to deceive others. Some are guys posting as women. Some just lie completely about who they are.
WhenI ask for a pic, it's not because I'm looking to find only a great beauty. it's more just to have a face to associate with who I'm typing with.
And if nothing else in a persons appearance is important, a persons eyes seem to tell me a lot.
Nothing to do with the wrapping as you say.

 

[JonRogue]

I agree that what's inside is what matters... I'll take a woman with an enthusiastic sex drive over an ice cold beauty queen any day! But it is nice to know that the person you're talking with is who they say you are. I like being able to picture my friends online. I don't really care what they look like although if I write a story about them it sure helps to have a description to work with

 

[acacac]

I'm more into it for the friendship so it doesnt matter what people look like