just a little secret....

[Krinaia]

Okay, so I can't say this for all submissives - But I have the hardest damned time keeping a secret. I hear it and just want to share it with the world. And sometimes I'm not sure if something should be a secret and kept quiet. It's such torture to sit on a good secret. And my friend that I used to tell my secrets - she's no longer a friend. So I'm left sitting on a mound of juicy secrets and gossip and no one that is so far removed that she'll never tell anyone or know anyhow that the secrets would matter. And I need someone to tell the secrets too otherwise I can't control myself well enough.

Do you'ins all have the same sort of issues? Not necessarily with this sort of control but with something similiar perhaps. I think this inablitiy to control myself is part of why I crave the control of another so badly. You think?

But shhhh don't tell anyone, it's a secret.

 

[kitty4ever]

....

 

[bunny bondage]

oh yes, i tell EVERYTHING to my best friend amber. there's no way i could keep a secret from her! she's my vault and knows all! and plus, ya just HAVE to talk sometimes!

 

[Krinaia]

I'm glad I'm not alone. I can keep a secret too. If the secret is too heavy a burden though - sometimes it helps to have that completely uninvolved person to talk to - and you don't have to say names or you can make up the names since that uninvolved person doesn't know. But the little juicy gossipy ones, those are the worst. I almost always assume anything juicy told to me is a secret unless told otherwise. Maybe thats the only reason I sometimes feel I have too big a mouth. They are the kind that makes me hold my nail between my teeth - I don't bite, not since I was in elementary school - but its comforting.

But really I'm more likely to talk about my own stuff and to not name names. So, really no one ever has to worry - but it's still torturous. Today, everything seems wrong but at least talking to him tonight allowed a layer of ease and of comfort to find me.

But that's just it. Right now, I have someone exerting some measure of control over me... we haven't met yet so it's not full throttle power exchange (yet)... but just having it is enough to help me in other parts of my life. And those are the secrets... mine own. Lol... can I discuss some of the private issues of our relationship in public wihtout "betraying" his confidence? I DUNNO!!!!!!

 

[Krinaia]

oh yes, i tell EVERYTHING to my best friend amber. there's no way i could keep a secret from her! she's my vault and knows all! and plus, ya just HAVE to talk sometimes!

if you had a dominant - would you tell him all too? you sort of should yes? i mean how else can he most effectively dominante you and make decisions based on your behavior unless he knows what you're thinking right? He has to know your secrets.

I kept one tonight, I think it pissed him off. Okay, I know it did. sigh.

 

[willowthwisp]

if you had a dominant - would you tell him all too? you sort of should yes? i mean how else can he most effectively dominante you and make decisions based on your behavior unless he knows what you're thinking right? He has to know your secrets.

I kept one tonight, I think it pissed him off. Okay, I know it did. sigh.

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I continue to be amazed.

A true Dom/me would of course want to know anything of relevance. Especially, if it was effecting your emotional state. It would determine what you were capable of recieving at any given time. Maybe it is just my maturity speaking here....(just?)....what is it that you are surrendering to this Dom? Where is the submission?Perhaps that is the problem with these online fantasy relationships. They stay safely locked away, in fantasy. It would be so easy to lie..........
Unless of course this 'gossip' is about an activity that is getting you off and you don't want to share it cause you don't feel you are ready for it yourself. Once again, where is the trust.

Secrets that effect other peoples lives strongly can be a challenge but if you do not trust this Dom/me.......what are you doing with him/her?
this might sound an over reaction to you but in this lifestyle, nothing should be 'taken for granted'.

 

[Krinaia]

------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I continue to be amazed.

A true Dom/me would of course want to know anything of relevance. Especially, if it was effecting your emotional state. It would determine what you were capable of recieving at any given time. Maybe it is just my maturity speaking here....(just?)....what is it that you are surrendering to this Dom? Where is the submission?Perhaps that is the problem with these online fantasy relationships. They stay safely locked away, in fantasy. It would be so easy to lie..........
Unless of course this 'gossip' is about an activity that is getting you off and you don't want to share it cause you don't feel you are ready for it yourself. Once again, where is the trust.

Secrets that effect other peoples lives strongly can be a challenge but if you do not trust this Dom/me.......what are you doing with him/her?
this might sound an over reaction to you but in this lifestyle, nothing should be 'taken for granted'.

