just an act?

[CherryPop22]

Hello everyone,
I need some advice I am a sort of new sort of not new sub. I have lurked around and posted some but not much. Anyway I met this DOM a few days ago and he seemed to know how I felt and what I wanted right away. We clicked right from the start but now he has been disappearing for a few days the first time he said he had gotten in a car accident and ended up in the hospital and now he has disappeared again. Am i just trying to get attached to fast or is there something fishy going on? any advice would be appreciated

 

[James G 5]

Hello everyone,
I need some advice I am a sort of new sort of not new sub. I have lurked around and posted some but not much. Anyway I met this DOM a few days ago and he seemed to know how I felt and what I wanted right away. We clicked right from the start but now he has been disappearing for a few days the first time he said he had gotten in a car accident and ended up in the hospital and now he has disappeared again. Am i just trying to get attached to fast or is there something fishy going on? any advice would be appreciated

Yes, you ARE trying to get attached too fast
And yes, there is something suspicious going on

When you say "dissapeared", did you meet him for real, or online?

 

[CherryPop22]

Well, He has not been online and he has not answered his phone. I do not know what number he gave me but i did reach him once but that was when he first gave me his number

 

[Luna_Wolf72]

Ohh darlin..there is no maybe to it..he is taking you for a spin. If you have not ever *met* him in real life..then it is very easy for him to act like the *click* is/was mutual. The fact that you have never reached him at that phone number again..means that he was more than likely at someone else's house.

You definately got involved with a player. Cut your losses NOW and move on.

pet

 

[morninggirl5]

Ohh darlin..there is no maybe to it..he is taking you for a spin. If you have not ever *met* him in real life..then it is very easy for him to act like the *click* is/was mutual. The fact that you have never reached him at that phone number again..means that he was more than likely at someone else's house.

You definately got involved with a player. Cut your losses NOW and move on.

pet

I agree with pet.

That little voice in the back of you that asked those questions is your very best friend. When it starts asking questions, listen to it. If you're worried about getting attached too quickly, then you're probably getting attached too quickly. If you "think" something is fishy, then something is fishy.

 

[CherryPop22]

thank you everyone for your advice do any online BDSM relationships work out?

 

[navarre]

thank you everyone for your advice do any online BDSM relationships work out?

No, they don't, because there is no such thing as online BDSM.
BDSM reality is only skin-to-skin.
Online is only a roleplay fantasy.

Sorry if I shattered any dreams.

 

[redelicious]

thank you everyone for your advice do any online BDSM relationships work out?

It depends on what you are looking for and how good you are at finding a partner who meets your needs.

People who meet solely for the purpose of playing and who aren't interested in meeting (in real life) probably aren't going to have a long lasting relationship, but then that may suit them just fine.

People who are looking for something that will eventually enter into "real life" can and do also find what they are looking for. It requires that both parties are honest about what they want and need, and what they are able to give. These relationships take lots of dedication, patience, and communication, and for that reason some are ill fated. However, there are some success stories right here at Lit.

The problem is that it can be difficult to discern players from the rest of the bunch, but that doesn't mean you should give up. Just trust your instincts.

*edited so that it would actually make sense*

 

[snoozebutton]

Well coming from a wicked, wanton and evil Dom, ME, I have found love, lust and lewdness. And a couple of ladies who I hope will decorate my heart till it stops.

 

[James G 5]

thank you everyone for your advice do any online BDSM relationships work out?

Virtually never
SOMEtimes (but only maybe 10%) you can meet someone online, take time to get to know them there AND on the phone, and then SLOWLY and CAREFULLY move to real life
But all online/phone, long distance, never meet or rarely meet...no

 

[Desdemona]

I'll chime in and add my voice to the crowd that is in favor of real life. Granted, I met Snooze right here at Lit, but we moved to real life quickly and spend time together on a very regular basis. Even so, it takes alot of work and communication.

 

[Princessintrng]

You took the words right out of my mouth

No, they don't, because there is no such thing as online BDSM.
BDSM reality is only skin-to-skin.
Online is only a roleplay fantasy.

Sorry if I shattered any dreams.

I couldn't agree with you more. I don't believe you can really know someone until you can sit down across from them, look in their eyes and have a conversation. I know there is alot you can learn from body language and if you are talking on line or on the phone you are missing a large part of the conversation.

 

[navarre]

Re: You took the words right out of my mouth

I couldn't agree with you more. I don't believe you can really know someone until you can sit down across from them, look in their eyes and have a conversation. I know there is alot you can learn from body language and if you are talking on line or on the phone you are missing a large part of the conversation.

You took the words right out of my mouth!

 

[CherryPop22]

Thank you everyone for the words of wisdom. I just don't know what to do from here I am ready to start seeking a DOM and after what just happened I know online is not the place to do it so and advice on what I do from here? I don't even know where to begin IM sorry if I sound whinny I just don't know what to do it feels like I have it a wall.

 

[redelicious]

Thank you everyone for the words of wisdom. I just don't know what to do from here I am ready to start seeking a DOM and after what just happened I know online is not the place to do it so and advice on what I do from here? I don't even know where to begin IM sorry if I sound whinny I just don't know what to do it feels like I have it a wall.

Well, there are plenty of threads here about munches. Try locating a munch group in your area. I have never been to one, but my understanding is that munches are set up to be safe, no-pressure gatherings.

Good luck in your search.