It isn't fantasy... and it isn't an online relationship online. In fact, as soon as the "shop" returns my car, he and I will meet as I will not invite him to my house as he is still a stranger. But without a car to go meet him, and lousy public transportation, we're sort of at a checkmate. I'm about to report my car stolen if it doesn't turn up by Monday. Back to the subject...

I hardly think I should just surrender all of my submission to a man I have not met. Nor am I completely ready to open my heart to him fully. And I can't honestly tell you what my submission or who exactly I am - I am on that very journey and I'm only 22 so I don't expect myself to have all the answers. And I have been very honest and very frank with this man - except I was too embarassed to tell him exactly how much I weighed. But I told him what size I wore as a compromise. I couldn't do it - there are still too many old hurts and scars from 22 years of dealing with being overweight. Society was not kind to me and I was sorely picked on... so I can be touchy on the subject. Not that I'm groossly overweight or anything but I was a sensitive kid and still am. He was disappointed in me but understands and is willing to help me on the subject if I will meet him half way.

Mostly I was refering to the juicy details of what he and I discuss that I would want to chat with a girlfriend about but as I have no close girlfriend anymore nor any girlfriend in the lifestyle... I'm left without a source.

You ask where the trust is. I tell you, it isn't there yet. I've only known him two weeks. We haven't been able to meet yet. So I have no hesitation in saying I'm no less of a submissive because I am not yet ready to trust him completely. My trust isn't tossed around like candy at a parade, it's earned. I think a lot of people rush into their submission and I'm not willing to do that. So if people question my submissiveness - I say let them, because I know I want to explore that side of myself, am ready to, and if I find someone I think will respect me and like me for who I am then he will receive my surrender. Aside from the weight, I have not kept any secrets from him - though there are things I am not ready to share with him until I meet him, get to know him a little more and am ready to put my trust in him.

 

[bunny bondage]

if you had a dominant - would you tell him all too? you sort of should yes? i mean how else can he most effectively dominante you and make decisions based on your behavior unless he knows what you're thinking right? He has to know your secrets.

it's all circumstantial. it depends on the secret and the type of relationship i'm having. but no, i don't think that just because someone's my dom they should know every secret i have. as the relationship progressed, became a thing of decades, then yes, i would eventually get around to telling him everything. but not right off the bat, no.

 

[BlueSugar]

I'm having a hard time while bdsm-ing with my partner ... sometimes I can't stop smiling ... does that count?

 

[Krinaia]

Hmmm....

only if you say it does? Do you have a deep dark secret?

I do... one of the girls on the field study program I went on in Miami made out heavily with another girl in a club... a strange girl. And I'm not supposed to tell anyone. <sigh> It's soooo juicy though.... Lol.

 

[BlueSugar]

Hmmm....

only if you say it does? Do you have a deep dark secret?

I do... one of the girls on the field study program I went on in Miami made out heavily with another girl in a club... a strange girl. And I'm not supposed to tell anyone. <sigh> It's soooo juicy though.... Lol.

I have pleanty, but really I enjoy it all too much and I can't get the stupid grin off my face...I guess I'm still a noob.

 

[Krinaia]

What the heck is a noob?

 

[bunny bondage]

What the heck is a noob?

noob = noobie = newbie

 

[MissTaken]

noob = noobie = newbie

Rhymes with boob, boobie adn bewbie.

Yuk. That doesn't work!



I keep other people's secrets well. However, I am the queen of TMI when it comes to my own stuff that should probably remain a secret.

 

[BlueSugar]

noob = noobie = newbie

ty bunny.

hehe, at least I didn't "spell it" n00b >0.0<

 

[bunny bondage]

ty bunny.

hehe, at least I didn't "spell it" n00b >0.0<

w00t w00t! where's all my h4x0r5 at? c'mon, gamers!


*slinks away to play team fortress*

 

[lapinova]

generally, i can keep secrets pretty well... although i always tell anyone who might be inclined to tell me a secret that if it's the kind of thing that might seriously cause harm to someone else, i might feel obligated to spill it. If they decide at that point to spill the beans anyway, i can do whatever needs doing and feel okay about it.

As for telling my Dom everything... it's hard to say for certain, since i've never had a more serious relationship with one. All my experience has been with a dear friend who has also been Dom and playmate for me...
There are also many things i could tell him, but he just isn't interested in hearing about so-and-so at work, or what's-her-name down the block. i'd feel completely secure and safe telling him so, but since he's not interested in that sort of gossip, it helps curb the urge to spread something juicy around. He has a way of looking at me when i start getting catty that shuts me down and makes me feel awfully foolish for being a gossip.
As for the deeper, more personal stuff... i have always felt comfortable enough to tell him anything. I figure if i trust him enough to let him tie me naked and hit me with various implements, and trust him enough to let him see that most vulnerable part of who i am, i should be able to trust him with any small secret i might have.

 

[NCShin]

w00t w00t! where's all my h4x0r5 at? c'mon, gamers!


*slinks away to play team fortress*

50 J00 W@nT LE3t 5p3@K huH? W3ll heR3 y@ 9o......d4mN 5@M 4nd I cAn't $l33p.


or if you prefer...

S0 J00 \/\/4Nt L33+ 5Pe@k |-|UH? Well |-|ErE y4 9O......dA|\/||\| 5@|\/| 4|\||) 1 c4|\|'+ 5leeP.

 

[Krinaia]

generally, i can keep secrets pretty well... although i always tell anyone who might be inclined to tell me a secret that if it's the kind of thing that might seriously cause harm to someone else, i might feel obligated to spill it. If they decide at that point to spill the beans anyway, i can do whatever needs doing and feel okay about it.

As for telling my Dom everything... it's hard to say for certain, since i've never had a more serious relationship with one. All my experience has been with a dear friend who has also been Dom and playmate for me...
There are also many things i could tell him, but he just isn't interested in hearing about so-and-so at work, or what's-her-name down the block. i'd feel completely secure and safe telling him so, but since he's not interested in that sort of gossip, it helps curb the urge to spread something juicy around. He has a way of looking at me when i start getting catty that shuts me down and makes me feel awfully foolish for being a gossip.
As for the deeper, more personal stuff... i have always felt comfortable enough to tell him anything. I figure if i trust him enough to let him tie me naked and hit me with various implements, and trust him enough to let him see that most vulnerable part of who i am, i should be able to trust him with any small secret i might have.

I think it's harder to let go of those secrets and let a person see that sort of vulnerablity then to let them tie you up. I want to be tied up... though too I want someone who will know my deepest hidden fears and insecurities and still like me and want to help me work through them... that to me takes a great deal more trust then letting someone top you. And perhaps is the deeper level of submission.

 

[BlueSugar]

w00t w00t! where's all my h4x0r5 at? c'mon, gamers!


*slinks away to play team fortress*

last hijack:

>< !!

 

[bunny bondage]

50 J00 W@nT LE3t 5p3@K huH? W3ll heR3 y@ 9o......d4mN 5@M 4nd I cAn't $l33p.


or if you prefer...

S0 J00 \/\/4Nt L33+ 5Pe@k |-|UH? Well |-|ErE y4 9O......dA|\/||\| 5@|\/| 4|\||) 1 c4|\|'+ 5leeP.

lol! and the sad thing is i read it without even having to pause. i'm 31337

*hijack over!*

 

[FungiUg]

Secrets I can keep okay.

But when I am nervous, I can blurt out the silliest things. Not necessarily secrets, but often embaressing.

Like when my lover was meeting my ex's best friend, I introduced her as "Hi, this is ..., and she snores." My lover's never let me forget that one!

It just popped out! Honest! What a wierd thing to say...

 

[landcruisergal]

I have a friend from childhood simply everything, I know she will never judge me.Its good to have someone who will listen and to lean on. We have only seen each other once in 10 years, and there's been big gaps between, but still like sisters.Secrets? I think she knows all mine and vice versa.
I tell my master everything sexual,thoughts and deeds, fears and cravings.

 

[TANG GOD]

50 J00 W@nT LE3t 5p3@K huH? W3ll heR3 y@ 9o......d4mN 5@M 4nd I cAn't $l33p.


or if you prefer...

S0 J00 \/\/4Nt L33+ 5Pe@k |-|UH? Well |-|ErE y4 9O......dA|\/||\| 5@|\/| 4|\||) 1 c4|\|'+ 5leeP.

PWN3D!!!!!77

 

[bdsmToy]

psssh.....you can allways tell me your secrets